18. Hellena

18

HELLENA

E arly morning sun shimmers through the blinds, stirring me.

I feel rested, lounging in the groggy, blissful, slow waking that makes every position you stretch into even better, savoring the dregs of sleep. Only I don't stretch much.

Because I don't want to move.

The cables of a muscular arm encircle my waist, cupping up under my breasts. I can feel Gavin's deep breaths rhythmically pressing into my back.

We're still on the couch. We didn't bother pulling out the bed.

I let my eyes droop closed again, letting my body sense every inch of him pressed against me.

This. I've needed this more than anything.

Even if it's just for one night.

Just this morning.

Carefully, I press my thumb to my phone screen. It's 8 a.m.

Surprisingly, he's still sleeping. Then again, we are so cozy, and for the first time since I've known him, he's quiet, not mumbling in his sleep. Not tossing like I hear every night from just outside his room. I'd love to let him sleep forever.

I doze off again, allowing myself the indulgence of being held, affection. And truly letting myself relax. I feel like I haven't let down my guard in weeks.

Gavin's groan and his hand gently squeezing me suddenly have me wide awake.

Or it could be the other part of him that's wide awake, dipping into the gap of my ass and thighs.

It's beyond tempting to push back into him, grind my ass over his massive length. It would be so easy. So satisfying. And a little mean to both of us.

But it's only mean if I don't offer to take care of it.

Imagining what it would feel like in my mouth, sliding between my legs…

The blanket, plus his infernal body heat, has me tossing the covers aside, sitting up. I press my palms against my face, feeling the blush in my cheeks. I'm soaking through my shorts, I'm so turned on, sneaking a peak back to make sure he's still asleep.

He drifts back off, the edge of his lip curling in a soft smile.

Gavin is unbearably handsome most of the time, rugged. In his sleep, without any of the worry that creases his forehead or the concrete glare that chisels his brow more often than not, he looks breathtaking . One strand of wavy, reddish-brown hair dangles down over his forehead, the rest a tousled mess on my pillow.

I can't bear the thought of waking him.

Not with how much he's been working this past week. The only thing he'll tell me is that the recent jobs haven't been too bad, mostly just hose down and scrub, without any… leftovers.

But there's been a lot of jobs.

So, I mosey into the kitchen, quietly setting the coffee to brew while I fire up the stove and crack a few eggs, pour some batter in another pan. He's made me breakfast more than a few times since I've been here and I've never had the chance to return the favor.

Delicious smells fill the house, and when I turn around to plate up some of the flapjacks, I see him there, leaning on his forearms across the bar countertop, drinking me in.

So many things pop into my head to say, to ask.

But his soft smile dissolves every thought I had. Straight butterflies .

I plate the food, set the table, and he pours the coffee, adding my almond creamer for me and sitting down to wait for me. Turning off the stove gives me a moment to take a breath before I sit down to join him.

Why am I so nervous?

I just slept all night with him wrapped around me.

We eat in that same comfortable silence, making happy food sounds at each other and letting the morning drag out as long as we can. It's silly, stupid. It's the best morning I've ever had.

As if on cue, we both take a final sip of coffee, setting down our cups and looking at each other.

"Thank you for breakfast," he says shyly, like we just hooked up the night before. "I've got to head out, so I'm going to change. Don't clean up. I'll get it later."

"But—"

"Go get ready for your lunch date. Take a bath." A little wink accompanies the statement as he gets up.

"Gav…" I start, but he shakes his head. I'm a little confused as he walks over, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a close embrace. His earthy scent and warmth envelope me, my chest swelling with a strange, aching feeling. He breathes deeply, pressing his lips to my head.

We savor it for a few seconds before he lets go, heading to his room to change.

That bubble of happiness chases me into the bathroom, lingering through my scalding hot bubble bath, a pass over my legs with the razor. It has me bopping along to my music as I take the extra time to pin up parts of my hair along the sides of my head, twisting the two strands around the back and flipping them over and through to hold the rest in place.

Next, I pick out my outfit. Evan's influence and commentary made me anxious at first, paranoid of how I looked. Now, I'm really good at complimenting my figure.

Hmm. Lunch date.

I go casual, but still cute. Jeans, the tight ones that make my butt look great, a slinky, sleeveless burgundy top, and a loose, extra-long cardigan for when I inevitably get cold.

My reflection makes me grin foolishly. I should be worrying over other stuff . Not outfits.

Like the fact that I just snuggled one of the men in my life and I'm about to go out on a date with another.

Not to mention the third guy, who had me creaming all over myself just a few days ago.

Today, it doesn't bother me one bit.

Things have to settle down at some point. Fall into place. Maybe I have to just let them, sometimes.

I hear the car pull up as I shuffle into the kitchen, brushing my teeth and dumping out my leftover coffee. Gavin is at the door to the sound of a knock, and now I'm wondering if this was a good idea.

"Hi, I'm here for Hellena…"

"Sure thing. Come in. She's almost ready." Gavin steps back, looking positively intimidating in his work boots, black jeans, and a T-shirt that looks like it's fighting for its life against his ripped chest and shoulders.

Tell steps in, glancing my way before turning back to Gavin. "I'm Tell. You're Hellena's roommate?" It's a straight question, no suspicion or hesitation. I'm impressed.

"Pleasure to meet you. Gavin." They shake hands firmly, do that buddy nod thing that guys do.

There's none of the tension that Evan and Gavin had, none of the flirtatious teasing or posturing. Just Gavin being Gavin, sizing him up for threats.

And Tell being Tell, smiling like a jackal.

I cross the room, rising up onto my toes to kiss Tell in greeting, just on the edge of his lips.

"Shall we?"

"If it's cool with you…" He glances at Gavin.

"Why is he looking at me?" Gav asks, grimacing.

"I have no idea." I almost choke on a laugh. He'd better not be thinking what I think he's thinking.

"Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean—" Tell scrambles.

Before things can get any more awkward, I slip my arms around Gavin's neck, kissing his cheek and brushing my nose against his stubble. May as well put the nail in the coffin of awkwardness. See what Tell does with it.

"I'll see you tonight?" I linger for just a second, enjoying one massive arm around my waist.

"Damn straight. Have fun." And go Gavin, he pulls me in for another hug, burying his face in the side of my neck.

" Oh . Okay. Cool." Tell grins, nodding like he just got a perfectly reasonable explanation. Well, then. "We'll all have to get together and hang out sometime."

My brain is spinning as he waves, and I drag him along toward the car. Not how I expected that to go.

In minutes, we're heading down the coastal road back to town. I've gotten so used to taking the back way through the woods that I had forgotten how beautiful the drive was.

"You know, now that I'm with you, I feel like I did not plan the day out well enough," Tell admits, chewing his lip.

I can think of a few plans for those lips…

"I thought the plan was to hang out, me and you. No need to overthink it."

"I overthink everything ," he grumbles.

"Me too. So let's keep it super simple. Take me to your favorite place in Sanctum. Then we can get food. I'm not picky."

"Damn. Why didn't I think of that?" It's actually nice to hear him sound unsure. Like he's off his game and not always the smooth operator.

Unlike some statuesque, dark-haired control freak whom I work for who never shows a sign of weakness or error…

I resist the urge to check my phone to see if he's messaged me.

It's my day off. No work stuff!

Soon, the tree-lined roads Tell takes heading east start to look unfamiliar. After about ten minutes, he turns off through a gate that he suspiciously opens with a button and heads up a single-lane, paved track. It winds up along a ridge, switching back a few times before depositing us at an overlook, a series of old wooden buildings sitting back in the trees.

"Where are we?" I open the car door, following him. The view is unreal . Sanctum Harbor stretches out below us, all the way to the bay, just past a crystalline blue lake I couldn't see as we drove past it. "And how is it not packed with hikers and tourists?"

"Well… that is because it's mine. Sort of."

"You own this property? That's incredible."

"My family owns this property. Used to be a retreat, cabins for rent. Went bankrupt back in the '90s. No one has offered to rent the place from us since. I think everyone just forgot about it, my dad included." The tone of his voice shifts when he mentions his dad, a subtle dip that has me reaching for his hand resting on the railing. "So…"

"So, what?"

"Did I pass?" He takes my hand, leading me along the walk that runs the length of the ridge for several hundred yards.

"Pass what?"

"The scary roommate test." He laughs.

"With flying colors. Gavin can be?—"

"Scary as fuck?"

"Good way to put it. Gavin and I are…" My face scrunches. I don't have a word for it.

"Complicated?"

"Very."

"I disagree. My whole life is complicated. But the one thing that isn't is wanting to see you. Spend time with you. If you feel anything like I do about him, it's really simple. Just enjoy it."

"I think I get what you mean…" I lean in, pulling his face down to mine, waiting for him to dip the last few inches to plant his lips against mine. It's firm at first, then insistent, our tongues teasing for more.

Soon, it turns into an embrace, our mouths slowing, sucking and tugging on his bottom lip, him gently biting mine. It's ten times better than the stolen kiss we had a week ago. A hundred times better than that perfect first kiss we had at the party.

Tell eases back into the railing, half sitting and opening his legs for me to come closer, putting us at eye level with one another, looping his arms around me. I fit into the nook he makes for me like a puzzle piece.

A soft moan slips out as he grazes his fingers up along my jaw, spearing them into my hair, sending shivers down my back. Our kiss heats up, faster, tongues caressing, curling, setting off fireworks inside my head and throughout my body.

The effect on Tell is appreciable .

As my body awakens to his touch, his stomach firms as his breathing speeds up, arching his waist toward me. Even through our clothes, I'm stunned at the size of him, instantly curious to see just how incredible he'd feel in my hands, my mouth, or anywhere else…

As turned on as we are, we pause, resting our foreheads together, letting the anticipation rest between us. "More later?"

"Is that even a question?" I gasp.

"I can't give it all up right at the start…"

"Right, 'cause that would be so bad." We bask in each other's smile for a few moments, gazing out over the lake, the city.

"I wouldn't want you to think I'm just trying to get in your pants, you know?" He squeezes my ass as he says it.

"Not just that." I wink.

Every time I'm with him, I find new depth, surprising reactions from him that have me falling for him more and more, even though I barely know him. I say as much, pulling back and nuzzling into his lean, long torso.

"That's an easy fix, you know? I'll tell you anything you want to know over lunch."

"Ooh, lunch and secrets? How can I say no?"

"Only if you tell me some in return. I did plan where we're eating. You like tapas?"

"I love tapas!"

A half hour later, we're sitting in a cozy red booth at Luna's. Tyler takes a bite, nodding appreciatively. "You know how to pick 'em."

"We could have probably pointed at anything on the menu and been fine." He's right, though. My paella is unbelievably good. "Now that we're not starving…"

"How about this?" He pauses to take a sip of sangria. "I'll ask you something, you answer, then you add something secret that I wouldn't ask, then reverse."

"I like it. But I go first. What exactly is your job?"

"Ah, yes. I guess I had that coming. I am what I like to call an information broker."

"Like a spy?" I try to look intriguing.

"More like a PI, private investigator, if we're being objective about it."

"And who do you work for?" I press.

"Lots of different clients. There's a lot to it, and it's never the same thing twice. Most of it's just plain boring. And you're already breaking the rules of the game. One question. Now, I'll tell you something about me you'd never think to ask."

"Ooh, tell me, tell me." I lean forward over the table, teasing him with wide eyes.

"You're a menace. Okay. I speak six languages."

Impressive.

"That's just bragging! Tell me something secret. Something real."

"You're right." Tell shrugs. There's a short pause as he thinks. Then, "I, uh, I have crippling OCD."

He says it softly, simply.

I take his hand.

"Thank you. You don't ever have to share more about that, but you can. I can't relate to it specifically, but I've struggled with massive anxiety. Particularly where guns and violence are concerned."

"Seems like you have quite the backstory. Is that what brought you to Sanctum?"

"Is that your question?"

"Officially, yes."

Doubts swarm through my mind, fears and aching memories. I've never told anyone, other than Rachelle. And she got the abbreviated, edited, only-what-she-needed-to-know version. The less anyone knows, the better.

But it's been eight years.

"I escaped an abusive family, my stepfather. My mom who could never stand up to him. She finally helped me get out after…" The words lock up in my throat. Davi's empty eyes stare at me.

"That's enough, Hella, you don't have to say it." True sorrow on Tell's face shows me he understands. That he knows pain and abuse.

"No. I want to. It's just hard."

"Eventually. You can tell me anything. Just take your time."

"I guess I messed up the game…" I laugh, wiping away the mist from one eye with the back of my hand.

"Never. The only thing that ruins anything are those kinds of people. Like my father," he quips with a humorless smile.

"I take it your dad is…"

"A domineering, controlling, overbearing, conniving, vindictive… sorry."

"Don't be. I know exactly how that can be. My stepfather was just like that." I scoot around in the booth to be closer to him.

"Politician?"

"Career criminal."

"Wow!" Tell laughs, his eyes bugging. "You may have me beat. Although, my dad isn't far from it. He's the mayor."

"What? Your dad is Mayor Vanderbelt. Tyler Vand. Now I get it."

"Shh! Keep it down. I don't go around advertising it. And I've managed to stay out of the public eye over the years by very carefully crafting who people think Tyler Sr.'s son is. Or rather, making sure everyone forgets that he exists. I know my dad is happy to pretend most of the time."

"Now there's a question… how do I know the one I'm having lunch with is the ‘real' you?"

Tell tips his head back, snorting sangria as a pop of real laughter slips out. "You got me there. Ever since the night we met, I've asked myself the same question. I've been worried about misleading you, inadvertently putting up walls, or masks… but it always comes back to one thing."

"My sweet ass?"

"Definitely that. Seriously, though, the noise, the twitching, choking neurosis of my OCD… it all stops when I'm with you." It's real. Raw.

"I believe you. And I trust you." At my statement, he pulls me close, tasting my lips again.

The more we talk, the more it makes sense. The way he is, his job, the disguises. It's his way of controlling his world.

If anyone can understand that, it's me. The peace I feel when I'm with him, with Gavin, and occasionally with Evan, in a very different way. It puts so many of my own fears and traumas to rest.

It allows me to take steps forward, work on myself and stack up the foundation I need to thrive.

"Let's get out of here." I don't bother hiding the heat in my voice. I want more.

My phone vibrates as he pays the bill, pulling me back to reality.

We've been sitting here for hours.

Heading to the car, I swipe it open to find…

Evan - Need you to swing by the office. Forgot to shred Fleischman file. Thanks -

Always something…

"Hey, would you mind if we swing by my office? My boss needs me to fix something. Sorry."

"No problem." He smiles. Not even a flinch at bringing up Evan.

He takes the shortest route, and I'm hardly surprised that he knows the way. We both smirk at the unspoken admission.

"Come up with me." I lead the way, heading straight through the lobby and down the hall. The papers and shredder can wait. My hands are tugging his shirt before my office door is closed, slamming my body into his, our groans muffled by the meeting of our lips.

I let my eyes flutter closed, savoring the taste of him, exploring his mouth with mine, exploring his body with my hands. The buttons on his shirt offer me no challenge at all, my own shirt slipped off and tossed on the floor in a clean sweep of his fingers up my torso.

"Oh, Hella…" The look on his face turns my knees to jelly, sending me slumping back to sit against my desk. I let him look for a second before I coax him forward, tipping my head back, exposing my neck and blushing chest.

His lips are on me in a flash, his teeth nipping at my collarbone, down, leaving his mark on my skin as one hand slips around to unfasten my bra. The sound he makes when the lacy fabric slips down is spine-tingling, a moan of longing, relief, surprise.

Those teeth and lips take their time, circling the outer edge of each nipple, the firm, wet tip of his tongue dragging up and around to the tip, nipping with enough pressure to make me gasp, then yelp with pleasure.

I won't let him have all the fun. With him bent over me, I have easy access, reaching down and popping the button on his pants, forcing the zipper down as I slide my hand into his shorts.

"Fuck," we both grind out as my fingers circle the silky skin of his rock-hard desire for me. I let my palm skim teasingly back up, the head of his cock throbbing in my hand before I grip harder, jerking up and down slowly.

Our lips lock again as I pull him toward me, only by the staggering length of him between us. My mouth waters at the sight of him, his shirt open, abs and chest rippling as he sighs under my touch, his pants sagging down, letting me see more. His pulsing shaft wrapped in my fingers sends jolts of scalp-prickling lightning through me.

A trickle of sticky, glistening lust dribbles out of him, and I sigh out a whimper, dropping to my knees to lick it up, swirling it around my tongue, then swirling my tongue around his tip, drawing a deep, rumbling growl from him.

Before I can take him into my mouth completely, he reaches down, pulling me up and shoving me back against the desk. "No fair. I want dessert…"

I can't argue with the searing gaze he nails me with, like emerald fire shooting through me. I can only nod, easing up onto the top of my desk, wiggling as he works my jeans off, his fingernails grazing my flushed, heated skin.

A second of hesitation shoots through me, old insecurities about my weight, my size.

It's all swept away as he pauses to admire my form, my white panties, already drenched with the sight of his half-naked body. Like he can read my mind, he looks up at me, pinning me with a glance. "I want to taste every inch of your skin." Spreading my legs is all the permission he needs, and all I can manage, desperate for his touch.

He tears my underwear down, flinging my clothes to the side. His elbows hook under my knees, tilting me back as he lowers himself, kissing down my belly, into the dip of my hips. I let my legs settle onto his shoulders, raising my hand to run my fingers through his honey golden hair.

My view from above has me dripping onto the desk, watching his face, his lips on my inner thighs, right before he drives a kiss right onto my center, pressing his tongue to the swell, right at the tip of my sex.

It curls, circling, then dips, sliding down the crease, around again, then driving straight into me. " Tell !" I shout, an eruption of goosebumps and chills coruscating over me.

First one finger teases at my opening as he licks back to the peak of my clit, sucking and flicking into a rhythm that pounds into my brain, tingles into my hips and up my sides. "Yes… please…" I beg him as he slips his middle finger in, pulling back against the cluster of ecstasy just inside.

Like he fucking knows my body already.

Like it's already told him all of its secrets.

My hips clench, the anticipation of my release already swelling. In reply, he grips my legs, wrapping his arms around them, one hand pressing down just above his mouth on my lower abdomen, the other hand holding me fast.

The pressure of his finger inside me doubles, speeding up, rushing me to my end.

I let it happen. As much as I want to draw it out, I need this. I need him to have it, to take it from me. Then I can have him…

The back of my head drives down into the hard surface of the desk, my back arching, just as the first wave of my orgasm hits. It's deep, shaking my core, the desk, my entire world.

It grows, soaring to a peak, my whole body tightening, a ragged scream torn from my throat right before I erupt, pumping my hips in time to the strokes of his finger and tongue.

My eyes are rolling, half closed, the back wall of my office upside-down in my view, the door to Evan's office in the shadows between the shelves. It almost looks like someone's there, behind the small window on the door.

But I can't focus, letting the thought slip away in the throes of my rolling release. Two more waves rack my body, Tell riding them out. He could force me to come again in seconds, but I tug on his hair softly, pulling him up.

Spots flash and pop before my eyes as I look down, watch him raise his eyes, drag his tongue up my center one last time. "I need you. Inside me. Now."

A sound buzzes from the floor.

Again.

Tell ignores it, standing to lean over me, kissing me deeply. My taste on his lips has me panting, my core burning to be filled. I feel him there, waiting to slide in and fulfill my every desire.

Until his phone rings again.

On the third round, he moves to silence it, a growl in his throat. "Just answer it, Tell." I laugh, my hands on his flushed cheeks.

"Fuck that. I need…" I can see his need, the soaked length of his cock arching up, reaching for me, ready to blow my mind.

Slipping the phone out, he pauses, then reaches back for another phone. "Shit. I have to take this."

Figures he would have a few different phones. He's dressing quickly, tension clear all over his body. "I'm so sorry, Hell, you have no idea."

"I think I do. Let me?—"

"I can't."

"Work?"

He just nods, bending to kiss me deeply.

"Go. I can just Uber home," I offer when he hesitates to leave. I can always take Evan's SUV, sitting in the covered parking out back.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine. Call me when you can?"

"Count on it." He holds onto my hand as long as he can until he steps away, through the door.

The encounter replays over and over on my drive home, keeping me grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. I can't wait to see him again. Hopefully, everything's okay.

At home, the porch light sees me in, a sign that Gavin is still out or in bed. The house is quiet, so his job must have taken longer than usual. It's not uncommon, Gavin getting home in the middle of the night.

I'm out cold in minutes.

Until a loud ringing interrupts my dreams.

It's… the telephone? The land line.

I debate letting it go until I realize the porch light is still on and I see the clock above the fireplace, just visible in the glow through the window. 4 a.m.

Gavin's still not home.

I bolt off the couch, right into the kitchen, snatching the receiver off the charger.

"Hello?"

There's no sound, except what might be breathing.

"Hello? G–Gavin?"

"Urm… L–Lena…" It's so faint I can barely hear it.

"Gavin! What's wrong?" The line is silent again, panic rising as I strain to catch any sound. Finally, he growls, closer to the phone.

"Shot. Bleeding out. N–need you."