Chapter 22

22

T he queen's birthday feast is even more magnificent than Kai's welcome party. The Grand Hall is bedecked in flowers and draped in gold silk panels that hang from ceiling to floor. Polished golden ornaments and fixtures hover above the sea of beautiful heads.

The ladies and I get ready together in Sorscha's chambers.? * It's been ages since I've done anything like that with girlfriends. We gossip and giggle as we sift through dresses from the hefty assortment delivered to Sorscha's room. I select a lacy, silver gown with a full skirt and a diamond-encrusted corset.

We dance until our feet bark in protest. I get tipsy on Pink Poison after two sips, and the party revolves around me like a beautiful carousel. Before I know it, we're drunkenly stumbling into the hall, back to Sorscha's chambers for one of her infamous after-parties.

Surprisingly, Jace does not excuse himself this time. It's oddly refreshing to watch him interact with our friends. He still holds himself straight and proud, every inch of him the dutiful captain, but there's a rare ease about him. Seeing him and Sorscha standing close and seeming so familiar with each other, I can't help but conjecture about the extent of their relationship. It threatens to dampen my good mood.

"Cheat!" Marideth slams her hand of cards down on the table, flinging an accusatory finger at Kai. The table shakes under her force, silver goblets of wine and ale spilling over the side. Kai holds his hands up innocently as the room erupts into chaos.

"He always does this!" Mar shouts over the noise, knocking back her seat as she shoots to her feet. "No, no, no. I am not giving you my Stygian horse! She'd throw you thirty paces if you even attempted to mount her!"

Kai's answering laugh is musical. Marideth tosses her cards in the air, and they slowly rain down over our heads.

"I'm done with his game. If you can't play by the rules, don't play at all!"

I try to stifle my own giggles at her seething outburst. Her anger sends Dover into a laughing fit of his own and he wraps his arms around her from behind, cooing to her gently. She jabs her elbow into his ribs.

"Game over," the princess declares, leaning back in her chair and shaking out her lustrous curls. "What now? Shall we call for some music?"

"Do or die!" Ilsa's little voice pipes from the table. Her white-blonde hair has already grown back to her chest in the months that have passed since she lost over a foot of it to the drunken game. Fae hair grows exceptionally fast.

Lucky bastards.

The princess claps her hands together excitedly while Jace watches from behind her, leaning against the wall with a casual grace that threatens to break my heart. I clear my throat, redirecting my attention to the table.

"How do we play?"

"Well, first, you finish the rest of that drink"—Sorscha points at me sternly—"and then you choose ‘do' or ‘die.' You either do whatever we tell you to, or you have to die by telling us a truth—something wildly outrageous or embarrassing. Preferably your deepest, darkest secret." Her eyes gleam wickedly.

"So, it's truth or dare," I conclude, glancing at a messy-haired Zadyn, who nods in response.

"Truth or dare?" Cece asks, looking devastating in her low-cut powder blue gown.

"Oh, that's just what we called it where I grew up," I say offhandedly.

"In the temple?" Kai eyes me with blatant curiosity. "Who'd you play with, the priestesses?"

"No, no," I fumble. "There were others there that were my age. A few orphans. We used to play together."

"Huh. Interesting." The slow smirk that spreads over his face is full of mischief.

"Who is first?" Sorscha bubbles, her joy barely containable.

"Me." Cece leans forward with sensual grace.

"Do or die, Ceec?" Kai twirls a lock of raven hair around his long finger.

"Do, obviously." She brings a golden goblet to her lips and takes a slow sip.

"Kiss someone in the room for ten seconds," Ilsa lilts. We all look at her and burst into laughter.

Cece eases back in her chair, contemplating as her gaze travels around the table before snagging on Zadyn, seated between us.

Her hand shoots out to grab him by the collar, hauling his lips to hers. Momentarily awestruck, Zadyn freezes, his eyes wide in surprise. I, however, am not the least bit surprised. When she deepens the kiss, Zadyn's eyes drift shut, one hand moving to her head, the other to her waist, drawing her closer.

I know Cece isn't doing it for show. But then again, Zadyn doesn't look like he's having the worst time, either.

The group chants as I gape, open-mouthed at the display. "Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

Cece doesn't release him there. At least two more seconds pass, and just before she pulls away, her tongue flicks out to lick his lips playfully. She slumps back in her chair, smug and self-satisfied. Everyone around us hoots and hollers.

"Damn, Ceec." Dover laughs, tipping his glass to her and drinking.

I chance a look at Zadyn, who is suppressing a bashful smile, cheeks flushed in a way that makes him look boyish.

"I think it's Serena's turn." Cece eyes me, her honeyed voice dripping in challenge. I'm sure she's used to people shrinking beneath those cunning green eyes. But not me.

"Do." I straighten, answering boldly.

"Brave female," Dover commends with a silent clap.

"Serena, my love. You may wear anything in this room," Kai croons, arching a dark eyebrow. " Except for clothing."

I roll my eyes at him.

"Could you be more obvious, Kai?" Mar teases.

"About what? The fact that I find Lady Serena to be a truly staggering female or the fact that my greatest joy as of late is making her blush?"

Instead of a witty comeback, I stride over to the window beside Jace, grabbing hold of the rose-colored brocade curtains. With a hard tug, the heavy drape falls into my waiting arms. I turn to Kai and dump them into his seated lap.

"Hold this," I command .

Excitement dances in his ocean eyes as he rises to his feet and lifts the curtain, his arms outstretched. I tug at the laces of my dress, and it pools to the ground in a heap. Kai's eyes start to wander as I slip out of my underclothes.

"No peeking," I snap.

When I'm fully nude behind the drape, I wrap it around myself, like a towel tucked beneath my armpits. The group applauds as I do a presentational twirl.

"How chic, cousin!" Sorscha giggles as I pad over to my seat, clutching the material together at my chest. Zadyn shakes his head at me affectionately and I shrug back at him.

"Dover, you're up," I tell him.

"I've got one, I've got one," Kai says, twisting around in his chair to peer at Dover, who is perched on the back of the couch.

"You just went, Kai!" Marideth objects.

"And I didn't even choose yet!" Dover protests, holding out his hands.

"Oh, Dove, we all know you always choose do, so let's just skip it and get to the good part."

He pauses dramatically. We wait.

"A full streak, if you please. One lap around the grounds."

"Does that include the gardens as well?" Dover crosses his arms.

"Absolutely," Kai retorts.

The ladies squeal in delight. Dover eyes Kai with a challenge in his stare as he straightens off the couch and begins to unbutton his fitted jacket. He tosses it at Mar like a Chippendales dancer before moving to the laces on his trousers, ripping each one free with emphatic showmanship.

Kai's voice momentarily halts his deft fingers. "And you can't use the main exit." He nods his head to the curtain-less window.

"You bastard." Dover shakes his head. He continues to strip, tossing pieces of clothing at the ladies, who catch them with squeals of delight. Once he is fully naked, he struts over to the window, proud as a peacock. I do my best to keep my eyes above his waist, but even in my periphery, I can tell he's well endowed.

"Get a good look, ladies," he brags, heaving the window open and glancing downward.

"Little chill in the air, Dove?" Kai teases. Dover flips him off and climbs over the sill, his head disappearing from sight.

We all rush to the window to watch him scale the four stories down the trellis and drop gently onto the grass beneath. When he reaches the ground, he waves up at us.

"The party guests are probably on their way out now." Sorscha giggles, covering her mouth.

"Exactly, which is why there is no way I'm missing this." Kai hauls himself out the window and follows after him swiftly. He glances up at our heads, poked out the window, and motions for us to join. "Come on!" he hisses jovially.

"We can't climb in these dresses, Kai!" the princess yells, her liquor-laced voice echoing into the midnight expanse.

"Then take them off!"

Sorscha looks at Marideth for a moment, and then they begin to strip. Cece gives an annoyed sigh but follows suit, casting a seductive glance at Zadyn as she slides her gown over her shoulders and begins to shimmy out of it.

I refrain from rolling my eyes.

Once the ladies are down to their corsets, bloomers, and tights, they begin to file out the window.

"You're insane!" I shout as they begin to climb.

"Come on, cousin!" The princess squeals gleefully and gently lowers herself down.

"Please, be careful," Jace says softly from beside me. She waves him off affectionately. I glance at Jace, who seems to have no intention of joining the escapade. Cece brushes between us rudely, her white camisole clinging to her curves. She tosses her golden hair over her shoulder, nearly taking out my eye, and looks back at Zadyn.

"Are you coming?" Her voice is a sugar-coated dare.

He peels off his jacket and follows her wordlessly down the trellis. Their bodies grow farther away until they are ant-sized on the ground below. Dover, covering his loins, bolts toward the gardens, followed by a chortling Kai and the rest of the group. An affectionate smile blooms on my face as their shouts of delight drift up to us from below.

"You don't want to join them?" Jace breaks my reverie.

"I don't have a death wish." I nod toward the trellis. "You?"

"It wouldn't be appropriate to be seen around the castle, enabling a handful of streaking nobility."

"The breaks of being captain, I guess." I sip my wine and set it down on the ledge.

"It has its advantages," he says softly.? *

Our hands rest on the window sill, side by side, our pinkies nearly touching. I'm hyper-aware of his every breath, his every move. That's when I realize I'm standing an inch from him, wrapped in nothing but a curtain. He notices the sudden tension in me as I drop my gaze.

"No need to be shy. I've seen more than a set of bare shoulders in my lifetime." He looks from me to the open window. The soft breeze bristles my hair, and I tuck a strand behind my ear.

"I'm not shy," I murmur. The sidelong glance he slides my way tells me he remains unconvinced. Then his gaze falls to my bare arms. He reaches out unexpectedly and grips one in his large hand.

"You're getting stronger," he says appreciatively.

"I know." I watch as his thumb sweeps up my arm in a way that feels more than casual. I momentarily leave my body. "What are you doing?"

"I'm admiring my work."

"Your work? It's my body!" I scoff.

"That I have been training, honing, and sharpening for months."

"You are…really something." Shaking my head at him, I glance outside to where the group has disappeared into the hedge maze.

"I'm good at my job, is what I am." His answering smirk is unnerving.

"You're an ass."

He shifts to lean his elbows against the window sill and peers up at me.

"Have I or have I not made you capable of putting a fae on their back with no magic and no weapons?"

"You may have shown me the steps, but I'm the one dancing."

He scoffs. "Don't get cocky. I can still have you on your back in a second."

I cross my arms over my chest, leaning my hip against the window.

"The thought of that is?—"

"Terrifying?" he supplies.

"Revolting, I was gonna say."

"It wasn't the night you kissed me."

I come up short.

"I thought we agreed to forget about that?" I finally say.

He's quiet for a long time, staring out the window.

"I tried." He swallows tightly, then turns back to me, his gaze trailing down to my lips. "I really don't think I can. "

His admission sends a flood of heat through me. I want to kiss him so badly. I almost think I'm imagining it when his hand reaches up to brush his thumb over my lower lip. He stares, transfixed, as my heart thunders behind my bones in anticipation.

"I can hear your heart," he says in a bedroom-soft voice. "It's racing."

"I'm not used to you being nice to me," I lie smoothly. "I'm worried hell's about to freeze over."

"I'm never nice."

"You're nice to Sorscha." I don't mean to say it, but it slips out, breaking the moment's spell.

"Everyone is." His voice is tight as he retracts his fingers, and disappointment settles over me. "As are you. And you're an absolute menace most of the time, witch."

I don't acknowledge the mild gibe.

"I didn't know." My words are barely audible, but he directs his eyes to me, patiently waiting for me to continue. Shouts of delight drift up to us from below, momentarily filling the silence. "I didn't know that you and Sorscha were…together. I wouldn't have kissed you if I had."

"We're not together. Not yet. And something tells me it wouldn't have mattered anyway. You were…unstoppable." He glances at me doubtfully.

"I'm not like that," I say earnestly. But standing here wanting what isn't mine, I feel guilty as sin.

"You seemed upset. That I went to Zadyn first."

"Not at all." He chuckles darkly. "I felt sorry for him, actually. Poor bastard, panting after you day and night only to have you reciprocate when your judgment is impaired. It probably killed him to deny you."

"That's ridiculous. Zadyn has never panted after me."

Jace gives me a dubious look, angling himself to face me. " Either you are willfully ignorant or even more unobservant than I gave you credit for."

"Neither. Maybe you're just wrong." I dare a step closer.

"Mmm, not so. Where's that famous Blackblood intuition?" His golden eyes dance, the moonlight refracting off of them.

"Buried with the rest of my magic, probably." I sigh, leaning back against the window sill. "I don't know what we're going to do."

"It's a problem that won't be solved by two wine-addled minds in the darkest hours of the morning."

"It's just frustrating." My eyes burn into the back of the sofa. "To have this power inside of me but not be able to understand how it works or how to free it."

"We will keep trying."

"All I have done is try." I turn to look at him. "I'm bending over backward to be what you want—what the king wants. I'm playing the part of courtier, the part of warrior, the part of witch. I feel like an imposter." He studies me as I vent. "I'm none of those things. Not really. I'm just pretending to be part of this world, and every day, it becomes clearer that I don't belong. That I'm nothing like the rest of you."

"That's because you aren't."

I look at him as he pushes off the window sill and comes to stand in front of me, arms crossed over his chest. His golden eyes burn into mine.

"You, witch, are more powerful than any of us. At least you will be when we figure out how to unleash your magic. And we will."

"How do you know that?" I grumble.

"Because you're the most stubborn person I know. And you're smart. Smarter than you give yourself credit for," he adds quietly .

"Okay, now I know hell's freezing over if you're giving me a compliment."

"They're not compliments. They're facts."

"Right, because you don't do compliments."

"Oh, I do compliments. I could bullshit you with odes dedicated to your eyes. I could write songs about the color of your cheek—" He brushes a loose tendril of hair off my shoulder, leaving it naked and exposed to him. "I could tell you that the tiny freckle just beneath your bottom lip haunts my dreams."

For a moment, I think he might touch me.

Might take my face in his hands.

Might set me on fire.

"But you won't." My words are barely a whisper. There is more spoken in the look between us than either of us is able to voice.

"No. I won't."

"Because you don't actually believe any of that or because it would be inappropriate given the fact that you're courting my ‘ cousin ?'"

He says nothing.

"Do or die," I dare.

"I'm not playing with you." His jaw is set.

"Then just answer my question!"

"Both!" He suddenly explodes. "You suffer from the impression that your willfulness is charming—endearing—when in actuality it is infuriating and obnoxious. I don't like you. I am not your friend. I am here to train you, not to reign praises upon you. I am meant to harden you. To make you strong. I'll leave the coddling to your familiar."

Hot tears spring to my eyes at his sudden outburst. I can think of a hundred comebacks to hurl at him, but I no longer have the energy.

"I was only teasing," I say, feeling the heat creep into my cheeks. "But it seems I've pushed you too far tonight." Gathering up the curtain in one hand, I suddenly feel so silly and na?ve. I avoid his heavy stare to hide the tears welling in my eyes.

"It's getting late. Tell the others I went to bed." I start toward the door, but he wraps his hand around my forearm, pulling me to face him. Upon seeing the hurt in my eyes, a softness crosses his face, a look of regret that he quickly masters.

His voice is thick when he speaks, as if it requires some effort. "I'll escort you."

"I would truly rather you didn't." I gently pull my arm away and head out the door without another word.

* ? Cue: Chaise Longue by Wet Leg

* ? Cue: Gasoline by HAIM feat. Taylor Swift