9. Kate

Chapter 9

Kate

T he helicopter ride back to base had been hellish. Kate was exhausted, dehydrated, hungry, and too nauseated with worry to even consider drinking water or eating. Maloy had been on the crew to retrieve them, and he was hovering in the background watching the paramedic who worked on Alexis like a hawk. TSgt Howel was a tall, striking black man with a soft face rimmed with a serious, set mouth drawn downward in a frown.

When Kate looked at him, she thought man, this dude's seen some shit . A medic she hadn't noticed before began working on her, flashing a light in her eyes to check her pupils' response, looking for any obvious signs of injury. The medic pulled out all the supplies for an IV and had Kate hooked up to a bag of fluids in minutes. It felt as if time stretched, and Kate wasn't sure if the trip took twenty minutes or two hours. She watched TSgt Howel work over Alexis, hooking her up to a blood infusion, taking vital signs, and trying to staunch the bleeding coming from her shoulder.

Alexis's eyes didn't open, and she didn't flinch in pain as Howel worked. Kate had the hand on Alexis's good side clasped in her own and she squeezed it, wishing she'd open her eyes or speak. The bloody bandages were strewn along the floor of their helo, and the medic tried to gather it all up at lightning speed as Howel opened gauze dressings and tossed their wrappings away haphazardly. The cabin was silent as they worked to keep Alexis alive.

All the time she'd spent keeping people away, and when she was finally ready to let someone in, a twist of cruel fate was going to kill Alexis. They hadn't had any time together, and Kate's heart throbbed in her chest as she lay there, clutching onto Alexis' hand, waiting for her to show some sign of life.

Abruptly, the helicopter landed. The men carried Alexis out on a stretcher, and Kate tried to turn her head so she could watch as Alexis was led off into the hospital. With a jolt, the stretcher she was on raised off the floor of the helo, and two people carried her in after Alexis.

Kate watched them take Alexis directly into surgery as they took her into an emergency triage area. As Alexis was taken out of sight, Kate bolted up into a seated position.

"Okay, that's far enough. Let me off. I'm fine."

The medics looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"Lieutenant Cross, you're seriously dehydrated and have just spent several days in the desert without a water source. At minimum you need more fluids pushed and a decent meal."

"Fine, but I want you to administer the fluids to me while I sit outside the surgical area. Bring me food if you want, but right now I feel too nauseated to eat."

"We can give you some IV medication for the nausea."

"Great. Then I'll just sit here," Kate indicated to an old plastic chair that sat next to two others outside the doors leading into the operating room. They weren't meant for patients, but she didn't care. She sank down into the chair, leaned her head back against the wall and kept her eyes trained on the doorway to the O.R.

The medics looked at each other and left, realizing they weren't going to get her to move on her own. Kate watched them walk to a desk with a nurse and a field doc and waited for them to decide what they wanted to do with her. She glanced back at the O.R. doors. They could try to get her to move, but short of knocking her out with drugs in her IV and moving her themselves, she wasn't leaving until Alexis came out or until they let her go in.

After a few minutes, one of the medics came over with an IV pole with a few different bags hanging from it. One was for hydration, one for nausea, and one was an antibiotic, standard downrange procedure when one comes into contact with blood. Kate had been swimming in her patients's blood, including Alexis's since they'd arrived in the damned desert.

The nausea medication started to kick in, and Kate finally felt the gnawing nausea fade away. A bit later, the other medic brought her a tray from their kitchen. It wasn't an MRE—it was real, hot food.

"How are you feeling? Think you can eat this now, Lieutenant Cross?"

Kate looked at the plate and realized it must be early morning and the breakfast crew had probably just started their day. There was eggs, toast, sausage patties, plain pancakes without syrup, and orange juice. Her mouth watered, and Kate nodded her head.

The medic smiled at her. "Good. The kitchen crew just came on thirty minutes ago. It's fresh, and I have to admit, it's not bad for army food."

Kate didn't have the energy to talk about how most military food sucked, but occasionally there was a dining facility at an obscure base that had the best food she'd ever tasted.

Instead, she took the tray and picked away slowly at the food. It smelled amazing, and tasted better, but Kate was worried if she ate too quickly she'd throw it up. After twenty minutes, her plate was empty, and so was her IV bag of fluids. The nice medic who'd brought her breakfast appeared out of nowhere with a fresh IV bag and a small paper cup in her hand. She held it out, and Kate got a whiff of strong, bitter coffee and perked up slightly.

"Is that coffee?"

The medic chuckled at her. "Yep, I brought it just for you. As long as you promise me you'll drink your orange juice, I'll give it to you. I also brought you cream and sugar."

"I will do whatever you want me to do if you give me that coffee."

The medic raised her brow at Kate, and Kate huffed a laugh and accepted the warm, steaming, beautiful brown liquid. Swapping out the IV bags only took a few moments, and Kate was grateful for not having to drink down a ton of water to rehydrate herself. She wasn't sure her stomach could handle it.

"Except move from the waiting area."

The medic nodded and cracked a smile at her. "There's something to be said about loyalty, Lieutenant. Call for me if you need anything, I'll be just down the hall at the desk."

Then she turned on her heel and left. Kate watched her return to her desk and begin tapping away at her computer, probably documenting in the chart patient is a total pain in the ass . Kate had always wondered herself why medical personnel were the worst patients.

The waiting area , as she'd called it, was really a small section of hallway in an old concrete building. The lights were fluorescent and horrible, casting bright white beams down. Kate closed her eyes and pulled her hat down to cover her face.

Alexis's pale face was imprinted on the backs of Kate's eyelids. They'd both come so close to death, with Alexis' wounds and Kate almost running into the patrol of trucks when trying to create the diversion. Tossing the flares had been a good idea, but Kate hadn't expected to nearly round the corner into the trucks they'd been hiding from. She'd never been so close to dying. Watching as Alexis bled out in the helicopter had taken years off Kate's life. She'd been so afraid of letting Alexis in, but Kate couldn't imagine losing Alexis after so much had happened and not being able to tell her how she really felt.

She knew she and Alexis had built what they had in the most extreme of situations. But it felt real. So very very real.

The general fear, anxiety, and pressure of the previous days condensed in on her, and she bent forward, put her head between her knees and sobbed. The pain wrenched out of her, washed down her face, and soaked the fabric of her pants at the knee as she wiped them away, trying to stop the tears all together.

Kate had been saved, rescued and brought back in one piece all due to Alexis's navigation, ideas, and guidance. Yet, Alexis was the one lying in an operating room fighting for her life. The pressure was overwhelming, and Kate just took deep breaths, letting it all out, feeling the fear and guilt leave her in waves. She'd done all she could and had gotten Alexis into the helicopter. All she could do now was wait until the doctors came out to update her.

So she sat, steeped in anticipation, and waited. Her nerves clawed at her. Eventually, a nurse came out and Kate jumped to her feet, wringing her hands.

"She's touch and go. We have her stabilized enough to fly her back to Palstein. She'll need to be taken directly to their intensive care unit, but I think we're out of the woods, as long as nothing surprising happens."

Kate couldn't believe her ears. Alexis was most likely going to be okay. Any strength she had left fled her, and Kate collapsed down into her chair. Sobs rose and Kate felt relief spread through her.

"Can I take the same bird home with her?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course, dear. We had one waiting for your return. The flight crew is checking its status now, making sure it's all fueled up and ready to go. Shouldn't be long now."

Overwhelmed, Kate just let the tears roll down her face and stayed silent, waiting for the medical transport team to bring Alexis out so they could board the plane. The nurse left and returned sometime later in total silence to set a box of tissues next to Kate's left foot before retreating once again.

Kate snatched up a few tissues and hid her face in them, blotting the tears and hoping to stop any more from falling.

The medic from earlier came up and extended an orange soda to her. "Drink this and stop crying. I spent all that time rehydrating you. You wouldn't want to just cry it all out again."

Laughter bubbled up in her throat, and Kate burst into a mixture of hysterical laughter and tears. They'd survived, Alexis was stable enough to fly, and they'd be on a flight back home within the next few hours. The emotional rollercoaster was just too much for her, and she took the soda and drank it down. Resting her head back on the wall again, Kate thanked the medic for making her laugh, then promptly passed out from sheer exhaustion and relief.

Doors banging open woke Kate from her restorative sleep. Alexis was being wheeled out on a stretcher, and Kate got her first look at her since they'd been separated. Wires poked out from underneath her gown and hooked to the heart monitor that beeped steadily, if a little slowly for Kate's liking. Several different bags of meds hung from Alexis' IV pole, and Kate could see a large bandage that went from her elbow, and disappeared underneath her gown, reappearing at the neckline, and the rest was hidden under the fabric. The damage appeared extensive, but she looked much more stable than she had when they'd been in the helicopter.

Face drawn in exhaustion and slack in slumber, Alexis eyes were closed, and she was completely immobile. The doc waved at Kate, indicating she should walk with them.

"She's stable. I've got her knocked out with meds. Should last most of the trip, and if she starts to wake up, they'll put her back to sleep until she gets into the operating room in Palstein."

The doc wiped his brow and continued. "As I said, she's stable, but the pain will be miserable in the air. It's better that she sleep through the flight."

Kate nodded in understanding. She couldn't imagine how intense the pain must be.

"Any major arterial damage or muscle loss?"

He shook his head. "Nothing I couldn't tie off for repair later. Shouldn't be any substantial damage long term as long as the repairs hold until she gets to surgery. All right, that's all I have for you. Get out of here. They're waiting to load you two up."

"Thank you for saving her!" Kate yelled as she turned and jogged to catch up with Alexis's stretcher, dragging her IV pole along with her. Her two medics from earlier were waiting at the plane for them.

The medic pointed at her stretcher, tucked in a rack on the plane by itself. "You don't have to lie down the entire way, but you at least have to sit in your rack. If you're going to sit, wear the belt harness. You won't be falling down on this aircraft while you're under my care."

Kate gave the girl a smile. "Yes ma'am. I'll be good, I promise."

She promptly sat on her rack and belted in, pleased that she had a view of Alexis rack, which hung one down from her, with space for her nurses on either side. It was soothing to listen to the nurses chatter about Alexis's stable vitals, and Kate fell asleep sitting up before the plane even took off.

Alexis didn't wake up before they reached Palstein. She had stirred once, and her nurse had administered more medication, immediately putting her back to rest. Kate was grateful they weren't making her remain awake and in pain.

When they landed on the tarmac with a jolt, Kate waited anxiously as they taxied, then the door of the plane lowered. The transport bus arrived, and Alexis's team immediately began unloading her stretcher and hustling her toward the bus. Kate tagged along behind them with her medics. They'd stopped trying to tell Kate what to do and had just taken to monitoring her in silence.

They arrived at the hospital, and Alexis was taken off again, wheeled away for the final stages of her repair surgery. Kate was hopeful that they'd be able to fully restore the circulation in Alexis's arm. Before she could follow Alexis and wait for her to get out of surgery, her medics stepped in front of her. Kate sighed, knowing that they weren't going to let her off the hook anymore.

"Okay. Tell me what you want, and then I'll tell you what I need."

With a smile on her face, her medic shook her head in exasperation. "I already talked to Colonel Williams. They're going to put her in a double. You're under a forty-eight hour observation period. So in order to get you to cooperate, I've had them put you in the same room. As long as Lieutenant Cole is okay with that when she wakes up from surgery, you'll be able to remain there."

Kate was astonished and struck silent. She was so grateful.

"Tell me what you need me to do," Kate said, feeling guilty for being so difficult.

"We're going up to the ICU. I'm doing a full evaluation on you, taking labs, administering fluids and meds, and giving you another meal. If you have any symptoms of disease, infection, or injury, I want you to tell me immediately. If you don't cooperate, I'm going to have Colonel Williams come down here and yell at you herself."

Kate chuckled. "There's no need. I'll comply willingly. Sorry for being such a pain in your ass. You know what it's like, trying to keep a patient alive even if it's the last thing you do. You've got to see it through."

The male medic chimed in, finally breaking his silence and holding a hand out waiting for a fist-bump in return. "I hear that. Thank you for bringing back a lost sister."

Kate scanned his face and noticed he had striking resemblance to Alexis. His Native American heritage was clear, and he, too, was sporting an almost out of regulation mohawk type haircut. She fist bumped him back but shook her head.

"I didn't do it for entirely unselfish reasons. I'm not sure I'd be the same if I lost her." Emotion crept in, and her voice cracked at the end as she choked on a silent sob.

"Doesn't matter to me," he said as he gently steered Kate toward the ICU. He kept talking, ignoring that Kate was crying, letting her have that shred of privacy.

"When you and Lt. Cole didn't come back from the retrieval, your friend Bowie told us what happened. He said you patched them all up, and without you, none of them would have survived. Andrews's concussion was a lot worse than they expected, and Cassidy's shoulder almost suffered internal amputation. If you hadn't repaired it, he may have lost total use. Then, when you were separated in the desert, you kept Lt. Cole alive through one of the worst injuries I've ever seen in my ten years as a combat medic. She's lucky she's not going to lose the arm. And that's all because of you, Lt. Cross. Here we are. This is your room."

Kate was silent, letting his words sink in and soothe the raw ache in her heart as tears cascaded down her face.

"Now, little sister, I want you to be quiet and go to sleep. We're going to check you over, and your doctor will be in soon to join us. Understood?"

Kate nodded, walked to the bed, stripped off her torn, dirty clothes, and got on top of the bed in just her bra and panties. They poked and prodded her, checked her head to toe, gave her some sleep medication, put food in front of her, and told her to eat and sleep. They'd assured her Alexis would be brought up to the ICU once her surgery was finished.

With nothing to do but follow directions, Kate ate an entire plate of bland hospital food, surprised to find that it wasn't as good as the meal she'd had in Iraq, and passed out in her hospital bed, more exhausted than she'd realized.

People filtered in and out of the room, flowing like water. Kate was unaware of what was happening. She slept lightly, ignoring them when they came to draw blood and take vitals. It was only when they brought in a tray of food that Kate stirred. Her appetite had returned, and she was ready to eat.

As the girl in scrubs set down the tray on Kate's table, she asked for another tray to be brought in.

"I can do that. I'll be back in a bit. You want the same thing, or want me to bring you something else?"

Kate shrugged. "Surprise me."

The girl laughed, turned, and left. Kate opened the top of the container and found mashed potatoes and roast beef with a side salad. Her mouth watered, and she tried to remember to eat slowly and breathe in between bites.

When the girl returned, Kate saw that her name tag said Lacey . "Thank you so much, Lacey."

Lacey smiled in return. "No problem. Your room has a phone, so if you need anything else, just dial our number. It's next to the receiver."

Kate smiled. "Thank you."

The second tray had chicken strips with a side of fries, and a second plate with a cup of steaming tomato soup with a little plastic lid and a grilled cheese cut into triangles. On the side there was chocolate pudding and two Gatorades. Kate ate it all, happy to be full. Before long, she dozed, only waking when the sound of a bed's squeaking wheels brought her into consciousness.

Alexis's bed was being rolled in by a few people in scrubs. A nurse trailed behind them, reading off information from the blue medical chart in her hands. The other nurse in different colored scrubs followed her, taking in the information and making notes on a small writing pad. Kate watched as they chattered to each other. The two who'd been pushing the bed plugged all of Alexis's monitors and pumps in, hung fresh IV bags, and left the room.

From where she sat, Kate could see Alexis lying in her bed, sleeping peacefully. Her color had returned, and she no longer looked ashen. As someone with richer copper tones skin, Alexis's pale complexion from blood loss had terrified Kate.

The O.R. nurse handed the blue chart to the other, turned, and left. A severe looking nurse approached Kate's bedside.

"She should wake up in a few hours. Probably needs the sleep. If I'm not mistaken, you need some sleep, too. I'm going to check her over and then leave you guys be. Call if you need anything."

She pointed to a red button on the side of Kate's bed. Kate nodded but said nothing. Contented, she just watched Alexis sleep. Before long, she drifted off, too.

Kate woke to find Alexis stirring, beginning to awaken. She checked the time and realized they'd slept almost all day. It was past six in the evening. Pressing the red button on her bed, Kate called in the nurses.

Two women in scrubs came in, and Kate smiled at them. "She's waking up, and I think we're probably going to need two or three food trays for the two of us. I don't think she's eaten in three days."

The nurses smiled back at her. One went to Alexis' side, and the other turned around and went to the desk to call for dinner. Kate watched as the nurse gently woke Alexis, murmuring softly to her and asking her questions. She checked her vitals and monitored her breathing, and Kate could hear the gruff murmured responses from Alexis. She hadn't realized Kate was there yet, so Kate tried not to leap out of her bed and overwhelm her.

"Your food is going to be here in a bit, so just take it easy until then. If you aren't feeling up to eating, then don't try. We can get you a smoothie or something to drink and start on food in the morning. If you have any questions, just hit your button and I'll come in."

Alexis's nurse turned to Kate, and nodded at her. "Keep your eye on her. She should be okay to eat. I'm not anticipating any problems, but if she doesn't react well to the anesthesia, she may get sick and throw up. No way to know."

A slurred response came from Alexis's bed. "I'm not a little puss--." She coughed. "Sorry. I mean, I'm not gonna get sick. Just a little of the good stuff. Never hurt nobody."

Kate laughed. "What did you give her?"

The nurse grimaced and chuckled. "Morphine. They wanted to give her Ketamine, but before she went into surgery she woke up and said something like, ‘Don't give me that ketamine shit. I don't need a trip to see my ancestors again so soon.'"

Laughter burst from Kate's chest. "That sounds like something she'd say."

There was a grumbled response from Alexis's bed, but it wasn't an actual sentence, so the nurse shrugged, turned on her heel, and left. Kate dropped her feet to the floor and crept the few feet between them. She lifted herself onto Alexis' bed to sit at the foot, tucking her legs underneath her. She grabbed one of Alexis's ankles to anchor herself and to have tangible proof that she was warm, alive, and breathing.

Kate groaned as tears threatened to spill again and looked up with tears swimming in her eyes to see Alexis's piercing blue eyes studying her. Alexis tried to sit up, wincing in pain, and Kate scooted down the bed toward her, filling the space Alexis left as she shifted to give Kate more room.

Alexis's good hand rested on the bed, and Kate reached out and took it into hers. She lifted it to her mouth and kissed the back of her hand and her tears spilled over. Kate tucked her chin to her chest and hid her face behind Alexis's hand. Kate wasn't sure if she could ever let it go.

"Come on, don't cry. Not for me." Alexis's words were still a bit muddy, indicating her pain meds were still working.

"I can't help it. We almost died. You almost died. I almost lost you." She choked off at the last word, unable to continue.

"But you didn't, Kate. I'm still here."

Alexis freed her hand from Kate and swiped away her tears with her thumbs.

"I'm scared. I've been scared of getting attached, Alexis. But when I saw you in the helicopter fighting for your life, I realized that I'm more afraid of losing you, that we'll never have our chance."

The adjustable bed had a button to raise the head so Alexis could sit up, and she raised it slowly, pulling herself into a sitting position.

"Come here," Alexis commanded.

Kate tried to say no, but Alexis wrapped her arm around Kate's waist with her free hand and pulled her toward her lap. Afraid she'd hurt Alexis by leaning on her wound, Kate relented and sat in Alexis's lap, leaning toward her good side.

"Tell me again."

At first Kate didn't know what she meant, but after a beat, she realized Alexis wanted her to admit she loved her.

Kate raised her hands to cup her face and drew her close, their eyes locked.

"I'm fucking scared. I'm pretty certain I'm in love with you, and it terrifies me. But I think if we don't try, it would be the worst mistake of our lives."

Her arm pulled Kate closer, and Kate crossed the last two inches between them and took Alexis's lips with her own.

"You didn't leave," Alexis said, her voice shaking.

Confusion rolled through Kate. "What?"

"You didn't leave me in the desert when I asked you to, Kate."

Kate drew back, the words throwing her off balance.

"No. I didn't. I wouldn't, and I never will. You're kind of stuck with me now."

Kate didn't expect the tears that rolled down Alexis's face.

"I've had everyone I've ever loved taken from me. Watching you refuse to leave made me realize that I can't keep you at a distance. I don't want to keep things casual or just be friends. I love you, Kate."

She swiped at Alexis's tears. "Don't cry. It's okay. I know."

Her head shook, eyes pinched shut, tears rolling down her cheeks, she rested her forehead against Kate's chest. "I've never done this before. I've never felt like this or wanted to be someone's person. But I want it with you. I don't know what to do, but I'll do anything I can to convince you that we work."

Kate threw her arms around Alexis's shoulders, careful not to disturb the wound covered with many layers of bandages.

"You don't have to convince me. We work. I know it."

"Promise me you won't do any dangerous shit like that ever again. If someone says to leave them, you have to listen."

Kate shook her head in exasperation. "Fine, I promise that if anyone other than you orders me to leave them in mortal danger, I will leave."

Instead of responding or arguing, Alexis leaned forward and took Kate's mouth with her own. The relief of being safe and mostly intact overwhelmed them, and after a few minutes, Kate chuckled and had to start batting Alexis's hands away.

"Cool your jets. We're in a hospital, and I'm sure someone will come in to check on you at any moment."

Alexis shrugged and reached for Kate, gently grasping her neck and stealing another long kiss that had Kate gasping for breath.