10. Alexis

Chapter 10

Alexis

T he road to recovery was painful. The shoulder injury she'd sustained in battle had seriously taken a toll on Alexis' mobility. The doctors were going to put her into aggressive occupational and physical therapy, to get her as close to back to normal as possible. The injury had Alexis questioning what she would do if the injury was too severe to heal completely and she wasn't able to return to her job as a Combat Rescue Officer. The doctors said they genuinely didn't know if the injury was too extensive, and that only time would tell. It petrified Alexis, who'd come to believe that it wasn't just what she did—being a Combat Rescue Officer was who she was.

Kate hadn't left her side since she'd been released from the hospital, and Alexis hadn't adjusted to her presence at all. It was a special kind of torture for Alexis to be so physically weak but surrounded all day by Kate, who stayed just out of her reach. The doctors had refused to let Alexis go home alone, and they told her she either had to have someone stay with her, or she'd have to go stay with a friend. Kate hadn't even hesitated to volunteer, and Alexis was being inundated with all things Kate.

They'd decided to stay at Alexis's house, since Kate lived in a house off base and Alexis's was in the neighborhood on base. It was much closer to the hospital, and Kate hadn't wanted to go too far, just in case they needed to take her back.

Alexis had tried to tell her that she'd be fine, but Kate had insisted. She didn't mind having Kate in her space, but she wasn't used to it. Kate's clothes were in her hamper, her soap in the shower, and her scent wafted through every room in the house. It was like the longest game of foreplay she'd ever played, constantly seeing Kate flitting around to take care of her, grab water, or clean the house. She wore these yoga pants that had Alexis losing her mind.

Her mobility was still limited, as her doctors were giving her pain medication and didn't want her stressing the wounds too much. She was allowed to walk, shower, sit, and lie down. Anything else was considered too strenuous. Every time Kate came near, her scent tantalized Alexis's senses, but before she could reach out and pull her in, she had flitted away.

The house had two bedrooms, and Alexis had a massive couch that served as a bed when she had too many guests over. She'd never had anyone else stay with her but the occasional friends after a party, and they'd all been men. Alexis had told her to pick whichever room she wanted and told her she could crash in her bed.

"I need to be on the couch. My bed frames are three feet tall."

Kate's eyes had widened, and she'd rushed down the hall to check. Alexis heard Kate yell from across the house.

"Holy shit! How am I supposed to get up there ?"

Alexis had chuckled to herself and collapsed backward onto the couch as gently as possible. "Little Lieutenant."

She'd had every intention of talking things through with Kate, making sure they were on the same page. However, she'd passed out before Kate had finished checking out the bedrooms.

The next day she'd woken up to find a note next to her head.

Alexis,

I'm headed to the grocery store. If you want anything, just text me. I put my number in your phone.

Love always,

Kate

When Kate had come back, ready to cook her breakfast from scratch, Alexis had forgotten her thoughts and hadn't found the right time to bring it up since.

It had been about a week, and Alexis was gaining some mobility in her shoulder. The physical therapy appointments always left her sore and irritated, and that day had been no different. Kate had brought her back home, given her an ice pack, and told her to go take a bath.

Alexis sat in the tub flicking water with her fingers, staring at Kate's rose shampoo. There was a light knock at the door and Kate opened it a crack and peered in.

"Can I come in?"

Alexis smiled. "Absolutely."

She was covered in bubbles and was grateful for it. The wound hadn't healed entirely, and Alexis's shoulder looked mangled. The scarring was unavoidable, and Alexis wanted to start telling people she'd been mauled by a bear. Better story than taking almost a full clip in the shoulder in the sandbox.

Kate came in and sat on the floor next to the tub with her legs crossed. She rested her arm on the side of the tub and flicked at the water, mirroring Alexis' movements.

"What's up, babe?"

A smile came to her face at the endearment. "I want to talk about us. See how you're feeling, make sure we are on the same page."

Concern stirred in Alexis's chest. "You haven't changed your mind yet, have you?"

Kate's eyes widened. "No. Absolutely not. I just know you said that you've never done this before. I haven't been with anyone in over five years and my last girlfriend died. I figured good communication was the place for us to start."

Relief spread through her, and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Okay. So, where do you want to start?" Alexis felt a bit awkward, unsure how couples normally went about confessing their feelings.

Kate chuckled at her. "It's okay, don't feel pressured. I just want to know what you're feeling. Are you sick of me being here? Do you need a little more space, or is there anything I'm doing you don't like? I know I brought a lot of my things with me, but--,"

Alexis interrupted Kate by grabbing her hand and sitting up to lean in close.

"Don't go. I don't mind your things being here. I actually kind of like it. I think, more than anything I'm just scared you're going to change your mind or decide it's all too much. Then when your things aren't here anymore and you're gone…" Alexis trailed off with a shrug and emotion clogged her throat.

"I'm not emotionally tough, Kate. At least not when it comes to love. I think you'll probably have to help me through it."

Kate's free hand reached out and cupped her cheek. She leaned in and captured Alexis's mouth with her own, running her tongue along the seam of Alexis's lips.

A small frown appeared, and Kate's voice sounded vulnerable when she asked in a whisper, "You haven't changed your mind about me either, have you?"

Alexis didn't know if the question was hard to ask, but the guilt she felt at making Kate feel unsure was poisonous lead in her gut making her mouth taste like acid.

"Oh baby, no. I haven't changed my mind. I want to be with you. And only you. I promise that if I change my mind, and I definitely won't , I'll tell you if that's the case. I won't just leave you wondering and in the dark."

Kate's eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I feel bad, making you change your lifestyle to be with me."

Alarm ran through Alexis, and she had to abolish whatever fear lived in Kate that made her feel that way.

"No. Listen to me, Kate." Alexis lifted the hand of her bad arm to join it with her other one and grasped Kate's hands in her own. The pain was intense, but she ignored it. Kate's eyes drifted to meet hers, and Alexis went on.

"I chose not to have relationships because I was afraid of getting attached and losing people. I'm already attached to you, and unfortunately for you, I'm not letting you go without a fight. I only lived that ‘lifestyle' because I was lonely and wanted to fill some of the void. With you here, that void is already full."

Silent tears ran down Kate's face. "I hate crying. I feel like all I've done since we've met is cry."

Alexis sighed. "Baby, that's because you bottle things up and then let them all out at once. I bet you hadn't cried in years before this. Eventually this wave of intense feeling will fade. It's okay to let it out and feel the emotions as they're happening to you. You're only human, despite your efforts to be superwoman."

Kate laughed and cried for a few more minutes, chatting with Alexis about her injury, and then a calm sense of peace settled over them.

"What are you going to do if the injury doesn't heal?" Kate asked, bringing Alexis back to the present.

"I'm not sure. I've thought about it a lot. I guess I'll apply to teach at one of the CRO locations. There's plenty of positions open in the schoolhouses for nurses and CRO's, and we'd be able to be stationed together. Or I can just follow you wherever you go. Maybe I'll take up painting. Or sculpting. I've always wanted to learn how to carve my own tools out of wood."

Her gaze lingered on Alexis, and Kate watched her with intensity. "You'd do that? Take a low-risk assignment and teach? To stay with me?"

Alexis reared back, confused. "Of course I would. There isn't an assignment I wouldn't take if it meant I got to stay with you. I love you, Kate. I want to have a future with you."

A tear rolled down Kate's face. "I love you, too."

"Now, open that window so we can see the sun go down, and then get in the tub with me. I promise I'll be good and keep my hands to myself."

Laughing, Kate stripped out of her clothes, pulled open the window, and climbed into the tub. She sat between Alexis's legs and leaned her head back on the uninjured side of Alexis' chest.

The sun was lowering over the small mountain ranges in the distance. The sky was painted in pinks, yellows, oranges and blues. Kate and Alexis watched the sun go down over the horizon and held each other close, just grateful to be alive and to be together.