11. Scarlett

For Scarlett, the time after the locker room incident passed in a haze of emotional turmoil and uncertainty. She avoided Gianna at all costs to the point of diving into the nearest available room when she saw the other woman down the hall. It was all too much to process. Her mind was a blur of repressed feelings, her intense attraction to Gianna, the sense of having been deceived or tricked, missing the connection and safety she'd felt with the anonymous EmergencyKisses. She could hardly think straight through it all. Her emotions were raw and jumbled, and she didn't know how to deal with any of it, so she didn't.

Instead, she focused intently on work. Surgery after surgery filled her days with grueling precision, driving the confusion and worry out of her mind with hard labor. One complex case after another, until her mind was exhausted and empty and her body cried out for rest. The surgical floor praised her talent and dedication as she made remarkable strides toward perfect success rates in procedures ranging from basic to highly complex. Her presentation and interview with the board was coming up the following week, too, and in her downtime, she meticulously prepared a perfect, flawless plan for how to organize the entire department moving forward, including staff training.

There was no time left over to think about Gianna. Just as intended. Still, whenever she did think of her—which was pretty often since their offices were right next to each other—her stomach clenched unpleasantly, and guilt flooded through her. During the few surgeries they had together over those two weeks, they didn't speak at all. Scarlett was too ashamed to approach her, and Gianna gave her nothing more than the curtest, most necessary responses.

It was awful. Their professional relationship had always been tense, but in a heated, passionate, intense sort of way. Now, it was ice cold, like a switch had been flipped, and Scarlett found herself missing Gianna's easy laugh, the light teasing in her voice, the warm amber of her eyes. Their eyes would lock during the procedure occasionally, and Gianna's gaze was hard, angry, full of bitterness and resentment. Then, the second it was over, they'd each retreat to their own corners without another word.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of it was. Her world had turned upside-down somehow, and she had no idea where to even start to fix any of it. The longer they stayed silent, the worse the nagging sensation grew. Like something important was slipping from her fingertips before she could even get a chance to hold on to it.

Now, Scarlett was on her way to work, forcing her mind to stay busy and making mental notes for what to include in her presentation. That was what was important right now. She was having dinner at her parents' house later, and she wanted to get their input on some key points of the deck. They were both seasoned healthcare administrators. If anyone was capable of identifying gaps in her methodology or blind spots, to help her figure out what the board would be looking for, it was them.

As she parked her car, she briefly glanced up and spotted a gorgeous blonde who had become painfully familiar over the last few weeks. Gianna's ex-girlfriend, Jade, who had so cruelly cheated on her and then showed up out of nowhere to cause all kinds of drama. It seemed like she was popping up everywhere now. Gianna couldn't really be foolish enough to fall for whatever charms that woman possessed again? Not after everything that happened?

It filled Scarlett with a strange sort of guilt. EmergencyKisses had often talked about feeling lonely and unwanted. Did Gianna really yearn so desperately to be loved that she would settle for someone who had treated her so poorly? Day by day, Scarlett felt more like she had made a terrible mistake in jumping to those conclusions so quickly. In assuming the worst.

No. She didn't have time to worry about that. She sighed and began gathering her bag and various items she'd need for her day, preparing to exit the car and start her shift.

Just then, Gianna came walking out of the hospital, headed towards the statuesque blonde in the thigh-high boots. Scarlett felt herself sink into her seat, not wanting to be seen, but unable to pull herself away from watching their interaction. The two women talked for a few minutes. It looked intense, with a lot of gesturing and nodding, hands on shoulders, affectionate gestures. Scarlett bit her lip, trying to keep down the awful feeling of jealousy that rose up within her. That should be her comforting Gianna, telling her that everything was okay, pulling her in to be close and show how much she cared.

God. What a ridiculous thought. No, of course it shouldn't. Should it?

She watched helplessly as Gianna leaned in to kiss Jade. Her chest felt like it was about to explode with pressure, an indescribable emotion surging through her and threatening to burst forth in a scream. It was a short, chaste kiss, but still, Scarlett felt like she was going to pass out. The kiss was followed up with a long, intimate embrace. They just stood there for what must have been at least a full minute, clinging to each other in the parking lot, their bodies pressed together in a tight hug.

Finally, they parted ways, Jade climbing into her car while Gianna crossed the parking lot and headed inside their workplace. Scarlett let out a long sigh of relief. Okay. Nobody had seen her. This was all fine. No problem. She let herself fall back against the driver's seat, closing her eyes and trying to calm her racing pulse. She took a minute to breathe slowly to get herself under control. She had work to do. Focus.

With that, the redhead pulled herself together and headed inside. The hospital was busier than usual today, so she was able to just slip past and be absorbed into the steady stream of professionals hurrying to their offices or surgeries without being noticed. Thank goodness.

The first half of the day left her too busy to think about anything other than saving lives. A few surgeries back-to-back, followed by emergency consults and other patients whose conditions had changed rapidly. She ate lunch between appointments, barely touching her food while she combed over detailed case studies on her tablet. It wasn't until eight hours into her shift that she had five minutes to sit down in the on-call room and take a deep breath.

Just as she did so, Carla strode into the room, greeting her with a bright smile. The older woman looked as stressed and worn as everyone else, the normally cheerful attitude replaced by weariness and fatigue. She collapsed gratefully onto one of the beds in the empty room, exhaling sharply.

"My goodness, what a day!" the cardiology director exclaimed. "It's like every disaster in the book happened all at once today."

"Tell me about it," Scarlett agreed tiredly. "Getting excited to get out of here?"

Carla laughed jovially, straightening herself up. "I will be, as soon as I know for a fact that my department's going to be in good hands after I leave," Carla teased, winking at Scarlett. "But that's all a formality now. Don't tell anyone I said this, but as far as I know, as of this morning, it's just about settled."

Scarlett's eyebrows shot up at that.

"Oh? The presentations aren't until later this week," Scarlett commented. "What did I miss?"

Carla raised an eyebrow at Scarlett in response, tilting her head and lowering her voice conspiratorially.

"Well, I can't say too much, and you didn't hear it from me," Carla began, "but from what I'm hearing, your only real competition just withdrew their application. As long as you go in there and deliver a solid pitch, the job's as good as yours."

Scarlett stared blankly at the other woman, completely speechless as her brain processed the words she was hearing. Her. Cardiology Director. Her, the youngest department head in Rose Bay history. It was everything she'd spent her whole life working toward, and now, it was within her reach. Practically already hers. But—

"What? Why would Gianna withdraw her application?" Scarlett asked in disbelief.

That didn't make any sense. Gianna had been prepared to fight tooth and claw for this. In their anonymous conversations, EmergencyKisses had talked at length about how much it meant to her to be recognized after spending her whole life struggling against a deck that was stacked against her. She was the first person in her family to go to college, and she worked twice as hard as everyone else to succeed. Scarlett had worked her whole life for this, yes, but so had Gianna. It didn't feel right or fair to win that position by default.

Carla just shrugged. "Can't say I know," she replied easily. "I'm glad she did, though. Doctor Rodriguez is an excellent surgeon and is probably going to make an excellent leader someday, but she's been here, what, five minutes? I've seen you work your way up since you graduated med school, Scarlett. You deserve this more than anyone."

The praise felt hollow, and the unease just sat in Scarlett's gut like a leaden ball. Gianna deserved more than a token effort. More than being dismissed just because she wasn't as established at this particular hospital. The woman had been hired practically the second she submitted an application because she had spent a decade as a leading surgeon with an impeccable track record from Sweet Hill, arguably one of the best hospitals in the country. It suddenly didn't sit right with Scarlett that she should be anyone's favorite for the job just because Carla knew her better.

"Do I?" Scarlett heard herself say. "Gianna is an incredible doctor, and the whole department likes and respects her. She's innovative, dedicated, incredibly gifted, and driven."

A tiny frown appeared on Carla's forehead at that.

"Well, absolutely," she conceded, "and if she hadn't withdrawn her application, I'm sure the board would have struggled to decide between the two of you. But she did. You're still here, and so you're still the main candidate. You worked hard for this, Scarlett. You deserve this promotion. I can't wait for everyone to see just how fantastic a leader you are and how much you've grown."

Scarlett nodded vacantly. It was nice to get support and encouragement from someone she looked up to, but this didn't feel right. Gianna worked just as hard as she did. What would possess the brunette to pull her name out of the hat like that?

Was it her fault somehow? Guilt stabbed at her stomach. Gianna had been tense, cold, and stand-offish ever since their fight. Like there was this huge weight that had settled on her shoulders and was pushing her into herself. Had Scarlett's reaction triggered that somehow?

"Well, anyway, I've got things to do, and so do you," Carla added with a grin, pushing herself off and brushing off her lab coat. "Congratulations, Doctor Miller. I'll be keeping an eye on you, even after I resign. I'm excited to see what you do."

"Yes, thank you, Doctor Anderson," Scarlett replied with a polite smile.

The older woman headed for the door and slipped back into the busy hallway, leaving Scarlett alone with her thoughts. There was this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had won. It had all come together perfectly. She was going to become the youngest cardiology director in the history of Rose Bay Hospital. Everything was going right.

So why did it feel so wrong?