10. Gianna

Gianna had never been so shell-shocked in her life. The entire interaction had felt surreal. She tried to sweat if off with some intense cardio, and then proceeded to bury it for most of the day due to a hectic hospital shift that required most of her attention. Still, it was there in the back of her mind the whole day, creeping in whenever she had a second to breathe or a quiet moment between tasks. Even if she could avoid thinking about what happened, though, Gianna felt the sting of betrayal like a slap in the face.

All the way home, it gnawed at her. The interaction replayed over and over again in her mind like a bad dream she couldn't wake from. The sheer panic and terror in Scarlett's hazel eyes, the disbelief and horror painted on her delicate features. The realization that all this time, the person Gianna had been chatting with had been this enigmatic, difficult-to-read, stuck-up colleague who barely tolerated her.

DrHeart was sweet, patient, a little lost and confused, full of self-doubt and inexperience, always ready to lend a kind ear and a gentle voice. The thought that this person might be Scarlett Miller beneath that composed exterior was utterly disconcerting. Honestly, it made Gianna's heart break for her a little bit. Did she ever get a chance to be herself and feel comfortable being that way? It must have been a huge source of shame and distress for Scarlett, who was always so completely in control and untouchable. More than anything, it made her want to give her redheaded coworker a big hug and tell her that everything would be alright. To just let her be vulnerable.

Except for the fact that Scarlett had reacted like a wounded animal and lashed out in a fury, spitting fire and venom at her and accusing her of playing games. It hurt. It hurt to be accused of being manipulative and cruel by someone she had let herself be honest and vulnerable with for months, albeit anonymously. It hurt because it was Scarlett, too, and despite everything, Gianna respected her colleague. She wanted her approval, even though their interactions didn't always show it. It just hurt.

She curled up on the sofa with Cocoa, soothing herself by petting the big, lazy tabby's fluffy fur. He purred loudly at the attention, pushing his head into her palm with enthusiasm. The thoughts wouldn't go away, though. Did she really come across as such a callous, scheming snake? Did people really think so poorly of her? Especially Scarlett? Sure, they didn't always see eye to eye. They argued a lot. But did her colleague really think so little of her that even after months of sharing their most intimate thoughts and feelings anonymously online, Scarlett could still look her in the face and believe that she would toy with her like that?

The ring of the doorbell startled her. She wasn't expecting company tonight. She had another shift tomorrow, so she was planning on staying in. Still, she drew herself up off the couch and wandered over to the door with Cocoa trailing closely behind.

"Jade?" Gianna asked incredulously as she opened the door and saw the blonde leaning against the door frame, smiling ruefully at her.

"Hey, Gigi," Jade greeted, flashing that radiant smile of hers. "Mind if I come in?"

Gianna blinked in confusion. Their dinner had gone really well, and they'd spent a lot of time talking while Jade filmed jellyfish and seagulls. But as far as Gianna was concerned, that was it. She'd received an apology, gotten her closure, and now, she was good to move on. She hadn't had any intention of reestablishing that connection beyond that.

Right now, though, she felt horrible and sad and lonely. Her ex-girlfriend was standing there offering affection and companionship, and a part of Gianna was craving that so badly that it was almost painful. It wasn't an urge she could silence easily. When they were good, things were so good. And for a long time, Gianna had truly thought they'd be together forever. She wasn't stupid enough to think that could still happen, but for tonight, she needed someone to make her feel less awful. Like she wasn't just this horrible, deceitful, conniving person. Jade's appearance felt like an answer to a prayer she didn't realize she was making.

"Yeah, sure, come on in," Gianna agreed finally, stepping aside to let the blonde inside.

"Oh my God, Cocoa!" Jade exclaimed immediately upon laying eyes on the orange tabby. "Baby! It's me, Auntie Jade!"

Cocoa blinked once, looked at Jade, and then flopped down, presenting his belly to be rubbed. What a traitor.

"Aw, I missed you too," Jade cooed triumphantly, crouching down to scratch the tabby under his chin.

Once he was satisfied with the attention, the tomcat rolled to his feet and sauntered back into the living room with an air of feline smugness. The two women followed him shortly afterward, and soon enough, they sat on the couch with glasses of red wine and Cocoa draped over both their laps, purring like an engine.

"So what's up?" Gianna asked, glancing at her guest curiously. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, I know. We just got done shooting for tonight, so I figured I'd swing by and see if you wanted to hang out," Jade explained with a shrug. "You know, maybe grab dinner, a movie, something like that?"

The tone in that sentence sounded like more than friends hanging out. It was sweet and a little playful, just the way Jade used to invite Gianna out when they first started dating years ago. Gianna's grip tightened on her wine glass a fraction. This was a bad idea. She knew that this was a bad idea. How could it possibly be anything other than a bad idea?

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Gianna heard herself reply aloud, as if on autopilot. "I'm up for a movie. I've been wanting to see that new space flick. You like sci-fi, right?"

It sure sounded a whole lot better than spending the night by herself wondering why she was apparently completely unlovable. Jade was a terrible girlfriend, but at least she was someone who actually wanted to be around Gianna. Someone who wasn't going to completely reject her after she'd shared all her hopes and fears. Jade, at least, still wanted her. Maybe that would help her sleep. Or not cry. Or something.

The movie was as cheesy as she'd expected it to be. It had gotten terrible reviews for being incomprehensible and badly written, which was exactly why Jade was the perfect person to watch it with. They'd made a tradition of intentionally watching bad movies to laugh at them when they were dating. It was stupid, light-hearted fun, the perfect way to make herself forget the last few days' drama. By the end of it, Jade was choking back laughter, clinging to Gianna for dear life.

It all felt hollow to Gianna. Like play-acting something she knew she would normally find fun, but right now, her heart just wasn't in it. It was just a bad movie with a person who'd treated her horribly. The whole time, she was thinking about Scarlett's furious expression and all those long, loving late-night chats with DrHeart. Those soft moments where they just opened up and trusted each other. The things they'd shared, the support they'd given each other. And the moments of intense desire and playful banter, those conversations that left Gianna breathless and longing for more.

She'd shared her soul with that person. Now that was all tainted and broken because Scarlett couldn't even imagine continuing that connection now that they knew who each other were.

Either way, as the credits rolled, she followed her ex-girlfriend outside and onto the sidewalk, chatting half-heartedly about the movie. She nodded politely as the vivacious blonde animatedly mocked the film's dialogue and special effects, forcing a smile here and there. Her mind was somewhere else entirely.

Her gaze roamed subconsciously throughout the conversation, glancing around at the busy streets and bustling sidewalks. It landed on a tall, slender redhead exiting the grocery store across the street, carrying a bag of fresh fruits and vegetables. Gianna's heart momentarily lurched in her chest. There was no mistaking that stunning, refined beauty and that graceful, deliberate walk. Good God. Couldn't she go anywhere without running into Scarlett Miller?

Scarlett glanced up from her phone at the exact same moment as Gianna, and their eyes met across the street. Gianna froze in place like a deer caught in headlights, unable to tear her gaze away, and the redhead seemed equally paralyzed. For a second, she dared to hope that Scarlett would say something or come over, try to smooth things out, ask if they could talk. Just sort things out, try to figure out what all those confusing emotions between them might mean.

She was distracted by Jade reaching out to take her hand, smiling brightly at her. In a split second, Gianna realized how this must look—and made the impulsive decision to lean into it. She wasn't going to let Scarlett think that she was sitting around moping and crying. No. Right now, Gianna was here with a stunning blonde who happened to be extremely into her, and damn it all, it was about time she let herself be desired again. If Scarlett didn't want her, there were others who did.

So she turned her attention back to Jade and took her hand, giving her a dazzling smile and leaning in close as they began to wander hand in hand. They headed in the opposite direction of Scarlett, toward her parked car, Gianna pretending not to notice Scarlett's frozen figure staring at her with a horrified expression. Okay, so maybe it was petty and juvenile. But she was hurting, and she didn't want Scarlett to know that.

For tonight, this little indulgence would have to do.