Chapter Eleven

‘Hi Mum,' I say standing up from the chair and heading out of Fresh Me Up.

‘Olivia! Thank God. Where are you?'

Oh, oh.

‘What happened, Mum?' I say alarmed that maybe something bad happened to Dad or Nate. She sounds desperate.

‘Naomi called and said you haven't been answering her calls or Lexi's. I also tried to call you a few times and you didn't pick up. I just got here in your flat and you aren't home. What's going on?'

Mother of God!

Mum in my flat is a bad combination. She inspects everything, under the bed and even the bin. She doesn't understand the concept of casual sex, so to avoid raising unwanted questions, I'm always careful not to leave compromising items around the place when I know she's coming over. This time though, I didn't have time to prepare.

‘I went out for a run and was having breakfast at the café across the street, Mum!'

I'm so indignant I almost shout as I stride across the street to head back home before she finds evidence of Luc. I mentally try to remember if Luc took all his belongings today when he left, but then I remember his T-shirt and Polo are somewhere in my bedroom and hurry up. Maybe she's still inspecting the kitchen.

When I open the door she's all over me like an infestation of wasps.

‘Livvy, oh my God,' she's so relieved to see me, I can't even be mad at her. I almost feel bad to think the worst and compare her to a wasp.

I give her a hug and she kisses me on the cheek, possibly leaving red lipstick on my skin. Her perfume is so good and strong it has already impregnated the air, eliminating any scent of Luc that remained.

‘Mum, everything's fine,' I head towards my bedroom, checking on the way for evidence that Luc was here last night. She follows behind me, clinking her heels on the floor. You'll almost never see my Mum's feet in anything but high heels.

‘You know how I get when you disappear like that.'

As soon as I spot my bed made and my and Luc's clothes neatly folded on top of each other on one corner of the mattress, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Shit.

‘Mum, you're overreacting,' I try to pretend it's not a big deal that she has found men's clothes on my bed and head for the bathroom. Not giving her a sign that I know that she knows a guy has been here.

‘Naomi says she's trying to reach you since last night, Lexi too.'

Yeah, I've been ignoring them on purpose, but I hadn't thought it would lead my mum to pay me a surprise visit.

‘Does it have anything to do with your new boyfriend?'

See? That's the reason her surprise visits drive me crazy. I roll my eyes at her as I begin stripping down my clothes and tossing them in the laundry basket.

‘I don't have a boyfriend, Mum,' I say, turning to face her. Her expression is nothing close to amusement, she's genuinely worried and I know exactly why.

‘It's not like you to ignore the girls' calls, so of course I was worried and decided to come over. You know …'

Guilt takes over me for a moment. I can see what she's thinking in her eyes.

‘I know Mum, I know.' I take a deep breath and try not to think about the day Josh tricked me into a conversation in his car, trying to convince me to go back to him. It did not end well. For me.

‘It's been almost three years, Mum. I haven't heard from him in a long time.'

Thank God.

I don't mention the nightmares, how Josh's still pretty much alive in my head, haunting me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking he's in my bed. Some nightmares take me back to fights, to being his girlfriend again. I never have good dreams of him, as much as I try to remember just one positive memory of him, I can't. Even the moments I considered good and happy at the time make me sick now.

‘I know, but you never know.'

‘You're right Mum, sorry,' I give her a comforting smile before stepping into the shower.

She goes to the sink and starts retouching her makeup, our gazes meeting in the mirror.

‘So, do you or do you not have a boyfriend? You can tell me, you know?'

‘I don't have a boyfriend Mum. When I do, you will know,' I say, hoping she'll accept the answer and not mention it again.

‘Right, right. Casual sex, isn't it?'

I almost wince hearing her say it aloud. It's so weird to talk to her about this stuff.

When I roll my eyes, she doesn't press anymore. Instead, she begins to give me all the family's updates. How Nate's new girlfriend's high-pitched voice annoys the hell out of her and that she hopes it won't take long before they break up.

‘You'll meet her today. She talks so much it makes you wonder how she manages to breathe,' she says, making me chuckle under the water.

Then she mentions that Dad got a new car without telling her first.

‘I don't know how many cars your father still needs. He barely drives the ones he already has,' she's putting more mascara as she complains. I don't even think she needs to retouch her makeup, she does it when she's anxious.

My Mum never understood my dad's passion for cars. What he enjoys the most about having vintage cars is spending time and money fixing them, more than driving itself. Truth is, his cars have always been one more way for him to bond with me. I always loved to listen to his explanations about engines, and designs, and special editions.

‘It's different when you're a collector,' I say as I wash my hair, thoughts of Luc from last night playing in my mind.

‘The Walters said you should do dinner sometime soon. I met them in the lift last night,' I say, trying to spare me from the unnecessary family drama, turning the conversation in another direction.

I close my eyes to enjoy the warm water running through my hand and down my face. I direct my thoughts to how warm Luc's body felt against mine, how our bodies fit and moulded each other as we slept.

‘I'll give Beatrice a call soon,' she says, now checking the wrinkles on her face. Once she's done, she checks my cabinet and goes on and on about the anti-ageing products I'm currently using—she's a dermatologist.

I finish my shower and go pick lingerie and something casual to wear. Almost every Sunday Nate and I meet at our parents' house for brunch, late lunch or tea in the afternoon. Sometimes, dinner. Today it's late lunch and tea afterwards. I skipped last week because I was too stressed about presenting my new collection on Monday. So much stress for nothing, really.

I drive with Mum, considering I don't have a car despite Dad's constant insistence that I get one. But I mean, a car in London when I mostly work from home doesn't really make any sense. So whenever I need to go to their place I ride with Nate or take an Uber.

My parents live outside the city, in a mansion they bought when Dad's business picked up when I was about five. Before that we lived in my current flat. They still keep it as an investment, among several other flats across London. Dad works in construction, so he knows the real estate market well and buys properties that seem attractive.

After Josh, Mum convinced Dad I needed to have my own place and that our old flat would be ideal. Dad didn't really get why I needed to move, we never told him what really happened between me and Josh, if he knew, he'd probably have killed him or died of a heart attack himself. So once the previous tenants left, I moved in. Besides, Josh had never been to this flat. He wouldn't find me easily.

I don't have many memories of the time I lived in my current flat with them as a child. But I know they were always close to the Warners. And I also remember Mrs. Thompson, when she was younger and her husband was still alive. She used to give me and Nate lollipops, and sometimes she would even babysit us.

The big house is where I spent the rest of my childhood and my teenage years. It was nice growing up out of London. We had enough space to play, to throw big parties, to have our dogs, to have all our friends over. Nowadays it seems empty and quiet, except for when the Golden Retriever family we have are barking at and running after the birds in the garden, or Dad turns on one of his cars' engines to find out some sort of problem.

I'm greeted by Zeus and Athena—our Golden Retrievers—in the garden, which takes quite a while, at least until I've given them enough attention for them to find the next interesting thing. Then I finally manage to get inside the house.

‘Hey, Dad,' I say as I come into the living room to find him sitting on his favourite chair, a leather brown one by the window, reading newspaper with black framed glasses on and watching TV at the same time.

‘Hello, love,' he smiles and holds his arms wide open to me. ‘You're skinnier than the last time.' There goes his worry that I don't eat enough.

‘Dad. No, I'm not,' I roll my eyes at him. I sit on his lap and give him a kiss on the cheek. I haven't stopped greeting him this way even though I'm twenty-six, it has always been like that. We have always been close.

‘What are you watching?' I ask.

‘Wimbledon,' he says.

‘Hmm. Tennis?'

‘Yes. I'm hoping Moretti will kick Papadakis' ass,' he says. I have no idea what he's talking about.

‘Boring,' I say, standing up. ‘I'll go check what's for lunch.'

#

Before Nate arrives and lunch is served, I text Naomi and Lexi on our group chat.

Today at 1:04 pm

Me: You guys, I'm alive, ok?

Me: There was no need to call my mum, she showed up in my place and was freaking out.

Lexi: Oh my God, Livvy. Where were you?

Me: Slept at home, woke up and went for a run then had breakfast at Fresh Me Up …

Naomi: Why didn't you reply to our texts or answer our calls?

Before I get angry because everyone sometimes treats me like I'm a helpless lost child and to avoid further discussions, I swallow my pride and text again.

Me: Sorry guys. Won't happen again. Thanks for worrying about me, but everything's fine.

Lexi: Where are you now?

Me: Family lunch

Lexi: Call us later then.

Me: I will, I'm dying to know what happened with Lewis last night…

Naomi: A lot my friend. A LOT happened.

Me: emoji with heart eyes

I can't hide from them forever, so I start to play excuses in my head before the call, preparing myself to lie and not be discovered. Now that things have escalated from a simple thank you dinner into Luc staying the night and having breakfast with him in public, there's no chance in hell I'll tell them the truth. How will I even explain that I asked him to stay? And that we didn't even have sex?

‘Hey, sis.' It's Nate, overly excited to see me, followed by a, wait, a brunette? I can't believe she's Thea, his new girlfriend. I've never ever seen him date a brunette before.

He notices my surprised face, but in his eyes I read a perfectly clear ‘shut up'. When he hugs me he quickly whispers, ‘Don't mention it.' Sure thing. I'll keep it to myself until the next opportunity I have alone with him.

‘You must be Thea,' I say giving her a hug.

‘And you must be Livvy,' she says with a strong southern American accent. I give Nate another stare, raising my eyebrows and widening my eyes at him. This must be the reason why Mum's been complaining about her voice. She speaks as if she's singing, and it doesn't help that her voice is high-pitched.

‘It's really nice to meet you, Thea,' I say.

Behind Thea's back, I see Mum rolling her eyes.

‘Thank you, it's finally nice to meet you too, Nate talks a lot about you.'

‘I bet he does.'

I raise an eyebrow at him, making him grin like a naughty child.

When lunch is finally served on the big mahogany table in the dining room, Dad asks why Mum went to pick me up in London when I could have driven with Nate and Thea. While she makes up an excuse—something about she needing to stop by a friend's nearby—Nate's studying me. I avoid his gaze. He can tell we're hiding something. I'm glad Thea is sitting beside me making conversation non-stop. Boy the girl can talk. If she ever marries my brother Mum is going to wear invisible cancelling noise earplugs every time she visits.

‘Nate told me you design lingerie,' she says in a low voice, so she doesn't interrupt my parents' discussion, which now is about whether I should or shouldn't get a car. Again.

‘I do,' I take a sip of the refreshing watermelon lemonade.

‘Do you think I can get an exclusive one?' she whispers, half covering her mouth with her hand, such a girlish thing to do. I can't help but laugh, she looks so innocent and she doesn't even seem to care.

‘Yes, of course.'

It's not the first time I've gotten this kind of request, especially not the first time from one of Nate's girlfriends. Even though I find it awkward that my brother will be having sex with someone wearing one of my designs, for some very strange reason I don't mind if it's with Thea. I like her. Or maybe I just like how my brother looks happy around her.

After lunch we linger around on the couch, watching TV, discussing politics and cars with Dad, the most recent anti-ageing treatments with Mum and eating a bombastic caloric cake, which, as my Mum always says, on Sundays it's ok.

I drive back home with Nate and Thea. She talks during the entire ride, telling me how she ended up in London after getting a job offer as an architect. She works with one of Nate's friends, who introduced them. All the while, Nate watches me in the rear-view mirror as I sit in the back. I've never seen him want approval of a girlfriend so much, but apparently he concludes I've approved of her by his satisfied smile at me in the mirror. I, in fact, like her. Mum, I'm not so sure.

Nate parks the car and gets out to talk to me before I head back home.

‘Hey, did something happen?' he asks.

‘What do you mean?'

‘You and Mum seemed to be hiding something from Dad today. And why did she pick you up, really?'

Nate is like a danger detector, ever since Josh happened in our lives.

‘Oh, that? It's because I kind of didn't answer the girls' call last night and today in the morning. Naomi got worried and called Mum, so she appeared at my place freaking out.' I roll my eyes. ‘You know how it is.'

‘Hmm. And where were you?' he insists.

‘Don't give me that stare, Nathaniel.'

It's the doubtful one.

‘So you aren't telling me?' he asks, folding his arms over his chest squinting at the sun, the light turning his eyes even greener.

‘Tell you what? There's nothing to tell.'

‘Sure.'

‘What about you? A brunette, huh?' I tease him, before he makes me confess about Luc.

He laughs, shyly. ‘Do you like her?' he asks.

I'm glad my question gives this conversation a whole new direction.

‘She talks a lot, but yes, I like her. But I think you shouldn't care if anyone else likes her, the important thing is how you feel about her,' I say.

‘Did Mum say something to you?'

‘She might have mentioned a thing or two, but you know Mum. She always has a lot of opinions,' I say, hitting his chest with my fist.

‘Yeah, yeah. Well then, I guess I'll see you next weekend,' he says, giving me a hug. I hug him back.

#

As soon as I get home I video call the girls, but I make sure I'm doing something other than talking to them so it's easier to lie.

I decide I should organise my closet, even though I don't need it. I'm spraying my favourite vanilla fragrance on the lingerie and they both question me about the hours of my disappearance. They do believe me when I say I was focused working on my new designs and went to bed at the wee hours—it's a common excuse of mine anyways—woke up late and went for a run. I tell them I didn't answer my phone because I was too busy cursing at my boss and the next day I was simply too tired to talk about my rage. I guess organising my closet worked, because they totally bought my excuse. I tried not to talk looking at the screen, I'm not that good at lying.

‘Next time you can write us something like "don't bother calling, I won't answer you",' says Naomi.

‘Yes, ma'am,' I promise. ‘Now, tell me about last night. Did you get to show off your new lingerie?'

Naomi grins, a gleam of naughtiness in her eyes.

‘Oh, you have no idea,' says Lexi, who by now already knows more details than I do.

‘Was it as good as expected?' I ask, curious, making myself comfortable on the couch in the balcony.

‘Better. But I have a confession to make …' says Naomi.

Lexi and I wait anxiously.

‘I hesitated before going all the way,' she says.

‘What do you mean you hesitated? I thought you were crazy about him,' I say.

‘That's exactly why. I don't remember the last time I was on a date and didn't mind not having sex right away. I mean, it was just for a brief moment. We ended up going all the way, but still, this time felt different somehow. It's as if I was afraid he just wanted a one-night stand and be like all the others, you know?'

‘Wow, I'm shocked. You really like him,' I say.

‘I think I do.'

I'm so happy for her. Hearing her confessing something like that almost makes me confess about Luc. Almost. It also makes me compare her hesitation to his.

I'm glad I hold my thoughts until the call ends.

With my feet propped up on the railing, I grab a book and begin to read. I'm in a good mood. I enjoy the breeze and the fact that there's still daylight. I'm thinking of him, actually I've been thinking about him the whole day, plagued by last night's and this morning's shared moments. Right now I'm wondering if he's going to show up tonight when I hear someone at the door.