Chapter Ten

From his sharp tone and the way his hand is raking through his hair, I can tell the conversation he's having is serious. I don't know how much longer he's going to be on this call. I want to give him some privacy, and debate whether I should go to my room or sit on the couch. I decide for the latter, it's not like I can understand much of what he's saying.

I make myself comfortable between the cushions, propping my feet on the coffee table. I can't help but watch him. It's almost midnight and who can possibly be calling him at this hour on a Saturday night?

‘Margot, je sais. Mais … non, non. Est que tu peux au moins essayez?' It sounds like he's begging.

I wonder who this Margot is. My guess is, it's work. It sounds a lot like work to me. But on a Saturday night?

Once in a while he glances my way and his eyes smile at me, but his mouth keeps on talking. At some point, I lay down, my eyelids are getting heavy and the delicious scent emanating from his Polo all over me is soothing.

‘Hey,' I hear his voice, low and sweet. His hand slowly skimming my arm up and down, gently forcing me to open my eyes. I guess I drifted for a few minutes.

Luc's kneeling on the floor.

‘Hi,' I say. His face is so close to mine, I can't help but lift my hand to touch it. He welcomes the touch, leaning his head onto my hand. His mouth curves into a boyish smile. He looks vulnerable, and his skin is hot and flushed.

‘I'm sorry it took so long,' he says, guilty.

I don't say anything, because I'm still trying to figure my emotions out. While he was on the phone and before I fell asleep, I kept on thinking about what he said, about him not wanting to be a one-night stand.

‘I should go,' he says, after a long moment of silence.

The disappointment I'm feeling can be added to the emotions I'm trying to interpret. I wish he would stay. I never ask or let any guy stay the night, especially when we didn't even have sex, but I was hoping he would stay. Is that insane? Somehow I can't get enough of his presence, or the way he makes me feel, which I can't yet put into words. And so I do what I never do, surprising even myself.

‘Stay,' I say.

It might be because I'm sleepy, but right now I don't want anything more than for him to stay.

‘Are you sure?' his voice is raspy. A smile tugs on his lips as he brushes my bangs off my face.

‘Yes,' I whisper.

He helps me up from the couch, I take his hand and lead him to my bed, turning off the lights on the way. He tucks me into his chest where I can hear his heart beating against my ear. He interlaces his fingers through mine and I can feel the calluses on his skin. When I look up I see him watching me in the dark, though I can tell he's already half asleep, as comfortable in my bed as if it were his own. Right now he looks satisfied and relaxed, exactly how I feel. I realise that that's exactly what I needed, and it worries me.

#

I wake up sometime in the middle of the night. It's still raining outside, I can tell by the water drops running down fast on the window glass reflected by the lights coming from outside. I watch him sleep, deeply and peacefully. His breathing makes a little soothing noise. Though it's dark, my eyes are adjusted enough so I can see the shape of his perfect nose, his lips parted.

I raise my hand and touch the tiny little hair growing along his jaw and chin. Asleep, he puts his arm around me and tries to spoon me, but I'm facing him. His sleepy eyes open and look right into mine. I turn my back to him so that now he can effectively spoon me, our warm bodies complementing each other.

To me, there is nothing normal about this. The way he makes me feel so comfortable around him when we've only just met, me accepting an invitation to dinner, cooking for him, and letting him stay the night and sleep on my bed and lying about him to my best friends. This is all different from everything I've known since I left Josh, heck, of everything else I've experienced. I haven't done any of this with the guys I had sex with in the past three years. I have never let any of them get this intimate, and I also never allowed myself to get this close to someone. Why I'm letting it happen now is a mystery I can't decipher.

Of course, I had no deadline planned for when I'd finally let anyone get this close to me again, I just didn't expect it to happen anytime soon. In fact, sometimes I wondered if it ever would. I worked hard to close the walls around me in the first year after Josh. Yes, because there was me before, during and after Josh. There was the naive and unexperienced girl of before, the abused and deceived of during, and the woman who knows she deserves better after. Almost everything that can go wrong in a relationship, I had it with Josh, and considering he was the only serious relationship I ever had, I don't know what can go right in one.

Letting Luc occupy all this empty space I have in my life in a matter of days, naturally, makes me feel out of control. And not having control scares the shit out of me, because controlling is the only way I know to protect myself from hurting inside and out.

All these thoughts are playing tricks on my mind, sabotaging the way I truly feel right now, a kind of bliss that I experience when I'm around people that care about me and I care for in return. I shut my eyes and try to tell myself it's going to be okay.

Now it's too late to undo this.

#

Unexpected sunlight is cutting through the window. It doesn't even seem like it was pouring outside just a few hours ago. Luc's still asleep beside me. I study him sleeping, the light touching his bare chest, his body half covered by the sheets we shared last night. I look at the clock on my bedside table and it says it's already 9:00 am. My stomach growls, begging for food, something that can provide my body more energy to start the day.

I don't wake him when I leave the bed. I head to the bathroom and brush my teeth, on the way, I spot his pants on the floor. I smile to myself thinking of how we fell asleep last night.

When I return to the room, he turns to his side, moving his handsome face away from the sun. I watch him from where I'm standing, sighing as my mind travels back to touching his body last night, feeling the warmth of it, enjoying what that mouth and hands can do to me.

Still wearing his Polo, I head to my closet to pick lingerie, when I slide the door he mumbles something in his sleep. I choose a champagne silky set of bra and briefs embroidered with peach flower ornaments and put it on. I love how it hugs my body. I look at myself in the big mirror on the front of my closet and I'm happy with my choice. I smile for no reason in particular, and it feels weird and unforeseen. In the mirror I notice his eyelids fluttering and the moment he opens his eyes.

‘Good morning,' he says, wiping his eyes with his knuckles.

‘Morning,' I say, turning to face him with a smile.

There are lines on his sleepy face and he holds back a yawn.

‘Whoa, that's a lot of lingerie,' he says as he glares at my open closet, then at me.

I laugh. I'm aware of his eyes on my body. We hold each other's gaze for a moment. There's some kind of intimacy that wasn't there before.

‘What time is it?' he asks, seeming a bit lost sitting up on the bed and smoothing down his messy sexy hair that's sticking up in random places.

‘Around 9:30?'

‘What?!' he doesn't take it well. ‘Merde. I gotta go.'

I'm pretty sure he just swore in French. He might be really worried about something by the way he says it and how fast he gets up from the bed.

‘Got somewhere to be?' I ask watching him walking towards me in a hurry, spotting his morning erection.

‘Yeah, sorry. I should have woken earlier.'

Seems as though, as me, he also likes his routine. Despite the hurry, he grabs me by my hair and his mouth takes mine in a hell of a good morning kiss.

Wearing nothing but white Calvin Klein boxer briefs—for my absolute despair—he heads to the bathroom fetching his pants on the way. He finds his phone in the pocket and takes it.

‘Putain,' he admonishes it.

He puts his pants on quickly, then splashes water on his sleepy face. I enjoy it all from my point of view by the bathroom's door frame. He comes to me, presses me against the frame, sucks on my neck and whispers, ‘Up for a run?'

What?

‘Right now?' I smirk in surprise.

‘Meet you back here in half an hour?'

‘Deal.' There's no way I'm saying no.

His reply comes with a smile, then a kiss on my lips.

He then quickly heads towards the door shirtless and holding his shoes. One hell of a sexy scene to watch on a Sunday morning. The thought that I almost fucked him last night right here on the kitchen island sends electrifying waves through my body.

#

I go change into sports underwear and put on running shorts and a tank top instead. As I tie my hair back into a ponytail in front of my bathroom's mirror my phone vibrates with a call from Naomi. I don't answer it. I wait until she gives up. But before she does it, she tries two more times. I feel like the worst friend in the world ignoring the girls' texts last night.

I'm pretty sure Naomi wants to share about her date with Lewis—and trust me, I'm dying to know too. But right now I can't possibly talk to Naomi, not if I don't want to tell her anything about Luc, which would lead her to know that I lied yesterday, and not when he's all over me in every way and everywhere. She will immediately recognise in my voice that I'm hiding something. I turn on the silent mode and go put my running shoes on.

I'm about to open the door when I hear Luc knocking.

‘Hey,' I open the door to a sporty version of him, the one that always has a cap on; right now it's backwards. I don't ask him why he left in such a hurry if his only plan was to go for a run.

‘Hi, Olivia,' he says pulling me into him and crashing his mouth against mine. The kiss lasts longer than it probably should, and it's a fierce version of a simple hello kiss, but I'm not complaining. He walks backwards taking me with him. Eventually we break apart and he presses the lift button. We kiss one more time before the car arrives, then again once we're inside.

‘What have you done with my focus?' he stares down at me with questioning sexy eyes and frowning eyebrows. He seems serious about his question.

I beam at him, because I can't possibly know the answer to his question. I confess it makes me feel good knowing I make him lose his focus, even though I'm not sure on what.

Before we share another kiss, the doors open on the ground floor. As soon as we're out, he turns his cap forward.

We do some stretching in front of the building and start running alongside each other checking our watches turning on the running mode. I always run alone, if you don't count the time he caught up with me a few days ago, so I'm not used to having someone beside me to keep a similar pace or to talk to.

We run a total of seven miles, taking the route to the Thames and around the Royal Botanic Gardens. I try my best to keep up with his pace as he effortlessly waits for me.

At some point during the run it finally occurs to me to ask, ‘You know, I've been meaning to ask but it never comes up … what's your last name? Since you already know mine I figured I should also know yours.'

He smirks, drying the sweat from his forehead with a tennis wristband he has around his wrist.

‘Are you going to look me up on social media?' he grins glancing at me sideways.

‘I'm not on social media.'

‘Is that so?'

I nod. He seems surprised.

‘It's Lamaire. Lucas Lamaire,' he looks at me as if waiting for some kind of reaction, when I don't react to whatever he's expecting, he puts on his trademark amused grin. I seem to get that a lot from him.

‘What?' I ask.

‘Nothing.'

We keep running, mostly in silence but very much aware of the other's presence. Once we reach our street again we don't even ask each other whether we should get a smoothie, when our eyes meet after hitting stop on our watches, we know we're going in the café.

I hadn't had anything to eat before the run and my stomach has been complaining since I woke up this morning. I'm glad that instead of just ordering our smoothies to go, he asks me if I'd like to have a full breakfast.

We pick a table by the window in the far corner of the café, on the cosy green velvet couches. It's still quiet, which is no surprise considering it's before 11:00 am on a Sunday. We study the menu and place our orders with Lesley, whose eyes are fixed on Luc. I watch to see if he reacts to this in any way, he doesn't. She's staring nonetheless, with a not innocent smile on her face, it's annoying.

I clear my throat so she can pay attention to my order, and not to the handsome sexy as hell man sitting across from me.

‘Oh, hi there, didn't notice it was you,' she says, seeming genuinely surprised to see me.

Hi there? Doesn't she know my name by now? She has envious eyes for me, her smile fading instantly at the sight of me.

‘I'll have the omelette with champignons and rocket, a glass of water and the same smoothie as always,' I say.

‘Which one is it again?' she asks.

Luc snorts, his beautiful blue eyes almost hidden under his cap staring at me in contentment. Even he can't believe she still doesn't know my order.

‘Same as his.'

‘Oh, ok.'

God, why is it so difficult to remember it?

She makes the order on the device she's holding in her hands and stands there watching us, more precisely watching him. I can almost see the drool on the corner of her mouth.

‘That will be all, thanks,' says Luc, making it clear she can leave us alone now.

When she turns her back, he smiles at me, his eyes tightened in amusement meeting mine. I can read so much in those eyes, there is some kind of inexplicable chemistry with the way we can communicate to each other by just staring. It's absurd. When did that start?

Once our order arrives, I'm glad Lesley doesn't stick around to join us, though I'm sure that's what she'd want. She didn't even look at me when putting my plate in front of me. I'm impressed by how Luc handles this harassment, kindly dismissing her with a friendly smile and immediately turning his attention back at me.

‘Why were you in a hurry today?' I ask him.

‘Huh?' he lifts his gaze from his food.

‘You seemed in a hurry earlier today …'

‘Oh, yeah. I was supposed to meet my brother but he had already left.'

‘Sorry about that.'

‘What for?'

‘Making you late?' I say guiltily.

‘Not your fault,' he gives me a reassuring smile.

‘Does that have anything to do with me making you lose your focus?'

‘A little.'

I love how his eyes smile when he says it.

‘Oh, really?'

He replies with a wink and goes back to his food.

I'm entertained by watching him eating. Sunlight's touching his eyes, turning them into an exotic shade of blue, popping even more on his perfect face. I can't get enough of them. He still has lines from sleeping. With me. On my bed. Why do I feel like I just slept next to a man for the first time? Everything feels intensified this morning.

He pulls out his phone and aims it at me.

‘What are you doing?' I ask embarrassed, unconsciously tugging on my ponytail.

He grins and says, ‘Taking a photo of you.'

‘What for?'

He holds his phone up closer to me so I can see for myself and waits for my reaction.

I look at the photo on his screen and there's nothing I haven't seen before. It's just plain me, after a run. I glance up at him curious to know what he thinks it's so special about it.

‘What is it?' I say.

‘That's your I-want-to-fuck-you face.'

Oh God.

I flush, letting out an unexpected laugh. That's not what I was expecting.

‘May I keep it?' he asks with a boyish grin on his beautiful stubbled face.

‘If you promise not to sell it to a porn website, go ahead.'

Now it's his turn to laugh.

‘Ahh Olivia …' he sighs.

His expression is of someone who's imagining or daydreaming about something they are longing for. He bites his lower lip and I'm certain of what he's thinking about, because it's just what I'm thinking about too.

Our moment is broken by something he sees on his phone. His face, suddenly serious, turns to look out at the street through the window.

It's Jules, Daniel, and Maurice walking towards the café. This makes Luc uncomfortable and unsettled. I wonder why they're always together, I'm guessing it's just the fact that they're staying at the same place. Also, why would his teenage brother be on a business trip? Maybe he's just in it for the fun to be in London.

‘I might have to go now,' he says gesturing to Lesley who's behind the counter, that he'd like the check.

In the meantime the guys enter the café and are coming our way.

‘Maurice, Jules, Daniel, this is Olivia Charlton,' says Luc once they're hovering over us. The way he introduces us is as though he didn't want to share me with them.

‘Hi Olivia, happy to officially meet you, I'm Jules,' says his brother with a wide smile.

‘Nice to meet you, Jules,' I say shyly. I wonder how much he knows about me and Luc. Not that there's much to know.

‘Hi, Miss Charlton,' says Maurice politely. I immediately get that he isn't excited about the encounter. What I don't get is why he uses my last name. The way he's staring at Luc tells me he's cross with him. Maybe he's Luc's boss?

‘Hey, Olivia, I'm Daniel,' says the slim blond guy, who seems to be about Luc's age.

‘Are you ready to go?' asks Maurice, intensifying his displeased stare at Luc, now completely ignoring me.

‘Yeah. Let me just …' Luc begins, but it's interrupted by Lesley who's attentively and excitedly waiting for his command like a little puppy.

Luc stands up and gives her his credit card. I begin to protest, but he mouths ‘I got this.'

While Lesley and her device process the payment, Jules winks at me and says, ‘Bye, Olivia,' and turns to follow Maurice who's already at the door waiting impatiently for the Lamaire brothers. Daniel's already outside on the phone.

Luc comes to me with a hypnotising gaze and whispers in my ear, ‘Sorry, I gotta go. Will I see you later?' and faces me waiting for a reply.

I nod and he smiles. He holds my face with one hand to plant a warm kiss on my cheek and disappears to the street following the others. I watch them as they cross the street back to the building, Maurice is talking and gesticulating at Luc, while he seems to be trying to explain himself about something. My attention drifts to my phone and an incoming call from my Mum.