Chapter 29

A Little Groveling Wouldn't Hurt

THREE WEEKS LATER...

The black Explorer waiting in the passenger pickup lane outside of baggage claim was easy to spot. Noah headed straight for it. About ten yards away, the rear cargo door opened automatically, and he threw in his duffel and suitcase.

"Thanks for picking me up," he told Eric, getting into the back because Val was in the passenger seat up front.

"I bet you're beat," his friend said quietly, waiting for him to buckle up before pulling into traffic.

"You have no idea. Thirty hours ended up being forty-two because of delays and weather."

Val twisted in her seat. She didn't speak, just stared at him. Okay, maybe glared was more accurate.

"Something you wanted to say?"

"Yes, but there's so much of it I'm trying to decide what to do first. Chew you a new one for breaking Fiona's heart then flying off to the other side of the world where I can't have Eric beat your—"

"Valerie!" her husband, who she was using to threaten him, snapped.

"Sorry," she muttered, clearly not meaning it.

"What was the other choice?" Noah asked.

"Apologize."

"I'd go with that one, like we discussed," her husband advised, while navigating the stop-and-go traffic surrounding one of the busiest airports in the world.

"I shouldn't have pushed you into a match with Fiona, Master Noah," Val stated. "I feel awful about how it turned out—"

"As you should," her husband interjected.

She paid him no mind, continuing coolly, "But if you weren't emotionally available, you should have never agreed."

"Valerie, my love. You should have quit after ‘I feel awful.' It's my fault for agreeing to your scheme. We have a rule against matchmaking for a reason—it often blows up in everyone's faces." Eric's gaze met his in the rearview. "But you're not exactly innocent in this. You never should have slept with her. She was your assignment, man. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, obviously."

"You were," Val stated matter-of-factly. "Just not with your brain."

Eric braked for a red light and turned to her. "Are you done? Or must I get the gag out of my toy bag in back?"

"I'm done," she said, but her eyes told a different story. She was in guardian mode, and he had squashed the heart of one of her subbies.

"Neither of you is wrong," Noah conceded. "I shouldn't have gone there with her. But she was the first one since Claire who made me want to try again. Then things hit too close to home."

"How so?" Val asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Probably. Because you're stuck, Master Noah."

"I know. I'm messed up," he exclaimed, rubbing his face in frustration and exhaustion. "Fiona is probably better off without a head case like me, but I plan to go home and apologize, on my knees if I have to, then make an appointment with her therapist tomorrow." He dropped his hands and asked what he'd been wondering for the past three weeks. "Where is she, by the way? I've texted and called her. I even tried the landline at my condo, but she never replied, not that I blame her."

Val and Eric exchanged a tension-filled glance.

When she twisted to face him again, she stated, "As I see it, there are two pressing issues."

Impatience seeped into his voice as he drawled, "And they are?"

"Well," she hesitated, patently stalling, "a couple really shouldn't share the same therapist."

"That's no problem. Just refer me to someone else."

"She's dragging her feet afraid to tell you the bad news," Eric advised.

"Fiona moved out of my condo," he guessed. He'd have preferred she hadn't, but that wasn't insurmountable.

"Not only that..." The sad look in Val's eyes made it evident that, despite being angry with him for his treatment of her friend and fellow sub, she'd prefer not to tell him the rest, so it must be really bad news. "She left for San Antonio the night you flew out. She's staying with Lexie and Jonas..."

Three states away wasn't good, but again, not hopeless. He sensed there was more, however. "And?" he urged, quickly running out of patience.

Her husband came to her rescue. "She quit her job at the clinic, and, from what Jonas told me, she isn't planning on coming back."

"Turn the car around," he demanded.

Eric glanced at him in the mirror. "What?"

"Take me back to the airport. I need to catch a flight to Texas. Now."

"You're not serious. You just spent two days flying in from Africa."

He didn't care. "Take me back," he repeated, dead serious.

When Eric slowed for another light, Noah put his hand on the latch and opened the door, prepared to walk. The interior lights came on.

"Okay! I'm going! Just shut the damn door." He signaled for a right turn, muttering, "Between rogue doms, disobedient subs, and serial killers and their accomplices infiltrating my club, all hell has broken loose. I'm going to be white-headed before I'm forty-five."

Val reached out to stroke his arm.

"And you!" Eric exclaimed, shaking it off. "You've gone as rogue as him. When we get home, expect to experience a little bleed-over."

Noah didn't know exactly what that meant but he could guess. They weren't master and slave, even though Val called him that most often, but he was the master dom for a reason and no doubt had limits to what he'd put up with from his subbie wife in day-to-day life.

Val didn't seem overly concerned. She murmured, "Yes, master," then twisted in her seat again. "I'll find another lifestyle-friendly therapist while you're gone. Do you prefer a man or a woman?"

"Surprise me. But I have a question for you, as a woman and a submissive."

"Ask me anything."

"How do I win her back?"

"You've dug a deep hole for yourself. I spoke with Lexie, and these few weeks haven't been easy on her. The apology you mentioned is a good start. But while you're on your knees, a little groveling wouldn't hurt."

"Valerie!"

She swung her head toward him so fast, her ponytail swished around her shoulders. "What? It worked on you when I screwed up so badly early on."

"After I spanked you—hard," he reminded her. Eric's eyes met his again. "Is that on the table?"

"I'm no switch, but I really fucked this up. I'll do whatever it takes."

Val's nose wrinkled in distaste. "I don't know. A heartfelt apology on your knees, yes. If she makes you sweat a little while doing it, even better. But Fiona isn't the type to relish bending you over her knee, even if you broke her heart. That's just not... No."

Eric reached over and squeezed her thigh. "I get where you're coming from. You and Fiona aren't switches, either. What if she enlisted a domme to do it, or a master who was willing?"

"Now that's a thought."

Noah leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, listening to them plot his punishment with more relish than he would have preferred. With the master dom and the subbie guardian combining forces, his ass didn't stand a chance.

If it got Fiona back in LA, in his arms, his bed, and his life—this time permanently—as he said, everything was on the table.

First, he had to convince her to forgive him, and prove that giving him a second shot, after fucking up worse than ever in his adult life, was worth it.

RECLINED ON A CUSHIONEDlounger, the sun streaming in through the windows of the solarium, Fiona hoped its rays and the boost of vitamin D it would give her might pull her out of her funk. She doubted it, but she had to try something. Having her moping around the house and bursting into tears every other minute was probably getting really old for Lexie and Jonas at this point. After all, it had been twenty-three days since she'd arrived in San Antonio, a pathetic weeping mess.Her memories following the slamming of the door were foggy, and she still wasn't sure how she'd gotten there.

With her butt and legs half asleep from sitting on the unyielding hardwood for two hours, Fiona staggered down the hall. Halfway to the living room she had to sidestep a bunch of debris on the floor. Squinting at it through bleary eyes, she saw white powder and chunks of what looked like sheet rock.

When she switched on the light, she saw it was sheet rock from the fist-sized hole Noah had punched in the wall. It explained the loud bang, but not his reasoning. He wanted her gone, and she was going.

Utterly lost and never more miserable, Fiona retrieved her phone and called the only person she could rely on in the world.

It rang twice before Lexie answered.

With tears pouring down her face, Fiona choked out, "I n-need my b-best friend."

She didn't hesitate a fraction of a second before asking, "When does your flight get in?"

"I haven't gotten that far."

"Book it and text me the details."

"Thanks, Lex."

"Don't even," she replied. "Just tell me one thing."

"What?" she said with a shuddering breath.

"Will this require me asking my husband to kill him?"

Fiona made this bizarre noise, a mix of laughter, tears, and a sad, pitiful moan, which proved she was a hot mess emotionally.

"You don't have to answer. Get here, Fi. Then we'll deal with the rest."

Somehow, she'd packed, scheduled a flight out, and gotten to the airport on time.

In San Antonio, when she saw her friend, she collapsed into her arms. "I'm an idiot. They told me not to fall for him, but I did, Lex. I did so hard."

Jonas had already put her bags in the back of their Denali when Lexie squeezed her into the third row, and, with little Jeremiah in the second, peacefully sleeping in his car seat, followed her in.

A shadow passed over her. Putting her hand up to block the intensely bright South Texas sun, she squinted up at Lexie standing over her, holding Jeremiah. She yanked on the cord, and her earbuds slipped out.

Lexie picked up her phone, looked at the screen, and grimaced in disgust. "‘Torn'? Seriously, Fi. Why can't you listen to something cheerful?"

"I am. Until today, it was ‘Without You' by Harry Nilson and ‘I Can't Make You Love Me' on repeat." She retrieved her phone and swung her legs over the side of the chaise, sitting up. "Besides, sad breakup songs are supposed to help mend a broken heart. They've done studies."

"How's it working for you so far?"

"It's not." She noticed the flower she held. "What's that?"

She held it up, along with an envelope, while bouncing and jiggling Miah who was starting to fuss. "I'm not sure I want to give it to you."

"You have to. Tampering with the US mail is a felony."

"Not if it didn't come in the mail."

"Lex!"

"All right," she replied, handing over the single, long-stemmed pink rose and plain white envelope, although she didn't look or sound happy about it.

Accepting both, Fiona examined the letter-sized envelope, flipping it from front to back. There wasn't an address, postage mark, or stamp, only her name.

"How was this delivered?"

"In person, by Noah."

"He's here? In Texas?" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and heading inside.

Lexie caught her hand. "He left. I was feeding Miah and couldn't get to the door."

She looked down at the earbuds dangling over her shoulder, the reason she didn't hear a knock or the doorbell. "Do you think he wants me back?"

"That's my guess after flying 1300 miles to get here."

She collapsed onto the lounge with a weary sigh, her emotions a jumble of disappointment and relief. "Maybe it's best I didn't hear the door. The way I feel, I'd have done something stupid like dropping to my knees at his feet and professing my undying love for him."

"Only to have to go through what you have these long, excruciating three weeks when he does it again? No, Fi. I couldn't bear to watch it. You'll have to be strong if only to spare me."

She stared down at the envelope. "I don't know if I can open it."

"Good. I'll throw it out."

Fiona jerked it away when she reached for it. "Don't hate him, Lex. I should, but I don't."

"I try not to hate anyone. But I strongly dislike a man who professed to care for you then walked out just days after a serial killer cut you and threatened to—" She stopped mid-rant short of saying the awful R-word and took a deep breath. "You don't need me to tell you what that animal did. Neither does Noah, since he had to sit and watch. Suffice it to say, he will never be my favorite person, and I'd be deliriously happy if you never saw him again."

With curiosity eating at her, Fiona broke the seal on the envelope with her thumb.

"Do you want me to stay?" Lexie asked, jiggling and bouncing a now red-faced-and-crying Miah.

"Go see to him. I'm okay."

"No, you're not," she shot back loudly to be heard over the racket the baby was making. "But I'll be right inside if you need me."

"You're the best, Lex. Thanks."

When she was alone and it was quiet enough to think, she slid out the tri-folded sheet of paper. She didn't recall ever seeing Noah's handwriting before. Like most physicians, his scrawl wouldn't win a penmanship contest, but it was also neat and deliberate, as though he hadn't quickly jotted it off but had taken his time with it.

Fiona,

There is no excuse for how I left things with you. I can't express in words how sorry I am for that. The nightmares may have clued you in that I've been struggling. Seeing you with a knife to your throat brought back some things from my past. I was trying to work through it on my own and clearly not doing a good job of it.

Again, no excuse.

The time away, including eighty plus hours spent on planes and in airports, gave me time to think. It made me realize how much I want you in my life. I hope I haven't eliminated that possibility because I don't want to lose you.

Call me, please. I'd like to see you and talk more.

Noah

She read through it several times before Lexie returned without Miah. It was his nap time.

When she sat next to her, Fiona passed her the letter.

"We all have baggage," she said after she finished reading. "What we don't all do is act like an asshole and bail on people we supposedly care about."

"He apologized, Lex."

"Yeah," she acknowledged quietly. "But what's stopping him from turning asshole again the next time he's triggered?" She gripped her hand. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Fiona admitted, totally conflicted because she loved him, but he'd wrecked her.

"Good. Let him stew in his dominant juices as you mull it over," she suggested.

Fiona nodded then leaned into her friend and rested her head on her shoulder. Lexie immediately wrapped both arms around her in a side hug.

They sat in silence for a long time before she asked, "Why does life have to be so hard?"

"I wish I had an answer for that," Lexie replied. "Some people go through a rough patch, whereas I traveled a nearly three-decade long pothole-ridden road and frequently asked myself the same thing. I convinced myself it would always be like that. Then, one day, it stopped being hard."

"Because of Jonas?"

"Yeah. There's a good man out there for you, honey."

"What if it's Noah, and I don't take him back?"

"Then you move to San Antonio near your BFF. We have a lot more to offer than LA. You could get a job in a minute and buy a house three or four times the size of your apartment at half the price. And we have a Club Decadence, too. The original."

"I can't even think about that."

She released her and said with a crestfallen look, "But we're supposed to go to LBD night tomorrow. It's my first time back since Miah was born. I had it all planned. I was going to introduce you to the girls, and we were going to trash talk Noah Richmond as we downed pitchers of the best margaritas in Texas."

"You hate tequila."

"True. You have margaritas. I'll have lemon drops. But you can't desert me."

"I'm not sure I'm up to it."

"Of course. I understand," she allowed. "I won't push if you don't want to go, but you could keep to the lounge. Jonas can make sure none of the doms come near you, only me and the girls. You wouldn't want to miss Elena performing. She sings a lot of sad songs. It drives Dex crazy, but her fans love it."

"We'll see."

"Yeah." She gave her a motherly kiss on the side of her head. "I'm going to marinate the steaks for dinner. And you're going to eat. I swear you've lost ten pounds since you've been here."

"That's the only positive I can see about a breakup. It's great for the waistline."

"Yeah, but we're nipping that in the bud. Even Jonas noticed."

She disappeared inside, leaving her staring at the letter, which she reread three times.