11. Amory

Amory is conflicted and concerned. Blake missed work today. She was coughing all morning and all throughout the night. But even then, it took Amory calling in for her to agree to miss work. Amory goes to work but worries about Blake at the cabin. It's strange. She knows that she's angry at Blake and doesn't trust her, but it's hard for her to not care about her. That's why this whole situation hurt her so much—because she cares about Blake, she has strong feelings for Blake even if she doesn't want to admit it now.

She does her job, checking her own symptoms as she does so. She doesn't have a cough or fever or anything out of the ordinary, so she must not have caught whatever Blake has. She hopes that it's just allergies, like Blake thinks, but she doubts it.

During lunch, she checks her phone and sees a text message from an unknown number.

Jenna: Hey, is this Amory?

Amory: Yes? Who is this?

Jenna:This is Jenna. I'm the person Blake was talking to the other day

Amory can't help but this she's about to get chewed out by this woman who is mad at her for sleeping with her partner, even though she didn't know Blake was seeing anyone.

Jenna: Blake gave me your number. She asked me to talk to you

What? That doesn't make sense. Why would Blake want this Jenna girl to talk to her? Why would Jenna agree? This doesn't make sense with everything that's been going on in Amory's head.

Amory: About what?

Jenna: I think you two had a massive misunderstanding. Blake isn't my girlfriend. The only thing we've ever been was fwbs

Jenna: And she ended it as soon as things started with you

Amory: What?

Amory sighs to herself. This is what Blake told her last night, but she really didn't want to believe it. Part of her did, but it all seemed too easy. Now, however, it seems so difficult. Amory may have fucked up, but she doesn't want to admit that to herself. She starts to realize that it was easier for her to believe that Blake never changed than it was for her to admit that she cared about her, that she cares about her, that she might be falling in love with her.

Jenna:Yeah, we were never together. I really don't want a relationship

Jenna: We just used sex to blow off steam. It was never serious

Amory doesn't know how to feel or what to think about this. She feels partially like she owes Blake an apology, but she's so stubborn, she kind of doesn't want to give one. That's so messed up, and she knows it. She definitely owes Blake an apology, if Blake will even forgive her.

Jenna: And Blake told me that she missed work. Is she okay?

Amory: I don't know.

Amory: I'm going to make some soup when I get home. Hopefully it'll help.

Jenna:If it gets worse, you might need to force her to get checked out. She's too stubborn to do it on her own.

Isn't that the truth. How on Earth did the two most stubborn people in the world end up in a cabin together? And more than that, how did the two most stubborn people in the world end up having sex and caring for one another? Amory feels like she owes Blake an apology, but she doesn't know how to give one. She was never any good at giving apologies.

Amory: I will. I'll check in on her later

Jenna: And Amory

Jenna:Blake told me what she did with your old girlfriend, and I'm not saying that you should forgive her, but I know that she'd never do that to you again

Amory frowns at the text message. She's beginning to feel like a real dick. She just assumed that Blake was cheating, and even though she had in the past, she assumed without any proof. She also didn't listen to her when she tried to explain the situation. It's taken another person getting involved for her to finally see reason. How many more people have to talk to her before she grows up and realizes that Blake really isn't the same person she knew all of those years ago?

When Amory is done with work, she walks to the cabin alone. If she's being honest with herself, she misses walking home with Blake. That time when Blake held her hand, before everything blew up, made her stomach tingle and she wanted more. If she can get over herself, she could see her and Blake creating something long term, maybe creating a life together.

Amory truly does want that, but she's scared. She's convinced that Blake is going to do something to ruin it. She thought that she did do something to ruin it, thought that she cheated again. Now that she truly knows the truth, she's still scared, but she's also upset with herself. She never even really gave Blake a chance. She let old hurts get in the way of a potential happiness.

Amory was so terrified that Blake would do something to ruin their relationship, she realizes, that she was the one to ruin it. She supposes they're even now, but that doesn't help relieve the massive guilt Amory feels at how she treated Blake. She was so wrong.

She knows that now, but doesn't know what to do about that, how to make it up to Blake. She walks into the cabin to see all the lights off and Blake sitting up in bed in a coughing fit. She looks miserable, her face is red, and Amory is pretty sure that she's running a fever.

"Okay," Amory says, "that's it, you're going to the clinic."

"I'm fine," Blake says.

"You are not fine," Amory protests, "you're clearly sick. You need to get treated for whatever's going on."

Blake groans and lays back on the bed before she's immediately sitting up again and coughing. Amory doesn't get closer to her, doesn't want to catch whatever Blake has, so she waits for her to finish coughing before she moves forward.

"You can't live like this," Amory reasons. "It hasn't gotten any better, just worse."

"I'll be fine," Blake says.

"You're a doctor for crying out loud! You know that's not how it works."

"It's just allergies," Blake protests.

"If it's just allergies, then you have nothing to worry about," Amory says. "They'll just test you for diseases and infection and if it's nothing, then you can go back to being miserable, but it doesn"t look like just allergies."

Blake doesn't respond, just groans.

"Come on," Amory says, "don't you want to go back to work?"

"I can go back to work tomorrow," Blake states.

"Not like that, you won't," Amory responds. "You don't want to get your patients any sicker, do you?"

That gets Blake to listen, just like Amory knew it would.

"No," Blake says.

"And do you want to get me sick?" Amory asks. She knows she's playing dirty, guilt tripping Blake into seeking treatment, but if Blake won't go to the clinic for her own health, Amory is prepared to do whatever it takes.

"Jenna texted me today," Amory says.

That causes Blake to look at her, excitement and worry in her sick eyes. "And what did she say?"

"If you go to the clinic, I'll tell you when we're done," Amory says.

Blake frowns and narrows her eyes before she groans. "Fine," she says, "just let me get dressed, first."

"Well I wasn't planning on taking you there in your pajamas," Amory says.

"Shut up."

Amory laughs. She's missed this, missed talking to Blake like a friend. She's missed feeling like she's allowed to care about her, and she's missed annoying her while still knowing that Blake isn't truly annoyed and that the two truly care for one another.

This is a lot for Amory to take in. She has tried so hard to pretend that she's nothing but angry at Blake, that she doesn't and has never cared for her. It isn't true, but it was easier. Now, however, there's nothing easy about this. Her laugh turns into a quick frown, and she berates herself for what she's done. How could Blake ever forgive her?

She waits for Blake to get dressed, fiddling with her fingers by the door as Blake goes to the bathroom and gets ready. Amory can hear Blake coughing from here, and she's sure that her cough has gotten much worse. She's worried about her, and she decides to update Blake's friend about what's going on, to give herself something else to think about.

Amory: I'm taking Blake to the clinic. She's not feeling any better

Jenna: Okay. Keep me updated

Amory: Will do

Amory then decides to text her mom. Her mom has always been a comfort. Maybe she'll know what to do.

Amory: I'm so confused.

Mom: What's wrong?

Amory: Apparently Blake didn't cheat on this other girl like I thought

Amory: They were just friends with benefits, but not dating

Mom: And didn't Blake tell you they were sleeping together

Amory: Yeah

That's how this whole mess started, Blake telling her about Jenna, leading to Amory thinking that Blake was cheating on the other girl when she wasn't. She realizes that her mom was right during their phone call, that there was more to the story than Amory was seeing.

Mom: Then you two should talk about it

Mom: Do you forgive her?

Amory: I want to

Mom: Then you should apologize

Amory: But that's so hard

Mom: I know. I really wish it wasn't, but I know

Mom: You inherited my stubbornness, that's for sure

Mom: You know, that's part of why your father and I broke up

Mom: I was too stubborn to forgive him for even the slightest mistakes. And it all became too much and it's been one of my biggest regrets. I had so much anger for him, and I hate to see that anger in you

Mom: If you love her, you should let it go. It's not worth it

Amory: I know, I'm just scared

Mom: It's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to lose on happiness because of it

Amory frowns to herself. She knows that her mom doesn't like to talk about her father, doesn't like to talk about their messy breakup. Amory's mom must think that this is serious in order for her to bring up Amory's father, for her to bring up her own mistakes in the relationship.

It is serious, Amory supposes, she's letting herself lose out on happiness over a years-old grudge. Something that didn't even turn out to be the way she thought it to be. She realizes she has a habit of assuming bad things about Blake.

She assumed that Blake slept with Natalie on purpose to get at her, but Blake didn't even learn that Amory was dating Natalie until they got caught. And she was in love with her, doing stupid things out of love. Amory supposes that she's also doing stupid things out of love. Hating Blake because she was scared was definitely a stupid thing.

And Amory assumed that Blake and Jenna were dating and that Blake was cheating on Jenna with Amory. But now she knows that isn't the case. She knows that Jenna and Blake were never dating.

Amory feels like a huge idiot. She feels like a complete ass. She should know to never assume, but that didn't stop her, and now she's living in the aftermath of assumptions made from a broken heart, a heart too scared to admit that she cares for Blake.

When Blake is finished getting dressed, Amory leads her to the clinic, keeping a hand on her arm while she coughs almost the entire way.

"Yeah," Blake says, when they're close to the clinic, coughing again, "maybe I am sick."

Amory gives her a look. "No kidding."

They get to the clinic and Amory helps Blake check in and then the two of them wait in the waiting area. Amory notices that a couple of the nurses are looking at them in concern, but she ignores them.

One walks over and Amory gives her a smile while Blake coughs hard next to her.

"Hi," she says, and Amory doesn't remember her name, but her name tag reads Jamie.

"Hi," Amory says.

"Is she sick?" Jamie asks, pointing to Blake.

"Yeah," Amory says, "I mean, she keeps saying it's allergies, but I highly doubt it."

Jamie nods. "It definitely is better to get checked out," she says. "Since you're both doctors, I'll talk to the nurses and see if we can get you seen sooner."

"Thank you," Amory says.

"You don't need to," Blake says, "I'm fine to wait."

"Well, the sooner you get taken care of, the sooner you can get back to work," Jamie reasons. "And we need as many hands as possible right now."

"Okay," Blake says, "that makes sense."

Jamie leaves and she's true to her word. Blake is seen within ten minutes. The other doctor draws some blood and does a ton of tests to see what Blake has. After a while, a doctor comes in the room with the test results. Blake has the flu and a chest infection.

Amory is a little surprised since she hasn't gotten any patients with the flu that she knows of, but she's also grateful that it's not something more serious.

The doctors prescribe Blake some medicine to help with the symptoms and the chest infection, but since the flu is a virus, there's not much else they can prescribe besides bed rest and lots of fluids.

Amory helps Blake back to the cabin and lays her on the bed.

"So what did Jenna say to you?" Blake asks when she's in bed, in between coughs.

"You were right, and I'm sorry," Amory says. "She told me that you weren't cheating on her. I should have listened to you."

"Yeah," Blake says, "but I understand why you didn't believe me. I've hurt you before. It's hard to believe that people have changed, especially when they've hurt you before."

"Yeah," Amory says with a frown, "but I still should have listened. I should have given you a chance."

"Well you gave me a chance at first, and you're giving me a chance, now. That's all I could ask for."

"And for what it's worth," Blake says, "I am really sorry for what happened with Natalie."

"I know," Amory says, knowing how much guilt Blake has for that. It wasn't even entirely her fault and she keeps apologizing. "And I forgive you."

"Then all is good, right? Does this mean we're all good?"

"Yes," Amory says with a laugh. "We're all good." Amory wonders how Blake could forgive her so easily, when she couldn't forgive Blake for something she didn't even do.

"Good," Blake says, "because I think I'm falling in love with you."

Amory feels a hot flush running through her body. It is exactly what she needed to hear, but she feels terrified. She takes a deep breath and takes Blake's hand and looks into her beautiful dark brown eyes.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

Blake smiles and squeezes her hand before she breaks out into another coughing fit. "And I'd tell you to come over here and give me another kiss, but I don't want to get you sick."

Amory laughs and leans in to give Blake a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll take that," Blake says.

A week later, and Blake is all better. She goes back to work with Amory and the two of them go back to their old routine, walking back to the cabin together and cooking supper in the evenings.

They'll be leaving Zambia in a few weeks and Amory is worried about what this means for their relationship. They have yet to even have a talk about the future. If Amory is honest with herself, she really thinks Blake is the one. She feels happier with Blake than she has ever been.

She's understandably a little nervous. It has been years since she's been in a relationship, after all, and her chosen partner is Blake Gold of all people. It doesn't help that she still feels the guilt from assuming that Blake was cheating on her. She doesn't want to mess up what they have.

She wants to talk about it with Blake but doesn't know how to bring up the topic. Why couldn't Blake just do it? Ugh. She hates being anxious. She's normally overly confident and not scared of anything but being around Blake has her heart acting all funky and her gut twisting in places.

Amory picks at her food while the two of them eat. They made chili again, and it's so good. It's also an easy meal, so they've had it a few times since coming to Zambia. It's a good thing that chili is one of their favorite foods or Amory can imagine that it would get old quickly. Just like there's an abundance of rice and pasta in their pantry and Amory has run out of new and interesting ways to make rice, and she likes fried rice. They've also had to learn how to cook maize and have been having it with almost every meal.

They even put it in the chili, but it tastes good with the beans, and Amory can hardly tell the difference.

"So," Amory starts and pauses. Blake looks at her expectedly and Amory looks down at her food. Curse her nerves. This should be easy, the next obvious step in a developing relationship.

"What?" Blake asks as if she's oblivious to Amory's internal distress.

"We need to talk," Amory says, hoping that Blake will understand what she wants.

"What do you mean?" Blake asks, and Amory is growing frustrated and anxious.

"Um," Amory tries again. "What are we?" she blurts out.

"What do you mean?" Blake asks, confused. "Like, aren't we doctors?"

Amory groans and turns her attention to her food, shoving a forkful in her mouth. She swallows and takes a deep breath. "No," she says, and then cringes, "I mean, yes, but that's not what I'm asking." She takes a moment to pause for breath and tries to summon some of her doctorly courage before she looks up at Blake again.

"I mean," she says, "do you want us to be together, like properly, when we get back home?"

Blake's eyes light up and she vigorously nods her head, looking like a bobble head.

"Yes, of course," she says. "I honestly thought we were already together, like properly."

"You did?" Amory asks.

"Yeah," Blake says.

Amory breathes a sigh of relief to know that Blake is on the same page as her. She laughs a little bit to herself to think that Blake was maybe also too anxious to have a conversation about what things were between them. Amory smiles at Blake and then asks the next part of her question.

"What will happen when we get home?" she asks. "How will we make it work?"

Blake pauses for a moment and looks at Amory. "Babe, I love you. I want to make this work. I want us to date properly in a way we haven't so far. I want us to make a future together."

"Okay," Amory says and smiles with relief. "Good, because I want to be with you for a long time and…. um.. I love you, too." Now that that's settled, the nerves in Amory's stomach go away, and now she's just left with butterflies in her stomach from the ‘I love yous'.

I love her.

As long as there's no more drama or stupid assumptions, Amory can see her and Blake being together for a long time, building a life together. She wonders what a life with Blake would be like. Maybe they can get a cat together. Blake already has a cat, maybe Blake's cat can become their cat.

She wants so badly for this to be her happy ever after. She also knows that she needs to work on herself, she needs to work through her issues with Blake and her trust issues with dating in general. Maybe she should see a therapist or something. She hasn't seen a therapist since she was in college, and she's a little scared to go to therapy—it doesn't fit her put together doctor look—but for Blake she'll do anything to ensure that the two of them get their chance at forever.

The next day, after work, Amory greets Blake by the door and does something she's never done before. She gives Blake a kiss. It's in front of all the nurses and patients in the waiting room.

It's a short kiss, and it's likely that no one except the receptionist, who smiles at them, has noticed, but Amory has never really been into public displays of affection, so this is a big deal to her.

Blake smiles widely at her, eyes lighting up and everything, and she puts an arm across Amory's waist.

"Are you ready to head back to the cabin?" she asks.

"Definitely," Amory says, her stomach growling slightly. She smiles at Blake.

She also wants a little more than just food from Blake and is excited to test out all of Blake's toys throughout the rest of their stay in Zambia. She brought a lot, and sometimes Amory wonders why, but she's definitely not complaining.

They walk to the cabin, holding hands and walking close together. When they get there, Blake opens the door and lets Amory walk inside in front of her. As soon as they're both inside, Blake closes the door behind her, grabs Amory by the back of her shirt, and pushes her against the wall. She presses a kiss to Amory's lips, and Amory bites back.

Blake laughs. "I've missed this," she says.

"Me too," Amory says. Even though the two of them made up over a week ago, they haven't had the chance to have sex or share more than chaste kisses. Not with how sick Blake was or how tired both of them were last night.

Blake kisses Amory again and presses their bodies close together. She runs a hand under Amory's shirt and grabs a breast under her bra. She then takes her hand back and works on unbuttoning Amory's shirt.

She moves slowly and Amory groans, begging her to just hurry up already.

"Patience, sweetheart," Blake says.

Amory groans again, "I'm all out of patience."

Blake laughs and finishes unbuttoning her shirt. She takes it off and tugs at Amory's bra strap, before reaching around her back and unclasping it.

She takes the clothes and throws them across the room, leaving Amory completely topless and Blake reaches forward, taking one of Amory's nipples in her mouth.

Amory gasps and moans. She leans forward slightly, encouraging Blake, and Blake laughs before she moves on to the other nipple.

While she sucks on Amory's nipple, Blake moves her hands to Amory's pants and unbuttons them. She lets go of the nipple and tugs the pants off, underwear and all.

Amory is completely naked while Blake is fully clothed and it's not fair. Amory reaches toward Blake's shirt, aiming to take it off, but Blake just moves away.

"Uh uh, sweetheart," she says. "You first."

Amory groans in frustration, but that stops when Blake puts two fingers inside of her and she moans, struggling to remain standing, especially when Blake finds her g-spot with ease. Blake has long, strong fingers, and they feel like heaven inside of her.

"Oh, God," Amory says, legs shaking as Blake fucks her and Blake laughs.

"Do you want to move to the bed?" she asks.

Amory nods, despite not wanting Blake's fingers out of her.

"Okay, baby girl," Blake says and pulls her hand away. She helps lead Amory to the bed and lays her down before she goes back to what she was doing.

Blake fucks her harder and faster and Amory feels herself squirting for Blake's fingers. Once, twice, thrice. The bed is getting wet, but neither of them care.

Blake pulls her fingers out and steps away and Amory looks up in desperation.

I need to come…

"Please.."

Blake smiles at her, "Patience, baby, patience."

Blake is slipping out of her pants and stepping into the strap on harness. It is black leather and looks as sexy as all hell on her.

She slides the dildo into it and tightens the straps. The dildo looks thick, black and amazing.

Amory opens her legs wide as she beckons Blake to her.

"Please, uh…. I need you to fuck me… I can't wait to feel it inside of me…"

Amory realizes she has never actually been fucked with a strap on, but right now she wants nothing more in the world.

"Turn over," Blake says, her voice husky and sexier than ever.

Amory's eyes widen at the request. She doesn't usually turn over during sex. Hell, its been so long since she even had sex before Blake.

But she knows she wants this so much she will do anything for it.

So, she flips herself over to lie on her belly on the bed.

She feels Blake's hands on her hips suddenly pulling her ass up and towards her and then she's on her hands and knees with her ass positioned at the edge of the bed. She feels wide open and vulnerable and more turned on than she ever has before.

She feels Blake's fingers run down the crack of her ass, teasing her anus, trailing through her wetness, finding her clitoris. Her entire body shivers at each and every intimate touch.

Oh my god.

She hears herself moan loudly. This was something she had never before known she wanted, but she felt absolutely consumed with wanting.

Blake teased her further with her fingers.

"I'm going to fuck you, baby. I'm going to fuck you so good so you come so hard for me and squirt all over."

Amory thought she might completely combust at any moment.

She felt Blake's hands on her hips again and the sudden touch of Blake's silicon dick at her vulva.

She let every exquisite second of pleasure as Blake guided it inside her. She felt the sweet pain/pleasure as her body stretched to accommodate the thick dildo.

Blake pulled her slowly back onto it.

"You are going to take all of me inside you, baby. All the way." Amory heard her own gasps as she felt the slap of Blake's pelvis against her own.

Fuck, it feels so good.

"You like that, baby?"

"Yeah.. oh god, Blake. Fuck me. Please, fuck me."

She heard Blake's laugh. She clearly didn't need asking twice. Amory felt the grip tighten on her hips as Blake began to fuck her. First, long slow and deep. And then harder and faster, Amory's body jolting with each thrust, she felt her breasts sway.

She heard her moans, her screams, more and more out of control. She has to raise her hand to her mouth and bite in in order to keep screams from leaving her lips.

That doesn't last long, however, because Blake takes her hand out of her mouth.

"No," Blake says, still fucking Amory, "I want to hear you."

"I'm worried I'll be too loud," Amory says.

"I don't care," Blake says, moving faster and Amory moans loudly.

Amory feels her orgasm beginning to build deep within her. Suddenly she feels Blake's thumb teasing at her anus and she has never felt more turned on in all of her life.

"Is this ok, baby?"

"Um… I want to.. I never have before.." Amory manages to speak between moans.

She feels the thumb pressing into her, opening her up and pushing inside of her. It feels more incredible than anything she has ever done sexually. She pushes her ass back. She wants more and Blake obliges.

It must be Blake's fingers now entering her ass, pushing long and deep while the dildo is still inside her pussy. She feels the fingers scissoring inside her and stretching her.

"Oh god, I'm so close," she gasps.

"Touch your clit,"Blake says. "Come for me, baby."

Amory reaches her right hand under her body to her clitoris. She feels her body is lost to her.

She pushes her fingers against her clit hard and with two slippery swipes of her clit and Blake's fingers and cock so deep inside her, her orgasm floods through her again and again like nothing she has ever experienced.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…" Amory can't do anything except come and come and come again. She feels her own wetness running down the inside of her thighs.

"Good girl, that's it, come for me. Fuck… yes…. come for me…."

She collapses face down on the bed and is just about aware of Blake sliding slowly out of her as her head spins in pleasure. She had never imagined sex could be that good.

Seconds later, she feels Blake on top of her, Blake's breasts pushing into her back, Blake's lips at her ear.

"You are so fucking hot. You are incredible," she whispers.

She feels Blakes wetness against her ass as Blake pins her down and grinds her clitoris into the curve of Amory's ass.

Blake is using her body to get herself off and Amory likes it.

She pushes her ass up to meet Blake's needy grinds. It feels like only seconds later that Blake's moans are louder and faster and her grinding harder as she comes loudly holding tightly onto Amory.

Amory smiles to herself, her face buried in the blanket.

"I love you…" she murmurs as she feels Blake collapse onto her back.

"I love you, too," Blake gasps in exhaustion.

"Let's live happily ever after," Amory says, and it feels entirely possible to her, suddenly.

"There is nothing I want more," Blake whispers in her ear and kisses her neck. "I want forever with you."