19. Revnan

There's smoke and fire surrounding me. I run into the night with a dark-haired woman in my arms, desperately trying to escape the flames.

And for a moment, we're safe.

And then it all goes horribly wrong.

"How disappointing," a slimy voice drawls.

I see a familiar face point his gun at her stomach. My mouth opens to warn her. To stop him. Anything to not make it come true.

But I'm too late.

He fires.

Maya crumples to the ground, but she doesn't look quite like Maya should. I can't explain why, but my brain somehow knows it is her and not her all at the same time.

I stumble towards her, but don't make it but a few steps before I fall over and into oblivion.

I gasp as I wake up from the horribly vivid dream.

Dream. It was just a dream, I try to reassure myself. But I can't shake the feeling that it was much more real than that.

"Revnan?" Maya murmurs sleepily next to me. "Are you alright?"

Shakily, I draw her close to me, breathing in her scent. She's alive.

"I will be," I murmur back to her.

All I want is to stay in this moment. To stay with her by my side, content and alive.

But the dream rings too vividly in my mind. And with every minute that passes, it feels more like an omen than a dream.

I recall the warning I received about being involved with her. That there would be dangerous forces trying to keep us apart.

Is it a prediction of what waits for her? It feels almost like a memory of something that already occurred, though I don"t completely understand it.

Resolutely, I come to a decision. "I'm going back on duty as soon as possible."

"What?" Maya asks, and she quickly pulls away from me. Her eyes are frantic. "But why?"

I tell her about the dream. About how I dragged her along with me and it ended in us both dying.

"I won't let that happen," I say firmly. "I can't be the reason you get killed."

Maya chews on her lip and looks thoughtful. "You say you dragged me along, but I don't think that was the case."

I blink in surprise. "What?"

She nods slowly. "I"ve had that dream, too. And in mine, it was very firmly my choice to be there."

I open my mouth to argue, but she plows ahead before I can speak.

There's fire in her eyes as she looks at me with a conviction like no other. "Don't take all the credit for what happened to us. I was just as much a part of it as you were."

Feisty as ever.

She cocks her head and that's when I realize that I've said it out loud.

"I remember that you've always been feisty. Always barreling head first into things even when you shouldn't have. It was something I always admired about you. Still do."

Her gaze softens. "We were mates in that life, too, weren't we."

It's not really a question, but I nod my head anyway. "I remember loving you like no one I ever had before. And I remember feeling complete when you were by my side. Just like I do now."

She smiles softly before her eyes light up with mischief. "Well, I remember you being an ass."

I bark out a laugh at her unexpected comment.

She laughs, too. "But I also remember feeling like I needed to be by your side. Just like I do in this life."

I pull her close to me once again and enjoy just having her here with me once again. Something in me feels as though I need to savor every moment I can with her. That for just a little while longer, I don't have to think about returning to my troop or Wilkes.

This is my fated mate. And no matter what, I know she is also my destiny. In this life and in every other.

As I close my eyes though, I'm nagged by the sensation of impending dread. I try to tune it out, but the harder I try, the more it seems to have a grip over me. Flashes of the dream – of the memory, if that"s what it is – and how we met our demise play behind my closed eyes. The warning I heard when I meditated earlier rings over and over again in my head.

How could being with her be so wrong? Why would the universe be trying to keep us apart even though we were meant to be with one another?

It doesn't make any sense. It makes me want to scream and rage about the unfairness of it all. Now I finally have my fated mate by my side, here on this hellish, war-torn planet, and that's about to be taken away, too.

Just like last time, it would seem.

Surely it isn't a cycle we could break by simply wishing it isn't true. She is my fated mate, yes. But if we stay together, I may be her doom.

I need to leave. To get away from here. To ensure that Maya can live out a normal life for once. Even if it'll kill me to do so.

Maya sighs and pulls away. She cups my face and smiles at me sadly. "You always think that you have to solve everything yourself. That you alone have to bear the burden of what needs to be done."

She shakes her head. "But guess what? You don't. I'm here now, and you don't have to be alone anymore. It doesn't matter what happened in our past lives, what matters is this one. Let me be a part of it. Let me ease the burden you've placed on yourself."

I clutch her hands on my face and squeeze them tightly. She's always known just what words to say to make me fall apart.

"I know you want to help," I murmur. "But there's no hiding from this one. One way or the other, I have to go back to the squad whether I like it or not."

And as hard as that will be, maybe it's for the best the decision has been all but made for me. Because if I were given any other choice, if I saw any other path of escape, I'd take it. I'd take Maya far away from here to somewhere where we could live out our days in peace.

But I don't have that choice. Not really.

Maya straightens and nods her head. "I know you do. I'm not suggesting otherwise. Running would only buy us a little time. And I have no doubt we'd always be worried and looking over our shoulder."

I furrow my brow. "If you're not suggesting we make a break for it, then what are you suggesting?"

She lifts her chin, and she meets my eyes resolutely. I know that look well. It means that whatever she is going to say next is going to be something I am not going to like. But she has already made up her mind, whether I approve or not.

"I understand that you have to go. But that doesn't mean I can't come along with you to find them. And that's exactly what I'm going to do."