Chapter 6

Gideon

I had to get out of there.

I'm sitting at the bar at Speak Easy, listening to jazz that sounds more like the blues at this point. Perhaps I should've gone to the clubhouse where I could get all of this off of my mind, pull a Beauty in the backroom and relieve some pressure. That sounds good right about now.

Sheol slams his fist into my shoulder and says, "You made it."

"I told you I would."

"What you drinking?"

"Jack. Straight."

He summons the bartender to order one for me, then joins me at the bar. He says, "When I saw you the other night, you looked like you had a lot on your mind.

"You could tell, hunh?"

"Yep. It's all over your face."

"I've been going through it with my ol' lady."

The bartender sets the glass in front of me and I take a long sip and say, "Ah…that's what I needed," feeling the alcohol burn down my esophagus, hoping it solves all of my problems, but I know that's impossible.

"Anything you care to talk about?"

"How about I give you some advice, Sheol?"

"What's that?"

"Don't get married."

He chuckles. "Okay. Spill. What's going on?"

"Ivy came to see me a few days ago, and she has my kid, man."

"You have a kid?"

"Yes. A daughter. I didn't know she existed until Ivy brought her to the clubhouse. And I haven't even been fatherly to my own child. What kind of man does that?"

"One who didn't know he had a kid in the first place."

"But I know now, and I want to be a part of her life. I just don't know how being that her mother and I are not on good terms."

"Why not?"

"When I was locked up, she didn't want anything to do with me."

"But she does now?"

"Yes, only because she's running from someone."

"From who?"

"The guy she was messing around with when I was away. She broke things off with me when she learned I was arrested, so I guess she had a right to move on, but this guy is abusive. She's literally on the run from him."

"Hold up, Hawk. I know you're not letting some punk threaten your wife and your child."

"Ivy is only my wife by name. We're not together. I'm not the man she wants a future with. I know that much. I knew that the day I tried to call her and she told me she was done. She washed her hands clean of me and thought she had landed someone better. Now she's scared to death of him."

"I understand all that, but think about your reputation. How will it look if you don't handle your business? Like it or not, Ivy is still your property."

I hang my head and massage the back of my neck. I know he's right, but the anger I feel is holding me back from doing what I need to do. I need to protect her, which is what I think I'm doing. I also need to build a relationship with my daughter. I'm not doing too well with that, but I need to start now.

I drive home, go inside and immediately spot my little girl in the living room. Ivy is sitting on the sofa. I scoop up Lilly and turn to head outside.

"Wait—where are you going with her?" Ivy asks like I'm going to kidnap her or something.

"What are you doing, Gideon?" she asks, chasing me out the front door.

"I'm spending some quality time with my daughter."

"But—"

"But what? Look at her. Does she look bothered?"

Ivy pauses and takes a moment to look at Lilly. We both do. My happy little girl has a smile on her face as she stares down at me almost as if she can sense our relation. She knows she's mine, or at the very least that I'm safe to be with despite my many tattoos and rugged appearance.

"She's fine with me," I say. "You trusted me enough to bring her here, didn't you?"

"I did, but—"

"Then trust that I will never do anything to harm her."

"Okay. Fine," she says but she doesn't go back inside. She sits on the steps while I tote Lilly to the driveway. I show her my motorcycle. She clamors to get down and when she does, she touches the wheel and other areas that she can reach.

"That's a motorcycle, babygirl."

"Vroom, vroom," she says, looking at me and smiling with those chubby cheeks.

"Would you look at that?" I say out loud. "She must takes after her old man. I never could get you to touch one of these."

"That's because they're dangerous."

"Only if the rider is untrained, Ivy. For me, riding is freedom. You'll never feel freer and more empowered until you hop on one of these babies. I can't wait to teach Lilly how to ride."

I say that just to ruffle Ivy's feathers. Something I've noticed about her since she's been here is, she's not the bold, outspoken woman she used to be. Abuse has stolen her voice and it shows, even if she doesn't recognize it. I need to tread lightly with her – help her get it back. She's stronger than this. Lilly needs the strong version. After talking with Sheol earlier, I know for a fact that I still have feelings for her.

"Alright, babygirl…time to go back inside before your mom has a stroke over there."

"Whatever," she says and rolls her eyes.

I smile inwardly. Yeah, that's right. Bring some of that sass back. That's the Ivy I know.

She takes Lilly from my grasp and goes back inside.