9

“I’m thirsty,” Olivia said, feeling unsurprisingly breathless. She was sure if she checked her smartwatch, her heart rate would be way too high. “Are you thirsty? Maybe we should get something to drink at the café before we start.”

The café was nothing more than a counter and a few tables at the entrance of the gym, but it looked like the most beautiful oasis that Olivia had ever seen.

“Olivia,” Chris said, his eyes dancing with amusement even if he wasn’t smiling. “Stop stalling.”

“You’re right,” she agreed, nodding her head more times than necessary.

She looked up, feeling dizzy as she followed the path of white holds up to the very top of the ridiculously high wall. The white route was meant to be a very easy one, but it looked just as impossible as the others.

“I can do this,” she tried to convince herself. “I’m just going to climb all the way to the top, and then we can go.”

“If your leg gets tired or if it gets too much, I’ll bring you down,” he reminded her.

“You promise you won’t drop me?” she asked, turning her attention from the wall to him.

He was looking down at her, his brown eyes far more patient than she deserved them to be. “I promise,” he told her.

“And you’re sure this knot will hold?” she asked, pointing to where the end of the rope was attached to the harness he’d helped her into.

It had been both an awkward and pleasant experience. It had been hard to ignore how sexy and large his hands were while they’d been tightening the loops around her upper thighs and around her waist.

“I’m sure,” he replied. “Here,” he said, holding out the bag of chalk.

Olivia took some and rubbed it into her sweaty hands.

“Take more,” Chris said. “You don’t want your hands to slip when you’re up there.”

She did as he said, feeling better when the chalk dried out her palms.

“Now you’re ready,” he told her. “You’ve got this.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding one final time before stepping up to the wall and placing her right foot on the white hold closest to the floor.

The indoor rock climbing gym was busy, much to Olivia’s dismay. She’d expected it, but she still hated having so many people around who might judge how long it took her or how inexperienced she clearly was.

“You’re doing great,” Chris called up to her once she’d gone approximately two feet off the ground.

“I’m doing terribly,” she countered, already feeling a slight tremble in her legs.

The same had happened the last time she’d tried rock climbing. It wasn’t that her legs were too weak. It was that her fear just had to go and make her life even harder by affecting her limbs in the worst possible way.

“No, you’re not,” he argued. “You’ve got this.”

Olivia definitely didn’t feel like she was doing a great job as she grabbed the next hold with her shaking left hand and pushed up on her right leg so her left foot could clumsily reach what felt like a far-too-small hold.

She did, however, feel like Chris had her. She could feel how little slack there was in the rope as she slowly made her way up. He wasn’t giving her room to fall more than an inch or two if she did slip. It was absurdly comforting to have him standing below her, controlling the rope and ensuring she was safe.

His presence shouldn’t have been anything but terrifying or worrying, yet Olivia found herself trusting him completely.

“How is your leg feeling?” Chris asked in a shout once she was maybe a third of the way up.

“It’s fine,” she called back, though both of her legs were trembling badly by that point. It was the muscles in her arms that felt the most tired, but her legs were starting to take strain as well.

Rock climbing was a far better workout than she’d expected.

“Try putting your left foot on the hold by your knee,” he shouted when she hadn’t moved for a few awful seconds.

Her hands were both on holds that felt too small, and she didn’t think she had enough of a good grip to lift either one of her feet.

“I don’t think I can,” she shouted back.

“Do you want to come down?”

Olivia considered it before shaking her head. “No. I can do it.”

She lifted her left foot and placed it on the hold he’d suggested, knocking her knee against another hold in the process. She knew she’d have a nice bruise to show for her efforts.

“Fuck,” she muttered, her pulse pounding against her skull as she pushed up with both of her legs and reached for a better hold for her right hand.

She managed to do that, but then she paused and felt stuck again. Both her legs were already straight, and she couldn’t see any holds she could use to get her feet higher. She made the mistake of letting her gaze move from the wall to the floor below her and regretted it immediately.

She was so high up. Too high up.

Olivia lifted her gaze back up and pressed herself closer to the wall. She could feel Chris’s firm grip on the rope, but it didn’t seem to matter. Her brain knew that she wouldn’t fall, but her body responded to the perceived threat in the most unhelpful way possible.

The chalk she’d used on her hands clearly hadn’t been enough because her palms and fingers were damp with sweat again. She began to feel light-headed as her breathing became shallower and quicker.

“Are you okay?” Chris shouted.

Olivia could only shake her head.

“Do you want to come down?”

She nodded.

“Okay, hold the rope with both hands and lean back like I showed you with your legs straight and your feet on the wall.”

Olivia felt the shift as he pulled a bit more on the rope. Her weight was all on the harness now, and the trembling in her legs lessened because of it. It was the only reason she felt secure enough to follow Chris’s instructions.

She removed her hands from the holds and wrapped her knuckle-white grip on the rope instead. She lightly pushed off the wall with her feet, and Chris started lowering her. Going down was surprisingly less frightening than climbing up, but Olivia’s pulse was still racing when she reached the floor and had her feet back on solid ground.

Chris stepped closer. “Shit. Your hands are shaking.”

“I told you I was terrified of heights,” she replied with a breathless laugh. “It’s not so easy to climb a wall when your legs and arms decide they’re made of jelly.”

“No shit,” he replied with a shake of his head. “The fact you made it as far as you did is amazing.”

She let out a sigh and looked up to the point she’d reached. “I didn’t even make it halfway.”

“Hey,” Chris said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Olivia looked up at him and swallowed. She hated how much that small touch affected her.

“Why don’t we get a drink, and then you can try again?” he suggested.

“Yeah,” she said, clearing her throat when the word came out roughly. “That sounds good.”

He untied the rope from her harness, and Olivia loosened the loops in her harness and stepped out of it while he sorted everything else out.

“Be honest,” Olivia said once they were sitting at one of the tables. “How bad was I?”

Chris put down his can of Dr Pepper and shook his head. “You really weren’t bad. You were doing great until you stopped and got stuck in your head.”

Olivia sent him a grateful smile. She didn’t quite believe him, but she appreciated it nonetheless. “I made the mistake of looking down, and it scared the hell out of me.”

Chris nodded in understanding. “I get it. I was also scared shitless the first time I tried it.”

“When did you start climbing?” Olivia asked. She’d imagined him as a little kid, bravely climbing up without so much as a brief flicker of hesitation as he expertly navigated the route up. It hadn’t occurred to her that he’d also been scared at first.

“I must have been around fourteen or so.” His eyes shifted down before moving to settle on the climbing wall closest to them. “Lucas and I used to come here all the time.”

Olivia’s eyes lowered down in shame. She never would have asked him to help her if she’d known. “I’m so sorry.”

Chris cleared his throat and gulped down the rest of his soda. “I need the bathroom.” He stood up without meeting her gaze and strode away from the table.

Olivia finished her water and people-watched while she waited for him to get back. She saw kids doing climbs she would never be brave enough to attempt, all of them making it look so easy. She smiled when a young boy beamed up at his proud dad after completing a climb like he was born to do it. The dad gave his son a high-five and affectionately mussed his already untidy hair.

She spotted Chris coming out of the bathrooms and was about to stand when a woman with gorgeously braided black hair intercepted him. Olivia watched as Chris’s face lit up with recognition, and the two of them hugged.

Jealousy that she had no right to feel flared up in her chest, making her lungs feel tight and her stomach feel heavy. She kept her seat as Chris finally pointed to her, and the pair began walking her way.

“Olivia, this is Anna,” Chris said once they’d reached the table.

“Hi,” Olivia said, forcing a smile onto her lips. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” the young woman replied in a husky voice that reminded Olivia of Scarlett Johansen’s. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m here alone, and I asked Chris if he could belay for me quickly.”

“Not at all,” Olivia replied, the words tasting like bitterness and lies. “You two go ahead.”

“Don’t be silly,” Anna said. “You can keep Chris company on the floor while I climb.”

Olivia smiled tightly. “Sure.” She stood up and followed them to a different wall than the one she’d climbed.

She quietly watched Anna put her harness over a pair of black and pink leggings and listened as she and Chris made small talk. Olivia was used to feeling like a third wheel, but something about this felt worse than when her dad and Noah went out to the movies or for coffee without her.

She had no right or reason to feel hurt, but that’s exactly how she felt watching Chris joking around and smiling at Anna when he usually couldn’t be bothered to say more than a few words to her.

“Another old friend?” Olivia asked after Anna had started climbing.

Of course, the raven-haired woman climbed expertly, her movements sure and her ascent quick.

“Uh, yeah,” Chris replied, his neck craned back as he watched her move up the wall. “She’s also been climbing here for a while,” he added.

“She’s good,” Olivia said.

“Yeah, she actually won a lead climbing competition last year.”

“Wow.”

Chris had explained to her earlier that lead climbing was when a climber took the rope up with them, attaching it to anchors as they ascended. Olivia let out a silent sigh. She was going to look like such an embarrassment climbing after Anna.

They watched the rest of Anna’s climb in silence, and Olivia was even more reluctant to try again once the stunning woman was back on the floor with them.

“Thanks, Chris,” she said as she untied the rope from her harness.

“No problem,” he replied. “Was that your last climb for the day?”

“Yeah. I did some lead climbing before this, so I’m all climbed out.” She took off her climbing shoes and turned to Olivia. “Thanks for lending him to me.”

Olivia shrugged. “No problem.”

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Anna smiled up at Chris. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yep,” he replied, and to his credit, he didn’t even watch her walk away despite the extra sway she seemed to be putting in her steps.

“You ready?” he asked Olivia.

“Define ready,” she joked.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said. “Let’s go.”

She followed him to the same route she’d attempted earlier. Though she still felt clammy and her heart rate still felt high, she put on her harness again with a new-found determination to get to the top this time. Much as she hated it, she could only attribute the sudden shift to her unhealthy jealousy of Anna.

She’d always been competitive, and that need to prove herself could be an incredible driving force.

“You can do this,” Chris told her once she was all set to begin.

Olivia only nodded and stepped up to the wall, this time with her back straight and her teeth gritted. She started climbing, and even when she was sure her fingers would slip on the smaller holds, she didn’t stop. When she made it past the halfway point, she was sure she was going to pass out because she was barely breathing, but she simply focused on her next inhale and carried on.

It was exhilarating. And still fucking terrifying.

But she did it. She actually did it. And when she put both of her hands on the white hold at the top of the wall, she grinned like a maniac.

“You did it,” Chris shouted up to her.

“I did it,” Olivia whispered, closing her eyes and reveling in the moment of victory.

“You ready to come down?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Olivia shouted, and then she leaned back, her trust in him still absolute.

She laughed as she walked down the wall, pushing off lightly with each step as Chris lowered her. She couldn’t believe she’d actually done it.

“You did it,” Chris repeated once she had her two feet on the floor. He surprised her by wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up in celebration. “You fucking did it.”

Olivia placed her hands on his shoulders and grinned down at him. “That was incredible.”

“Want to go again?”

“Fuck no,” she said with a laugh.

He chuckled and lowered her down. It felt like he did it in slow motion, the slide of her body down his charged with electricity Olivia was sure only she felt. Once her feet reached the ground, she found she couldn’t step back, and Chris didn’t do it either.

Olivia gulped. Her gaze was locked with his, and she didn’t think she could look away if someone had a gun to her head.

“We should…” Chris started saying, but then his eyes lowered to her mouth, and whatever he was going to say died on his lips.

His hands hadn’t left her waist after lowering her, and his grip on her tightened almost imperceptibly.

Olivia wanted to lift up on her toes and kiss him. She wanted to lean further into him. She wanted to sink her fingers into his hair.

Instead, she did nothing, and after a few more seconds, Chris’s eyes widened. He stepped away from her like he’d been burned.

“We should go,” he said.

“Right,” she replied quietly.

He must have remembered who he’d been holding. He was probably disgusted with himself. And honestly, Olivia couldn’t blame him.