3. ~Caspian~

I took another swig of my bourbon as I poured over the documentation from the intel packet Dante had gifted me.

It was an incredibly detailed account of everything Caleb had been up to for the last two years, since the day he’d stood out there on King Manor grounds and then walked away.

From me.

From us.

From the brotherhood.

His missionary era.

His angel of vengeance undertaking.

His rehabilitation facilities work.

Then Asher Monroe.

The son and heir apparent to Monroe Enterprises, along with the clandestine criminal empire that was their real source of power, affluence, and influence, the Infidels.

Asher headed the faction in the college town of Hexwood, he and his two long-time friends ruling the place with an iron fist and a whole lot of punishment and terror.

Until something had shifted.

A weapon in the form of Aurora Blackthorn had come into the picture and she’d provided Asher with what he’d wanted for a long time, the means to destroy his father and the empire he’d been forced to become a part of, something he’d long abhorred. Especially the human trafficking aspect in the form of their so-called dollhouses.

Given Caleb’s stance on that sort of thing, it was no surprise that once he’d learned of it, he’d involved himself in a bid to destroy those disgusting operations.

But this was more than that.

It hadn’t just been about that for him.

It had been about Asher.

He’d fallen for him.

The guy had come to him for punishment to purge all the dark out of him, something Caleb had schooled himself well on since he’d left.

But it had developed into much more for Caleb.

Not so much for Asher, though.

No, he had his lover for that in his brother-in-arms, Jonah Keller. And he also had Aurora too, the woman who’d become their world, much like what Skylar Bennett had been on her way to becoming to us until things had fallen apart in such a dramatic and tragic fashion.

And now, there Caleb was helping them fight a war against a dangerous enemy.

He’d become a part of that twisted and depraved fucker, Asher’s, extended inner circle.

I clenched my fingers around one of the surveillance photos that Dante’s ally had taken of Caleb looking absolutely enraptured as he had Asher in a chokehold against the wall of an alley not far from the church the latter had frequented for a time, Asher’s jeans shoved down past his ass as Caleb fingered him. Raw, it looked like, judging by the clenching of Asher’s jaw and the clear pain warring with pleasure that was all over him. I guess that had been a time when the purging of Asher’s demons had gotten away from them both.

I tossed that aside and picked up another much more recent one of them at a safehouse, Caleb smoking with Asher right up in his space, so much sexual tension even through a single photo as Caleb looked at him like he used to look at me, adoration mixed with the ravenous need to devour every inch of him.

Fuck.

On the one hand, I was fortunate that Dante had managed to find a man on the inside to be able to help and get a lock on Caleb to ensure he was actually safe and well, because not knowing had been driving me insane with every day that had gone on by since I’d lost track of him. But on the other hand, there was this. Although I knew that nothing more would come of his relationship with Asher because the latter was devoted to his own foursome, it still stung that he’d gone there with him at all, that he’d found that connection in another, such a similar connection to what we’d had, albeit with the missing element he hadn’t been able to get from me near the end—all that darkness and depravity. Asher had that in spades. But I had been trying to move away from that two years ago.

So much for that idea.

With what I’d had to handle following the shitshow that had arisen after the cataclysm, I’d had little choice but to go back to it all. Murdering those vermin at that apartment complex a couple of days ago had only been a small part of what I’d had to do.

Basically, to keep my power and protect me and mine, I’d had to let the dark swallow me.

I still had my head above water where that was concerned, thanks in part to Dante’s assistance, but the longer things went on in that vein, the more that would be tested and I stood the risk of sinking down all the way.

A light rap on the door of my home office had me jolting.

“Cas?” Bastian’s voice followed.

I pushed out of my chair and went to the door, opening it to find him grinning at me with what appeared to be excitement.

It took me aback for a few seconds because I hadn’t seen that from him in a long time.

Since Skylar, actually.

“You look like a kid on Christmas morning,” I said, looking him over in just a pair of navy lounge pants and a gray tank. “Complete with the pajamas.” I took a look at my watch. “It’s way past your bedtime, Bastian.” He had a strict routine I helped him to adhere to these days and a part of that was ensuring he went to bed at a reasonable hour and got enough sleep each night. It was one of the many parts of his recovery plan.

He waved his hand. “Everything is okay and this is just a one-off. I was trying to wait as long as possible, hoping you would’ve emerged from your office after completing your work, but it never came, so here I am to drag you out—at least for a little while.”

I frowned. “To what end?”

“Just come with me to the kitchen and you’ll see.”

Intrigued, I simply nodded, then closed my office door, and followed him through the mansion toward the kitchen.

As soon as we rounded the corner into the vast space, I pulled up short at the sight before me.

It was dark inside, but the island was illuminated with the soft light of a couple of dozen candles.

Birthday candles.

I walked in further and took in the cupcakes they were nestled in, counting exactly twenty-five of them, each positioned in a circle on the counter.

“Are these—”

“Strawberry cheesecake stuffed cupcakes,” Bastian confirmed with a wide grin. “I used your mom’s exact recipe.”

My mom’s recipe? Fuck me, it was unbelievable that he’d done this.

With Bastian being shut down for so long and so cautious after that, people often believed him to be uncaring and apathetic to everyone and everything. But he was actually so incredibly caring and thoughtful. Perceptive to people’s feelings and needs too beyond anybody I’d ever known. It just unsettled him to take on the vulnerability that came with expressing that.

So the fact that he’d done this here… it was absolutely incredible.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Good, that means you’re stunned—in a majorly good way.”

“I am. Thank you, sweetheart. This means a great deal.”

“Happy Birthday, Cas,” he said, coming to me and throwing his arms around me.

I held him to me tightly.

So tightly. My fingers were digging into his skin through his shirt with the vehemence with which I was holding him, emotion taking hold and demanding to be heard, to be felt.

It had been him and me for the last two years, here in this house, here for one another. On the surface it would seem that I’d been the one there for him through helping him with his recovery, putting various things in place in a bid to cement it this time, to guard against relapse much better than had been done before.

But he’d been here for me too. Without Caleb, I’d felt adrift. Incredibly so. He’d always been my anchor. Bastian had been second in that capacity because he’d insisted on standing at a distance to protect himself, to safeguard that vulnerability. But since Skylar had come into his life, it had changed things. Some for the worse, yes, especially with her leaving, but there was this too… this positive aspect to it. Him being open again, being capable of this sort of thing again. Moments like this and certain interactions I’d witnessed between him and Skylar… they were callbacks to the person he’d been before he’d lost his dad. The sensitive and selfless Sebastian, before he’d been touched by tragedy, before things had gotten so fucked-up and made him so incredibly jaded.

There was still hope, though. Instances like this reminded me of that.

And as much as he hated Skylar now—or, more likely, had convinced himself that he did—I believed her to be the key to unlocking more of that from him.

I actually believed her to be the key to reuniting all of us, to mending the fissures in the brotherhood and reforming as a foursome that would be beyond breaking under any strain.

It was what I’d thought when I’d allowed her into my home, when I’d begun to bond with her and studied her with my boys too. And, despite everything, I still believed it.

But that was all moot right now.

Until I could find her.

I’d told him I’d stopped. For his peace of mind, he’d needed to hear that.

But I hadn’t.

She’d simply disappeared.

Even Dante and Luke hadn’t been able to track her, and the reach between all three of us was staggering.

But all it would take was one slipup and that would be our in.

Unfortunately, there was just no telling when that would be.

So I’d encouraged Bastian to go on with his life, to move beyond her, beyond what could’ve been, yet couldn’t currently.

Him venturing out to the Bennett home today, though, had shown me how much he needed closure to be able to do that fully.

And it killed me that it was the one thing I couldn’t give him.

“So,” he said, easing back. “Let’s blow the candles out before they burn out.” He reached out and wiped away a stray tear making its way down my cheek. “Make a wish, brother.”

He guided me to the island, then took position on the other side, looking on eagerly.

I closed my eyes briefly and made my wish, as he was so excitedly insisting, then I blew out the candles, taking out all twenty-five with two breaths.

“Impressive,” Bastian said, then started clapping.

I had me chuckling.

He laughed too as he set about plating a cupcake each for us.

As we pulled up a stool beside each other and dug in, the taste reminding me of the days of simplicity and warmth from when my parents were alive, he stared at me.

“What is it, sweetheart?” I asked, as I watched his mouth open and close, as though he was fighting himself with voicing whatever had just come to mind.

“You wished for him, didn’t you? For Cal to come back?”

“In essence.” More than that, actually. I wished for all four of us, to restore we’d lost.

He rubbed my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Cas.” He ate some of his icing, then licked it off his lips and said, “He’s had time now. Your wish could very well be on its way to coming true.”

“Information has come to me, Bastian. Regarding Caleb.”

He arched an eyebrow. “You got a lock on him? You know where he is?”

“I do.”

“And?”

“And he’s well.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Where is he? What’s he doing?”

Currently where he shouldn’t be. Endangering himself. “Assisting a friend.”

“A friend? So he’s made connections then? He hasn’t just gone the loner route?”

“For the most part he has. That’s part and parcel of who he is. You and I were the only exceptions beforehand. But he has developed a couple of friendships in his absence, yes.”

“Friendships that will keep him there?”

I shrugged and took another bite of my cupcake.

“With you knowing where he is now, it stands to reason that you can now reach out and contact him, yes?”

“Correct.”

“And? Are you going to?”

“It’s not for me to bring him back. He has to want that on his own. He left for a reason. If that isn’t resolved, it won’t change anything. It won’t keep him here.”

He nodded, taking my words in.

And then he asked the question I’d hoped he wouldn’t.

“Do you think he will, Cas? Do you think he’ll actually come back to us?”

“I don’t know.”

We stared at each other, the weight of it rolling off us.

And then Bastian grasped my hand and said, “Enough of all of that. We have each other. We’re doing well. And tonight is a celebration.” He gestured at the cupcake I was almost through. “Good, huh?”

I smiled. “You’ve outdone yourself.”

“Damn straight.”

I chuckled and he joined me.

And then we sat together awash in celebration mode and levity, enjoying one another’s company, and refusing to let all the rest in.

At least for the night.