Chapter 1

Growing up in the bible belt of East Texas, my oddness stood out. I had this way about me where I pick up on other people's emotions. I read my tea leaves and listen to my gut, my intuition. I guess you'd say I am an empath.

Sometimes, I'd even get a vivid vision when I get touched. My mom says I am gifted. And that I get it from her grandmother's side. I have always been a misfit, and growing up here in the bible belt hasn't always been easy for me. My younger brother Jason had made life here so much easier since he took up for me a few years ago.

When I was at our town park, I was reading my book about sparkly vampires under a nice and cozy shady tree when my brother and his jock pals walked by.

"Look, that's the freak my girlfriend was telling us about. Be careful! One look, and she'll hex you," Clayton said, mocking me.

I had ignored them as usual, but it was the first time my brother ever witnessed anyone messing with me.

"Watch your fucking mouth! You ignorant son bitch!" Jason went on a rant as he gave Clayton an upper-hand punch. Jason knocked him flat on the ground. Clayton was a wannabe rodeo cowboy and football jock. His giant belt buckle caught my eye when he tried to scoot on his ass to back away from Jason's towering form.

"That's my sister, and she is not a witch! You will respect her, or I will put my own hex on you and be your worst fucking nightmare! Besides, she can last eight seconds longer on any bull in this town than you could ever dream of, Clayton. Hands down, Darah can out rodeo, hunt, and fish you anytime. She is more cowboy than you can ever dream to be, and she is a lot prettier doing it, too." Jason spits his chew on the ground next to Clayton's frazzled face.

"Just because she is so talented doesn't mean it's magic, you asshole! No one disrespects my sister." Jason stared down the other two dudes, helping Clayton off the ground.

"You owe Darah an apology. Now!" Jason demanded.

I was scared, my heart was pounding. I had never seen my brother that mad or violent before. I was embarrassed too, my face turning red, I could tell by the heat rushing into my cheeks.

"Jason, it's no big deal." I tried to say when my brother cut me off."Darah, it is a big damn deal!" Jason glared at his friends."He's right, Darah. I am sorry for offending you. I was wrong, and it was childish. I don't know you, and I had no right to be that mean to you. I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me." Clayton groveled, looking sheepish under my brother's angry gaze. Clayton didn't look me in the eye as he dusted his wranglers off, his eye was swelling, turning red before my eyes."It's all good, Clayton. We are good." I insisted, ready for them to leave so I could shake off that whole ordeal."I'll meet you at the field in a minute. I need to make sure my sister is truly okay." Jason dismissed his pals as they walked away. If they were dogs, their tails would be tucked between their legs."Darah, I am so sorry he said that shit to you. I had no idea you have been bullied like this." Jason sat next to me, truly upset on my behalf."Stop being such a big little brother. You didn't need to go that far. I am a big girl. I am used to ignoring them. I can't believe you told them I can ride bulls, you liar." I laughed, trying to defuse his tension."Well, you can out-hunt or fish him. Clayton is such a showoff, but he has no real skills. He's getting to big for his britches if he thinks he can treat you like that. You are more cowboy than he can ever be, even if the bull riding was a white lie. He's an idiot. Now that I am in high school, these fools better stay in check when it comes to you, or I will put them in their place." Jason's eyes turned from anger to tender as he really looked at me."Darah, you are my big sister. I hate that these asshats don't know you like I do because they would all know that you are unique and wonderful. I am proud of you." Jason got up, dusted off his jeans, and gave me his Hollywood-worthy smile with those sweet dimples."I love you too, little bro. See you tonight."After that day, Jason and I had a more grown-up relationship. I still kept it playful, but he truly changed my life. He protected me, and it wasn't long before I was left alone. I will always love him, but for that moment, it will always be a moment close to my heart.Shaking off that pivotal memory, I returned my thoughts to the present. After taking a couple of years off school to work, today was the big day. I graduated high school two years ago and helped my parents pay for my brother's sports stuff. He was a big-shot football player in this town. He was about to be eighteen. I was now twenty-one and have finally gotten into college.My parents and brother drove me from our East Texas town five hours to Austin to drop me off."Oh, Darah, I am so proud of you." My mom hugged me tightly. My dad then pulled me in for a hug."Darlin, this is just the beginning. You have the world at your fingertips." He gave me a sweet kiss on my head.My brother Jason hugged me."Get me tickets to a University of Texas game and make friends. Tell the pretty girls about your hot younger brother." Jason said with a wink.He was seventeen going on thirty, and some days, I think he was more grown up than I was. I doubt I would need to tell any pretty girls about him. They tend to swoon over him naturally. He dreams of playing football for UT, and I am sure he will have his pick of colleges."Dork," I said as I released his hug. I waved goodbye and watched them drive away in my dad's old Dodge truck."I hate city traffic, "my dad complained as they drove off in his old red Dodge Ram truck.I was so happy and so hopeful in that moment. I am nervous about adulting alone, but I was here! I was finally doing it.I turned and went up the stairs to my new dorms, just a bus ride away from my college campus and the beginning of my future. I opened the door to my very first independent home, well, at least until they assigned me a roomy. I had a couple of boxes of my stuff on my twin-sized bed. It was not much, but it was all I needed. That nervous excitement had me humming in delight. This was all new and extraordinary to me.My cheap cell phone rang, distracting me from my plans to unpack. It was Jason calling me. My heart sank. He just left. Why was he calling me? My anxiety peeked, but I brushed it off and answered."Miss me already, dork," I said to my brother as I answered."Darah . . . it's bad." I heard sirens as Jason, weak and wheezing, said, "I love you." In a croaked whisper."What? Jason, answer me! What happened?" I heard the noise of people in the background and sirens as I cried into the phone, trying to find out what was happening. I felt utterly hopeless and terrified, waiting for answers.Eventually, after what felt like forever, a first responder picked up Jason's phone."Hello." He said in a deep voice."Hello, hello, I am Darah, Jason's sister." I rattled out with nerves."He just called me. This is his phone your talking to me on. Please, tell me what happened. Is my family, okay?" I asked frantically.Ma?am, there?s been a car accident on IH-35 northbound, there is a pile up of vehicles here, I am a first responder, we are sending your family to the Saint David South Austin Hospital. Please meet your family there, Ma?am.?The click of the phone hanging up sent me into a panic. My face was numb, my ears rang, and dread swallowed me whole. I ordered a taxi with my shaky fingers. To take me to the hospital.Saint Dawn, "shit!" what was it? Saint David, that's it, remember Darah, Think! I chastised myself.Saint David, Austin, I kept repeating until I got the ride ordered."This can't be happening!" I told myself as I traveled in a cloak of fear to the hospital. I was suddenly in a living nightmare.I waited in a state of shock at that hospital, pacing in the hall outside the seating area that I was directed to. Finally, a doctor approached me and took me to a private room. My heart sank. That can't be good. Private rooms to talk can't be any good. I panicked. I felt the doctor's dread as he faced me."Ma'am, your family is John Davis, Dana Davis, and Jason Davis? he asked as he read the names off of his notes."Yes, sir, please tell me they are alive," I begged with tears, fearing my radar was picking up the wrong message."Unfortunately, ma'am, they were found deceased at the scene. We have a counselor available . . ."All three of them? Are you sure? Can you double-check?" This had to be a mistake. This couldn't be real."I am sorry ma'am all three are confirmed dead, they have passed away.""No!" I cried as I ran away from him and out of the hospital. I ran into a new, unthinkable reality. One where I was no longer myself, just a shadow of who I was meant to be.Grief had taken my whole heart and left me empty and alone. The little money I had saved was gone. I used it to cremate my family. I couldn't even afford to buy a permit to spread their ashes, much less get a headstone or plot. I chose to spread their ashes illegally at the botanical gardens in Austin. I asked, but it wasn't allowed.I like the Japanese garden part of the botanical gardens, so I spread them there, and I go there to visit them. My parents had no will. The rancher they rented from quickly moved a new ranch hand and his family in. I couldn't get back to East Texas to sort through their affairs. My brothers coach packed up our trailer and stored our stuff in an empty Conex cargo container on his property, he said I could get it anytime. In the meantime, he would keep it safe.Paying my rent after all the expenses of the funeral cremations was just not a possibility. I was in no shape for school or work. With the last of my money, I bought a tent and moved to the streets. I needed to grieve, pull myself together, and find a job.I woke with a start, I looked around the tent I was sleeping in, trying to calm my pounding heart.I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Then I grabbed my half-drank bottle of Gatorade and finished it off. Taking a deep breath, I settled back into my sleeping bag and tried to fall asleep again.Even though I wasn't in the accident, every time I dreamed, I saw it as if from my brother's perspective. I could see the metal crushing in like a tin can, the glass shattering, smell the smoke of the damaged engine and the road tar, the taste of copper blood was the worst. I have relived that event nightly since the crash.My brother's last memory was imprinted into my brain, a miserable way to be haunted by him. Guilt and grief were are all I knew. I was struggling to be better. To be what would make my family proud of me.It had been six months, but it was all still so raw. I knew I needed to stop this wallowing and get myself right. I felt them watching me, and I know I made them sad.I was gifted an annual gym membership as a farewell gift from the rancher's wife, Miss Anna. She wanted to treat me but told me to keep it between her and me that she got me the membership.It was a huge blessing because I use my gym pass to take showers. I excel at camping, hunting, and fishing. I can work on a ranch. Getting dirty is what I do, but I need my daily bath. It?s just a thing for me to get clean.My membership was about to expire, though. Being homeless was just not much of an option anymore. It was time for me to pull myself up by the bootstraps. I needed to start a job hunt and get off the streets.I tried to move my tent daily and avoid the homeless camps. I wanted to grieve alone. I sang for money to eat and get by. My gut kept telling me that a change was in the air, and my morning tea leaves kept showing me stars.What good was any of these signs when I had none to warn me about my family's accident? I could easily pick up on others, but my so-called gifts were just shit when it came to sensing things too close to me. Most of the time, I still get a sense that things get dull when it comes to me or those close to my heart.Deciding sleep wouldn't be happening, I unfurled myself from my sleeping bag and began to pack up my tent. I put my tea, snacks, essentials, and an outfit in my backpack. I grabbed my guitar case and hid my tent and stuff for camp. It was dark just before dawn, and I walked to the gym.The sun came out, and the streets were getting busy with the morning commute. The smell of the city makes me homesick for the ranch and East Texas. I soaked in the hot tub at the gym to ease my stiff body. Sleeping on the ground was difficult for my stiff back.I was clean- Thank God for the little things. I wanted to start a job hunt today.I walked through Zilker Park to watch the morning runners and see the water roll by in Barton Springs. I was walking to the botanical gardens when I took a moment to sit in the grass and pray for the first time in a long time.If there is anything out there, please help me find my way.A black lab ran past me after a ball its owner threw. I Stood up and went across the street to the botanical gardens to spend some time paying respect to my family. I snuck in again. Security will throw me out if I get caught. This time, they might even call the cops on me.It was pretty much empty that early in the morning. I liked to watch the Koi fish swim around in their little world of water and lily pads. I stepped over stones in the pond when I heard a man yell."Hey! You there, stop right there!"I jerked back and lost my footing, falling into the Koi Pond. The cold water surrounded me, and my heavy pack sank me. I barely caught a breath to hold before I went underwater.My ears rang, and I felt myself being sucked down fast. Sinking deeper into the darkness, I didn't think the Koi Pond was this deep. I felt like I was going to drown. I was sinking into a dark deep water I could no longer see any fish or plants and not even the light from the surface anymore.Just when I was about to gulp in a lungful of water, suddenly, I was pulled out of the darkness, and as I surfaced, cold air hit my face.As soon as I got a lung full of air, I expected to see that guard. Instead, I saw a pastel furry face hissing at me and hopping off. I frantically pulled myself on the bank of the stream I was in, my guitar case still in my hands and backpack weighing me down, which made my efforts slippery and awkward.I was officially terrified. I was surrounded by tall pine trees and a stream running steadily by. The crisp air made me tremble. I stood up to evaluate myself and this situation. With teeth chattering, I was officially scared.My heart was pounding, and I hit my knees and opened my case, trying to pour the water out of it and save my guitar. I turned my guitar over to examine it. It was worn from when my mom had played it but mostly dry. My mother gifted it to me when I graduated high school. I couldn't lose it, too. Nothing was making any sense! My guitar was the only tangible thing that reminded me of my family. Seeing it gave me a small comfort that I needed in this craziness.The smell of forest, moss, and leaves registered in my nose. I looked up, and I saw tall, dense trees. The humidity and heat of Austin were gone, replaced with a cold that gave my wet body chills."What the Hell?" I said to myself. Turning in a slow circle, I realized I was no longer in the botanical gardens. I was also not in Austin anymore, not with this chill. Had I lost my mind? This wasn't possible. It couldn't be real."Okay, Darah, get your shit together," I said to myself. My heart was pounding so hard I heard it beating in my eardrums. Cold seeped in as I continued to shutter, looking around to figure out what kind of trouble I got into. "It's like I fell into the Twilight Zone!" I mutter through chattering teeth.