Chapter 26

Juno

The buzzing of my phone on the nightstand dragged me out of sleep and made me groan. I saw my agent's name and almost hung up on him, but he'd never called me so late before. Or early, I thought, as I noticed it was after two in the morning.

I reached for the phone and picked up.

"Do you know what time of night it is here?" I asked before he could say anything.

"Yes, but I knew you'd want me to wake you up for this," he replied, sounding smug.

"What is it?" I sat up and pulled the duvet tighter around me to keep warm.

"I knew you'd want to do it, so I've accepted on your behalf already and let the media know it's happening. You know that business opportunity you were talking about with a certain handsome rock star? His band made it official."

My blood ran cold, and confusion rendered me mute.

"Okay, I was expecting squeals of excitement, like when I told you that you had the TV deal last year. What's wrong?"

"Uhhh…" I didn't know how to respond. I thought Jack hated me. Why was his band offering to officially get me involved in the lyrics? This made no sense.

"What did I miss?" my agent asked, pressing me for an answer again.

"I don't know. I guess I just didn't expect it. You say you've already accepted. How does that work? Don't you need me to sign stuff?"

"Well, yes and no. With music, sometimes there's a sort of good faith element. How much you'll get paid will depend on your actual contribution. So we'll hash out the final details of the contract after you've begun. It's a little unconventional. You'll need to sign an NDA, and we'll get them to sign something to say you'll be remunerated sufficiently for any help you give."

I frowned. It sounded like something I could get out of, but how on Earth was I going to explain that to my agent? He would want me to see it through now that he'd agreed to it, and had he said something about media involvement?

I asked him what he'd meant, beginning to panic.

"I was discreet with my little nudge to the media. They'll report that it's rumored you're working with the band on some kind of song, but with those photos of you with Jack circulating, it's got enough weight that the media will lap it up. This is going to be so good for your career. Not to mention the constant trickle of royalties it will bring in."

"Right," I replied, feeling like I should say something. It didn't sound like I could refuse this anyway.

Or did I just not want to? Did I want the chance to see Jack again and explain myself? I had no idea, but while my agent babbled on about details and possible career opportunities this might lead to, I considered what I might say to Jack if I got the chance.

"You still awake, darling?" he asked a moment later. "I haven't put you to sleep, have I? 'Cause I'd have thought you'd be excited about the idea of growing your income fourfold."

"While more money can make the world an easier place to live in, you know full well that making money isn't my main focus. I want to get to work on lots of projects and see my stories evolve beyond me."

"That still doesn't explain why you're not excited about this one. This is literally all that, as well. The song is inspired by one of your books. They want you involved in the song because of that."

"I know, and that's cool. I guess…it's a huge thing. The band is huge."

"You feeling nervous?" he asked, his voice gentle now, as if he felt we'd got to the real matter. It was why I'd picked him over other agents. He clearly cared about the money, but he'd appeared to care about me just as much, if not more. He knew his job was to make me money, but he still listened to my thoughts on the matter.

"Nervous is one word for it," I replied, knowing I couldn't explain exactly why I was nervous. He could assume it was because they were so famous, and I'd never written song lyrics before. He didn't need to know it was because I was worried Jack would be difficult to work with.

Of course, there was a chance I wouldn't even be working with Jack. I might be working with some of the others, and he wouldn't be as involved. He'd said it was Kai who had been interested in me helping in the first place.

"You shouldn't let nerves stop you. You're always telling me that when fear wins, opportunities are lost, and sometimes forever. You've always faced your fears. I'd be an awful person if I let you say no to this—if that's the only reason you can give me."

"It's the only reason I can give you," I said, knowing he had a point. My fear of how Jack would react wasn't a good reason not to try something new and exciting that I'd love to do under any other circumstances.

"That's my girl. I'll let you go back to sleep and forward you the details. You'll need to fly out there for a while, I think. They're busy, so I said you'd go to them. You can write anywhere, and we don't have anything else on your schedule for another three weeks."

I shook my head and smiled as my agent continued to talk about the details, having already forgotten he'd told me to go back to sleep. It was clear he was excited for me, too.

Eventually, I managed to get him to promise to put all the details in an email and get off the phone, but even when I lay back down, I couldn't sleep. My mind kept focusing on the one part of this that didn't add up. Why did the band now want me to hang out again when Jack didn't like me anymore? Or whatever he felt.

I'd blown it with him, so why was he okay with this? Was this his way of apologizing? Was this him trying to make amends? Or had he tried to stop it? Was it the rest of the band that wanted it and not him?

As I thought about these questions and more, I tossed and turned. I'd always been the sort of person to lie awake at night and wonder if I'd offended someone or said something I shouldn't have. Now, I was lying awake at night wondering if a boy liked me.

I was far too old for such nonsense. Or at least I felt too old to have my heart tugged around in this way. I was done with high school crushes and will-he, won't-he romances.

Despite my desire to let it go, it seemed my heart wasn't going to play ball, and my mind was quite happy to indulge in its whims.

Sighing, I got up again and made my way to the small living room. I sat on the sofa with a blanket and a hot chocolate and tried to figure out what I was going to do and what I'd say to him. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd pulled open my emails and found the email address he'd used before.

Jack,

Just got a call from my agent about coming to New York to try and write that song. He said yes before asking me. Happy to come anyway, but wanted to make sure you wanted me there. Don't want it to be awkward or to come if you don't truly want it. Let me know what you think.

Juno

I hit send almost by accident, my finger hovering over the trackpad in just the wrong way, so the computer seemed convinced I'd double-tapped it. For a moment, I panicked. Had I really just sent that to him? Over the next few minutes, I reread it at least a thousand times, trying to figure out what I could have said differently. I hadn't done a bad job, but I knew there were a bunch of better ways I could have phrased it.

Trying to put it from my mind, I put the laptop down and picked up a book. I'd read until I felt sleepy again. It was my only hope.