13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Belinda

“ Y ou’re awfully quiet.” I looked up at my mom, wanting to smile but I couldn’t. It had been two days since I talked to Chase, and I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind.

It would be best, I knew, if I pulled away. That us being a thing wasn’t something right now. If ever. Which I was doubting.

I knew him far better than he probably wanted me to. And I couldn’t fault him for his feelings. He wouldn’t want to get close because he would be too worried, and I had no way to tell him not to. So, to save face, to save my own heart from shattering, I knew it best to probably cut ties with all of Westover after Christmas.

I wouldn’t go back to Tahoe, and I wouldn’t be too far away, but this town just wasn’t going to work. There was no place in this city I could go to that wouldn’t remind me of him.

And there weren’t other men I could date around here; all were connected to Chase in some capacity.

“Thinking is all, ma. Did you need something?”

“I need to go into town for your grandma’s pills. Want to go with me?”

“Yes! I need to grab something too.”

“What’s that?” she questioned as she grabbed her purse and jacket.

“A gift for Chase. He’s been really sweet and a good friend, so I want to make sure to get him something. I think I saw it the other day but couldn’t grab it because we had bumped into each other.” I wouldn’t voice that he was also a complete dick that day cause mom would have his hide. That, or she’d tell his mom, and she would handle the situation.

Come to think of that, that would actually be pretty funny to see. But I’m sure I got him enough heated water with the hickey I have no doubt he was still sporting, so best to save him.

“I’m glad to see you two are at least being friends. I do wish he’d get over the hurt though and fall in love.”

I gritted my teeth as we climbed into the car. I wanted him to fall in love too, but not just with anyone. Was it really so wrong to want that for me?

No, it wasn’t. But, again, fighting the battle here. Can’t think like that.

“It would be nice. Guess his marriage didn’t last?”

I backed us out of the driveway and headed into town, glancing at my mom as she grew quiet.

“Did you get married, Belinda, because I told you Chase did?”

I wanted to save my mom this topic, but I should have known she would have asked eventually. Really, I was surprised it took this long.

With a sigh, I nodded. “Yeah, guess so. We weren’t supposed to find marriage. So, dumb me wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. But the truth was, I only hurt myself. Chase didn’t care.”

I parked outside of the store and looked at it for a moment before looking at my mom.

“That’s where you’re wrong, pumpkin. You getting married probably destroyed that man a whole lot more than him getting married did.”

She got out of the car, leaving me along with that thought. Even if I didn’t believe it since he honestly didn’t show just how much it bothered him.

I shook my head and climbed out as well, grabbing a cart for mom and me.

“Belinda?”

I turned around, looking at the blonde hair beauty before me. Looking at her now, yeah, I can totally see why Chase married her. She hadn’t aged a day and still had the same trim figure.

“Tori, nice to see you.”

“I had heard you were back in town but hadn’t seen you.”

“Yeah, been with my mom and grandma,” I answered, trying to figure out how to get away.

“That’s good, I know they missed you. Hell, I think half the town did.”

“Maybe some didn’t.”

She bit her lip, and I cringed. I didn’t mean for it to come out snarky like that.

“Belinda, what happened years ago with him, was a stupid drunken night and dare. I won’t lie and say I didn’t have a thing for him. But as a teenager, all I saw was a woman in the way of what I wanted. So, when you left, and that night happened, I jumped for my chance. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

“What I wish I could have seen when we were younger, was the love that man had for you. Still has for you. Let’s not all pretend he doesn’t. The days we were married, believe me, it didn’t even last a month, but throughout all those days, all I heard about was you.

“How you broke his heart and how he wasn’t sure he could fall in love again. You know what that does to a woman?”

“I’m sorry, Tori. I didn’t mean…” I trailed off, not sure what to say but she just offered a smile.

“Please don’t. He spent a lot of time drinking, bouncing from stupid thing to stupid thing to try and erase you from his mind and his heart. We all were worried. I wanted to believe I could help him, change him. But what I realized was that no one could. That man was so far buried for you, and only you could help him.

“What I was able to do, as a friend he needed, was to snap him out of the self-destruction he was in. I don’t regret our marriage, as dumb as it may be, and it was. Because it did push him in the right direction. Now, he and I, were not friends or anything, but we do talk.”

“I never meant for the pain to be there.”

“Oh, gosh Belinda, I know that. I’m not saying any of this to bring you down. I just wanted you to know. You deserve that much. And something tells me that Chase hasn’t been very forthcoming with that information.”

“No, he hasn’t. We tend not to bring up the past too much.”

“I don’t blame you. If you don’t mind my saying so, I don’t think you had a good go of it either.”

“No, Tori, I sure didn’t get the fairytale I wanted either. What I wanted was him, but I can’t have him.”

“I know you and I have had our differences, and I’m really hoping we can put all the crap in high school behind us and move on. I’m different. In fact, I’m engaged. But can I ask a favor?”

I wasn’t sure I would ever see the day hell freezes over with Tori standing right before me, asking a favor. In high school, she was more likely to trip me than talk to me. But I can be better, like she was seeming to be.

“Sure, Tori, I will do my best.”

“Don’t count Chase out. I don’t think there is a day that’s gone by that the man hasn’t loved you. But when your heart is on the line, it takes a lot to show it.” With that, she gave me a friendly hug and smile, and walked away, leaving me with swirling thoughts.

I thought over all she said, and I wanted to believe her. Wanted to think Chase would come back to me. However, his actions were all louder than his words. He didn’t want anything more than a quick fling and he got that.

I felt this.

I knew this.

Now I needed to fortify my heart into letting him go.