18. Miles

18

MILES

Pacing was actually a real thing. The only time I'd ever walked back and forth in one spot was on a set when it was written as the action. I'd never actually done it in real life… until now.

When I reached the couch that sat against the wall, I turned and crossed the office again. By the time Zoe got here, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd worn a path in the wood flooring. I checked my watch for the tenth time in less than five minutes. I couldn't remember ever being this nervous about a meeting with someone.

When I messaged Zoe and invited her to review the audition tapes for her character, I expected her to decline. She'd been gracious enough to give notes on the script, but I still had the feeling that she wasn't totally on board with the project. When she didn't reply, I called her. It was an impulsive decision. I hadn't thought it through. When she answered, I did sort of feel like I was putting her on the spot, but she'd agreed to come and give her opinion.

I was telling myself that the nerves were solely based on the fact that I wanted her approval of the project, nothing more. I didn't want to admit the truth—that she did something to me. Whenever she was near me, and even when she wasn't, my body reacted to her. There was nothing I could do about it.

Before today, I'd done a good job so far at staying away from her. At least I had while I was awake. At night, when I was sleeping, it was a different story. I'd had dreams about her. Some were downright X-rated, others I woke up before it got to the good stuff. Last night, I had her pushed up against a wall, and my hand was up her shirt. She was biting on my ear, telling me to fuck her, and then I woke up harder than I'd ever been in my life. It had taken two strokes in the shower before I blew like a geyser. Just thinking about her whispering those words in my ear now had my jeans feeling snug.

My phone vibrated on the conference table, and my heart sank. I walked over to it, sure that it was Zoe calling to say that she'd changed her mind. When I saw it was Braxton, relief washed over me. I picked it up. "Hey."

"Okay, I'll take the job. But only on the condition that I stay on as your assistant until after the movie wraps, and then you let me hire my replacement."

I sighed. She still truly believed I couldn't take care of myself. "You can stay on until after the movie, but I want to slow down after that. I was thinking of taking some time off. I want some…peace."

There was silence on the other end. I knew that if she insisted on it, I would cave and let her hire someone, but they weren't going to have a lot to do since I planned on doing a whole lot of nothing.

"Fine. So, we agree that I'll take the new job on the condition that I stay on as your assistant until the movie wraps. And I'll wait to hire the assistant until you get back. Right?

"Do you really think I'm that helpless?"

"No." She paused the way she always did when she was trying to choose her words carefully. She was a very deliberate person. "But I do think that you like to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt."

"And that's a bad thing."

"In this business, in your position, yes ."

"I can take care of myself."

I knew what, or should I say who, she was referring to. My mother. She'd spent the money I made when I was a minor on partying, and when I came of age and got access to my Coogan account, she talked me into putting the money into a joint account, and then she wiped that out, too. I managed to build back up my savings and made smart investments. Every few years, she came around, usually with a new guy and a new ‘business opportunity,' and most of the time, I gave her the money. I didn't do it because I thought she was ever going to pay me back or because I didn't know that she was taking advantage of me. I did it because I could, I had the money, and for better or worse, she was my mom. Her life wasn't easy. I remember living with my grandfather before I started doing commercials and we got our own place. It was not a happy home. He was violent when he was drunk, and he was always drunk. My grandma died when my mom was five, and after that, her life was bad. Really bad. That wasn't a blanket excuse for her behavior, but I did have empathy for her.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but I would just feel better if I vet applicants first."

I wasn't going to argue with her. Truth be told, I appreciated her wanting to look out for me. I didn't trust very many people in this business. Really, only two. Braxton and Wilma. My manager had never lied to me, never taken advantage of me, and she'd tried to protect me from my mom on more than one occasion.

"Where are you?" Braxton questioned. "I went to your room, but you're not there."

"I'm at the office."

"The office. Why?"

"I'm going over the auditions that came in today."

Jeanne had sent in all the top ten auditions for the main characters, which were Austin's fellow marines and Zoe. And, the supporting roles, including Walter and Austin's friends.

"You had to go back to the office for that?"

All of the auditions were sent as digital files that I could access from my laptop, so no, I did not.

"I'm showing Zoe the tapes we have for the people auditioning for her character."

"Oh, Zoe. That's…interesting."

There was a soft knock at the door, and my pulse sped.

"She's here. I gotta go."

"Have fun," she sing-songed.

I wanted to tell her that this was purely professional, but before I could, the call disconnected.

Oh well. Even if Braxton did have the wrong idea, she would never say anything. She was the epitome of discretion. Not that any was needed in this case. Unless you counted my dirty mind, which thankfully, no one had access to but me.

My palms were tingling as I walked to the door. I'd never had tingling palms before meeting Zoe, and now the suckers practically tingled all the time. When I opened the door, I was momentarily stunned, speechless. It wasn't the first time that Zoe had stolen my ability to form words or even breathe.

Zoe's long, brown hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders. She wore a white top that showed just a hint of cleavage. And a floral skirt that fell to her mid-thigh. The wedges she had on emphasized the feminine curve of her slender calves, and her toenails were painted a pale pink. I was used to seeing her in casual clothes, scrubs, jeans, and sweats. This softer side of her accentuated her femininity, and it awakened a very primal, caveman side in me. I wanted to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.

"Hi." She lifted her arm and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she dipped her head, revealing the sexy slope of her neck.

My mouth watered at the sight, like I was Robert Pattinson in Twilight.

"You look…beautiful." I knew it wasn't appropriate to say, but I couldn't help myself. She did.

Her face flushed as she ran her hands down her shirt. "Oh, thanks. I had the day off from work, and as I mentioned, AJ is at science camp, and Walter is on a fishing trip, so I had the house to myself and spent the day doing some self-care today. Sometimes it's nice not to be in scrubs."

"You look hot in scrubs." That was strike number two. I just couldn't stop myself from saying inappropriate things. If HR were here, they would have a field day.

Her eyes rolled dismissively. "No one looks hot in scrubs."

I stepped back and held the door open. "You do."

And that was strike number three. I wasn't sure why, but every time I opened my mouth, I flirted with her. It was a compulsion I couldn't stop.

Her eyes flicked up to mine as she walked past me, then looked around the space. "Wow, the last time I was here was for a field trip in elementary school. This place looks a lot better."

"It's worked out really well for us."

She bit her inner lip and shifted the weight of her body from one foot to another. "So, did you have tapes or…"

"Oh, right." I'd totally forgotten why she was here. The second I saw her; my mind went blank. She had that effect on me.

I pulled out a seat at the conference table in front of my computer that was set up with all the files ready to go. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Can I get you anything?"

"No. I'm fine. I had leftovers earlier."

"Are you sure? A water? Soda?"

She shook her head as she lowered down into the seat. "I'm good. Thanks. So, what am I supposed to be looking for? Is it the person who looks the most like me?"

"No." I shook my head. There was no way we'd ever find anyone as beautiful as she was. Thankfully, I was able to keep that observation to myself. "Just look for the person you think captures your spirit the most. That you feel could show the emotions of what you went through."

Her eyes widened slightly as she stared at the screen in front of her. "Oh, that's not gonna be fun."

"It is for an actor. The more emotional a character's arc, the better."

She laughed. "Well, then whoever gets this role, it's gonna be like Christmas and their birthday all wrapped up in one."

Damn, I wanted so badly to lean over and kiss her. It broke my heart the way she could make light of everything she'd gone through.

I pointed to the screen. "Those are the links to the top ten candidates the casting director sent. You can just click through them and let me know your thoughts. If you don't like any of them, we can send out another call for more submissions."

"Just click on it?" she asked as she moved the mouse, and the arrow hovered over the first hyperlink.

"Yep." I sat back in my chair, trying to get myself under control as the first actress filled the screen.

Zoe watched each performance twice. I was doing my best to pay attention and answer her questions, but I couldn't think straight. Not with her sitting so close. I was hyper-aware of her light floral scent, of the patterns of her breath, of every movement she made, every slight twitch, every time she shifted, every sound she made. I'd never felt so in tune with another person.

I wanted to know if she felt the same, but I knew I couldn't ask her. I couldn't cross that line. I had to keep my thoughts, my feelings, and most importantly, my hands and my lips to myself.