4. Shioh

Chapter four

Shioh

October

“Push, baby,” Logan coos, brushing hair from my sweaty forehead. “Come on, you’re so fucking close. You can do it!”

“I hate you.” I groan, shaking my head, my voice tight with pain and exhaustion. “I hate you so much.”

He nods solemnly, his eyes soft despite the tension in his jaw. “I know you do.”

I suck in a sharp breath as another contraction rips through me, the intensity of it stealing the air from my lungs. My whole body tenses, every muscle locked in a battle I can't control. I grip the edge of the hospital bed, my knuckles turning white, and let out a low moan, trying to breathe through the agony.

Logan’s hand is on my shoulder, his touch gentle but firm, grounding me. I want to push him away, to yell at him for putting me in this position, but I can’t. I need him here. I need him, even though I hate him right now.

No. I don’t hate him. I could never hate him.

The pain passes, and I blink up at him through my tears. “I love you so much.” I sniffle, wiping my snotty face. “I could never hate you. You’ve given me so much. Our boys, our daughter. The rescue. You’re amazing.”

His lip twitches, but he quickly squashes his smirk. “I wouldn’t have any of this life without you, Mrs. Huxley.” He presses his lips to mine, murmuring against them, “You’ve made my life the greatest adventure, baby doll. It’s all you.”

It’s not, though. I wouldn’t have an ounce of the happiness that consumes me without him. We’ve been together just over four years, but it feels like so much longer. It feels like I’ve known him my entire life. Deep down, I know even a hundred years with Lo would never be enough.

Growing up the way I did, I wasn’t sure I’d ever find true love or blissful joy. Now I have both. Our life may be chaotic and exhausting, but it’s perfect. Logan’s parents and brothers are just as much my family as they are his.

When they found out we were expecting again, they rallied to ensure Logan and I had everything we needed. Little did they know, what we needed was help creating and building an area for all our rescues to come home to.

Rescues my hormonal, pregnant mind refused to let go of.

Luckily, Lo’s mom was just as excited for the new adventure as I was. After months of work and planning, Huxley Habitat was born. Now, we use a good chunk of land to rehome abused and neglected animals. An entire team of volunteers have come to our aid, and just two weeks ago, we finally opened our doors to the public.

Just in time for the newest Huxley to join the world.

Another contraction jolts me back to the present and I breathe deeply, forcing myself to focus.

God, it hurts so fucking bad.

“You’re doing so good, Shiloh,” Logan says, his voice calm, but I can hear the edge of fear beneath it. He’s trying to be strong for me, but I can see it in his eyes—the helplessness, the worry. He’s scared too.

Anything could go wrong.

“Don’t,” I snap, the words escaping between gritted teeth. “Don’t tell me I’m doing good. This hurts, Logan. It hurts so much.”

“I know,” he whispers, his hand moving to wipe the sweat from my brow. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Shiloh.”

Shit. I hate this. I hate that I’m being awful to him.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I blink them away, refusing to let them fall. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to show how scared I am. But it’s all too much. The pain, the fear, the overwhelming reality that our lives are about to change forever— again .

The what-ifs.

No, don’t think about it, Shiloh. She’s perfect. She’s healthy.

“She’s almost here,” the doctor calls. “Just a few more pushes, Shiloh, and you’ll finally get to hold your baby girl.”

Another contraction hits, and I gasp, clutching his hand, squeezing it with all my might as if somehow I can transfer the pain to him.

“I can’t do this,” I sob, my voice breaking. “I can’t, Logan. I’m not strong enough.”

His eyes are shining now, tears threatening to spill over as he leans in closer, his forehead resting against mine. “You can, Shiloh. You are strong enough. You’re the strongest fucking woman I know.”

I shake my head, but I don’t let go of his hand. I hold on tighter, clinging to him as another wave of pain crashes over me.

“You b-better not know any other women, Logan Huxley,” I cry out. My body is on fire, every nerve ending screaming, but his presence keeps me grounded, keeps me from drowning in it.

“I don’t. No other women but you,” he promises, kissing my cheek. I barely resist the urge to bite him.

I suck in a harsh breath as the contraction ends. I know it’ll only be a few seconds before the next one hits, and it takes everything in me to push again when all I want to do is curl in a ball and sob.

“I’m here,” Logan whispers, his lips brushing against my temple. “I’m right here with you. We’re in this together.”

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over me, trying to find some semblance of comfort in them. I hate him for putting me through this, for making me hurt so goddamned badly, but I love him, too.

I love him so much it hurts.

“Just breathe, baby,” he murmurs, his voice soft and soothing. “We’re almost there.”

Another agonizing contraction hits and I give him a panicked look. “I can’t!” A choked sob wracks my body as I shake my head. “I can’t! I—”

“I choose you,” he whispers, cutting off my protest. Grabbing my face, he forces my eyes to meet his as he vehemently makes the declaration that started this so long ago. The one he reiterated at our wedding, and again when the boys were born. The vow he tells me when my heart breaks, when my world shatters, when everything falls apart.

And just like always, it never fails to stitch me back together.

“I choose you, Shiloh Huxley,” he promises. “I choose you as my friend, my partner, my wife. You are the mother of my children, my future. I choose you now, and I’ll choose you again and again, every day for the rest of our lives.” With a soft kiss, he braces my neck and knee. “Now choose our daughter, baby doll. It’s time to meet her.”

I nod weakly, focusing on his voice, on the warmth of his hand in mine. I can do this. I have to do this. For him, for us, for the little life we’re about to bring into the world.

With a deep breath, I push through the pain, clinging to Logan like the anchor he is. I’m terrified, exhausted, but with him by my side, I know I can make it through.

Together, we can face anything—even the unknown.

Even forever.