11. Rowan

CHAPTER ELEVEN

rowan

I shouldn’t have had dinner with his family. His mom is so nice. And his dad—he’s the same. I mean, his dad is quiet, but not like mine. He’s warm in a way that mine is cold. It’s very clear his wife and son are his entire life.

It makes my chest clench tight when I think about the dinner. How simple it was, but how watching them interact made me ache. I barely remember dinners with my mother, but I know they were close to that.

Something I haven’t had in a really long time.

And of course, it was Benny who gave it to me. I can’t get him out of my mind, and I cannot wait for the game to be over tonight so I can have two full days without him. I’m not even going to the party tonight. I’m going straight home for some Benny-free time.

Of course, fate would have other ideas. “Hey, you.” Bianca walks up to my locker, looking fresh and pretty in her cheerleader uniform, her hair braided and hanging over her shoulder.

“Hey,” I say quickly, closing my locker and already looking for an escape. Because that’s totally normal.

But all I find is Benny and those blue eyes pinning me into place. “So, I’m thinking about ditching the party tonight.”

“Me too,” I say distractedly and quickly realize my mistake when her smile grows exponentially.

“Oh really? That’s great!” Her eyes light up. “I thought we could go to a movie.”

Benny walks up just as she says that, his eyes less playful than they normally are. “He can’t,” he says far too easily to Bianca, like it’s totally normal for him to be speaking for me.

She looks over at him, a little confused, and folds her arms over her chest, looking pretty pouty. “Why not?”

I turn to look at Benny, who’s standing at my side, so close I can feel his body heat and that little tingly feeling I try to ignore. “What are you doing?” I say it under my breath, hoping Bianca doesn’t hear because I’m just as confused as she is. Maybe more so.

Benny just plays it off, pretty much ignoring me as he faces Bianca. “We already have plans for after the game.”

My jaw tightens, and I fight the urge to ask him just what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, but then I realize it’s giving me an out with Bianca, and part of me—okay a very large part of me—is grateful.

I don’t want another date with her. I don’t want to have to force myself to kiss her or touch her. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me. I don’t want to do it, but I’m short of excuses.

“Oh yeah?” Bianca asks, clearly suspicious. And why the hell wouldn’t she be? Benny and I are not friends. Everyone knows this. He’s a pain in my ass, and we’re on the same team, but that’s it.

“Yeah,” Benny says with a smile I think would pass as his usual playful one to most people, but I see it for what it is. He wants her gone. “So he can’t go to the movies tonight.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and my entire body stiffens. “Sorry.”

I could kill him. I probably should. Prison would be better than this—being on display like this in the hallway with people walking around and Benny with his arm around me like it’s no big deal.

“Well, what are you guys doing?” she asks sweetly, but I can see her hackles are up. She’s not thrilled at all with Benny intruding, and I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling right now.

Benny shrugs. “Just hanging out,” he says, and I internally curse. That doesn’t sound right. What teenage guy is willing to ditch a date just to hang out with a teammate? What the hell is he doing?

I’m panicking on the inside, hoping it’s not too obvious on the outside when Bianca’s eyes move to my face, studying me far too closely. But then she seems to come to her own conclusion and shrugs her small shoulders and looks over at Benny. “Fine. You come too then. I’ll bring my friend Kate, who would absolutely love your company, and we can double date.”

We both stand still, watching the petite cheerleader, and I know we don’t have an answer for her. How can we turn that down? The answer is we can’t without looking suspicious.

Not that anything is going on, but they’ll still talk if we say no. So before Benny can open his big mouth again, I speak up, “Sounds good. Let me know what time to be at the movie theater.”

I know she wants to ride with me, for me to pick her up like a normal date, but I can’t be alone with her and all her expectations again.

Benny pipes up, though, before she can open her mouth. “Yeah, text us what time to meet you all there.”

Her nose crinkles a little bit in confusion, probably wondering why the hell Benny is being so persistent and implying that we’ll be riding to the theater together. I’m hoping she just chalks it up to us leaving straight after the game or something.

Thankfully, she seems fairly satisfied with that and nods. “Can’t wait.” She winks at me and then takes off down the hall, and I turn to Benny, anger clawing at my insides. But I know eyes are everywhere, and I need to play it cool.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“You really going to tell me that you wanted to go on a date with her? You looked like you were looking for a hole to dig and hide in.”

He gets right up in my face because of course he doesn’t back down. I take a step back from him, hoping we don’t draw any attention. “A double date?”

He shrugs, like he’s trying to play it way cooler than he’s actually feeling, and I suspect that’s exactly what’s happening here. “Could be fun. I like Kate. She’s funny and pretty. God knows it’s been far too long since anyone has kissed me.”

I know that last part is aimed right at me, trying to get me to take the bait. The thought of him kissing anyone makes me sick. My fists clench at my sides, thinking about it and thinking about him begging me for just one kiss...

“Well then, sounds like I’ll be your wingman tonight then, McBride.” Can he tell my body hurts from every muscle clenching so tight with anger and just how badly I’m dreading tonight?

I hope not.

But when his blue eyes assess me, roaming all over my body, I know he knows exactly how I’m feeling and why.

But he also has to know I can’t do anything about it.

I couldn’t focus all day at school or the quick practice afterward. Or when I went home to eat a quick, light dinner before going to the high school to hop on the bus to take us to our first away game.

I sit with Vaughn on the bus, but my eyes are on Benny. How the hell can he be so calm? He looked perfectly fine all day, and at practice, and on the bus.

Maybe he really is looking forward to a date with Kate. A double date. What did he get me into? Not only will I have to sit there and try to ward off Bianca’s advances without hurting her feelings, but I’ll also have to watch Benny with Kate.

Will he kiss her? Benny is straight. I’ve seen him with his past girlfriends. It’s no hardship for him to be with a girl. The thought makes me sick to my stomach, and I almost lose my dinner when we walk off the bus and head into the visiting side’s locker room.

I hate this feeling. Being so out of control and not knowing what’s going to happen later. But I know I need to focus on the game, so I do my very best to get my head in the right zone as we all get into uniform.

“So, McBride, I heard you have a date with Kate.” Curtis just has to open his mouth as he tugs on his shoulder pads.

Benny grins over at him, and I can just tell he’s going to say something stupid even before he does it. “Aw, you jealous?” He waggles his eyebrows at Curtis, his shirt still off and his finely toned abs on display for my wandering eyes. “Of her or of me? Of her, right?”

“Shut the fuck up, McBride,” Curtis barks.

“Aw, don’t worry, Curtis. You’ll find someone to put up with your hairy ass someday.”

“Fuck you.” He starts toward Benny, and without thinking, I reach my arm out and block him from moving. I give him a stern shake of my head, and Curtis’s gaze snaps to me. “What the hell are you doing, Kincaid?”

“We have a game to focus on,” I say lamely, and he frowns but then grunts something I don’t care to examine before saying, “Whatever,” and turn back to getting ready. But I feel Benny’s gaze on me, heating me up from the inside.

I always feel his eyes on me. Everyone gets dressed, and we go through the usual pep talk with Coach and his assistant coach before everyone heads out to the field. But of course, Benny grabs my arm before he and I can leave.

“You in this?” For a moment, I don’t know what he’s talking about, and I’m worried he’s talking about this thing between him and me that we don’t talk about, but then I realize he means the game.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re thinking about me fooling around with Kate tonight right in front of you.”

Goddamn. Him . I’m struck stupid for a moment. Hating that he picked up on my thoughts and that he’s right. “I...” am at a total loss for words, and he knows it.

The fucker leans into me, giving me a whiff of his body wash or cologne—whatever it is, it makes my dick perk up, and my need for him grow even more. “I don’t want her.” He says it so seriously I feel a shiver run down my spine, and my breathing picks up, wanting so badly to just take what he’s offering. He leans in even closer, his breath puffing over my mouth. “There’s only going to be one person on this double date tonight whose lips I want on mine. And it won’t be Kate or Bianca’s.”

I swallow hard as he pulls back, his intense blue eyes locked on mine and deadly serious. This isn’t playful, flirty Benny. This is something so much more.

And it’s dangerous.