Chapter 16

Chapter

Sixteen

Aelin showed up at the rink on day two of hockey camp with a knot in her stomach. Ryan hadn't come to the door that morning, just waved from the car, which she hadn't thought much of until she'd heard Amaya and Bailey talking over breakfast.

He said people don't just join family vacations, but why not? He says he wants to go on a road trip, but it would just be me and him.

Then there had been a lot of whispering. Whispering was never good.

Aelin had tried to pull the information out of them when they were at the library that afternoon, but both girls insisted they didn't know what she was talking about. She finally gave up when she got another slew of forms in her email inbox and had to pull together every scrap of evidence she could think of to fight Clark on his outright attack on her in mediation.

He wanted to put the house up for sale on August tenth. It was a ridiculous request, but one she knew he could get away with. She didn't have the financial means to keep the house. Yes, she had a job now that paid the mortgage, but the taxes were high, and she hadn't paid the homeowners insurance. Since Clark had made his income look laughable, she couldn't request that he pay for those things, especially when he didn't have fifty-fifty custody during the school year. Having Bailey was the goal. But having Bailey also put her in a precarious situation where finances were concerned.

By the time she got to the rink, her brain was fried. Amaya jogged off to find her gear, and Bailey ran to the glass. Aelin followed, looking out over the rink and locking onto Ryan as he glided over the ice. He had two kids following in his ice tracks like ducklings.

Aelin turned to Amaya. "I thought the camp didn't start until three thirty."

Amaya looked up. "It doesn't, but he always does this."

"Does what?" Bailey asked.

"Finds kids who need help. When I was doing skating lessons, we'd always do free skate for a half hour after. Dad would have kids lining up to do lessons with him." Amaya found her gear and stacked it next to the bench.

Aelin smiled. "During free skate?"

Amaya nodded, and Aelin turned back to see Ryan cheering with his hands over his head.

"And the crowd goes wild!" He glided with one foot in front of the other in a perfect arc. "Let's try it again, this time, our turns are going to be tighter."

Aelin was fairly sure she spontaneously started ovulating. "Okay, let's get going." She spun from the glass and headed to the door.

With Ryan skating circles in her head, she didn't think twice about how simple it was to convince Bailey to leave compared to the day before. Bailey didn't say a word, only waved to Amaya and followed her to the front.

"Thanks for being onboard with waiting for next week to do hockey." Aelin pushed through the main door of the rink.

"You're welcome." Bailey walked along beside her. "Mom, I was thinking."

"Okay . . . "

"We haven't been to that ice cream place you love in a long time."

Aelin's brow furrowed. "Which one?"

"The one with the guy's name."

They crossed the street and walked toward her car in the back row of the parking lot. Guy's name. She flipped through her mental list of places. "Oh, Made by Marcus?"

Bailey's eyes lit up. "Yes! Can we go tonight after dinner?"

"I think it's a little closer to here than our house. Maybe we could?—"

"No, I want to eat something healthy first, and I know you have teriyaki chicken in the Crock-Pot, right?"

Aelin's eyes narrowed. "Since when do you want to eat something healthy?"

Bailey shrugged and hopped into the passenger seat. "Since now."

Aelin drove home, and Bailey insisted on taking a shower that lasted far longer than necessary. It was five thirty by the time they finally sat down for dinner.

"Mmm." Bailey sighed as she took her first bite of chicken and rice. "This is so good, Mom."

Aelin set her fork down. "Bailey, you're kind of freaking me out."

Bailey's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Aelin raised an eyebrow. "You never act excited about dinner?—"

"Don't use all-or-nothing statements."

Aelin pursed her lips. "Okay. You're right. It's rare for you to act excited about the food I make for dinner, and I usually have to beg you to get in the shower, especially since you saw that spider under your towel."

"I'm not afraid of them anymore. I saw that meme where it says, "What if the spider you just killed thought you were roommates.""

Aelin blinked. "Hmm. Haven't seen that one. "

"Do you want me to show you?" Bailey pushed her chair back, but Aelin stopped her.

"No, just eat. You can show me later."

Bailey glanced up at the stove, then sat back down and picked up her fork. She stirred her food together, then placed and replaced her tines until she had a perfectly balanced bite.

"There's nothing you want to tell me?" Aelin tapped her fingers on the table.

Bailey shook her head. "Nope."

They ate. Bailey continued taking dainty bites, chewing so slowly, Aelin felt like that bunny in Zootopia at the DMV. And then, all of a sudden, Bailey scooped the last of her dinner into her mouth and popped up from her chair. "I'm done. Let's go for ice cream."

_____

Aelin parked at the ice cream shop and nearly had a heart attack when Bailey bolted from the car, barely looking both ways before jogging to the door of Made by Marcus. When she finally caught up to her, Bailey was inspecting the ice cream flavours. "Not cool, Bailes. Parking lots are super dangerous."

"Sorry." She stared up at the sign, then asked to sample five flavours before Aelin finally cut her off.

"Just choose one or split a single scoop," Aelin instructed, then ordered her own scoop of Chinook Bee Pollen and Lavender.

Bailey walked up to the counter, then turned back to the door. "What time is it, Mom?" Her lip wobbled as Aelin took the cup of ice cream from the employee behind the counter.

"It's six thirty."

Bailey's brow creased. Her cheeks flushed pink, and tears welled in her eyes. Then she dropped her face into her hands and began to sob.

_____

Aelin stood next to Bailey in front of the park bench where Amaya and Ryan sat. Bailey was still sniffling even though she had a full cup of roasted strawberry buttermilk ice cream in her hand.

"Do you girls want to explain this?" Ryan's voice was gentle, but his jaw was tense.

"You went to the wrong location," Amaya snapped, her eyes flashing.

"I—" Ryan stopped short, running his hand through his hair. He was freshly showered from camp, and his hair hung loose to his shoulders. "You asked to go for ice cream, so we went to ice cream."

Bailey sniffed. "We thought there was only one of them."

"Obviously," Aelin muttered and took a bite of ice cream to hopefully tamp down her annoyance. "I don't understand why you didn't just ask if we could meet up."

"Because you would've said no." Amaya licked her spoon clean. Aelin frowned, but before she could open her mouth, Amaya pointed at Ryan and clarified. "He would've said no."

Ryan's neck flushed. "Amaya?—"

"You don't want to talk to her." Amaya pointed at Aelin, and Ryan's expression hardened.

"That's not?—"

"You stayed in the car this morning."

Ryan exhaled. "I'm not going to talk about this with you right now."

Aelin held up a hand, ignoring whatever was happening between Amaya and Ryan at the moment. He didn't want to talk with her? "I don't understand. Why did you two need us to meet?"

Amaya gave her dad a sidelong glance, then looked up at Aelin. "We want to come to the lake with you."

Ryan coughed on his ice cream. "Amaya?—"

"He switched his week off so it's the same as yours, and I don't want to go on a road trip. I want to go to the lake?—"

"Okay. Car. Now." Ryan stood from the bench.

Amaya's eyes grew glassy. "I'm sorry, Dad. I just thought if you talked with her you'd see that they want us to come. And then I could learn how to water ski—" Her voice caught, and she nearly choked as she started crying over her ice cream cup.

Ryan set his ice cream on the bench and pulled her against his chest. He exhaled, and it sounded a lot like, "What the hell is happening right now?"

Bailey looked up at Aelin, her eyes refilling with tears. "Mom?—"

"Hey, Ryan?" Aelin took her last bite of ice cream and dropped it in the trash can. "Can I talk with you for a second?" She pressed her hands into her hips and stalked toward a set of poles protruding from the ground that looked nothing like children's playground equipment.

Ryan settled Amaya on the bench, then followed after her. They stopped next to a blue spruce and stared at each other.

"Our children are psychopaths." She swallowed, her pulse jumping under her skin. All of Bailey's behaviour that day tumbled into place. The lack of resistance at dinner, the attention to time. She'd played her like a fiddle.

"Maybe goal-oriented is a better term?" Ryan put a scoop of ice cream in his mouth, and a little zing shot down her spine as he licked his spoon.

"Miscreants."

He nodded. "No hope for either of them." He scraped his cup and walked to the bin next to them, dropping it in. He moseyed back to stand in front of her. "I'm sorry about this. I think it was mostly Amaya's idea."

Aelin sighed. "No, I think Bailey might have been the instigator. She has cousins coming, but they're all older than her. The one closest to her in age is a boy, and while they always got along while she was younger, he's twelve now. I think she's nervous he'll be too cool to hang out with a little kid."

Ryan nodded. "Should we just stand here and pretend to talk for a bit? Then they'll have to accept the answer?"

Aelin wet her lips. "What is the answer?"

Ryan put a hand in his pocket. "No. I already told her it's your family vacation."

Aelin's insides started playing musical chairs to the tune of "Ryan at the lake? Ryan in a bathing suit?" The idea of him sitting in an Adirondack chair looking out over the water with her next to him made her brain short-circuit.

But it wasn't about that. They needed people to fill the cabins, didn't they?

"Well . . ." Aelin kicked a piece of mulch off the concrete. All the calculations she'd done to figure out exactly how many people would need to come for her to be able to pay her share of the cabin rentals flashed through her head. If they filled one more cabin, she'd be able to pay Mariah in only two installments. One at the end of July and one in August.

"Well, what?" Ryan studied her.

"It was supposed to be a family trip. It has been the past four years, but this year, my little brother bailed, and my cousin who usually comes with his family couldn't commit. So it's just my parents and my sister, but we booked six cabins.

"Okay."

Aelin swallowed hard. "So my sister Mariah and I have been scrounging for more people to fill the last three because we're on the hook for the full bill. My brother was supposed to bring some friends—anyway, it's a whole thing. We've asked around and haven't had any luck. "

Ryan blinked, still watching her.

She continued, "It's three hundred a night, and we have them for the whole week. I know that's pricey, but they're private cabins right on the lake. My sister's husband has a boat?—"

"Stop for just a second." Ryan's throat worked. "You're saying . . . that you're okay with us coming to the lake."

Aelin cocked her head to the side. "Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Ryan turned and stared out into the field, then swivelled back to face her. "I don't think it's a good idea."

Aelin frowned. "Why not?"

Ryan ran a hand through his hair, and his shirt lifted, exposing a strip of his stomach over the waistband of his jeans. Aelin quickly glanced away as he lowered his arms. "We barely know each other."

Aelin scoffed. "I know I like you better than some random person my sister might invite."

"Don't be so sure about that."

Aelin took a step closer. "What is there not to like? Our girls get along great. You're . . . you, and?—"

"I'm me?"

Aelin's throat went dry. "Yeah. Helpful. Nice. Not a murderer."

He blew a breath through his nose. "I'm not . . . that kind of guy."

"What kind of guy, Ryan?"

He turned, and his expression was thunderous. "A guy you want on a lake vacation."

Aelin chewed on this, trying to read between the lines. What kind of guy would she want on a lake vacation? She had no idea. Probably someone like her brother-in-law, Leo. Definitely not someone like Clark.

She exhaled. "I'm not a girl you want on lake vacations, either, okay?" Aelin paused, wondering how much she should share, but couldn't analyze fast enough to keep the words from spilling out. He'd already seen it anyway . "I cried all morning because I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my house. Last week, I cried because I imagined myself in ten years living alone with at least three cats because my daughter had gone off to college, or now I'm thinking possibly prison, and I had never figured out how to trust someone again. Next week? I'll probably unlock some new life fear that is close enough to reality to be terrifying. So maybe . . ." She shook her head. "I don't know, Ryan. Maybe we were meant to cross paths. Two sad people with daughters who are begging for girl energy in their lives that we can't give on our own. Maybe we just need to be open to what the universe is throwing at us. Maybe . . ." She pursed her lips. "Maybe this isn't about us."

She started back toward the girls, then paused and turned back to him. "But if it was, maybe I'd want to figure out how to be that girl again."

Ryan exhaled. "Time might be up for me."

She watched him a moment, then continued toward the bench.

_____

Aelin lay down on the bed after finally getting Bailey to sleep. It was ten thirty, and she felt like she'd just run a marathon.

She stretched out and pulled out her phone, tapping out a quick text to her sister.

I have someone who's going to take a cabin !

She couldn't believe Ryan had said yes. Both their girls had devolved into another round of tears, then chased each other like puppies, stopping only to hug their parents who were "the best ever" and making promises that they couldn't possibly keep, like "I'll never complain about anything ever again!"

Aelin waited for her sister to text back, but when she didn't see anything, walked into the washroom to brush her teeth.

I don't think it's a good idea , Ryan had said. Based on how her body responded, she knew it wasn't. It was like she was on a plane strapped to a skydiving instructor and no matter how much she protested, there was no way she wasn't jumping out of that plane.

She wasn't going to do anything about it. He was married, and until he decided not to be married, she wouldn't cross any lines. But it wasn't a crime to spend time together, and he obviously didn't have the same struggle with her. Just like Amaya had so aptly pointed out, Ryan didn't want to talk to her.

She picked up her phone, but instead of a message appearing on her screen, her sister's face in full Halloween makeup from the time she dressed as the Corpse Bride flashed in front of her.

"Hey," Aelin answered.

"Heeey, so, slight problem."

Aelin deflated. "Please don't say that, Mariah. I don't think I can take anymore bad news."

"No, no, sorry, it's great news. I found people for the cabins, too."

Aelin blinked. "Cabins? Plural?"

"Well, originally, I had planned to use all three?—"

"Mar! You didn't tell me that! I just offered one to a friend!"

"Aelin, let me freaking finish, please! I said originally . But then I talked with them after I saw your message, and their teenagers aren't coming since they have a football camp or something. So they only need the two cabins."

"Okay." Aelin exhaled. "So I can still use that third one?"

"Yep, it's perfect." Mariah yelled something to one of her kids, then came back with a "Sorry." Dishes clattered in the sink. "Who did you get to come?"

"Just a friend," Aelin said. "The guy I'm nannying for over the summer."

Mariah was silent for a beat. "Friend, huh?"

Aelin groaned. "Don't do that. If he's coming, you can not do that."

Mariah laughed out loud. "Okay, so he's definitely hot."

"Mar!"

"Okay, okay! I promise. I'll be on my best behaviour."

Aelin stared at her ceiling. "I'm not sure that's comforting."

"Tucker, do not—!" Mariah yelled into the speaker. "Sorry, I've got to run."

"Love you."

"Love you most."