Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

Ryan pulled up to Aelin's house just as the clock in his dashboard clicked to seven. He sat there for a moment, his hands glued to the steering wheel. He couldn't get the image of Kara writhing on the floor out of his head. He'd been exiting the elevator to the main floor of the building when the call had come through. Kara's caregivers had already tried Laura, but it was Thursday night. She was with Russ at a charity event in Canmore, so they'd called him next.

It wasn't optional. He had to drive there immediately. Every seizure she experienced had the potential to be life-ending, or at least to require medical power of attorney. He and Laura were both listed on all Kara's medical forms. Laura was listed on his, too. Thankfully they'd had the foresight to complete their wills after Amaya was born. It hadn't made navigating the endless string of advice from doctors and specialists easy, but it had made the legal side easier.

Tonight, they'd been able to stabilize her. By the time he'd arrived, she was already halfway gone from the sedation they'd resorted to after she'd nearly bit the face of one of the nurses.

Ryan dropped his head on the wheel and gasped for air. It felt like his insides were being sucked through his midsection, and in minutes he'd be an empty carcass. Like the moulted cicada skins he found glued to the cinder blocks of his front garden bed.

When he was finally able to draw a full breath, he forced himself out of the car and walked up the path to Aelin's. The idea of seeing her and needing to explain why he was an hour-and-a-half late picking up Amaya felt like a Swiss Army knife to the ribs, but he gritted his teeth and stopped in front of the door.

The muffled sound of a movie filtered through the door, and a warm glow seeped through the curtains. He raised his fist to knock, but the door opened before he could make contact.

Aelin stood there, her arms crossed over her chest.

Ryan's stomach dropped. "Hey." He paused, noting the glint in her eyes and considering his next words carefully. "I'm sorry I'm late."

Aelin's eyes flicked back down the hall before she stepped out onto the porch. "I tried to call you. I left a message."

Ryan nodded, his pulse quickening. "I know, I saw it. I'm sorry I didn't call you back?—"

"I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but I do have a life."

His mouth went dry. "I didn't think?—"

"I had a date tonight, Ryan. A first date. I had to cancel when my friends were already at the restaurant and send a babysitter home who was counting on earning money tonight."

Guilt and annoyance flashed hot through his chest. "Got it. Next time I'll ask my wife to put off her seizure by a couple of hours." Aelin reeled back like he'd slapped her, and he wanted to reach out and grab his words and cram them back down his throat. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn't do that either. If he opened his mouth, the dam he'd barely managed to build around the chaos swirling inside him was going to crumble, and he had no idea what would flood out first.

"I—" She swallowed hard. "I don't know what to say."

He turned, running a hand over his face. "You don't have to say anything." He stared at the sprinklers turning on one yard over. The hiss of water overpowered the sound of voices up the street, the misting droplets glittering in the softening sunlight. "I'm sorry I ruined your date."

Aelin stepped up to stand next to him. "I don't understand what the situation is. It might be good for me to know. Since Amaya's going to be here all summer."

Ryan's jaw worked. It was a fair statement. He'd told the story a hundred times at that point, but the words didn't seem to want to roll off his tongue. "My wife Kara is in assisted living. Amaya calls it a hospital, and they do offer medical care there, but it's a long-term solution. She had an aneurysm a few years ago and has permanent brain damage."

Aelin didn't turn to look at him. "How bad is it?"

He sucked in a breath. "It's not definable. She doesn't regulate emotions well. That's why we couldn't keep her home with us or with her parents. She gets violent. She knows who we are but doesn't have the ability to build or understand relationships."

Aelin leaned on the porch rail, blowing out a breath. "Ryan, I'm so sorry."

He let out a soft "hmm" then shoved his hands in his pockets. His head felt thick. "My mother-in-law, Laura, is there every day. She's the first emergency contact. They're at an event out of town tonight, so I don't anticipate this happening again."

"Ryan—"

"I can't make up for missing tonight, but I'd like to take the girls tomorrow night so you can go out then. And I'll pay your babysitter."

Aelin shook her head. "That's not?—"

"Let me do this. Please." His voice was low, teetering on the point of breaking.

He'd spent the entire day sending information back and forth with his team and the contractors mitigating the soil contamination, and nothing had been solved or decided. Then he'd gone straight to Kara where there weren't any answers .

Everything in his life was like a car engine that he'd torn apart, the pieces spread across his garage floor. But this part he could do something about.

Aelin worried her lower lip. "I don't know if tomorrow will work. But I can ask."

Relief washed over him, and he nodded, then pulled his wallet from his pocket. "Where does your babysitter live?"

Aelin looked as if she was going to protest, then closed her mouth and pointed up the street. "The blue house with the roses out front. But?—"

"I'll drop this off on my way home."