13. Arim

Chapter 13

Arim

D ays later, I stared at Lexa, wishing she'd say something. Since sharing more than I'd hoped she might, she'd turned steadfastly silent. Truth be told, I'd welcomed her quiet. At first.

Being around the woman I wanted to hate but couldn't was hard enough. Confusing emotions pressed me from every angle, making me second-guess my interactions with her throughout the years. That stirred up the past and caused me to wonder about the future.

For centuries, I had tried to bury my feelings for the slight female, lingering only on that one day when our world had gone horribly wrong. It had been hell to remember the loving, blue radiance of her gaze, the delight she took in spending time with her family, the bewitching softness of her skin.

From the first, I'd been enthralled. Her ties with Darkness had intrigued me on every level, my initial resistance to our differences nonexistent. Our innocent love had blazoned with the potential for so much more until the damning deaths of her foster family.

Deaths I'd always thought she'd caused.

Uncertainty gnawed at me. The more time I spent around Lexa, the more I doubted what I'd seen so long ago. A small glimpse into her mind had pushed my reservations, snowballing into the cauldron of doubt now boiling over. Because for all of Lexa's purported viciousness, I'd never actually seen her harm anyone except the Dark Lords and, well, myself.

Even then, she'd never done me any actual damage. Our battles had been fought fairly, Light against Dark. And just when Lexa had been granted an opportunity to kill not only Sin Garu, but me as well, she'd chosen to save me, granting her enemy's escape.

At what cost to herself?

That inconsistency I'd noted when making love to Lexa bothered the hell out of me. Regardless of the spell Sava had cast, disabling us from using magic, Lexa didn't look well. She was still sexy, still alluring in every sense of the word. But I could feel a subtle difference in her magic. I should have been pleased to finally be in a position of clear advantage. If her magic was off, the better for me. With us both mystically powerless, superiority fell on the shoulders of greater physical strength. Bottom line, in this contest, I was the winner.

So why did I want Lexa to engage me as an equal? Why wish she confront me, talk, or argue with me about anything at all? Just to prolong contact with her?

I grimaced at the ceiling in her bedroom, my hands clasped behind my head as I lay in her bed. We'd taken to keeping to ourselves. Me in the bedroom, she in the living room. I needed a clear head to think, and every time I laid eyes on her, remembrances of our lovemaking seared me. One look at her siren's face and body and I wanted to throw everything aside and finally slake my thirst for the contrary woman who bedeviled me by simply breathing.

I glared down at my rising erection, wishing I could get through even ten minutes without wanting her.

"Bring her back," Faustus had ordered. How could I do that when I couldn't even function around the woman without wanting to bend her over and command her sensual obedience?

While I lay trapped by a Shadow spell in the mundane world, Jonas and Sava were running amuck doing the Light knew what. I could only pray my nephews and sister kept Tanselm safe while I was stuck here with Lexa. Stuck with a woman I wanted to love with every fiber of my being. A foolish pursuit, but one I couldn't shake. And how stupid was that?

My frustration built. Something had to give. I wanted Lexa. I knew she desired me. Staying away from each other wasn't working. I had felt true peace the last time we'd touched. And damn it, I wanted to feel it again.

Desperation for something more hit me hard. For three hundred years, I'd been without Lexa by my side in my life. Now I had the chance to at least get the answers to the questions that had been plaguing me for so long. Never in a million years would I have expected an encounter like the one we'd had just a few short days ago. A perfect union followed by a brief moment of utter peace. So why was I avoiding her?

I eyed the closed door between us, knowing the truth I'd been unwilling to face for so long. I'm such a fool . I flushed at my cowardice, finally realizing the course I had to take if I ever wanted to be truly whole.

I had let her go once because I was confused — and afraid. That debilitating fear had returned after making love to Lexa again. I, Arim Valens, Guardian of Storm, Tanselm's most powerful sorcerer, allowed fear to rule me. Disgusted with myself, I cursed low and long. But my conscience refused to back down and forced me to look at myself.

Losing Lexa all those years ago had nearly destroyed me. It had taken everything I had to go on with my life, to build new safeguards around my heart and strive to be a better man. Facing Lexa now would force me to review my past actions. But I had to deal with her honestly and see where the truth would take us.

I sat up and swung my legs over the bed. Time was a commodity that worked in my favor in this plane, yet that wouldn't last forever. Who knew when Sava might return? I had spent a week trying to make the situation between me and Lexa go away. A fool's notion, surely. Because the tension between us existed, and the dangers outside this small bubble of Shadow waited for us still.

I stood, determined for the first time in days. I had to make the most of this opportunity. At least if I knew the truth, I could live content that I understood why Lexa had done what she had. That had bothered me more than anything, that I'd misjudged what my heart had told me. The key would be to get Lexa to tell me what I needed to know.

The time had come to start acting like a man, to take charge of this mess and make sense of an inevitable confrontation. With determined strides, I left the bedroom only to find Lexa curled up on her couch, covered in pillows that did little to conceal her curvy shape.

I stared down at her, a curious melting in the core of my heart. So beautiful, so vulnerable…

I leaned down to stroke her soft black hair, unable to help myself. The minute we touched, the soft frown on her face faded. She gave a breathy sigh that went straight to my dick, and I both cursed and thanked Sava for this golden opportunity.

My gaze fell on a piece of the Dark-hide Lexa had taken with her. It sat next to the couch on her coffee table, and I had a sudden desire to use it.

A plan formed, an outlandish idea I'd fantasized about for years. Lexa responded to me physically, so why not use that to my advantage? She'd never tell me what I wanted if I asked straight out. The Light knew I'd asked her plenty of times before, to no avail.

My cock throbbed at thoughts of dominating my little Dark Lord. Hell, I might be more like Aerolus than I thought. I gathered Lexa in my arms and sucked in a breath at the rightness of our contact. I ached to possess her, to feel her cool skin sliding against my own as I took what had once been mine.

"And soon will be again," I murmured, kissing her forehead when Lexa frowned in sleep. She calmed instantly and snuggled closer, her breasts brushing my chest, stimulating me with each breath she took.

I hate to say it, but Sava was right. This has gone on too long. One way or the other, Lexa and I are going to find the truth. Either way, I'm finally taking what's been denied me for so long. The pleasure in Darkness only Lexa can show me.