Chapter 36

Chapter

Thirty-Six

R ixx steeled himself to turn to Myrria, but it was Zala who threw herself at him, wrapping her thin arms around his legs.

"I don't want you to go." Her voice was muffled as she pressed her face into him.

Rixx felt her shoulders shaking, and put a hand on her head. Before he could tell her that he did not want to leave her either, Myrria sighed.

"He has to go, Zala." She came up and put her hands on her daughters shoulders. "It's too dangerous on Kurril for him. We've always known this."

Zala tipped her head back to meet his eyes. "We could hide him. We've hidden him for this long already."

Rose made a sound in the back of her throat. "You won't be able to outsmart the Zevrian search parties forever. They've been getting closer to this part of the city. I'm hoping we can successfully avoid them to get Rixx to the shipyard."

Myrria squeezed her daughter's shoulders. "Which is why he needs to go soon. We don't want him to get caught after keeping him safe for so long, do we?"

Zala reluctantly shook her head, and Rixx could see the sadness in her eyes. He did not want to presume that he had been like a father figure to her, but he was probably the only male she'd had in her life. Her father had left her, and now he was leaving her. The thought twisted his insides.

Even if he could take Myrria and her daughter with him on the bounty-hunting ship—and he wasn't sure if there was room for the two—it was a lot to ask of them.

Myrria had spent years building up a life on Kurril complete with a business and friendships. It might not seem like much to some, but he knew she was proud of what she'd built on her own. She had a cozy home and now she had a working sewing machine so she could take on more work. There was none of that on the ship.

As much as he loved living in space, all the bounty hunting ship had to offer was spartan, compact quarters and dangerous adventures. There wasn't much need for a seamstress who specialized in elaborate costumes, and it wasn't much of a life for a child. Not to mention the fact that there were no other children who weren't babies.

Rixx could not promise safety or stability on a ship that traveled the galaxy looking for bounties. He loved the constant adventure, but he did not imagine that was something that was high on the list for a mother trying to provide a stable life for her daughter.

He told himself that his leaving was for the best—for him, for Zala and Myrria, for the crew waiting for him. Once he was gone, he would be safe and so would the mother and daughter who had saved him.

"I am grateful for all you have done for me." He looked at Zala and then Myrria. "You saved me, and I will never forget either of you."

Myrria's jaw was tight as she nodded. "I am glad you will be reunited with your crew. Kurril was never the place for you."

Rixx did not know if it was the place for anyone who wasn't a criminal or opportunist. "You will be okay—?"

"We will be fine," Myrria said before he could finish his question. "The Zevrians are not hunting for us." She flicked a glance at the man bound on the floor. "And everything that made my life more challenging has been handled."

Rixx felt a strange surge of regret mixed with pride. He did not know if she regretted losing the man she'd thought was her husband or if she regretted hitting him, but it was clear she was pleased to be on her own again. He hoped her regret would fade with time.

He met her gaze, pretending that Zala was not watching him. "I will never regret any of the time I spent in this house or with you and Zala."

Her breath caught in her throat. "I will always have the fondest memories of your time with us."

Despite the emotions roiling beneath the surface, Rixx could not tell her what he wished to say. He could not tell her that the night they spent together was the best of his life or that he had never felt for anyone the way he felt about her. He could not pull her into his arms and beg her to come with him, even though that was what his primal instincts were insisting he do.

He could not do any of that because he knew it was not fair to her. He could not offer her the life she wished for Zala. He could not guarantee their safety. He could only promise her that he would adore her, and after the empty promises she'd been told for so long, he feared that those words would not be enough.

Rixx bit his lip to keep himself in check and gave Zala another pat on the head, his gaze never leaving Myrria.

"We should go," Rose said almost apologetically, her soft voice cutting through the tension.

Myrria pulled Zala from Rixx, and the girl ran from her mother and scampered up the ladder to the loft.

Rixx watched her, his own heart breaking as he heard her muffled sobs.

"She will miss you," Myrria said.

Rixx wanted to ask if she would also miss him, but he could not bear to utter the words. Instead he released a heavy breath. "I will miss you both."

Then he forced himself to flip up his hood and walk to the door where Rose waited for him, stepping outside without looking back.