Chapter 14

GRIZZ

Lexi convinced me that having Luna in the meeting today would show solidarity, but I'm not so sure as I shake hands with Becki. She's smiling in an unsure way that tells me she's nervous about being here. I offer her a drink and try to put her at ease, but I'm sure being in a biker club was not on her bucket list.

Luna is already seated in the office and she looks sick with nerves, but at least she looks a little less of a mess. She offers a shaky hand to Becki, who takes it and lowers into the seat beside her. "How are you?" she asks.

"Not great," Luna mutters. "How's Ivy?" Her eyes light up whenever she says her daughter's name, which angers me more. She has no right to act as though she loves her when she's let her down.

"She's absolutely fine. She went into temporary emergency foster care. The family is very experienced with babies, so she's in good hands. Are you living here?" Becki asks, pulling out a notepad. Thinking of Ivy with strangers makes my mood worse.

Luna looks at me for instruction. "No," I reply for her. "She's staying here until she's back on her feet."

"Okay. And what does that look like, Luna?" she asks.

Again, Luna looks unsure, so I clear my throat. "A good job. Paying bills. Providing for Ivy."

Becki smiles at me. "If you could let Luna answer?"

Luna knots her fingers together nervously. "She's a selective mute," I say.

This gets Luna's attention and she frowns before sitting up straighter. "I want to get a job," she begins. "I tried, but it's hard when you've not had much experience anywhere."

"That's a good start," Becki says with a smile, making a note in her pad. "I can get you some support for that."

"I'll get her a job," I cut in before Luna can respond. She closes her mouth and folds her arms over her chest in a way that reminds me of a sulky teenager.

Becki closes her notepad. "Can you show me where Ivy will be sleeping?"

We head upstairs, and when I open Ivy's bedroom door, Becki smiles wide. "This is beautiful."

"She'll be in my room," I tell her, opening the conjoining door to the room where Luna once slept and pointing to the Moses basket beside the bed. "Until she's old enough to sleep in her own room."

"Perfect," says Becki, and she takes a deep breath. "Ivy can come and stay here. We can release her into your care," she says, looking directly at me. "And although we're more than happy that Luna will be a part of Ivy's life, for now, that will have to remain under the guidance of yourself and social services."

"What does that mean?" asks Luna.

Becki gives her another sympathetic smile. "You won't be able to be alone with Ivy for long periods of time."

Luna chokes on a sob and tears form in her eyes. "I'd never hurt her."

"No one is saying that," Becki rushes to reassure her, "but it's clear that you weren't coping on your own. It's great to see you now have support, and eventually, I'm certain you'll get back to where you were. So, the conditions of Ivy being able to come here is that Luna is not left alone with her for more than an hour at a time. There will be drop-ins from either myself or another social worker in the area. We'll do regular checks to make sure you're meeting Ivy's needs."

"How long will this last?" I ask.

"Until we're happy things are on track."

"When will she be home?" asks Luna.

"Tomorrow."

Axel calls church,and once we're all in, he explains to the guys the situation with Luna, also warning them to stay away from her. She's vulnerable right now, according to him, but I don't see it that way.

"And that brings me to her brother."

I bristle at those words. "That fucker is gonna die. He's the reason Ivy got taken into care. I think he thought having her out the way would make Luna more compliant as she'd have nothing else left. He's had two run-ins with me now, once outside the clubhouse and the other in front of Luna. It meant I couldn't end the fucker."

"You know it don't work like that, Grizz," says Axel. "We gotta vote."

"Is he a threat to the club?" asks Cash.

Axel shakes his head. "Not yet."

"He pulled a knife on me," I say. I'd kept it from Axel because I felt like a fucking pussy letting him walk away, but I couldn't end him in front of Luna and give her something to hold over me. I explain just as much when he fixes me with a quizzical glare. "I don't think he'll be happy I'm holding his sister here either."

"Why are we holding her here exactly?" asks Fletch.

"You don't care about her safety, Fletch?" I ask, arching a brow. "You seemed so keen to get in her knickers."

"Cos she's a club whore, man."

I growl, reaching for him, but Axel stops me, slamming me back into my chair. "We're not turning on one another over a woman. Especially one no one has claimed." He fixes me with a stare, and I back down. "I know you're not gonna like what I have to say, brother, but taking out Nate isn't on the list of priorities. We need you here, not back inside over some fucker just cos you don't like him."

"It's more than that," I snap, annoyed he'd think it's over a simple grudge. "He's pimping Luna out, and wasn't this whole bullshit experiment so that we treat the women more like family?"

"VP, I was tryin' to keep my woman happy. And maybe I hoped one of the women was the reason the coppers were still watching us, but nothing came to light, which means we go back to business as usual."

I stand. "I'm sure Lexi will be thrilled." I storm from the office, crashing right into Lexi. I steady her and mutter, "Sorry."

She smiles. "Where's the fire?"

"Did you know Pres is pulling the men off club girl watch? All that bullshit about treating them like family was crap to keep you happy."

She narrows her eyes. "What?"

"I got fully invested in Luna, for what? For him to say we can't actually protect her?"

The door to church swings open and Axel fills the doorway. "What the fuck are you bitching about, VP?" he barks.

"You scrapped my idea?" Lexi asked, sounding hurt. "So, what, you were just doing it to keep me quiet?"

"Of course not, Mouse. He's just pissed I won't let him go on a rampage."

"You're a prick, yah know that?" she spits, storming off.

"Great, thanks for that," he growls, shoving me hard. "Throwing me under the bus won't make me give in. You stay the fuck away from Nate, am I clear?" I stare at him, anger radiating from me. "Are we fucking clear, VP?" he roars.

"Yes, Pres," I spit, storming off.

LUNA

I wakewith a start to find Grizz standing over me. I scoot away, confused by his angry glare, and he immediately steps back, showing me he isn't here to hurt me. "What are you doing in here?" he asks.

I look around, remembering I snuck into my old room, the one I shared with Ivy, while he was in church. I must have fallen asleep. I push to sit up and realise I'm still clutching Ivy's blanket. "It smells of her," I whisper, staring at it. "I just needed to smell her."

He gives a stiff nod and takes a seat in the rocking chair. "We need to talk about what happens next."

"Okay."

"I don't want you alone with Ivy at all."

My heart breaks some more. "I'm her mother, Grizz. I've been raising her alone all this time."

"And a fine job you did of that," he mutters, rubbing at his forehead. "I just can't work out why you didn't tell me."

"So, now, you're going to punish me and keep me away from my daughter."

He fixes his angry eyes on me. "Our daughter, and you didn't seem to mind keeping me away."

"Only I didn't, did I? You were in her life."

"But not as her fucking dad," he yells. "I'm not punishing you, Luna. I'm keeping Ivy safe."

"You heard Becki, she said I can be alone with her for short periods. I'm not a risk to my own daughter," I cry, tears of frustration falling.

"And she also said Ivy is being put into my care. So, while she's in my care, I get to make the decisions. You're not to be alone with her. You'll work in The Bar for me and get your life together. And then I want you out of here."

My heart twists. "I'm getting her back," I whisper. "This isn't a permanent thing."

He sneers. "You really believe that, don't you? Your life is a fucking mess. Just look at your mum and the support you don't have. You'll end up just like her."

I get up from the bed. "You're wrong," I mutter, leaving the room.

I head downstairs and straight for the bar. "Whiskey," I mutter, taking a seat. Smoke pours me half a tumbler, and I take it gratefully, drinking half down and wincing as it burns my throat.

"Careful there. That stuff's the real shit, not that watered-down crap you get in bars nowadays." Cooper sits beside me and orders the same. I drink the rest and hold up my glass for a top-up. Grizz's words are swimming in my head, and I can't help but think he's right. The self-doubt is too strong to ignore.

"Yah know," Coop adds, sipping his own drink, "whatever it is, you won't find it at the bottom of a bottle."

I sigh heavily. "You sure, Coop? How do you know?"

"Cos I've been there," he tells me. "And I've also witnessed it. Drinking your problems away won't get you the end result."

"It's not the drink that'll stop me seeing my baby girl, it's Grizz."

"And you're just gonna let him?" he asks, swirling his drink around in the glass.

"He'll fight me. I can't afford lawyers and court costs. She's already been removed from my care—the courts will side with him over me."

He sits back in his chair. "I would've given anything for Widow to fight for Lexi. I was in a similar situation to you and Grizz, and I trusted her to fix up and take care of our daughter. After I left, she just got worse. I came back and took Lexi, and she didn't even put up a fight. It was like she was glad to see the back of us."

"I don't want to leave Ivy," I say, more tears falling. "It's not my choice."

"But it is," he says, gently placing a finger under my chin and turning me to face him. "You're a queen, Luna, and you need to straighten that crown and fix up. Prove to Grizz that you're a good mum. Don't let one mistake define how this will go. Because if you do, you're gonna wake up twenty years from now and realise you've repeated history. Break the cycle, Luna. Fight for what you want." He finishes his drink and stands. "I know you're a good mum cos I saw it with my own eyes. Fight for your daughter so she knows, even if you don't win, you at least tried."

I stare into my glass as Lexi fills the vacated seat. "That looked serious," she says, staring after her dad. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head. "Not really."

"Me either. Axel is a complete knobhead. What's Grizz done?"

"Do you hate Widow?" I ask.

The question surprises her and she frowns. "I don't hate her, but I don't love her either."

"Would you change it, your upbringing and past?"

She smiles, shaking her head. "No. Widow never put me first. Dad always did. He left this life for me so he could raise me safely. Widow couldn't even put down a drink to feed me. But if it hadn't been for my history, I wouldn't have made it back to the club and I wouldn't have found Axel again. So, in some ways, I'm grateful she was my mum, but not for the reasons I should be . . . if that makes sense."

"Grizz doesn't want me in Ivy's life."

"He said that?"

I shake my head. "Not exactly, but it's what his end goal is. He doesn't want me to be left alone with her. He's giving me a job at The Bar, and when I get back on my feet, he wants me to leave."

"Without Ivy?"

I nod. "He said I'll end up like my mum."

She scoffs. "I didn't."

"But you got away. I've been in this life so long, I'm not sure how to get out. I tried . . . God knows I tried, but no one wants to employ a prostitute. I have zero experience in anything but lying on my back."

"That's not true," she says. "You're a businesswoman." I laugh at her words. "You handle money, you book in clients . . . take those skills and apply it to something else. You make bread, right?" I nod. "Then get a loan and start up a breadmaking business."

I give a defeated laugh. "That's way out of my league. Besides, who would offer me a loan?"

She shrugs. "I don't know, but there must be some scheme out there to help you. I'll look into it. In the meantime, prove to Grizz that you're not giving up. That's what I would've wanted my mum to do, to fight for me."

I head back upstairs, grab a notepad, and begin coming up with ideas. If I can work out some figures, maybe Lex is right—maybe I can follow my dreams and prove Grizz wrong.

I'm so lost in numbers, I don't notice Grizz standing in my doorway sometime later. I glance up when he clears his throat. Cali is hanging off his arm, and I ignore the ache it causes. She gives me a sympathetic look before telling him she'll wait in her room for him.

"I shouldn't have been so harsh back there," he says, but his face isn't giving me apology vibes.

"No problem."

"But even you have to see there's some truth to it. Ivy needs stability. She needs a parent who'll put her first."

I tap the pen on my chin. "How much do you think a food van would be?"

He frowns at my random question. "What?"

"Yah know, a food van, like with an oven and stuff."

"Why?"

I pick up my phone and tap it into a search engine. "I'm over it," I mutter, flicking through the pictures of used vans. "And for the record, I gave Ivy stability in the beginning, I just got a little off track."

"She got put into care," he says bluntly.

"She did," I say, nodding, then I look up at him. "I messed up. That won't happen again."

"Sure," he says, rolling his eyes.

"And if you think I won't bring up your past in court—and the fact you're quite happy to fuck prostitutes, hence how Ivy came to be—you're mistaken. Because I might suck cock for a living, Grizz, but I spent many years being silent while the men around me talked. I know so much about you and your past, it's enough to put you back inside."

He closes the gap between us, his face full of rage. "Are you threatening me?"

I nod. "Yeah, I think I am."

"You have no idea what I can do to you."

I smirk. "I think we just established I do know. And for the record, stick your fucking job up your arse."