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Chapter 12

GRIZZ

Danii crawls over my naked body, licking her tongue over my muscled abs. My cock twitches, but it's not raging hard like it should be at having this beauty stripped down to her underwear.

She sits over me, making sure her pussy is level with my cock, and she gently rocks against me. "I've been waiting for this," she whispers, running her hands over her bra and pulling the straps down.

I give my head a shake, trying to clear the images of Luna. Cos since she left the clubhouse a week ago, she's completely filled my head. I grab Danii by the waist and switch us so I'm hovering over her. Maybe I need control. She giggles as I unclip the front clasp of her bra and her breasts spring free. I stare. All I have to do is fuck her. If I fuck her, I'll stop thinking about Luna.

I dip my head and take her nipple in my mouth. She gasps, arching her back, and I release it, noting my cock isn't hard enough. I move down her body, parting her legs and settling between them. She waits in anticipation, and I can smell her arousal. That alone should have me fucking hard, but it doesn't. I groan, pushing up off the bed to begin pacing her room. It's pink and girly, and weird for an adult, but I haven't questioned it.

"Everything okay?" she asks, pulling a sheet over her half-naked body.

"No," I mutter, rubbing my forehead. "I'm fucking this up."

"Maybe I've put too much pressure on you," she says, her voice wavering. It makes me feel like a bigger prick.

"It's not you." She rolls her eyes, and I wince at my choice of words. "It's really not, Danii. You're beautiful and I can't believe you wanna be with me. But, right now, I'm a fucking mess."

"Talk to me. I might be able to help."

I begin to dress as she watches with disappointment clear on her face. "I don't know if I fit here," I say, looking around the room. Last night, we had dinner at her parents again, and she introduced me to her cousins and aunts. It was a real family affair and it made me realise it's not for me. "And more importantly, I don't know if you fit into my world."

"You haven't given me a chance."

I nod. "I know. It's all on me. But I can't fuck you knowing I might not be as into this as you are."

"So, that's it? You're ending it without giving us a chance?"

I inhale then nod. "I guess I am. I'm so sorry."

I leave, hating the hurt on Danii's face. That's two women I've fucked over in a week, and I feel like a massive prick.

I head to the nearest bar. It's next door to The Zen Den and it's way too posh for me, but I need some peace and good whiskey and this place offers both.

By the timeI get back to the clubhouse, I'm exhausted. Wanting someone while telling yourself you don't want them is hard work. So, when I step into the clubhouse and find Luna in the doorway looking frantic, my heart leaps in surprise.

She turns to me. "Thank god, I need your help."

My eyes travel over the parts of skin I can see. Her face, her neck, her arms . . . they're all covered in bruises. "What's wrong?"

"Social services took Ivy."

I frown as I process her words. "What? Why?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is you need to go and get her back. You can't let them take her to a foster home."

"Me?"

"Yes. They'll give her to you."

"Why would they do that, Luna? What the fuck is going on?"

Axel steps from his office. "Everything good?"

"Ivy's been taken into care," I say, the words angering me. "Why did they take her, Luna?"

She grabs my arm and tears spill down her cheeks. "Please, Grizz, go and see this lady." She pushes a piece of paper into my hand. "First thing tomorrow."

"And say what?"

"That you're Ivy's dad and you can look after her."

LUNA

2 hours earlier. . .

Hours . . . it feels like hours since I was forced into my bedroom by Nate's ‘friends'. After I returned last week, Nate's been extra hard on me. That first night, he must have told his friends to punish me because I've never been so messed up in my life.

And it's been a similar scenario all week.

And just when I thought it wouldn't get worse, he sent four of his friends. Four men in the space of an hour is way more than my body can handle, and as the last guy shoves me from him, I fall onto my mattress and curl into a ball.

"You're losing your touch," one sneers as he dresses. "Getting as beat up as your mum."

He's right, this last week away from Grizz has taken a toll. I'm tired and hungry, and the men coming to see me are relentless.

I wait a good five minutes to make sure they're gone before pulling on my dressing gown and going up to Mum's flat to get Ivy. Nate takes her each day and gives her over to my mum, and even though she despises kids and has no bond with Ivy, she agrees to watch her because it means she doesn't have to have sex with the men.

"Mum," I call out.

I stop in the doorway to the living room to find two police officers and a lady who has Ivy in her arms. Nate is next to Mum, who is passed out on the couch. He gives me a smirk. "Here she is. Told you she'd be back."

All eyes turn to me, and I pull the dressing gown tighter around myself. I can feel them judging me. "What's going on?"

"Luna Carter?" the woman asks, offering a friendly smile. I nod. "I'm Becki Alcott from Social Services."

My blood runs cold as I stare at Ivy safely wrapped in a blanket in this stranger's arms. "Okay," I whisper, fear gripping me.

"We were called today to run a welfare check on Ivy."

"By who?"

"It was anonymous," she says gently.

"Can I have her?" I ask, making a move towards her. The police officer steps between us and the seriousness of this situation hits me like a tonne of bricks. They're going to take my baby. "Why can't I have her?"

"Where have you been today?" Becki asks.

I glance at Nate, who's looking smug, and it crosses my mind that he's done this so I'll have nothing to hold me back. My tears begin to flow silently down my cheeks. "I left her with my mum," I whisper.

"Your brother tells me you work from your own flat upstairs. Can we see it?"

I give a slight nod. The flat is a mess, I haven't had time to clean up, and sometimes the men who come order food for themselves and leave their rubbish behind. But refusing these officials will make the judgement worse. It's only a little mess after all.

I lead them up to my flat, with Nate following. As we get inside, he pinches my upper arm hard. "Keep me out of it," he hisses.

I stop in the hall and push Ivy's bedroom door open. It's the only room I know is clean, and Becki smiles. "It's beautiful."

When I don't move farther, the police officer pushes me to one side and they go into the living room. I stand in the doorway and take in the scene. Empty food cartons are stacked and there're ashtrays overspilling onto the table. There're two dirty bottles of Ivy's next to them, and the police officer begins to snap photos.

"What are you doing?" I demand, trying to pull his arm.

The other officer pushes me back. "You need to remain calm or you'll be coming with us," he warns.

I watch as he moves things from the table to reveal more mess. He lifts a glass coaster and takes a picture of the powdery residue. "That's not mine," I argue. "I don't do drugs."

Becki gives a smile that says she doesn't believe me. "Where does Ivy sleep?" she asks. "In her room?"

I shake my head. "Mine," I mutter. They head that way, and I don't bother to follow because I already know it's a state. There are at least three empty vodka bottles along with sex toys on the bed, and the sheets are a mess. I didn't see the point in washing them when there are so many visitors.

When they return, they're wearing grave expressions on their faces. "Is there anyone other than your mother who looks after Ivy?" I shake my head. "You have sole custody?" I nod. "In that case, we'll be taking Ivy into care today under the Child Protection Act. We will also be applying to the courts to ask for an emergency care order to be put into place. We're doing this because we believe Ivy to be at significant risk of harm and neglect." I sob, sickness filling my stomach. "I'll call to let you know when the hearing will take place, but they're usually in front of a judge pretty fast, so make sure you answer my call and get yourself some representation."

"What . . . I don't understand," I cry, her words feeling jumbled.

"Give me your telephone number and we'll be in touch. It's important you attend the court hearing. In the meantime, if you think of anyone who can take care of Ivy, let us know. We'll consider immediate family."

Present time

Grizz stares at me,and there's a storm brewing, I can see it in the way he balls his fists by his sides and his eyes narrow. "What did you just say?" It's spoken in a low, menacing voice, one I'm sure I should be terrified of, but since they took my baby, I have nothing left, especially not fear.

I wipe my face with shaky hands. "I was scared you'd run a mile," I explain. My entire body joins my hands, shaking so hard, my teeth clash together. "I thought you'd hate me."

"But we didn't . . . we never had unprotected sex."

I glance around and note Axel is now joined by a few of the other brothers. Humiliation courses through me. "Don't look at them," Grizz barks, causing me to jump at the tone of his voice. "Look at me."

I raise my eyes to his. "When you got out," I whisper.

He grabs my upper arm and shoves me towards the office. Axel steps to one side. "You gonna stay calm?" he asks Grizz, who gives a slight nod. "I'm right out here," he warns, closing the office door so we're alone.

"You're hurting me," I whisper.

He shoves me away from him like the trash he thinks I am. "I always use protection," he spits.

"We did at first, but you woke in the night and I didn't realise."

"You didn't notice I was fucking bareback?" he shouts angrily. "I was clearly hammered, Luna. Why the hell didn't you stop me?"

"I didn't realise."

"You did it on purpose," he yells, slamming his hands against the desk.

I shake my head. "I'd never do that."

He takes a deep breath. "Okay, so when you realised, why didn't you take care of it?"

"I meant to," I say, a fresh round of tears flowing. "I was busy at Zen, and my brother was on my back. I just got in a mess. I thought it'd be okay."

"Why didn't you get rid of it?" he shouts.

"Because I didn't find out until I was too far gone. Look, I just need you to get her back for me," I cry. "Ivy can't go into care. I'll never get her back if that happens."

He moves close, pushing his face into mine until my back hits the wall. "Oh, I'll get her back," he says, and I relax slightly, "but you're not going near her." His words are like ice, and I stare into his cold eyes. "You're not fit to be her mother."

"Grizz," I whisper.

"Tell me why they took her," he demands, stepping away and pacing the office. "Cos they don't do that lightly."

"Mum wasn't looking after her," I say.

"Your mum?" I nod. "The prostitute junky?"

"She agreed to watch her for an hour."

"And what were you doing?" I look at the ground. "What. Were. You. Doing?" He's back in my face, anger radiating from him.

"Working," I whisper.

"For your brother?" I give a nod.

His fist smashes into the wall right beside my head. I duck, covering my head and squeezing my eyes closed. I knew he'd react badly, but I'd hoped he'd be more concerned about Ivy than what I kept from him. Axel charges in and puts himself between us. "Relax," he warns.

"Get her out of my sight," Grizz yells, stalking towards the window and keeping his back to me.

Axel gently guides me from the office and closes the door. "What's he need to do to get Ivy back?" he asks. His sympathy causes my tears to flow faster until I'm gulping in air. "Focus," he says firmly as Lexi comes over with a tissue.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my copy of the social worker's details. "He should contact her. She has all the details of the court hearing."

"Court?" he repeats, frowning.

"It's procedure," Lexi explains. "A judge has the final say on Ivy's future."

"Will he let me have her back?" I ask.

She gives my arm a rub. "No, sweety. They don't remove children from their mother lightly. A judge will consider what's best for Ivy. If I was you, I'd get on board with whatever they suggest you do to be seen as fit again. It's not going to be a quick fix. You'll have a lot of hoops to jump through and some changes to make."

"I'll do anything," I whisper.

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