Chapter 11

GRIZZ

"That was a little harsh," Danii says as I unlock my bedroom door and usher her inside.

"She's thick-skinned, she can take it," I mutter, but she's right, it was a shit thing to say and if I could take it back, I would. But it's too late. I let jealousy get the better of me.

I pull Danii into my arms and kiss her. Taking her face in my hands, I brush my thumbs over her cheeks as I angle her face enough for me to take the kiss deeper than we've ever taken it before. I feel her melt against me then I pull back slightly, smiling at the blush creeping along her cheeks.

She chews on her lower lip. "I want to," she glances at my bed, "but I need to know something."

"Anything," I murmur, gently kissing her nose.

"Is there anything between you and Luna, or Fable, or whatever she calls herself?"

"I told you already, no."

"It's just, you seem to really like her."

I groan, pulling away. "She reminds me of my mum," I admit, sitting on the bed. "In a weird way. She never got that break in life to give her a chance to be a good mum, and I see that for Luna. She's a trainwreck, and I tried to stop it, but sometimes, you can't control everything."

"You care about her?"

"I care about the kid. I want Luna to sort her shit out and be a good mum. I kitted out the baby room and brought her here to keep her safe, and still, she wants to self-destruct."

"I'm going to be honest, now," she says, sitting beside me. "I really like you and I can see how kind and thoughtful you are. But I have a gut feeling about you and her, and I'm terrified to put myself out there in case you break my heart."

She's giving me a get-out clause. I could walk away now and this whole mess would be a lot less complicated. But deep down, I know Luna will break me and I don't want to give her the opportunity, so I look Danii in the eyes and say, "I'll do whatever you need to make you see I'm not into her. It's you I want."

She runs her hands along the denim of her jeans. "Okay. Stay away from her."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"She's next door to your room, for god's sake, Grizz. You told me you've been sleeping with her and you want to rescue her, and she's right next door to your room. How can I relax knowing she's so accessible?"

"She's part of this club."

She gives a nod. "I know, which is why I'll understand if you decide to say no. I think we could have something special here, but I can't explore it when I have this gut feeling about the two of you." She stands and moves between my legs, placing her arms around my neck. "Don't we owe it to ourselves to see where this could lead?" She kisses me, and I groan into her mouth, grabbing her arse and gently squeezing. She giggles, and my heart warms.

There's a knock on the door. "Fuck off," I bark, pulling her to sit over me.

"VP, it's urgent. You've got visitors."

I frown, placing Danii on her feet and opening the door. Shooter lowers his voice. "A guy called Nate is at the gates, but he's brought company."

I grin. "Saves me hunting him down." I turn back to Danii. "Wait here," I order.

As I step out the clubhouse, Axel follows. "You want me to gather the brothers?" he asks, eyeing the group of men the other side of the gate.

"No. He's gonna do this one-on-one," I mutter, stalking towards him. "But have them stay by the doors so he can see my reach is much bigger."

"I hear you've been looking for me," Nate states as I get closer. He's trying to sound more important than he is. The reason he knows I've been looking for him is because I offered money to anyone who could get him to me, not because he's got people watching out for him.

I spot the young lad I'd spoken to this afternoon, and he steps forwards. I slide an envelope of cash through the bars of the gates, and he takes it, giving a nod and then rushing off.

"Open the gates," I tell Smoke, and as they begin to slide open, I smirk. "You brought your little gang," I say, my tone mocking. I glance back over my shoulder at the bikers gathering at the entrance to the clubhouse. "And if that's the way you wanna do this, I'm down."

The men beside him shift uncomfortably. They're still boys really, not one of them over the age of twenty, and we outnumber them at least three to one. "What did you want me for?" Nate asks.

"It's a warning really," I say, tipping my head to one side. "A polite one."

"Let me guess, this has something to do with that whore you're protecting."

"If you mean your sister, yes. Ain't it time you took responsibility for your own mess?"

"I don't know if you've heard, but that's how a pimp/whore relationship works. She fucks, I reap the rewards."

I scowl. "Like it's not bad enough you're pimping out your own sister, but you're using her to pay your debts. That's lower than low."

"Have you ever asked what she wants?" he snaps. "She's been fucking since she was a kid. That says a lot about a person."

I step closer, and he does the same. I want to end him, but there are too many witnesses, which I suspect is the reason he brought his gang. "It says she was neglected, groomed, and abused."

"Man, you don't see what she's like. She's hungry for it, always greedy when it comes to cock."

It takes one hit to the centre of his face to knock him on his arse, and I almost laugh out loud. "Get up," I order.

He spits blood to the side of him and pushes to his feet. "You're really gonna fight over a used-up pussy like that?"

"You need to stay the fuck away from her and call off your army of scumbags. I'll kill every fucker who touches her."

He wipes his bloodied nose on the back of his hand. "We'll see, biker. We'll see." He heads off with his bitches following, every one of them looking relieved.

"Is that the end of it?" asks Axel, appearing beside me.

"I hope so, Pres, cos Danii just gave me an ultimatum."

I take Danii home,promising her I'll be in touch once I've thought over her offer. We'd fooled around after the little interruption. It'd been a long fucking time since I did that sort of shit, and just thinking about the way she gasped when I stuck my hand in her knickers makes me hard.

Axel joins me at the bar when I return and gets us a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. "You gonna fill me in on that ultimatum?"

"She wants me to avoid Luna."

"Right, what's the problem with that?"

I shrug, waiting for him to top up my glass before knocking it back. "I mean, full on avoid her. I think she wants her out the club."

He scoffs. "First of all, Luna is part of the club, so that ain't gonna happen. Until Danii becomes something more, Luna stays."

"Tell me what to do," I say, sighing heavily.

"How can I when you won't admit how you feel for Luna?" He rolls his eyes in annoyance. "You like her. What's stopping you going for it?"

"Danii," I point out. "I like her, Pres, and she likes me too."

"So, what's the problem? Move Luna back to her old room and avoid her." The thought makes me ache. The idea of having her away from me is harder than it should be.

"It sounds sick when I say this, but Luna is like my mum, and at first, I wanted to help her better herself. But now, I want to be there to see her change. She's like an addiction."

"And what if she doesn't wanna change?"

"Who wants to fuck for a living, Pres?"

"London, Siren, Foxy . . . I have lots of girls who wanna fuck for a living, Grizz. You have the problem with that, not them. If they hated this life, they'd save their money from Zen and get the fuck out of here."

"She's different," I mutter.

"Different because you like her, Grizz," he snaps. "Fucking wake up."

"I can't be with her," I snap back. "The thought of all the men she's . . ." I trail off. "I hate knowing that most of my brothers have been inside her, okay. And who the fuck knows how many others. You heard Reaper—he's been there, and so has half his club."

"Do you know how many men Danii's slept with?"

"No, I haven't asked."

"But there could have been loads, right?"

"It's different," I say. "If I get with Luna, all my brothers will look at us together and know what it was like to fuck my old lady. I can't handle that."

"So, you're gonna let jealousy win?"

I give a nod. "Yes, I am. I can't spend my life wondering if every man she passes has fucked her. Do you know what that'll do to me? Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach."

Axel glances over my shoulder and his expression changes. "Fuck. Luna, wait," he calls, jumping off his stool. I spin too, watching as she marches towards the exit with Ivy in her old pushchair. "Go after her," Axel barks, shoving me. "She heard what you said."

I run after her, catching her as she's mid-march across the car park. "Is it too much to hope you didn't overhear that?" I ask, wincing.

"In the last twenty-four hours, I've heard so much from your mouth I wish I hadn't," she says coldly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She stops, spinning to face me. "I heard you last night with Danii. And I heard every word just now. And I shouldn't be mad because everything you said is true, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurting."

"Look, I'm sorry. I can't help the way I feel."

She gives a stiff nod. "And I can't help my past." She continues on, walking through the gate.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from here," she mutters. "It was a mistake coming back."

I rush after her again. "You can't be serious."

"This makes it easier for you," she cries. "You're doing what Danii asked, getting rid of me."

"That's not what I want," I yell.

"It is," she snaps. "You're just too scared to say it out loud. Let me go, Grizz. You're relieved of your duties."

"It's not safe for you to be out here."

"I've been surviving on my own since I was a toddler," she says with a sad smile. "I'm good at it. Take care, Grizz, and I hope things go well with Danii."

"Please," I mutter.

She stops again, this time fixing me with an angry glare. "No, Grizz," she snaps. "Whatever we had is done. Goodbye." And she stomps off.

LUNA

"Name?"asks the woman behind the desk.

"Luna Carter," I say, trying to keep my voice low.

The job centre is packed out with people either talking to advisors, like me, or sitting waiting. It's one large open space, so everyone can hear the conversations. I gently rock the pushchair, praying Ivy stays sleeping.

"What experience have you got?"

"None, really," I mutter, glancing around. "I haven't done an awful lot."

She narrows her eyes. "What have you done since leaving school?"

I squeeze my eyes closed before leaning closer and whispering, "I'm a sex worker."

"Huh?" she asks, turning her head so she can hear me better.

"I'm a sex worker," I repeat.

She arches her brows in surprise. "Right. Well, we don't get anyone looking for that kind of thing here. Let's skip experience and come back to it. Skills?"

I bite my lip so I don't laugh, and she must realise around the same time as me because her cheeks colour with embarrassment. "Listen, I'm currently unemployed and I need help to feed my baby. Can you sort that out?"

"Are you still producing your own milk?" she asks.

"Well, yes, but I can't feed her."

"Have you got a medical professional who can back that?"

I frown. "No."

"We need a note from your midwife before we can offer formula vouchers. We also need to show you're actively looking for work before we can get to the benefit forms."

I sigh heavily. This whole process is about forms and waiting. I left the clubhouse yesterday and decided I'd try to sort myself out. But getting here took so much effort, and now, they're asking impossible questions. "Say I find a job, will I get help with childcare?"

"You might, depends on your income."

"So, if I get a job tomorrow, I won't get help right away with childcare costs?"

She almost laughs in my face. "Fill out the forms," she says, piling them in front of me. "It can take anywhere up to ten weeks to hear back."

I gasp. "Ten weeks?"

"We have a backlog," she says, shrugging. "From COVID."

"That was years ago," I utter, taking the forms.

"There's an emergency loan you can apply for, but you'll have to pull a ticket and wait," she says, looking across the room. "There're a lot of people waiting." I follow the direction of her stare and groan. There's at least thirty people.

"Forget it," I mutter, heading out.

I grab a pack of noodles on the way home and stop at Mum's. It's been a while since I've dropped her any food round, and even though she's never shown a maternal side, I have the urge to be around her when my heart is so smashed up.

Ivy begins to stir, so I lift her from the pushchair once we're inside. "Mum," I call out.

I find her sprawled out on the couch, naked and bruised. I cover her with a blanket and go through to the kitchen. It's a mess, and I groan at the sight of stacked-up takeaway boxes and leftover food on plates that's now hard or mouldy.

I give Ivy her bottle and settle her back into her pushchair before rolling up my sleeves and beginning to clean up. I wouldn't usually tidy Mum's flat, mainly because it'll only be in this state again within a week, but I need to occupy my mind.

It takes me a good hour to get it looking like a kitchen again. I boil the kettle and make Mum the noodles, realising she probably needs them more than I do, then I gently wake her. She pushes to sit, wrapping the sheet around herself. "Luna?" she mumbles groggily.

"I've got you some food," I say, placing the bowl on the table, "and I cleaned the kitchen."

"You haven't come to see me in ages," she says, grabbing the bowl and shovelling food into her mouth.

"Sorry. I had shit to deal with. Are you okay?"

She gives a slight shrug. "With you not being around, Nate's been sending a lot of people my way."

"Sorry," I mumble, feeling guilty.

"You look sad," she comments, and she raises her hand to my cheek like she's about to cup it, but she thinks better of it and lets it drop onto her lap.

"I did the one thing you always told me not to do," I mutter, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"You let one in," she says, and her voice is so gentle, it makes me want to cry.

"Stupid really," I tell her. "He turned out to be a prick, just like the rest."

I hear the door open and close, and Mum's eyes widen in alarm. "Not again," she whispers, and for the first time, I see a glimpse of the vulnerable woman she is.

Nate appears, and I take in his black eyes. "You're back," he spits.

"Just here to check on Mum."

Two of his friends appear behind him. "Where's your hero?"

"I'm just about to go back to him," I lie.

"She's lying," Mum rushes to say. "He dumped her."

I glare at her, and she gives a helpless shrug. "I can't take it anymore," she whispers.

"He finally saw you for what you are?" Nate smirks. "When did he dump you?"

"What does it matter?" I ask, standing. "I have to go."

I try to pass him, but he shakes his head, grabbing my arm. "You owe me."

"I don't owe shit."

He slaps me so hard, my eyes feel like they're about to explode. I grip my cheek as tears spring to my eyes. "When did he dump your whore arse?"

"Last night," I whisper, my voice coming out as a squeak.

Nate shoves me towards his friends. "Take her to her flat," he says, throwing a set of keys to one.

"No, Nate, I have Ivy with me," I rush to say, trying to shrug them off as they each grab one of my arms.

"Mum can watch her."

"She can't. She's not fit to," I protest.

"Make me repeat myself and I'll put the fucking kid down the rubbish shoot," he barks. "The quicker you do what you need to do, the quicker you'll be back to playing Mother Teresa."