26. Colton

Colton had arrived early to Lucia’s house, and she’d texted him to come inside. They had an hour or so before they had to be at Devin’s for his New Year’s party, and Colton was excited to start the year with Lucia at his side. He walked up to her door and knocked, wishing he’d had the foresight to bring her flowers. She’d been distant since returning from Philadelphia a week earlier, more pensive. Maybe she needed a sign that things were going to be okay. More than okay, actually, since they’d clinched the top seed for the playoffs.

All those thoughts left him as the door swung open. Lucia stood in front of him in yoga pants and his Sabers sweatshirt, her hair in a messy bun—absolutely breathtaking. But what stood out the most to him were her eyes. They were red, and the minute he realized it was because she’d been crying, he stepped inside her house, shut her door, and placed his hands on either side of her face, taking in everything from her hair down to her toes to figure out what was wrong.

“What happened, pretty girl?” he asked, worry lacing every word.

Lucia closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. After a moment, she moved away from him, and something like foreboding swirled in his stomach.

“I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve appreciated you. Everything you’ve done for me. I know it was because you wanted to get back at Max, but it’s been”—she stifled a sob—“a pleasure to pretend to date you, Colton Beaumont.”

His heart stopped. Nothing she’d just said made sense. There was a disconnect between her words and her demeanor, and Colton was struggling to put it all together. He used his thumbs to swipe the tears from under her eyes.

“It wasn’t just because I wanted to get back at Max, Luc. It hasn’t been about that for a while.”

He’d apparently said the wrong thing, because she only sobbed harder. He didn’t know how to help, so he gathered her in his arms and held her close to him, the strawberry scent of her shampoo calming him. She didn’t pull away, her arms locking around him as she cried into his dress shirt.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Luc. Please.”

She pulled back from his arms, walking toward her kitchen. The space between them felt like an ocean that Colton couldn’t cross, no matter how hard he might’ve tried. She rested her hands on her kitchen counter, her back to him.

“I can’t keep doing it. I’m sorry, Colton. I really am. But I can’t go until playoffs. It’s too hard.”

Colton felt sandpaper grating in the back of his throat. He tried to clear it, but nothing helped.

“What are you saying?”

Even though his body seemed to comprehend what she had said, his mind was moving too slowly. Hadn’t they agreed to January? He’d thought he had at least another week or two. What had changed? And if this was something she wanted, why did she seem so sad?

She didn’t respond.

“Luc, what are you saying? I thought we agreed to playoffs. Where is this coming from?”

Her body shook, and the effort it took not to follow her into the kitchen and gather her in his arms again almost broke him, but he was trying to respect the distance she seemed desperate to put between them.

“I just went home, and I saw my dad, and I remembered everything with Max, and I just can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do it, Colt. I don’t want to lose you, and if I continue to try to keep it together, I know I will. I can’t let myself hurt like that again.” Her voice was strangled, and her body was wracked with sobs.

Lose him? She could never lose him. She could do almost anything to him and she wouldn’t lose him. A life without Lucia didn’t make sense to Colton.

“Lose me? Sweet girl, you could never lose me. I’ll always be here for whatever you need. You have to know that.”

She was silent for a few moments before turning around and facing him, tears still streaming down her face. She shook her head once.

“I have to do what’s best for us. We blurred the lines too much. It’s only a week sooner than we said, right? Wasn’t this always the plan?”

Screw the plan. He didn’t care about the dumb parameters they’d set. He didn’t care about any of it if it meant not keeping her in his life.

She continued, “We can continue doing our sessions like normal, but no need to keep going out and doing stuff together. The press will figure it out sooner or later, but for now, they’ll just assume we’re too busy with playoffs.”

Despite the heater that hummed to life, Colton felt oddly cold. He couldn’t find the words to express to her that this wasn’t what he wanted. Not at all.

Instead, he pleaded, “Give me one more night. Please. Just let me have one more night.”

Maybe taking the night would give him enough time to process and figure out the right thing to say to her. He needed to. He couldn’t go back to seeing her as just an analyst that was there to help his game.

Lucia’s eyes met his. She wiped the tears from her face, patting her cheeks and under her eyes a few times before she nodded. “Okay. We agreed to be there, so one more night. I’ll get ready to go to Devin’s,” she whispered.

He nodded, and even though he should’ve, he didn’t feel victorious in the slightest. “I’m gonna take a drive. I’ll be back in thirty.”

The drive hadn’t cleared his head, and the short, sparkly, silver dress Lucia chose to wear wasn’t helping one bit. That fucking dress. It was absolutely going to be his undoing.

All he’d wanted was to take her back into her house and talk to her, make her see that she was making a mistake. But that probably wouldn’t have done anything since he still couldn’t formulate a coherent thought to explain his feelings. So instead, he’d driven them to Devin’s house and parked himself beside Rudy and Cooper, his eyes never straying from Lucia for long.

Lucia laughed at something Jenna said as they danced together, and Colton could hardly pay attention to what Cooper and Rudy were talking about beside him as he watched her smile light up her whole face. That tug on his chest that he felt any time she was near made an appearance, and he tried to breathe through it, rubbing two knuckles over his sternum.

“Do you feel ready for playoffs, Colt?” Cooper looked over his beer at him.

“About as ready as we can be, I think,” he answered distractedly.

Cooper and Rudy exchanged a surprised look, which pulled Colton’s attention back to them. “What?”

Coop shrugged. “Nothing, man. That’s just…I never thought I’d hear you say we’re ready for any game, let alone a playoff game. You’re Mr. We-can-always-be-better.” Rudy raised an eyebrow at Colton like he agreed with Cooper.

“Well, of course we can always be better. But if we beat Tampa Bay next week, we have a bye for Wildcard week, which we always utilize well. Don’t you agree we’ve found our rhythm? We’re playing like last year.”

His friends still looked unconvinced, but Colton’s mind was already off football. Of course he was excited for playoffs and for what the rest of the season might bring them. They were right on the cusp of what they’d all been hungry for: a chance at another Super Bowl ring. That didn’t change the fact that being separated from Lucia for those three days when she was in Philadelphia had been agonizing. His fingers had itched to text her about every minute detail of his life, from his pizza leftovers to the horrible bars Maya and Landon had dragged him to. He’d wanted to tell her everything but had settled for little daily check-ins, even when she seemed distant. And now, without understanding why, he was about to have to say goodbye to their quality time together. To their texts. To his safe space. All he would have of her would be their sessions after practice.

“You know how much I love the game, but let me tell you, I’m so glad the season’s gonna be over soon. I’m tired of the road. I just wanna be home with Jen and the kids, man.”

Cooper set a hand on Rudy’s shoulder. “That sounds like a personal problem, my friend.”

“Nobody’s managed to seduce Cooper Hayes’ heart, then? You’d think with all the women who throw themselves at you, you’d have found somebody you like enough.”

Cooper’s eyes flicked to Colton briefly before going back to Rudy. “Nah, I’m not really interested in settling down like y’all two. I’ve got a few years before I gotta worry about that. If I ever do.”

“I never thought I’d see the day that Colton would be out so often, and it’s for a woman. So who knows what might happen, Coop.”

Colton frowned. “What does that mean?”

Rudy put his hands up in surrender before taking a swig of his beer. “You never came to parties for more than an hour or so. Same with Thanksgiving at our house and any other team event. You’d come, show your face, and go home to watch film or lift like a masochist.” He shrugged. “It’s just nice to see that Lucia has gotten you to relax a little. Shown you that there’s more to life than a pigskin.”

Colton’s eyes slid back to the woman in question. Devin’s house had never been so packed, people crushed together body to body like the parties back in college. Still, he could make out the wide grin on Lucia’s face as she moved her hips to the music, her hair wild and free, cheeks flushed from the heat of the house and the alcohol that was surely in her system. He was glad she was feeling better. The sight of her crying had destroyed him, and he’d hated every second of it. Just watching her made his lips twitch up into a smile, despite the pain he felt knowing it might be the last time they were together in this way. He vowed he would do everything he could to ensure she had a good night, even if it killed him. Even if it meant pretending it didn’t.

“See? I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Huh?”

Rudy just smiled at him, genuineness lining his features. “I’m happy for you, man.”

“Alright, this is getting to be a bit sappy for me, so I’m gonna go find a sexy and willing woman to satisfy my many desires. Catch y’all tomorrow.” Cooper headed outside where a large group of women danced together. Colton was sure Coop would have no trouble finding what he was looking for, knowing his friend really did have women throwing themselves at him in droves.

“I’m gonna go get another beer. Do you need one?” Rudy eyed Colton’s nearly full beer.

“No, I’m set for now, thanks.” His eyes, drawn like a magnet to Lucia, found her again. Leigh had joined them, along with another couple of women.

A group of men Colton didn’t know had been circling the girls most of the night as if waiting for the right moment to approach. Colton tensed as a guy moved toward Lucia and whispered in her ear, a grin on his face. He hadn’t touched her yet, but Colton’s hand still tightened around the bottle in his hand. He watched as the guy danced at a surprisingly respectful distance from her, even as she stopped paying him any mind and resumed dancing with Jenna.

They continued like that for a few minutes, Colton’s eyes never leaving them. The guy talked to his friend, watching the girls dance with a look on his face that made Colton’s blood boil. Then the song changed, and the guy’s hands landed on Lucia’s waist.

Colton’s mind emptied, and he was across the room in seconds.