Chapter Thirty-Four

Mallory

Lennox peels out of the parking lot and aims us for the on ramp to the highway. His brow is furrowed and if his looks could kill, I’d have dropped dead twice over by now. He’s unrecognizable from the man he presented himself as and it’s unsettling me. He looks so goddamn hot pissed off. I hate that his anger is directed at me, but I deserve it. I need to pay for how my actions made him feel. His ridiculous tire spinning display for attention made it impossible to ignore him. Especially when he set off the alarm on Victoria’s car, but I liked it. I like that he sought me out and made me talk to him. He forced my hand. I’m sure Ghost won’t see it that way but that’s a problem for future Mallory to deal with.

I quickly grab the seat belt and click it on around me. My history with men is not a good one, and his flip in emotions and personality has set me on edge. I try to calm my racing heart by rationalizing that he isn’t going to be the happy-go-lucky flirt when I’m about to essentially break up with him. I’m sure he can feel it coming.

We drive in silence, the sound of the engine ticks up as I watch the speedometer climb. We round the bend that leads down to the highway and he flawlessly merges with the oncoming traffic. I risk a look at him but he’s not acknowledging my presence in the seat beside him. I lean my head against the cool glass and watch as the town falls away behind us and the wilderness surrounds the multi-lane roadway. I close my eyes and let the monotonous vibrations of the vehicle shake away my raging landslide of emotions.

“You wanted to talk, Mallory, so talk.” The flat and deeply emotionless tone of his voice startles me. I turn toward him. He has one arm against the window supporting his head as he steers with the other. He’s leaned himself as far away from me as possible, like he can’t stand to be near me, like he knows I’ve chosen the other guy over him. Have I? I can’t even bear to think about it, it’s why I haven’t reached out to either of them for the last few days.

“We can’t see each other anymore.” I’m so quiet, borderline nauseous, my body repelling against the words that have come from my own lips. My voice barely reaches my own ears, but I know he heard me. It’s like every muscle in his body has flexed, strung tight with emotion. I’m positive his knuckles have turned white under those gloves he always wears from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry.” I need to get out of here, away from him. Getting in the truck with him was such a bad idea.

“You can take me back to the hotel now.” Every moment I spend locked in this emotionally charged cage brings me closer and closer to throwing myself at him. Ready to tell him to forget what I just said because I want him. I want to kiss away the pain I see etched into the fine lines of his face. Erase the grim expression that mars his sinfully delicious mouth as he dismisses my request.

“Why?” His gravelly voice barely disguises the feelings he has swimming beneath the surface. I’ve hurt him and it’s crushing me. When I don’t respond fast enough, another question is fired at me. One of the many I’m sure he has locked and loaded after my days of selfish silence, wallowing in my own misery.

“Is it the other guy?” he all but growls at me and I wince. Nodding, I pull my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead against them. I hide my face in shame as tears threaten to spill over. I don’t even know why this is so hard, it’s not like we are even dating. There was only a flicker of something good on the horizon. It’s the severing of this connection I feel with him that’s gutting me from the inside.

The truck swerves and the roar of the engine becomes deafening. I raise my head to see what the fuck is happening, but all I see are colours and lights from how hard I was shoving my eyes into my knees to chase away the tears.

“Nox?” my voice wavers, apprehension dripping from the way I utter his name. He ignores me, again. It feels like eons before my vision clears enough to see properly but when it does, I become a new level of frightened. Not just of him, but from the speed at which he is weaving in and out of traffic.

“What can he possibly give you that I can’t?” he rasps, and it cracks the very fragile shell I have constructed around myself to hold my shit together.

“What? It’s not like that…”

“Then what is it like?” he asks, desperate to know why I’m not choosing him. The scenery is nothing but a blur as he allows his emotions to race us down the asphalt.

“Nox, slow down,” I plead but he doesn’t listen.

“Answer me, Mallory,” he grinds out. His anger morphing his face into someone new and dangerous. I hate that it makes me wet. That him scaring me makes me want to fuck his brains out. I’m so messed up, this is just another reason we could never work. If he ever found out, it would disgust him. I’m a swirling mix of sadness and arousal, I can’t even look at him. I wish he’d just take me back to my car so I can go home.

Again, I don’t get a chance to respond before another inquiry fills the tense silence that is swamping us.

“Were you just using me to make him jealous?” His question leaves me gaping at him like a fish out of water.

Finally finding my voice after overcoming the shock of his words I say, “Is that what you really think?”

“I don’t know what the fuck to think because you’re not fucking telling me anything!” he roars. I see his eyes shoot to the rearview mirror then back to the road as he aggressively crosses three lanes of traffic, merging into the farthest right lane. He takes a sharp right turn, whipping the truck down a dirt road.

“Where are you taking me?” my voice is shaky but I’m trying to be firm. I have no idea where we are now that we’re off the main road. It’s next to impossible to be calm and think rationally when he’s driving so erratically. His profession of being a policeman pops into my head at the most opportune moment and starts to calm my frazzled nerves. He’s not going to do anything drastic.

“Nox?” My voice sounds borderline hysteric but I’m met with his silence, yet again. This is not working. I’m going to have to come clean. His cop radar will pick up on it if I risk lying to him. I think I’ll wait until we’re parked to pour out my shame at his feet though.

“Lennox,” I say his name as soothingly as I can. I need to lock up my emotions and help to calm his whirling tornado of feelings. I remove my seat belt and hesitantly scoot across the bench seat to get closer to him. I gently place my hand on his forearm. He finally looks at me, shocked that I’ve touched him. Another rule of Ghost’s that I’m breaking.

We drive in silence, only the sound of the rocks tumbling beneath us to fill the uncomfortable atmosphere. I move to go back to the passenger seat when his arm wraps around my middle and pulls me flush against his body.

“Stay,” it’s the only word he’s said in at least twenty minutes and I’m thankful for it. The breath I feel like I’ve been holding this entire time whooshes out of me. Finally, I don’t feel so anxious. Content to sit in silence, I rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. There’s nothing I can do right now, I made the decision to get in the truck with him. I may as well enjoy these last few moments with him before Ghost finds out and hates me for this. I sink into his embrace as his warmth seeps into me. It’s a welcomed comfort and his taut body relaxes against mine.

The truck slows to a stop as I sit up straight and look around. He’s brought me to a beautiful serene spot in the middle of the wilderness. The afternoon sun is high in the sky and its reflection off the water in front of us is breathtaking. There’s a dock that stretches out into the body of water, it’s bigger than a pond but smaller than a lake. I have no idea what the proper term would be for something like this; it appears to be a low spot where the water from the river gathers and slows substantially, before trickling out into what I know as the creek that turns the power wheel at the Henderson Sawmill. There’s a clearing of tall, wispy grass off to the right. Sporadic impressions from where the local wildlife graze and sleep, safely tucked away from the dangers of civilization. Trees encircle this small secluded slice of heaven and I’m extremely thankful he decided to share it with me before I never see him again.

“Are you ready to talk now?” he gently asks. I’m not, I want to live in this quiet moment for just a bit longer. I feel his eyes boring into the back of my head though, willing me to turn and finish this conversation. I nod and unwrap myself from his embrace. Turning my face to his, I’m rocked by the look his features project. Is he… scared? Oh, Nox, this isn’t what I want at all.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you.” My voice is practically a whisper as I try to keep a lid on the collapsing box I’ve stuffed my emotions into.

“Bullshit, Mallory. You cast me aside without so much as an explanation. How else am I supposed to feel?”

“You’re right,” I concede.

“Well, spit it out.” The irritation in his voice has me moving away from him, back to the passenger side, sitting sideways against the door.

“What?”

“Were you using me to make this other guy jealous?” His usually sweet and seductive voice is laced with anger and it rips me apart. I’ve done this to him. It’s my fault.

“No, Nox. I would never.”

“Then what is it? Why am I not good enough?” he pleads, wanting an answer that I’ll never be able to fully give him. I’m rocked to my core over this thought even crossing his mind. How could he even think that?

“That’s not it at all.”

“Stop circling around it and just say it, Mallory.”

“It’s me,” I blurt out. “I’m not good enough.” I have to look anywhere but his face. I guarantee it’s full of pity. I can’t handle that from him.

“Please explain-”

I cut him off, “I’m fucked up. Just a bunch of broken pieces barely holding it together. I’m-”

He interrupts me, “Shut up, I wasn’t finished.”

“Oh.” Damn it, my clit thumps along to the beat of my heart at his dominating persona.

“Please explain to me why you think you get to decide who or what is good enough for me. That is my decision to make. If I want to be with you, then I get to make that choice, not you.”

“I-”

“Be quiet,” he snips.

“Kay..."

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really going to give up this man for one who won’t even show me his face?

“If you don’t want to be with me it will be because of me. Not because of some excuse that you don’t think you’re worthy of my love.”

“Okay.”

Love?

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks, sincerity replacing the anger in his voice.

“No.”

“So, then it’s the other guy. You’re choosing him?”

Hurt. So much hurt weighs down his words as he lets them plow into me.

I nod. He turns away from me. Arms hung over the steering wheel as he gazes out at the picture perfect landscape before us.

“Why?” he questions.

“What?”

“Why him?” He turns his head in my direction, eyes clawing up my body as I sit just a few feet away from him.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not a hard question to understand, Mallory. I want to know what he has that I don’t.”

“Uhhhh…” How the fuck do I answer this question? I can’t tell him that Ghost stalked me, knows everything about me, enjoys my mask kink, and fucks me stupid.

He undoes his seat belt and closes the distance between us, spreading my legs and crawling between them.

“Does he kiss you better than I do?” He crowds my space, forcing me back into the corner of where the door and seat come together. Fucking hell, my brain is short circuiting again as his lips hover above mine.

“No.” My voice is but a whisper as a smirk of satisfaction crosses his lips before they land against mine. He kisses me deeply and I let him, even though I shouldn’t. This is leading him on, it’s wrong. Ghost is going to be so fucking mad at me, but I can’t seem to care as Nox's tongue tangles with mine. He groans against my lips as he pulls away looking intensely into my eyes.

“Does he turn you on more than I do?” His hand runs up my thigh and my breath hitches. His teeth graze his bottom lip then his face disappears as he starts to kiss down my jaw to my neck.

“No,” I moan.

His thumb feathers over my clit, “Does he touch you better than I do?” he whispers into my ear. It’s a million degrees in the small cab of this truck as he gently strokes over my nub. Firm enough that I feel it but too gentle to get me off. It’s maddening. He is maddening.

“No,” I pant, raising my hips trying to get some friction where I need it most, but he doesn’t allow it. He stops his torturous soft touches and grabs onto my ankles, throwing one over each of his shoulders. He’s effectively folding me in half as he grips the waist of my leggings and pulls them down over my ass, exposing my naked, slick cunt.

“Tell me, baby, does he make you cum the way I do?” His filthy mouth has arousal dripping out of me onto the seat beneath us. He slowly slides two gloved fingers in and out of my eager pussy and my eyes roll back as euphoria threatens to smother me.

“Nox,” his name is a drawn out moan falling from my lips.

“Answer me, princess.” His mouth lingers above me as my hamstrings burn from the stretch. “Does he?”

“No,” I pant out.

“I didn’t think so. There’s no way your pussy gets this wet for anyone but me.” He pulls his fingers from within me and raises them to prove it. My arousal coats his leather gloves and glistens on the knuckles. He makes a show of licking it up and sucking it off his fingers.

“Please,” I whine.

“Please, what?” he coos.

“Please, make me cum.”

“Say my name.” I know what he wants and I’ll give it to him.

“Nox, I want you. Please, make me cum.” He thrusts his fingers back into me and I cry out.

“Such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” he growls. I nod my agreement as he rubs my G spot. “And good girls get to cum, don’t they, baby?”

“Yeah,” it’s a breathy sound that barely resembles the word, but as I watch his sinful smirk disappear down between my thighs, I can’t form coherent thoughts. His tongue drags against my sweet spot and I implode. His mouth closes around my clit and sucks as I scream and writhe beneath him.

“Holy shit, Nox, stop. It’s too much,” but he doesn’t listen. He sucks harder as his teeth nip gently at my swollen bud. He roughly plows his fingers into my core, adding a third and the overwhelming sensations bring another orgasm crashing down on the back of the one I just had. He finally slows his ministrations to a stop and lowers my legs back to the seat.

In my lust-fuelled haze, I’m faintly aware of him moving around and exiting the vehicle. I struggle to right my pants but the feeling hasn’t yet returned to my legs.

Suddenly, the passenger side door is opened and I almost fall out.