10. Arik

For the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone.

Varian and I spent all our time on video calls or messaging.

Would we be the same when Varian got here? I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't know how well that would translate to in person.

We got to the stop before Varian. They must have stopped someplace, so I took the time to hit up the tech building and see if I could get an internet connection for a minute. The second I sat down, I opened my PocketJournal to type out an update, knowing I'd been neglecting it for at least the last week.

put it in reverse and listen again.

because i'm sure You missed the

point out every One of my indiscretions to make yourself feel

better try harder. i'm slipping throUgh your

fingers slide over skin. please just let me

in silence, we know each other

best way to Ruin what we have to say

less is more, but you know how to twist

the knife Edge i walk so No One knows me at

all your promises are so well

puT every word into over

drive off the Highway

splatter my words across the

concrete the forests of our

hearts are so last

year after year and we're still

here I am. take me as i

aM i enough?

I didn't bother with my email, not wanting to see what real life left me. I opened socials then immediately closed it when Nicole's face smiled back at me. She'd sent me a message there, and her feed was full of pictures I couldn't bear to look. Sleeping alone was hard enough. The hours between stops became my personal lonely hell. But I didn't know how to fix it. Not like I could proposition Ser to share a bed to get some human contact.

I signed off and shoved to my feet, gaze falling on a black Sharpie left on the desk. I glanced around before shoving it into my pocket. I'd been meaning to snag one and kept forgetting.

I checked my phone on the way back to the bus.

Nothing.

Being this quiet wasn't like him.