29. Louise

Everyone, including Julie, was on time. They knew how important today was to me and to Clara. I introduced Marco to my family.

‘Nice to see you again.’ Dad shook Marco’s hand warmly.

‘An honour to see the father of Louisa again.’ Marco smiled.

‘Louisa.’ Julie winked at me.

I shrugged. ‘I’ve told him a million times.’

‘Clara looks happy,’ Sophie noted.

‘So far, so good.’

‘Hey, Clara, do you want to give Lemon her bottle?’ Gavin asked.

‘No, but I’ll watch.’

‘Okay, but I want you to babysit her when you’re a bit older.’

‘I don’t think I’d like to look after a baby.’

‘But you so good at looking after Luna,’ Marco said.

Clara looked up at him. ‘I suppose I am. But Luna is a cat.’

‘Animals are like humans,’ Marco reminded her.

Gavin looked a bit put out. ‘Hang on there, Marco. Lemon needs a bit more attention than a cat.’

Marco laughed. ‘Not so much – eating, drinking, sleeping, kissing, caressing. The same.’

‘He has a point,’ Julie said.

‘It sounds like the perfect life,’ Harry said.

‘I’d fancy a bit of caressing myself.’ Jack squeezed Sophie’s leg. She swatted him away, laughing.

‘I wish Granny was here to meet my new dad,’ Clara announced.

Everyone turned to her.

‘I do too, darling,’ I agreed.

‘We all do, pet, but she’s smiling down on us from wherever she is and she’d be so proud of the way you’re handling all of this newness.’ Dad smiled across the table at Clara.

‘You know, I think Granny sent Marco,’ Julie said to Clara.

‘What do you mean, Aunt Julie?’

‘Well, I think Granny sent Marco to help look after you and to love you and be in your life. It was a gift she sent to you.’

Clara frowned as she considered this. ‘I don’t think dead people can send people to you, but I think Granny would like my dad.’

‘Yes, darling, I’m sure she would.’ I smiled at Clara.

‘That make me so happy.’ Marco held his hand over his heart.

We sat down to lunch and Harry told Marco the story of meeting Christelle. Marco was hanging on his every word.

‘So, I can understand your shock and delight at finding out you have a daughter. Isn’t it the best feeling?’ Harry beamed.

‘The very best in the whole world,’ Marco exclaimed.

‘Probably even more so for you because you have no children. So now you get to be a father,’ Harry said, clapping Marco on the back.

‘And without the early baby stage,’ Gavin said. ‘Which, after a week of zero sleep, sounds kind of great.’

‘Oh, boo-hoo, I had no sleep for years. You’ll be fine,’ Julie said.

‘I wish with all of my heart that I was here when Clara was piccola ,’ Marco said.

‘I was an angel baby, Mummy said,’ Clara said.

‘Yes, you were,’ I lied. Clara had not been an angel baby, and I had struggled in the early days, but it was a mother’s prerogative to rewrite history.

‘You were a little dote,’ Dad agreed.

‘I cannot wait to meet all of your childrens also,’ Marco said. ‘Clara tells me about her cousins.’

‘Well, Marco, if you’re around next week, you’re welcome to come and watch my three grandsons shine on the rugby pitch,’ Dad said.

‘Really? I like rugby very much.’

‘Well, it’s just a match, really,’ Julie muttered.

Harry looked at the floor. That was strange. Harry was normally delighted to tell people about the triplets. They seemed out of sorts.

I whispered to Sophie. ‘Did one of the boys get dropped?’

‘Don’t think so,’ she replied, under her breath. ‘It looks like something’s up, though.’

‘But,’ Marco continued, ‘I have to get back to my olives. I cannot leave them for too long. Also, to my mother, Anna. But I am hoping that Clara will come to visit me one day.’

‘Maybe in the future, but definitely not now.’ Clara was firm.

‘Of course, tesoro mio , only when you are wanting to.’

The men began to talk about rugby.

Clara asked if she could leave the table and go to her room. ‘I’m bored now, Mummy.’

‘Of course, darling. I’ll check on you in a bit.’

Sophie pulled her chair closer to me. ‘You have Marco well briefed. He’s doing so well,’ she said.

‘Yes, he is, but I’ll be happy when he goes. It’s been stressful. I’ve been so worried about how Clara would react that I’ve barely slept. I’m thrilled it’s gone well, but I need some down time now.’

Sophie put an arm round me. ‘It’s been a huge strain for you and a worry. But, honestly, Louise, I think it’s the best thing you could have done. Clara really seems to have taken to him. She’s very relaxed around him already.’

‘Yes, she really is and that’s such a huge relief.’

Julie scooched her chair over as well. ‘What are you two whispering about?’

‘How it’s gone with Marco, and how wrecked Louise is. Can you take a few days off next week to get some rest?’ Sophie asked.

‘I wish. No, work is nuts and I’m still trying to figure out how to get rid of bloody Zo?, who keeps swanning in late, making mistakes and is completely and utterly wrecking my head. She’s really got under my skin. Never spoil your kids. They’ll turn out to be entitled arseholes.’

Julie picked at her slice of cake. ‘You’re right there. But all kids are tricky, and they get trickier as they get older. You have to watch them like a hawk. I think it’s good for you to have Clara’s father in your life to help you when she enters the teen years.’

‘God, yes, Julie’s right. You need two of you to manage teens.’

‘How is Jess after the whole Pippa fiasco?’ I asked.

‘She’s okay. She’s been nicer to me, actually, and she’s really sweet with Robert. I think she’s realized I’m not so bad after all.’

‘Has Pippa started rehab?’ Julie asked.

Sophie nodded. ‘She went in on Thursday. It’s an intensive course, so fingers crossed it works.’

‘You’re amazing, Sophie, taking on Robert full-time,’ I said.

She shrugged. ‘What choice do I have? He’s an innocent victim in all this. I want him to have as much stability as possible. To be honest, I’m not sure if Pippa’s going to get better, and even if she does, whether she’s fit for motherhood. I think she saw a baby as a fun accessory, and the reality, as we all know, is hard slog.’

‘You’ve a lot on your plate,’ Julie said.

‘We all do,’ Sophie replied. ‘Is everything okay with the boys?’

Julie’s face went red and she stared fixedly at her cake. ‘Yeah, sure,’ she said.

I looked at Sophie and she looked at me, obviously thinking the same thing: Something’s up.

‘You and Harry both seem a little off today,’ I said. ‘Is anything wrong?’

‘No, no.’ Julie shook her head, but still didn’t look at us. ‘It’s grand. Just some … you know … normal teenage stuff, but it’s all fine.’

‘Can we help?’ Sophie said. ‘Is there anything we can do?’

Julie finally looked up at us, and I could tell something was really bothering her. She took a very deep breath and opened her mouth as if to speak, then shut it again. Another deep breath, and she went to speak again, but stopped. I wanted to shake her.

‘Jesus, Julie, spit it out,’ I urged my sister.

She opened her mouth again, but before she could say anything, Lemon let out a roar and projectile-vomited all over the table. Thank God Clara had gone to her room or she would have freaked out with the mess and the smell.

Everyone helped clear up, and when that was done, it was time for them all to head home. Clara let Marco read her a story before he left for his hotel and I collapsed into bed for an early night. It was only when I was turning off my light that I remembered Julie hadn’t told us what was wrong. I’d have to call her and check in.

The next morning, Marco stood in our hall, his suitcase at his side. He held out his arms.

‘Not yet,’ Clara said.

‘No problem, tesoro mio . A fist pump?’

‘ Sì .’ She smiled shyly at him.

He held out his fist and she touched it with hers.

Marco looked at her, his hand on his heart. ‘I love you, amore mio .’

‘ Grazie ,’ Clara said.

‘Thank you for permitting me to be in your life. I am the happiest man in Italy.’

‘I’m glad Mummy found you and that you came over. I like you, Marco. You’re kind and funny, and even though you smell a bit funny, I don’t hate it.’

Marco’s smile widened. ‘This makes me so happy.’

Clara smiled. ‘Good.’

The taxi tooted outside. Marco picked up his suitcase and turned to go, blowing kisses at Clara. I walked him down the path.

‘Thank you, Louisa. Thank you for finding me and giving me this beautiful gift. I am for ever grateful. Clara is wonderful.’

‘It’s Louise, Marco, and you’re very welcome.’

I smiled. All those sleepless nights worrying about how Clara would react to Marco were over. She had taken to him so well. He had been wonderful with her, endlessly patient, following her lead at all times, knowing when to back off, alert to signs of her getting anxious … I couldn’t have asked for a better result. I felt lighter and hugely relieved.

It had been surprisingly nice to share Clara with him. He adored her and wanted to know every single detail about her. My family loved her and were interested in her life, but Marco was as obsessed with her as I was. He loved her completely. It was so comforting to have someone who felt the way I did about Clara. Mum had, but she was gone now and the hole was deep. I had enjoyed the visit as much as Clara had, if not more. I’d thought I’d hate sharing her. I’d thought I’d be worried every time I left her alone with him for even a second. But it had been the opposite: I’d known she was in safe hands. I could leave the room and not worry. I could leave them alone and know Clara was going to be okay.

‘Thank you for following my instructions and taking it slowly. I can’t believe how quickly she warmed to you. It’s been lovely for her.’

‘I would like very much for Clara to come to Italy to meet my mother and see my farm. Can we think about this possibility?’

‘I’ll talk to her. If she wants to go, we’ll work something out, but to be honest, she’s not a very good traveller. She doesn’t like change, but we’ll see.’

‘Thank you. I go now with a big heart full of love. I have the most beautiful daughter. And you are a special and generous woman, Louisa. You didn’t have to do this, but I am so grateful that you have. You have changed my life. And please, I will try to bring only good things into Clara’s life, yours too. Grazie , Louisa.’ He kissed me on both cheeks and climbed into the taxi before I could remind him for the millionth time that I hated being called Louisa.