Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Hayes

I stare at myself in the mirror after I finish getting ready for Rylan. I’m naked, so I can see my soft belly, the fact that I don’t have the same type of muscles he does, and I can’t help wondering what in the hell he’s doing with me and why he seems to want me so damn much.

Not that having a soft belly is a reason not to want someone. It’s totally hot and sexy and real. I don’t have an issue with my body. I just have an issue with myself , and considering I’m naked, that’s what I’m focusing on right now.

But Rylan seems to really like having sex with me, and I really like having sex with him. And while we’ve clearly both enjoyed the things we’ve done together so far, this feels different. Is it because I can’t put my finger on how this is… more , or is it because I don’t want to think about what that means? The last thing I want to consider is that I’m allowing myself to feel too close to him. It’s unlike me to share the way I did tonight. We’re friends who fuck, I remind myself. That’s it and that’s all I want, which brings me back to the current situation.

What if I’m a really bad bottom and that’s why the sex with Malcolm or the other times I had it were so mediocre? Or what if Rylan wants me to top at some point too? He’s made it clear he’s vers, likes ass play, and he’s mentioned flip fucking, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I’ve never topped. I want to try at some point, but I’m really worried about being shit at it.

“You can do this,” I tell myself in the mirror. “You have a great ass. Rylan thinks you have magic cum. You’re his sex good- luck charm. You’re going to be the best goddamned bottom he’s ever had.”

Oh God. Please don’t let him have heard me.

I open the door and peek out. Rylan is naked on the bed, legs spread, cock still hard, leaning against the headboard and stroking himself.

There’s a strong possibility I’m drooling. He’s like a god, an Adonis, all hard muscles, golden skin, a stupidly big cock, and smiling. Why is he always smiling? Rylan is maybe one of the happiest people I’ve ever met. I wish I knew how to be that way.

“Jesus. Look at you. Come here and let me touch you, cutie.”

Goose bumps pebble my skin. The thick hunger in his voice sounds so damn real. I have no reason to suspect it’s not, but it’s impossible to flip a switch in my brain and turn off a lifetime of not being wanted. And the one time I thought I was, it was nothing but a lie.

I force my feet to move, afraid I look like a penguin instead of someone a guy would want to stick his dick into. I climb onto the bed, and Rylan takes my wrist, tugging me until I’m straddling him.

“Are you good? If you changed your mind, that’s okay.” He brushes my cheek with the back of his hand, and I remind myself that this is just how Rylan is. He would be treating any guy he’s with like this. It doesn’t mean anything more.

“I didn’t change my mind.”

“Do you want to top the first time? I’d be down for that.”

“No!” I rush out, and he chuckles.

“Excited about my cock, are you?”

His comment should annoy me, but it doesn’t. His playful tone, the fact that he’s just being the Rylan I’ve gotten to know, helps calm the storm inside me.

“Your cock has nothing to do with it. I just…”

When I don’t continue, he frowns, forehead wrinkled and thoughts racing through his gaze. “Just what?”

My stomach clenches, and embarrassed, I admit, “I’ve never topped. What if I’m not good at it? Like I said before, I’m not sure I’m good at sex at all, but I’m not ready to be the one doing the fucking.”

“You’re fucking incredible at sex. You see how hard I bust a nut every time we’re together.”

“So romantic.”

“Do you want me to be romantic with you?” He cocks a brow. When I don’t reply, he says, “That’s what I thought. Now, remember the insane chemistry we have and lean down and kiss me.”

Rylan wraps his hand around my nape, tugs me down, but stops when I’m an inch from his mouth. He wants me to be the one to close the distance, and I want that too, so I flick his lips with my tongue, then work it inside.

His big hands roam up and down my back, move to my ass, then up again as we kiss slowly, languidly. He’s taking his time for me. I understand that. Rylan knows all about my limited experience and hang-ups. And no matter how much I appreciate that, it also stresses me out because I don’t want to mess up this arrangement.

We kiss and rut, tongues dancing together, hands traveling, blood rushing to my groin. My cock gets hard between us. I feel him smile into the kiss, savor the sensation of his scruff against my face, as his finger teases down my crease to circle my rim.

“Oh, look at that. Your dick has come out to play,” Rylan teases, and I can’t help laughing. “Turn around. Let me open up that pretty, pink hole.”

I shiver, a pulse of electricity heading straight to my dick and making it throb with need. “Oh my God. Dirty talk is so hot.” I scramble to turn around.

“You like that? You like me talking about what I want to do to you? How I’m going to eat your ass until you’re panting and writhing, and then I’ll pull back and open you up with my fingers, until you’re begging for my cock.”

Part of me searches for something sarcastic to say. Wants to scoff at his words and brush them off like this isn’t hotter than the temperature in hell. I’m not proud that nothing pops into my head and all I can say is, “Yes, please. Let’s get started.”

I straddle him again, facing away from him, then look over my shoulder to see Rylan is smiling. It’s so big, it can’t possibly be fake. “God, you’re fun.” He gives my ass a playful swat. “Jesus, look at this.” He covers each ass cheek with a hand and spreads them even more. “Such a sexy hole. I can’t wait to bury my tongue in it, keep my face in your crease and make you scream my name.”

Pleasure crackles inside me, making me jittery and needy. I push my ass against his face, wanting Rylan to do exactly as he said. He doesn’t lick me yet, though, just runs a finger down my crease, through the light dusting of hair, before settling on my hole.

“Been thinking about this. I jerk off thinking about what it will be like to fuck you.”

“Then do it,” I say breathlessly, head spinning.

“Fuck yes,” he replies before his finger is gone and his tongue lashes against my rim.

Rylan devours my ass like it’s his last meal, making hungry sounds as he flicks and kisses and works his tongue against me. I rock back, needing to feel full of him, needing a million things my brain can’t seem to compute at the moment.

He pauses to kiss my left ass cheek before diving in again, lapping at me. Each flick of his tongue sends pleasure shooting through my body. My eyes fall closed as I soak it in, feel sexier and more desired than I ever have. How can good sex make me feel this way? Or maybe it’s not just that, and it’s that Rylan is just that good.

I move against him, push back and rub our torsos together. When I open my eyes, his thick, veiny cock is right there, making my mouth water. Holding the base with one hand, I suck him, bob on his dick while he savors my ass like it’s his favorite thing. I love the feel of his hot, hard length against my tongue, love how it stretches my lips and the power I feel in sucking Rylan off. His scruff’s now rubbing against my sensitive ass, and the way his thighs tighten and his body jerks, seeking more of me, of the pleasure I give him…I’ve never felt this kind of high.

My dick is aching between us, throbbing, my balls so full. Rylan pulls back from my ass and laps at my nuts, sucking and kissing them, before his tongue travels back to my hole again.

God, I want to swallow his cum, but I also don’t want him to orgasm until he’s inside me. Whichever way, it’s me giving him this, my body making him feel so good. Maybe I shouldn’t find strength in that, but I do. No man has ever felt wild for me until Rylan.

I whimper around his cock when his tongue is gone, but then I feel his finger pressing against me. My head pulls back just enough that his dick falls out of my mouth, as his finger is breaching my rim.

“Yes…God yes. I want it. Need it.”

Who knew I’m such a needy little bottom? At least I am with him.

“Is this what you want?” Rylan pushes his finger deeper. The slightly rougher feel tells me he hasn’t used lube yet, but he softened me up enough with his tongue and saliva that it’s okay.

“Yes.”

“I wish you could see this, see the way your ass is sucking my finger in. You’re so damn tight. Relax for me, cutie. It’s just me. You know all I want is to make you feel good.”

It’s not until he said it that I realize he’s right, that part of why his finger isn’t gliding in as well is because I’m tensing. “Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing.” He kisses one cheek. “Trust me.” Then the other, his finger sliding in and out. I feel how tense I am even though I want this, so I look down at his cock again, rub my face against it, breathe in the heady scent of his musk and arousal, and that helps.

“Suck me. You focus on my cock and let me worry about this perfect fucking hole of yours.”

Yes, that’s what I need. I kiss the crown of his erection, then pepper kisses down, down, down. God, I love dicks, and his is so pretty. Like the rest of him, it feels like a work of art. Letting my tongue in on the action, I lick up and down his shaft, just enjoying this moment and his body.

“That’s it. Fuck, you love that, don’t you? Love my cock. I can feel you relaxing.” He fucks his finger in and then pulls it back out again, the glide easier, but if he used lube, I didn’t even realize it.

“More,” I beg, something else new for me. I’ve never felt this deep-seated craving for something, for some one , like I do with him. We don’t really know each other well enough for it to be anything more than the chemistry between us, what he does to my body, and the fact that Rylan is just a good man. That must be it. I refuse to believe anything else.

“I got you. Gonna get you all ready to take my cock.”

This time as I continue to make love to his dick with my mouth, I hear the lube, feel the cold liquid, and tremble when he pushes two fingers inside me. Yes, yes, yes.

I suck him to the back of my throat again, try to make him feel as good as he does me while Rylan twists and fucks me with two fingers.

“You’re opening up so good, your pretty, pink hole stretching for me. I’m gonna give you a third finger, gonna watch you take all three for me.”

His prick is buried in my throat when he stretches my ass with three fingers. The burn is there, the fullness, and all I can think is more and not enough and so this is what good sex feels like .

Every time Rylan’s fingers brush against my prostate, it feels like a pulse of electricity shoots through me, ricochets off all my insides, creating a storm of pleasure.

I keep sucking him, love how he opens me up, his fingers on my prostate until my dick is throbbing and my balls are tightening and I can barely hold myself back.

“Stop. You have to stop. Holy shit. You’re gonna make me come, and I don’t want to finish until you’re inside me.”

“Christ, I need that too.” Rylan slides me off him. “On your back.” And I simply do what he says. Not in the way I used to feel with Malcolm, where I just wanted to keep him happy, but because I want the same thing Rylan wants, at least right now.

My head sinks into the pillows while he rips open a condom wrapper and rolls the rubber down his erection, then lubes himself up.

“Eventually, if you feel comfortable, we can do this without a condom. I’m checked regularly, negative, and I’m on PrEP. Since we’re exclusive for the next few months, it would make sense, but I understand if that’s not something you’re comfortable with.”

Malcolm and I had never gone without a condom, and I’ve been checked twice since we broke up, but I must admit, fear scratches at the back of my neck. Just because Rylan says we’re exclusive doesn’t mean we really are. Malcolm had made those promises to me too. Deep down, I trust Rylan, maybe more than I should. I don’t believe he’s like Malcolm, but it’s not easy to just let myself forget the past.

“Hey, no obligation,” he says. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“It’s fine. I just…maybe? That feels like something that’s for boyfriends.”

“You’re right.” He gives me a small smile. “Now sit back and let me fuck your brains out.”

My dick twitches against my stomach. Rylan sees and chuckles. “Shut up,” I tell him, surprised at the light, happy feeling bouncing around inside me.

“Here, this will help.” He pushes a pillow beneath my hips. “I want to see in your eyes the first time. Want you to know it’s me fucking you.”

“How could I not know?” I ask, shivering at his statement. It feels…hell, I don’t even know the word for how it feels.

I spread my legs wide for him. He lubes up my hole, and then, on his knees, pushes up closer between them. He looks down, holding the base of his cock and pressing it against my rim.

“Stroke yourself, but keep your eyes on me. I’m gonna watch that pretty hole of yours open up for me.”

I do as he says, working my erection while Rylan slowly pushes forward. He’s big, and it’s a lot different from taking his fingers. There’s pressure, the stretch, and burning.

He stops. “Shh. It’s good. We’re going slow. You’re so good for me. Best I ever had, and I’m not even inside you yet. I’m only about two inches in so far. Let me know when I can keep going.”

“Do it,” I say, spurred on by his words. “Just go slow.”

Sweat beads on my brow. He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips, and…holy shit. I can’t believe I’m here. That I’m lying beneath Rylan Pierce as he pushes his cock into me. That we’re having sex, and he wants to be my friend, and we talk to each other. My head starts to spin, but then he’s stroking my cock and leaning down, kissing my chest, my throat, my neck, and it quiets the overwhelming thoughts. My body opens up for him more, takes him in, Rylan still going so damn slow so he doesn’t hurt me.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking tight. You feel so goddamned good.”

My toes curl, and suddenly I just need it all and need it now. My body is jittery with the desire to feel Rylan let loose on me. “Fuck me. Fuck me with your big, thick cock!” Holy shit. Did those words just come out of my mouth? I’ve never said something like that in my life, but it seems to unlock something in Rylan.

He curses, then snaps his hips forward. I cry out with the delicious feeling of being full of him. He pulls back and pumps into me again, over and over and over, making the bed hit the wall. Long, powerful, deep thrusts that are already making me splinter apart.

I love the feel of his hard body on top of mine, love his sweat-slick skin and quick breaths, seeing his muscles tighten and feeling his gaze so firmly on me.

My dick aches. Each time his cock brushes my prostate, I swear it feels like he’s shooting me to the moon.

Our bodies slap together. Rylan bends forward and takes my mouth, his tongue pushing between my lips the same way his dick is penetrating my body.

“Oh God. Yes. So good. So fucking good,” I say when his mouth travels down my neck and…is he licking the sweat off my skin? Why is that so fucking hot?

“You’re so good for me. Feel so damn perfect around my cock. Like your hole was made to take my dick.”

Um…okay, so I know this is just sex talk, but why does it suddenly feel like my hole was made for his dick?

“Jerk yourself off. I need you to come for me. I want to watch you shoot your load all over that pretty stomach of yours before I fill your ass.”

And again, just sex talk because there’s a condom between us, but in this moment, it does feel like he’s going to pump a load inside me.

And I want it…want it so fucking much.

Rylan licks my hand, and then I wrap it around my shaft. I’m dangerously close to coming already, the sex between us so fucking good. This is what I always thought it would be, and it’s because of Rylan that I’m feeling it.

I jerk myself off as he continues to pound into me, long, deep strokes that feel better than anything ever has.

It’s like I’m almost there, and then with one more pump of his hips, I’m losing myself to the best, most potent pleasure I’ve ever had. My balls draw tight, dick spasming in my hand as I spurt cum again and again, each time he shoves into me.

“Fuck, baby. Me too. Holy shit, I’m coming too.” Rylan’s muscles tighten, dick twitching inside me, jaw tight as he dissolves into his orgasm. All I can think is how sexy he is and the fact that I did this, that my body gave this gorgeous, cocky, sometimes annoying man the pleasure I can see on his face.

It’s incredible.

I want more.

Wait. Did he just call me baby?