Chapter Seventeen

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Rylan

I ’ve been thinking about Hayes going to see the Jilted Exes all evening. Should I call them that? I’m not sure what else to call them, and it’s the name Hayes uses. But anyway, it’s been killing me not to message and check in on him, see how it’s going because even though I haven’t known Hayes long, it would be impossible not to see that sometimes he gets into his own way. He expects everything to go badly, so it’s almost like he sets himself up for that to happen. Or at least doesn’t try because he already has it in his mind how the situation will go.

I really do think the three of them connecting is a good thing. No one wants to feel alone, especially in a situation like theirs, and Hayes really needs more people in his life. Now he has me—friend me and sex-partner me. I want to keep this friendship going with him when we stop hooking up. Hayes could really use his life being shaken up a bit, and I’m just the guy to do it.

I walk over to where Puck is lying on the chair and pet his head. “You’re lazy, do you know that?” He looks up at me with one eye closed and the other open, telling me I fucked up his nap. “Our friend is coming over. Be nice.”

He does give me a quick rub on the hand with his head before lying down again, just as my doorbell rings and a stupid smile pulls at my lips. Hayes is so fucking fun. I can’t wait to talk to him tonight.

I unlock the door and let him in. He’s in a navy polo shirt and slacks, all cute and proper the way he always dresses. Me, on the other hand, I’m shirtless and free-balling it in Rebels shorts with a hole in the leg.

As he takes a step inside, I say, “Hey, cutie,” and somehow the tip of his shoe gets caught and he trips.

I catch him, laughing as he pulls away, scowling. “You did that on purpose.”

“Called you cute? Yep. You did the tripping yourself.” I close the door behind him. “Want a drink or anything?”

“No, I’m okay.” He walks over to the chair where Puck is sitting and gives him some pets. My traitor cat doesn’t give him the evil eye the way he does with me, instead giving Hayes a whole lot of love. “How are you?”

“Fucking fantastic. Did you watch my game?” I cross my arms.

“I’m not answering that.”

“Please? I need to hear the words. You gotta help me build my ego a little.”

“Your ego is the last thing you need to build.”

Chuckling, I move closer. “You might have a point. Still…” I reach out, grab his waist, and hold on. “Tell me.” I kiss the left side of his throat. “Did my good-luck charm watch my game?” I move my mouth to the other side and kiss there as well, then run my nose along the column of his throat, breathing him in.

“Yes,” he lets out breathlessly, before seeming to catch how he sounds. “It’s the most ridiculous game I’ve ever seen.”

I chuckle, pull him with me, still holding on to his waist, then sit on the couch. Hayes plops down on my lap. He almost immediately scrambles off.

“What are you doing, Rylan?”

“Nothing. I like flirting with you, is all. It’s fun. I like to make you react. But I’ll be good so you can tell me about your night.”

He straightens up beside me. “There’s not much to tell.”

“Start at the beginning.”

“Okay, I drove to Donovan’s house.”

I roll my eyes, but I like that he’s being playful and sarcastic. “You know what I mean.”

“It went well. Donovan is the ER nurse and the one who started messaging me and Anthony. Anthony works at a bar in West Hollywood.”

“Do you realize the first thing you went to is their jobs?”

His brows draw together. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. Just an observation.”

“Are you saying I care what they do? Or that I see their worth in their careers?” He shifts uncomfortably.

“What? No. That’s not what I’m saying. Most of your life is wrapped up in your job. I think in a lot of ways, the Rockwell defines who you are, so it’s interesting that you go the same way when it comes to other people.”

“And hockey doesn’t define you?”

He has a point, but I feel like I’m onto something here. “Of course it does in a way. But no matter how much I love it, I work hard to have a life outside of hockey. And I just… I feel like you deny yourself that, is all.” I reach over and hook my thumb with his.

Hayes watches the movement like a hawk. “What are you doing?”

“Um…touching you? Do you want me to stop?”

“It just doesn’t feel like a thing two people who are just fucking would do, so it’s throwing me.” His gaze snaps to mine. “Not that I think you want a relationship with me. I would never think that.”

His statement doesn’t sit well with me. “Why wouldn’t you think that?”

“Because you told me that,” he replies, and oh, well, I did. “But that’s okay because I don’t want a relationship with you either,” Hayes adds, and my chest feels a little heavy all of a sudden.

“We’re getting off-track again. This isn’t about a relationship. People who are fucking can hold hands. Tell me more about your night.”

“I was trying to, but then things got weird.”

I laugh. “Things aren’t weird.”

He sighs. “I’ve just never done something like this.”

How has no one realized how fucking adorable and sweet he is? I can’t believe someone hasn’t snatched him up earlier, that the only one to give him a chance was an asshole who hurt him. “Do you want me to let go of your hand?”

“Whatever. It’s fine. So…the most important takeaway from my conversation with the Jilted Exes is that it wasn’t me who was bad at sex.”

I realize he’s changing the subject and don’t make it any more difficult on him. “I could have told you that. You’re the hottest ass I’ve had, and I haven’t even had your ass yet.”

He shakes his head in that way he does when he thinks I’m not being serious. “I don’t know why you say things like that.”

“Because they’re true.”

“Yeah. Sure. Okay. Anyway, I…I can’t figure out what you want me to say. I’m not used to talking to people like this. I guess it was nice to be around them since they’ve had the same experience as me—not that I’d want anyone to go through what I did. Malcolm did a lot of the same things to all of us, made us all feel the same way. But…” He lets the word linger, and I notice he’s massaging circles on my hand with his thumb. I don’t think he realizes he’s doing it, and it feels intimate in a way none of the other things we’ve done together have felt intimate.

“But what? You can tell me.” I want him to tell me, want to be a good friend to him.

“He’s called both of them.” Hayes pulls his hand back. I miss the contact, the warmth. “I know that’s stupid to care about. I don’t want to talk to him. I fucking hate him. But…”

I cup his cheek, brush my thumb along his cheekbone the way he’d done to my hand just moments ago. Fire burns through my veins. I fucking hate The Prick, but I’m trying to keep that tamped down right now because it’s not what’s important. “But part of you still feels like, why not me too. That’s normal, Hayes. We’re humans, and our emotions are complex and confusing. They don’t always make sense, but we all want to be wanted. Even if the other person is the biggest piece of shit on earth—which he is, by the way.”

He gives me the small smile I was hoping for.

“Fuck Malcolm.”

Hayes nods. “Yeah. Fuck him. Sorry. I don’t know why I said all that.” He looks away, maybe embarrassed and maybe confused. I also think a part of him needs to keep the walls up because of what he’s been through.

“Because that’s what friends do.” I drop my hand and ask, “Anything else happen?”

“Anthony invited us out to the bar he works at one night. I probably won’t go, though.”

“What? You should. That would be fun. You need to get out more. I’ll go with you if you want.”

He frowns, and at first I think it’s because he’s surprised by my offer, but then I realize it’s because of the media storm we’d create if we were seen together. It’s something we talked about before, but I forgot. “I didn’t think that through.”

He shakes his head.

“You should still go.”

“We’ll see. He didn’t even pick a date yet. It was just a random conversation.” We’re quiet for a moment, and then Hayes says, “It doesn’t matter? That you’re bisexual and a professional hockey player?”

“It’ll always matter to some people, whether it’s in sports or not, but as a whole, it’s been okay. I get assholes saying shit online or once in a while at games, but mostly they forget I’m bi since I don’t date. And it probably helps that we’re in LA and Mads is bi, too.”

“He’s the blocker guy?”

I chuckle. “Yeah, he’s the goalie.”

“Were you nervous when you came out? Are there a lot of out players?”

“Not a lot, but a few, and I think there are always nerves coming out. Even if you know someone is accepting, it can be scary. Wasn’t it that way for you?”

“You’re right. It was. I couldn’t hide it as well as you can, but even though my brain knew my parents wouldn’t give a damn, my heart was too frightened to allow me to say the words the first time. I just figured it would be on an even bigger scale with you.”

I nod. “In some ways, yeah, but you know me, I’m balls to the wall in every aspect of my life. I’m not the type who can really hide who I am or how I feel.”

“I never would have thought,” he jokes.

I nudge him with my arm. “Be nice.”

“I’m super nice. Basically, the nicest.”

We’re quiet again, but it’s comfortable—at least on my side. “I’m proud of you for going and hanging out with them. I know it’s not easy. You’re kinda badass.”

He snorts, then covers his face with his hands as if embarrassed. I can’t hold back my laugh.

“Shut up!” He grabs a couch pillow and tries to playfully hit me with it. I fight over it, wrestling around. He uses his legs to try and push me away, and if I really wanted to, I could get the pillow away, but it’s fun to just play with him this way, to see him let loose.

We’re both laughing as we roll around, me maneuvering him on the couch so Hayes is on his back, me lying on top of him.

The laughter dies as I look down at him, feel him beneath me, see the small smile on his lips and the hunger in his eyes, mixed with the slight blush on his cheeks. Blood rushes toward my groin, Hayes breathing heavily. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

“No I’m not.”

“You are to me,” I say, then roll my hips so my growing erection thrusts against him. He sucks in a sharp breath, and I lean down to take his mouth. He opens it for me, lets my tongue invade him, his hands going to my hips as we rut and move together.

Hayes tastes like mint, and I can’t help wondering if he sucked on one before coming over. Did he know we would end up like this? I can’t pretend I didn’t hope.

I pull my mouth away from his but keep moving my hips, our foreheads pressed together. “I want to fuck you. Want to lick and finger your hole until you’re begging for my cock.”

“Yes. Hell yes.” One of his hands moves to my nape. Hayes tugs me down so our mouths meet again, this time in a battle of tongues and touches. We’re moving together more frantically, the kiss hungry and urgent, as if we’ll lose our chance if we don’t take advantage right now.

He shoves a hand down the back of my shorts, cupping my ass and devouring my mouth. I still can’t get over how little sexual experience he has. I can’t believe no one has ignited this fire in him before, but now that I have, I want nothing more than to fan the flames, to make him feel good. And as much as I just want to go at him, I need to remember that he hasn’t been with anyone in a while, and it will be a whole hell of a lot of fun getting him ready.

I jump off him and stand.

“Where are you going?” he asks, but then I’m pulling him to his feet and tugging him through my living room. “Someone is in a hurry. Are you sure you don’t want to throw me over your shoulder and carry me?”

“Believe me, I thought about it, but I’m still a bit sore from the game and don’t want to hurt myself.”

“Wait. Really? You thought about that? That’s kinda hot. I mean, no! No carrying me.”

We hurry up the stairs, our hands clasped together. “Totally carrying you now. You think it’s hot. It’s okay to think shit like that is sexy, cutie. Remember we’re having all the sex. By the time June comes around, there’s not going to be a damn thing we haven’t done.”

I wonder if we’ll ever hook up after June. Considering we’re friends now, it’s a possibility.

“Yes. Please. That. Lots and lots of sex.”

I snicker as we go into my room, then swat his ass. “You’re so fucking cute.”

“You’re so fucking hot.”

This time, it’s my mouth hanging open because I really like hearing that from Hayes. I’ve been called hot by a lot of people, but it warms my chest to a whole new level hearing it from him.

“What? You know you’re hot.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know you knew it,” I tease.

“Oh my God.” He rolls his eyes, and I grab him, pulling him to me. “Wait,” he adds. “Can I go into the bathroom and freshen up? You know…it’s been a day.”

“Of course. Anything you might need will be in the cabinet or under the sink. I’ll be in bed, playing with my big cock and waiting for you.”

“Okay, I never should have told you it’s big.”

“Cutie.” I wink. “We both know it is.”

He shakes his head, but he’s smiling all the way to the bathroom. When he closes the door behind him, I realize I am too.