47. May 31st

MAY 31ST

Kai

She woketoday the way she'd woken up every day for the last nine days. Waters moving over her, sliding between her legs and inside her body. Today was different, though. He didn't talk to her. He didn't watch her as he made love to her. This time, he had her gathered as close as he could get her, his face buried in her neck. She sensed something was bothering him, but she didn't want to distract him. She was afraid to ask.

Usually, he was all about multiple go-arounds, ramping her up, pulling her over the edge, then winding her back up over and over again until she passed out from exhaustion. But today, he was all about the slow and sweet. When he made her come, he was right behind her on the first wave. And he stopped. He turned onto his side, pulling her with him and grabbing her leg, keeping it over his hip, just laying with her, his head still buried in her neck. He didn't even stroke her skin as he usually did. Instead, he held her tightly to him. Afraid to speak, she simply lay in his arms. He'd tell her what was wrong when he was ready and not before.

He sighed, and then she understood.

It's over. We're back to the real world.

It wasn't like she believed they were going to live out the rest of their lives like they had the last ten days. In fact, she should have known yesterday that this was coming. They were rarely apart longer than a few minutes at a time, but he had to take a phone call away from her, which he did upstairs behind the secured confines of the steel and bulletproof glass, and he'd been quiet when he came downstairs almost an hour later.

"I love you, Kai." She smiled at his admission, even though she felt sad. The inflection of his voice was honest but painful. As if he was going to follow with something she wouldn't want to hear.

"I love you, too, Taj." She turned her head and kissed his hair. "When do we leave?"

He raised his head to look into her eyes. "We need to be on the road in half an hour."

She nodded and peeled herself from his body. Collecting her bag from the closet floor, she went into the bathroom and got into the shower. When she emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later, she saw that he was no longer in the room, and she could hear water running down the hall.

She glanced at the mussed bed. He truly was out of sorts. He never left the bed without making it, a holdover from his military days, even if he intended to have her back in it within the hour. Sadly, she smiled and left it unmade. A last piece of her for him when she didn't return because, despite his claims of the opposite, she didn't honestly believe a future for them was possible.

Downstairs, she gathered up the few personal items she had and stowed them in her bag, just in time to hear Taj come down the steps heavy-footed and buckling his watch.

Another oddity. He always moves like a cat, with no sound.

He pulled her into his arms, saying nothing, and just held her tight. They stayed like that until his text alert went off. Arms around his waist, she gazed up into his face as he smoothed back those stray hairs from her ponytail that he loved to try and tame into submission. Standing on tiptoe, she brushed her lips to his, nuzzled him with the tip of her nose, and then backed away to grab her bag.

He stood, watching her inscrutably, then turned to disarm the security system and open the door. TB was leaning on the hood of his truck. "G'day, boys and girls. Ready?"

"Morning, TB," Kai greeted him. "Ready." With that, she walked out the door toward Nemo, who held the rear passenger side door open for her into the back seat of the Humvee. Waters entered from the other side, Nemo hopped up into the front passenger seat, and TB took over behind the wheel.

Demon and Steel were getting into Steel's Avalanche and following behind.

Waters grabbed her hand, laced their fingers together, and placed it on his thigh.

No one said a word the entire drive to Tribe.

And what would anyone say anyway?

When they arrived in the underground parking garage of the office, TB and Nemo got out of the truck, closely followed into the elevator by Demon and Steel, but Waters made no move to get out. Kai looked at their fingers twined together, wishing she had something pithy to say, but nothing would come.

It was Waters who broke the silence. "He wants to see you."

Kai frowned. "Who?"

"God." His thumb stroked hers back and forth. "Yesterday, he said he wanted to see you first thing today when I brought you in."

"Why?"

Waters shrugged. "He didn't say."

"Okay. He's actually here? I thought he had a batcave somewhere or an Area 52."

Huffing a dark laugh, Waters shook his head. "No, he lives in the penthouse of the building."

"He's here? Then why the whole Charlie's Angels secrecy thing?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. We've learned not to ask questions."

It was then that Waters projected himself out of the back seat and came around to her side of the vehicle. She could see he was grinding his teeth, forcing whatever emotion he was feeling back down his throat. When they got to the elevator and she stepped inside, Waters did not get in with her. "Just be yourself, Kai." He lingeringly kissed her on the cheek, then stepped back and closed the elevator door on her.

The elevator moved almost immediately, smoothly, and quickly up toward the penthouse apartment. She placed a hand on her stomach, trying to quell her nerves.

As the car came to a stop, the voice coming from the speaker startled her. "No need to shake in your shoes, Kubrick. I don't bite."

Hand to her heart, she chided, "Please don't tell me I'm going to stand in this elevator to have this conversation with you. It's a bit like talking to the Wizard of Oz before Toto pulls back the curtain."

The elevator door opened onto a living space that was done in browns and golds, heavy on leather seating and cherry woods. She stood just inside the car, her head poking past the threshold.

"Hello?"

"I'm on the patio, Kubrick!" God called impatiently.

Tentatively, she stepped out of the car, the doors closing immediately behind her. When she turned to look, it was like the elevator doors didn't exist, they blended into the walls so seamlessly. Slowly, she walked through the living space, noticing that despite the dark furniture, the room appeared light. Parquet flooring and the gold accents on all the furniture reflected the sun pouring in through the large skylight over the living room. Continuing through the space, she approached an open sliding door that led out onto a large wooden patio framed in green plants. A hot tub was embedded in the far-left corner, which connected to another room in the penthouse. Framed by a pergola covered in ivy, the view to it was blocked to anyone who might be outside its walls.

Not that you could see anyone without being in a plane, anyway. Too freaking high for me!

"Thank you for joining me, Kubrick."

The voice came from her right, and she turned to an unexpected sight. Sitting in a dark brown high-backed wicker chair with gold cushions, a movie-star quality man in his mid-forties sat facing her, his forearms resting on the chair arms. A linen suit coat hung over the back of the chair. He wore a white dress shirt and sky-blue tie; his hair was dark blond, cut short, and parted over his left eye. His eyes were a lively green and while he wasn't smiling, one corner of his mouth ticked up in a sort of smirk, like he was enjoying her discomfort.

"Sit. Cherry is just bringing breakfast."

"Well, I'm really not—"

"I don't recall phrasing it as a question."

Wow. He's as bossy as before, but otherwise, totally not what I pictured.

Kai sat across from God, unfolding the linen napkin into her lap. Cherry appeared suddenly to her right, placing a plate in front of her. Three fluffy pancakes, chock full of chocolate chips, drizzled with chocolate sauce, real whipped cream, and raspberry garnished on top.

Kai looked at God, one eyebrow raised. "Someone's done their homework. Is this why Waters didn't feed me this morning?"

"Told him you were having breakfast with me and wanted to know what you actually ate. Some of what he told me was appalling. This seemed safest, but he said despite the crap content, the sexiest thing he's ever seen you do is eat."

"I'm not sure whether to be insulted or turned on that eating is my sexiest feature." She took her first bite of the pancakes, and her eyes rolled back in her head.

God stared. "I didn't believe him yesterday when I talked to him, but he was right.

Kai opened her eyes to dive into another bite. "Right about what?"

"That watching you eat is sexy as fuck." He snorted and shook his head.

Kai stopped mid-bite, the fork still in her mouth, lips wrapped around it.

These men are so weird.

She dragged the fork from between her lips, desperately working to keep from acting like a total heathen and licking the chocolate sauce left behind on the tines. She almost didn't succeed. "Dare I ask why?" she questioned after she was done chewing.

"We're in L.A., Kubrick. Women subsist on kale, water, and somehow air. I've rarely seen any of them eat. And when they do, it is not with the abandon and enjoyment that causes moaning. Food orgasms, indeed."

"I did not moan," she whispered.

"I'm afraid you did. He warned me you would. He also warned me about your filter that causes you to say things out loud that you shouldn't. No wonder he couldn't resist. I'm actually a little jealous."

"How embarrassing." She blushed and began to set her fork down.

"Don't you dare, Kubrick," God growled. "Eat. I prefer women who enjoy things. Then we need to talk."

Breakfast was quiet, but not nearly as scary as she had thought it would be. By the last bite, her bravado had reined in, and her curiosity was going full throttle.

"So," she began, "why am I really here? I know it truly wasn't to watch me eat."

God sat back in his chair, dabbing his face with the napkin to catch any stray food crumbs or chocolate sauce. "I wanted to let you know that your producer has gone missing. It was quite the mystery for three or four days." His inflection was deceptively light, like he had no clue himself what had happened. "Eventually, the authorities discovered that a large number of his personal items were missing, as well. And a Mr. Kowalski informed the police that a large amount of studio funds is also gone. A string of airline tickets, paid for in cash and under a variety of names, has led the local authorities to believe he has absconded with his embezzled funds to South America. Of course, they've been unable to catch him on any security cameras or other means.

"They'll continue to watch for a while, but eventually, something bigger will come along, and he'll be long forgotten," he reassured her. "Probably sooner rather than later. You know Hollywood and its scandals."

There was a pregnant pause as they studied each other.

"I owe you a thank you. For not turning me over to the police and for helping him escape, so to speak."

He waved her thanks aside. "He deserved worse. The guy was a total fuckwitch."

Kai smiled.

"However, more importantly than giving you that news, I wanted to see you up close and personal. I'm good, but despite my reputation, there are a few things that I can't tell through a computer screen. Normally, that's when Waters comes in handy, but he's not exactly unbiased in this instance. Besides, this is a little more personal."

"And what would that be?"

He waited, probably trying to make her squirm. When it didn't work, the napkin in his hand was laid down on the table, and he continued. Elbows on the table, fingers threaded together into a single fist on the table's surface, he declared, "I wanted to make sure that the woman who's causing me to lose my best operative is worth that loss. It puts me back immeasurably if it ends up being a mistake. He's already damaged goods after working with you, but I can't afford for him to become irreparably damaged to where he is no longer useful to me."

Kai stared into God's green cat eyes and stiffened her spine. She could feel the anger pulling up from the soles of her feet to the top of her head. "Taj is not damaged," she spat at him. "He's worth more to you than any of the other men just by breathing. How much more will you ask him to give up to make your balance sheet come out in the positive? What is so fucking important to you about him?"

God glowered at her, and he leaned in, hands on the table. "Loyalty, Kubrick. Absolute loyalty. He is, in this world, the right hand of God. By declaring himself to you, his loyalty is now divided." He leaned back in his chair. "Fuck that, he's loyal to you first, which makes him compromised. If he is compromised, his team becomes compromised, which in turn means I'm compromised. Our tribe is everything, and I can't just let him throw that all away over Hollywood pussy."

"You bastard!" she hissed, shoving herself up and away from the table. "I am done dealing with men like you. Men like Stapleton who think just because they have a dick and deep pockets, they can bully people to do their bidding. Tired of being treated like I'm somebody's toy. Tired of having to defend every woman who comes into contact with men like you who think that two X chromosomes mean the bearer is weak and controlled by her estrogen levels.

"I didn't ask Waters to leave the field. If he chose to do that, then he did it without telling me or even discussing it, which is a conversation he and I will be having later when I have room to kick him in the solar plexus. That shit does not fly with me. That decision affects us both.

"And as for loyalty, Taj gives it in spades. His first thought is always to others. Where is your loyalty to him?"

God had watched her entire tirade impassively. He shifted in his seat, one forearm resting on the chair's arm, the opposite hand gripping the other arm of his chair. "Are you finished?"

She was so angry she didn't trust herself to say more.

"Sit down, Kubrick."

She glared at him. Despite wanting to storm away, she did.

"My loyalty, Ms. Serrano, is always to Taylor Miller. I could have left him for dead in Egypt two years ago. Has he told you what happened?"

"Yes. He told me while at the cabin." She'd been horrified at what had happened to Taj's sister. Despaired at the decision he'd had to make to go after her alone after God had denied him support. Appalled at what that decision had cost him, mentally and physically. He hadn't wanted to tell her, but he chose to do it so she would understand why he had let himself push her away rather than fight for her. And she couldn't blame him for it.

God continued, "I know you feel that my loyalty to Waters is hypocritical based on his sister's situation."

"How could you not support him? I'm trying not to judge because I only know a small piece of the puzzle."

"Understand this, Kubrick. I would do anything for the tribe except put them in a no-win situation. Sarah Miller was a no-win situation. Everyone, including Sarah herself, knew it.

"When she was taken, it was not to sell her into sexual slavery. She was a pawn to be sacrificed to get straight at Waters for interfering in these traffickers' pipeline. Yes, she was brutalized. Yes, she was raped. Yes, Waters was forced to endure it in person while it happened. But know this. She would have died that way, no matter what. No matter how long it would have taken, she would have been held in captivity until Waters was secured so that he could witness her death.

"So while it killed me to say no, I did because I knew that it would cause me to lose not just Sarah, but Waters and potentially the other five as well. Had Waters not gone off in a heated rush, she would have lived. Not happily, not comfortably, and maybe not safely. But she would have lived, and hopefully, we would have found a better route to get to her in the future." His voice changed to something broken with his next statement. "It was never my intention to leave her there permanently."

He looked off into the empty sky as he spoke. "Did you know that he advised another family whose daughter was taken in retribution for an act of theirs of the exact same thing? That's the cruel irony of the whole situation. He analyzed a similar situation, presented the scenario to the family, and denied the job. Said that it had less than a one percent chance of succeeding. That more information was needed. We wouldn't give up. We would watch and wait for a better opportunity. They should trust us to update them when it was a viable situation to go in for a rescue. It was not prudent, even for my ridiculously skilled team, to go running off to Egypt to rescue the girl at that time."

"What happened?" Kai asked, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"The family stormed out. Found another group of mercenaries who were willing to take the job. Waters even tried to warn the men off by handing over our intel. Not a professional courtesy, but because he was convinced that going after the girl then was suicide. Turned out he was one hundred percent accurate. The mercenaries were captured, they were killed, and they were returned home to their boss in a box. In very small pieces."

"And the girl?"

"No idea. Then Sarah was taken in retribution for a different reclamation assignment that Waters executed. Despite being the same intel he had gathered on the original girl, despite my direct orders not to do it, he went after Sarah anyway. If he hadn't had a tracker inside him, we would have had no idea where to look for him.

"So we plotted and planned. For two months. He suffered being tortured, watching her assaults, knowing no one was coming to get them, for two long, hopeless months. I knew that if I sent the team in to get them, the odds were zero that I would get all seven of them out of there alive. They thought that if they could free Sarah, whatever happened to the rest of them was fine. That Waters would feel the same. So, knowing it was a suicide mission, those five men he leads went after their boss and their teammate, but this time with my blessing."

"Does he know?"

"About the mercenaries and the girl? Now, yes." He turned his angry glare onto her, but somehow, she knew he wasn't angry at her. "I am so loyal to Waters that I am willing to let him change his paradigm with me. But I had to know that anyone he was willing to fight me for would also fight for him. Even if the odds were zero percent."

Kai stared at God. "The rule."

He nodded. "The rule."

Another fucking test.

"Yes, it is a test."

She grimaced.

"And there's the unintentional speaking." He grinned briefly. "It's for all of them. I'm not a monster, Kubrick. No one should go through life alone. But if they're going to get involved with someone, romantically or otherwise, the consequences can be astronomical for all of the team. Therefore, it had better be someone whom it's worth breaking the rule for. No one leaves the tribe. Because to be let go from the tribe means to be let go from this world. And not just digitally erased."

The weight of God's words lay heavily on her heart. "I'm not worth that."

"He feels differently. And the fact that every single one of his team would throw down for you and him should tell you that you are worth it. Especially Demon, whose damage goes so deep, I don't know that he can ever redeem himself. But mark my words, if any of them felt you were less than worth it, they would let him know. None of those men are shy about sharing their opinions."

"I don't want him to give up what he loves. He loves this job. If this is it, then he should do it."

"I'm losing the operative, Kubrick, not the man. He'll continue on as he has been this past year. He has a true talent for the work. He's a fantastic operative, but he's an even better analyst, which I knew he would be one day, and why I recruited him to begin with. He just needed time to mature from the hothead that he was. And now that he's found someone to stand beside him, he's an even better man. Or, at the very least, he's found someone to kick his ass to make sure he stays that way." He glared at her. "Take care of him, Kubrick."

Kai stood shakily from the table and began to cross to the elevator. It was when she got level with his office that she stopped flat-footed. On her way in, the partially open door had been in such a position that she couldn't see inside. Now, coming from the opposite direction, she could. Her curiosity got the better of her, so she walked to the threshold and gently eased the office door open further.

Without realizing she had done so, she stepped into the center of the room and turned three hundred and sixty degrees, finding herself closed in by walls covered in framed movie poster prints. The Shining. A Clockwork Orange. Paths of Glory. Lolita. More. They appeared to run completely around the room like a fence line.

When she was facing the doorway, it was to see him following her with the help of a wheelchair.

"I wondered why ‘Kubrick' for my name. A bit of a fanboy?" she teased.

His gaze locked with hers, and she saw respect within. "Because from the very first, you reminded me of his story. You carry so many of his traits. Self-taught. No patterns to your work in terms of content. You allow your actors to create and be a part of the birthing and aging of the film. You plan meticulously, but you also are willing to recognize when something doesn't work, that the plan can be improvised upon successfully. But most important? You refuse to sacrifice art for art's sake."

"That's how you run your team."

"I allow them to run by themselves. Like you, I merely facilitate. Just like you do with your actors. You and I are not so different."

She bowed her head at him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For looking out for me. For rescuing my brother's wife and son. For continuing to look for my brother. For gifting me Taj."

"Thank you for recognizing that he is, in fact, a gift. But don't thank me until your brother is home, safe and sound, to be with his wife and child." He scowled. "Go to Taylor, Kai. Kick his ass for not discussing his choice with you, then kiss and make up. And tell him that I don't want to see him for at least four weeks."

With a grin, she replied, "You know he won't listen."

"No, he's stubborn. He's already planning to be back in two weeks. That is when I really want him back anyway. And then he'll say fuck it and stay out six weeks just to be an assclown." He winked. "I know how to work my people."

"Can I ask another question?"

"I believe you just did." She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. His eyebrow arched. "I'd quote his rule six to you, but I'd run the risk of death for speaking about your tongue. What's your question?"

"Why do they call you God?"

"Ah." He gave a single nod of understanding, then shrugged. "Because I'm a faceless voice in the cloud. I rule all when it comes to Tribe, my creation. Because, unfortunately, sometimes I decide who lives and who dies."

She thought about the missing girl.

About Sarah.

About Waters.

About her.

"They've never seen you, have they?"

"Only Cherry."

"And now me."

"And now you."

"Why? Why me?"

"Every once in a while, there are certain people that I need to speak with instead of to. Like my namesake."

She nodded in return. "Thank you for not setting something on fire to do it," she joked. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Your secrets are safe with me. Always." And then she turned and left.