Chapter 24 Lottie

Chapter 24

Lottie

After the game in Denver, something changed between me and Nolan. Over the next few weeks, our time together extended beyond practices and games. Suddenly, Nolan was everywhere. After practices he would either invite me over for dinner or show up at mine to cook and it was always just an evening of enjoying each other's company. We hadn't had sex since that first night together at his place, despite several times that I wanted nothing more than to forget the boundaries I had set and just give in to the desire building inside of me. What was most surprising to me was how I didn't seem to mind spending so much time with him and how within a few weeks it felt all too normal.

When the buzzer of my apartment rang the morning after the fourteenth game of the season, I wasn't surprised to see Nolan coming up the stairs with two coffees in his hands. He wore a beanie to fight off the cold winter weather that had started to settle in around the city of Chicago. His sharp cheekbones were hidden behind a layer of stubble that he had started to grow out and my fingers itched to run down the lines of his cheeks to feel it.

"Good morning," I greeted him, happily accepting the coffee he extended out to me. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I had given Nolan the morning off after yesterday's win to give his body time to recover. I'd watched a completely different Nolan Hill play these past few weeks. It looked as if he was free of the burden of pressure he had placed on himself at the start of the season. He looked freer while he was playing, and I even saw him smile and laugh a few times throughout the games. Nolan's change in attitude had unlocked the missing piece of chemistry the team needed, and the Bobcats had marched to thirteen wins and one loss on the season. It was slowly becoming a historic year for the organization, as they now had the best record the program had ever seen.

Normally at this point in the season, the players began to drag—exhausted from how physical professional football games could be on their bodies. But the energy that radiated off Nolan made him look like a man full of excitement rather than someone who had been pushing his body to the limit for the past three and a half months.

"Since you gave me an off day today, I had an idea," Nolan told me as he folded his long frame onto my couch. "I know you wanted to complete your bucket list before the end of the year and there's one thing on it that I kept thinking about. I thought today would be the perfect day to do it."

My mind sorted through the remaining items on my list before I realized which one he was talking about.

"A yes day?" I asked. Nolan nodded, his smile revealing his excitement for his idea. I had been thinking about this since Olivia had put it on my list. Normally a yes day consisted of a day where parents had to say yes to everything a kid asked, but Olivia had wanted this to be a day where everyone else told me to do something that I had to say yes to—with the intention of me doing things that I normally never would have done for myself. Olivia had wanted today to be a day where I was pampered instead of constantly being the person to pamper everyone else.

"I've been working with Olivia and Maggie on it, so it won't just be me telling you to do something for yourself today. I wanted the people that you care about in your life and that know you best to contribute."

Every response I could have had died on my tongue. I wasn't used to someone doing something for me that was so thoughtful. He'd taken the time to include my sister and friend to make sure they were involved in today.

He's just love bombing you. Remember when your father would bring home your favorite candy after he missed out on important events for yet another football game? He knows what you want to hear and what you want him to do and he's using it to his advantage.

I forced that voice out of my mind, refusing to let the man who ruined most of my childhood leech anything else from my life.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked as I sipped on the coffee he'd given me. The taste of vanilla hit my tongue and I realized that Nolan had given me my exact coffee order. He must have noticed it from all those mornings after our runs where I'd make a coffee as he went through his treatment routine.

"I made an appointment for you this morning at the Waldorf Astoria Spa. I got my mother a spa day there last year and she loved it. She suggested it for today."

My heart paused when I realized he'd taken the time to ask his mother about his first idea. Whether or not his mother knew who he was getting a spa day for, a nervous energy swelled in my stomach.

"You don't need to get ready for anything because Olivia made sure I booked a hair appointment while you were there too. She may have said she could count the months since you'd last had a hair appointment by the inches of root that was showing." Nolan coughed when he finished relaying my sister's message, clearly uncomfortable with how the two of us operated in our relationship.

"Of course she said that." I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my coat. "Did you book a massage for yourself while we're there or are you just dropping me off?"

"I was planning on waiting for you. I hadn't booked anything for myself. Today's supposed to be a day for you, not me." Nolan held the front door open for me as the two of us took the stairs down to his Range Rover waiting on the curb outside.

"Is there any way you can book one? I think you'd really benefit from it … And I wouldn't mind having you there with me."

Nolan looked like he wanted to argue again about how today was supposed to be just for me, but he stopped himself when he realized this was something I wanted and not just a sneaky way for me to still worry about taking care of him.

"I'll ask when we get there," he conceded.

The Waldorf Astoria was on the north side of downtown and only a few blocks away from Magnificent Mile, the stretch of Michigan Avenue known as Chicago's premier commercial district. The Waldorf Astoria's architecture was made to replicate the buildings in Paris with its private terraces, dramatic archways, and light-colored stone.

It was easily the most luxurious building I had ever stepped foot in and not somewhere I would have ever taken myself to. A large Christmas tree sat in the middle of the front courtyard, twinkling golden lights flashing against silver and gold ornaments. String lights crisscrossed around the u-shaped space, making the area feel like its own personal Christmas wonderland. The entire lobby was full of smaller Christmas trees and a large roaring fireplace crackled in the corner near a small sitting area. Velvet bows were tied around the old sconces dotted through the lobby and "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby filled the room from an old record player in the sitting area.

People in business professional attire bustled around and I felt out of place in my jeans and sweater. Nolan was dressed similarly next to me, but he'd somehow managed to make his jeans and flannel combination look like it was straight off the runway compared to my dressed-down appearance.

Nolan led me toward a golden elevator, giving a few nods to people that recognized him as we walked through the few people lingering around the lobby. He selected the tenth floor where the spa was and the two of us stood in comfortable silence as the elevator rose.

The spa had the same Parisian architecture that the rest of the building had, except everything was brighter and airier with the hope of providing a relaxing space. A woman dressed all in white greeted us at the front desk.

"I paid for a package for Charlotte Thompson," Nolan told the woman. I watched the woman's eyes roam over Nolan's face and the length of his body before she went to look for the name he'd given her. She hadn't even bothered to notice me standing next to him. My stomach twisted as I watched the woman's eyes flick back to Nolan as if she were hoping his attention would be on her. Part of me wanted to reach out and slip my arm into his, but then I remembered that wasn't necessarily something we'd ever talked about after I had shut down his initial advances.

"I have it here." The woman looked up and finally noticed me standing next to Nolan. Her gaze was full of judgement as she looked me up and down. I tried to keep the heat of embarrassment from flooding my cheeks. "Is that all you needed?"

"I wanted to add a massage for myself while I wait for her," Nolan told the woman, completely oblivious to her interest in him and clear disinterest in me.

The woman clicked on her keyboard for a few moments. "The only thing we would be able to do is switch Charlotte's massage to a couple's massage."

There was a question lingering in the air from the worker as if she were waiting for Nolan to confirm if I was just his sister or if we were together.

"That's fine." It took everything in me to keep my eyebrows from rising in surprise at his answer. The woman pursed her lips before she clicked on her keyboard for a few more moments.

"The two of you can follow me. We can get you in for your massage first." Any interest the woman had in Nolan had disappeared as she led us to a room with two massage beds in the center. Plush white robes were laid out on chairs next to each bed. Steam was being pumped into the room and soft music trickled in from the speakers in the ceiling.

Nolan didn't hesitate before he began to discard his layers while I stood frozen just inside the door. When he realized I wasn't also undressing to slip under the sheet on my massage table, he stopped. "Are you okay?"

On instinct, I nodded my head. But I knew my wide eyes and slack jaw told a different story as I watched Nolan dress down into his underwear. We'd obviously seen each other completely naked before but that had been in the confines of Nolan's apartment where I could have convinced myself that none of it was real and we were living in our own fantasy. Standing in a room with him as the two of us were expected to undress and have an intimate couple's massage together felt very real. Together with how thoughtful Nolan had been with arranging today for me, my feelings were a jumbled mess.

Before Nolan could realize why I was staring at him like it was the first time I'd ever laid eyes on his body, I turned around to face away from him while I stripped down to my bra and underwear. But not before noticing the way my entire body felt drawn to him in a way that I couldn't explain, or maybe didn't want to explain.

"You know I've seen you naked before, right?" Nolan asked, sending heat through every inch of my body. I did my best to pretend like I hadn't heard him as I quickly slid under the sheet and lay face down on my table.

"Make sure they work your upper back and neck well, that's where you like to carry your stress," I started to tell him.

Nolan made a noise that cut me off. "You're not on duty today, Lottie. I can take care of myself. Just enjoy the day without having to worry about anyone other than yourself."

I stayed quiet as I realized I didn't know how to worry about just myself. All my life there had always been someone else that was my responsibility to care for—Olivia, my clients, or the players on the team I was working for.

As I closed my eyes once the massage began, I realized that since I wasn't used to having my needs be met, prioritizing myself felt selfish even though it shouldn't. And the man lying next to me right now was forcing me to see how worthy I was of these things.

"This is part two of your day," Nolan told me once he pulled up in front of my favorite Mexican restaurant in downtown Chicago that I rarely ever had the time to go to. "Olivia and Maggie are already inside waiting for you. I'll pick you up afterwards because the last part of your day involves me again."

"You're not eating with us?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment from my voice.

Nolan shook his head. "It's a girl's lunch. Who would I be to intrude on that?"

The car behind us honked, stopping me from being able to convince him to come in. Nolan gave me the biggest smile, truly happy that he got to do something for me instead of it being the other way around.

"I'll see you soon," he shouted out the window after I shut the door to his car. "Have fun!"

With that, he pulled off the curb and disappeared into the Chicago traffic. I gave Olivia's name to the hostess just inside the door and she escorted me to a table in the back that was already occupied by my two best friends.

"You look like a brand-new person!" Olivia jumped up from the table and wrapped her arms around me. "You've got a certain glow about you now."

"Do we think it has anything to do with a certain quarterback?" Maggie asked as Olivia and I sat down.

I flashed her a look. "Why would you say that?"

"Oh, you know," Maggie replied with faux innocence. "Just that he meticulously planned this entire day and sent detailed texts to both me and your sister about this. Doesn't seem like something that would happen in a casual relationship."

Both Maggie and Olivia were giving me knowing looks as they watched me struggle to come up with a response to tell them otherwise.

"I thought today was supposed to be all about me and what I want, so shouldn't that include answering your interrogation questions?" I asked.

Olivia shook her head slowly. "Not so fast there, Lottie. Today is a yes day where you can't say no to anything. So, if we want you to actually have a real conversation about the guy you clearly like, then you kind of have to. It falls under the rules."

I was saved for only a few moments by the waiter asking for our drink orders before it was time to face the music. "I don't know what you want me to say," I started.

"It's a yes or no question, Lottie. Do you like Nolan Hill or not?" Olivia was direct and to the point.

The answer was easy for me. I'd known for a few months that I liked Nolan, that much was obvious. But what I was struggling with was what I was going to do about it. There was just over a month left in the season, but even when the season ended, that didn't address the voice inside of my head telling me I wasn't worthy of him, that I wasn't worthy to be loved, and part of me wondered if maybe it was true. Maybe I was always meant to be there for others but never have someone be there for me. Maybe I really didn't know how to love someone because I'd never had the chance to be taught how growing up.

"I do like him," I told Olivia after I fought through all the thoughts in my head. Even though Maggie and Olivia looked like they were waiting for me to say more, that was as much as I could give them with complete certainty for now.

"That man matches your energy." Olivia's voice was casual, but the intensity of her gaze told me that she thought I better not write this one off like any of the other guys I'd dated, or she'd never let me hear the end of it.

"I've never seen you smile as much as you have since you've sat down," Maggie added. "And I think we can all agree why that is."

I wanted to tell them that I was just happy with where my life was right now, but that wasn't the whole truth. I was happy with my life right now, but a lot of that had to do with Nolan. Laughter and smiles always came easy with him. So instead of denying it, I simply let the small smile spread across my face at the thought of him and enjoyed my favorite restaurant with two of my favorite people without letting the fear living in the back of my mind ruin the moment.