Chapter 14 Lottie

Chapter 14

Lottie

Everything seemed to have gone back to the way it was during those early weeks between me and Nolan. After Nolan had apologized to me on the plane back from Orlando, he faithfully showed up every morning for our run and stayed for treatment afterward. Even after the team's first loss, Nolan didn't miss a beat with coaching his team on how to move forward from it. He was the most outspoken during film, pointing out the team's mistakes—and most importantly his own—while offering how they could make the proper changes or implement strategies to stop the train wreck that happened against the Orlando Dream from happening again.

He was a true leader.

While I couldn't help but be happy for him and the progress he'd made, my mind hadn't moved on from our conversation on the flight home. Even two weeks later, my mind was still playing through our conversation and if I had done the right thing.

When Nolan had first brought up the conversation, I had been furious. I had left the Cougars game wondering if he was interested in me, but then was nearly devastated when he avoided me. I had grown certain that he'd regretted whatever had transpired between us in that parking lot. I had even started to wonder if I had imagined the tension that had built up between us when there had been less than an inch between our bodies. I would have thought that he'd confirmed my theory for me with his apology if it hadn't been for the way his eyes had kept darting down to my lips.

I had to agree with Nolan's suggestion. We could be colleagues and nothing more. But that didn't stop me from staring a few seconds too long at him after our run this morning when he'd lifted his shirt to swipe at the sweat on his forehead once we'd gotten back to the facility.

I had even stopped responding to any messages I got on my dating app over the past week. None of them seemed of any interest to me after I had started to realize that I had feelings for Nolan Hill, even if they couldn't be acted upon.

Olivia and Maggie had both noticed my lack of suitors, but I had written it off on the season getting busier, which seemed to tide them over for now. That still didn't stop them from forcing me out of my apartment on a Friday night the following week to celebrate the Cougars going to the World Series. I would have blown them off if it hadn't been for them inviting nearly all the Bobcats as well.

Derek had cornered me in the training room and begged me to go after I had told him I had plans to curl up with a cup of tea and book tonight after practice. He ended up being quite convincing and that night I found myself in a bar in downtown Chicago that the Cougars had bought out instead of curled up with a good book at home. It had been decorated to celebrate Halloween, even though it was a few days after Halloween and no one was wearing costumes.

"I'm so glad that you came!" Olivia exclaimed.

We were sitting in a large circular booth with Maggie, Tommy, Adam, Jamil, Nolan, Derek, and Hawthorn. Both the Cougars and Bobcats were slowly trickling into the bar as the night started to get underway.

It wasn't that I didn't like going out. Olivia had invited me out with the Cougars before and I genuinely enjoyed all the guys. Tommy was always sober nowadays and was fun to have a conversation with about sports. Jamil was a lot like Derek—outgoing and typically turned into the life of the party whenever he started drinking. I had never been around Adam Steel before because he never usually went out with his team. Tonight seemed to be an exception of his normal rule.

I was surrounded by great company, but it wasn't the sum of the party I had wanted to avoid tonight. It was one person in particular—Nolan Hill. I was afraid that if I consumed any alcohol, I would do something that would jeopardize all the work he and I had done to get back on good terms with our working relationship. The last thing we needed was for me to put him in an uncomfortable position by drunkenly telling him I thought the white t-shirt and Bobcats letterman jacket he was wearing might have been the hottest combination I'd ever seen.

Olivia and I had been among the first to arrive after the two of us got ready at my apartment. The moment I saw Nolan Hill walk in, my entire body lit up like that navy and red letterman jacket had been a Molotov cocktail thrown directly at me. I somehow managed to suppress the groan that wanted to escape from my lips at the sight of him tonight, so I didn't draw any suspicion from my sister.

That was also on the list of last things I needed.

I wasn't sure when it happened. It must have been somewhere between Nolan Hill cornering me in the parking lot outside of the Cougars' game and him telling me he just wanted to be friends, but there was a heightened awareness of how attractive Nolan was and how I couldn't do anything about it.

This was not a situation I thought I'd ever find myself in—attracted to one of my players, to one of my clients —and I was suddenly on uncharted grounds. I had been trying to dodge Nolan's eye contact from the second he walked in, because I was afraid that if he looked at me, he'd realize that I very much did not want to be "just friends" with him.

Avoiding eye contact became even harder when I started to feel the weight of his gaze on my face. Suddenly, it was far too warm in the bar for my leather jacket and tank top.

"Can we get a round of tequila shots?" Olivia asked the waiter when he stopped by to replace the bottle of champagne on the table, compliments of the Cougars c-suite.

When the tray of shots was dispersed among the table, I tried to wave mine off, but my sister was even more intimidating than Nolan Hill was on my first day with the Bobcats.

"You are having fun tonight." Olivia emphasized the word fun by aggressively placing the shot of tequila in front of me.

I slowly glanced up to find Nolan watching me, his eyes narrowed as if he were trying to figure something out. The second our eyes met, the entire table melted away and for just a moment it was only the two of us. I was grateful he was all the way across the table from me because I wasn't sure I would keep my hands to myself.

My hand wrapped around the shot glass and brought it up to my lips, our eye contact only breaking when I tipped my head back to let the sharp liquor slide down the back of my throat. I could vaguely hear Olivia cheer next to me as she watched me down the shot, but I could only focus on a pair of intense brown eyes as they stared back at me.

"I'll take one more of these," I told the waiter as I lifted the shot glass up.

Once the second shot of tequila was gone, I pulled Olivia out of the booth and motioned for Maggie to detach herself from her boyfriend to come up with us. There were a few of the players' wives on the dance floor, but for the most part there wasn't much dancing happening tonight—just a large amount of alcohol being consumed as the celebration continued.

The only solution to quell the pressure building in my chest with being near Nolan tonight was to put some physical distance between the two of us. Olivia and Maggie must not have noticed anything unusual because the two threw their hands up in the air as they began to dance to the song that was pumping through the bar's speakers.

I let myself get lost in the thumps of the bass notes as I laughed at Maggie's poor attempt at twerking. Tommy was probably losing his mind trying not to walk over and throw her over his shoulder to haul her off the dance floor. My hands ran through my hair to lift it off my neck to cool myself off as I swayed my hips to the beat of the song. My eyes drifted closed as the pressure in my chest from Nolan finally eased enough for me to enjoy myself.

Three songs passed by before Olivia and Maggie left the dance floor to get another drink at the bar, leaving me alone. I didn't mind though, because for the first time in months, I felt exhilarated by the energy around me. Just for tonight, I wanted to live in the moment. For once in my life, I didn't even mind any of the eyes that I felt watching me as I enjoyed the warmth of the tequila buzzing through my body and a good song.

The next song was a slow jam with a deep bass and just as I began to twirl in a circle, a pair of hands slipped onto the curves of my hips with a strong assured grip, but light enough that I knew I could slip out of it if I wanted to.

I glanced over my shoulder to see brown wavy hair that was styled to perfection and a pair of intense brown eyes that held a fire in them that I had only ever seen once before, in the parking lot after the Cougars game.

There was a question in them as well, as if he were giving me the out to call him on the fact that this wasn't very "friendly" of him. But instead of taking the obvious safe option—the appropriate option—I only turned back around and let my body move to the sound of the music. Nolan's fingertips dug into me the moment he realized I wasn't going to kick his ass and I felt more secure than a football in a receiver's arms.

I could feel the heat radiating from Nolan's body as he pulled me flush to him. After the two of us settled into each other's space his hands slipped around my hips and his fingers dipped under the hem of my tank top as they rested on the inch of exposed skin there from where it had ridden up while I danced. Before I could fully register what was happening, I felt his nose trail a path through my hair and toward the side of my jaw. Only the second it felt like Nolan had completely invaded all my space did I finally come to my senses to remember where we were and what we were doing in front of both the Cougars and the Bobcats.

The song came to an end, and I pulled myself out of his grip, ignoring the way my body noticed the absence of his warmth.

"I—" I turned to tell him that this was a mistake until I saw the look on his face. He looked drunk—and judging by the flush in his cheeks, his enlarged pupils, and the way his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips when we made eye contact, it wasn't from alcohol.

"I'm going to—" My brain was five steps behind my mouth as I tried to form a full sentence. Once I realized that wasn't going to be possible while I was this close to him, I turned on my heel and darted off the dance floor toward the back hallway where the bathrooms were.

I let out a small breath when I realized most of the people that would have noticed us were too engrossed in their own conversations or celebrations. But that didn't mean we had gotten off scot-free. Just as I was about to slip into the hallway, I caught my sister's eye from where she stood at the bar with Maggie and Derek. The twinkle in it told me I was going to be hearing about this later.

The women's bathroom was completely empty when I walked inside, and I let out a sigh as I stood in front of one of the mirrors. I took in the natural red in my cheeks that made my eyes look even more clear blue and the flush that had also spread across my chest. My hair had gotten a little frizzy from all the dancing I had done. I should have recognized the girl in the mirror, but the girl I knew wouldn't have done something as unprofessional as what had just happened on the dance floor between me and Nolan.

A knock on the door interrupted my mental breakdown. I assumed it was Olivia coming to corner me and I threw the door open, prepared to defend myself, only to have the words die on my lips.

Nolan pushed the door open wider and slipped around me. His movements were quick and sure as he turned the lock on the door. I suddenly felt like I was the prey that had been cornered by a predator.

In a flash his hands were back around my hips and before I could blink, I was sitting on the lip of the sink, and he was standing between my legs. He braced his hands on either side of the sink as he leaned in until our lips were nearly touching.

"I thought we were supposed to be just friends," I heard myself tell him.

Nolan rested his forehead on my shoulder. "I don't want to be friends, Lottie."

I tried to ignore the way my heart dropped at his words.

"I tried keeping my distance from you and we both know that didn't work," Nolan continued. "I tried going back to the way things were, but that's not working either. You are all I can think about. At practice, I'm keenly aware of where you are all the time. I go home after practice to my empty goddamn penthouse and wonder if you're out on another date with some idiot that you could run circles around. I can't take it, Lottie. I can't just be your friend."

The air felt like it had been sucked right out of my lungs as Nolan finally confirmed my suspicions that he was just as interested in me as I was in him.

Before I could say anything, Nolan pulled his head off my shoulder and looked at me with such torture in his eyes.

"You can tell me to stop," he continued. "You can tell me to stop, and I'll figure my shit out. We'll go back to normal if that's what you want."

I realized that he was holding himself back from me. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the sink next to me to try and stop himself from touching me. The two of us were well aware of what it meant if he did—a line of professionalism forever crossed. We'd be passing the point of no return.

But is that what you really want?

You're chasing after living after devoting yourself to working all your life. Does he not make you feel alive?

My eyes flickered toward the door, wondering if I should walk out of it and never look back. I knew Nolan would keep his word. We'd go back to being partners in his therapy plan. My job would be safe. But the hesitation I had was from a question echoing inside my brain. One that I knew would remain even if I walked away right now.

What if?

I was tired of vicariously living through everyone else I encountered. It was time I stopped watching through the windows of everyone else's lives and became the driver of my own. Because even if Nolan could walk away from this and let everything go back to normal, I wasn't sure I could.

"I'm not sure I want to be friends either."

Relief washed over Nolan's face before he wasted no time in closing the distance between us.