Epilogue
EPILOGUE
" H oney, I'm home," I called out as I opened the front door. Stefan had planned on staying the night, and since he was likely to be done with work sooner than me, he said he'd meet me at my house.
"Welcome home, darling," a voice that was very much not my boyfriend's called back.
I walked to the kitchen and smirked. "What are you doing here?" I asked my brother.
"He says he's here for something fun," Stefan said from where he was mixing something up. Whatever it was, I could smell a faint whiff of strawberry in the air, so I already approved. "Really, though, I think he's just here to burn my latest experiment."
I chuckled and crossed the room, planting a kiss on Stefan's temple so I wouldn't distract him too much. He smiled and bumped me with an elbow.
"Ugh, you're both going to give me cavities," Gabe groaned as if he wasn't constantly subjecting us to the mooning he and Stan did over each other.
"Uh-huh," I said, not the least bit concerned about the state of my brother's teeth. "What are you really here for, Gabe?"
"What, I can't just want to spend time with my favorite brother?"
I shook my head and chuckled. "I'm your only brother," I countered for the millionth time. "You decided the other two don't exist, remember?"
"Party pooper." He was grinning, so clearly, his feelings were nowhere near hurt. "I came to propose a date."
"What, like a double date?" I asked, bending over to lick the spoon Stefan offered me. The bright pink fluff he'd been working on tasted like a strawberry cream cheese frosting of some sort. "Oh, that's good," I told him. "What are you putting it on?"
Stefan smirked and looked me up and down. "You, maybe?"
"La la la, I can't hear you," Gabe said loudly, clapping his hands over his ears.
Tempest barked a laugh at Gabe's feet.
"He's right," I told Gabe. "You're ridiculous." I still couldn't hear the hellhound since I hadn't opted for being a demon, but that didn't mean I couldn't usually understand him.
"It's a skill," my brother said. "And no, I mean like a triple date. Abby's probably at her apartment digging through her closet and panicking as we speak."
This had me raising my eyebrows. Abby had danced around asking Lucy for a date for months and had seemed no closer to getting up the nerve the last time I saw her. Maybe she'd asked someone else. "With Lucy?"
Gabe gave me a Cheshire grin. "With Lucy."
"How on earth did that happen?"
"Well, it didn't happen on Earth, first of all," Stefan teased. "It happened in Hell."
I snorted. "Bite me, blondie."
Stefan bobbed his eyebrows. "Later."
"Will you please stop reminding me that my little brother has a sex life?" Gabe grumped. "God, I miss the days when he was a hundred-year-old virgin."
Stefan and I looked at each other and then started to laugh. "Oh, Gabe," Stefan said. "Oh, you sweet summer child."
"Do you really think we weren't fooling around in our dreams?" I added, still laughing. "Hate to tell you, big brother, but my laundry day was always the day after a visit because I knew I'd wake up a mess."
If Gabe wasn't already so blue, I was positive I'd be able to see him turning green. "I didn't hear that," he announced. "My brother is still a sweet, innocent kid."
"Oh, he is," Stefan agreed. "He's just also an absolute delight in bed."
My face immediately went up in figurative flames. Some things never changed.
"We are changing the subject back to one I actually want to hear about," Gabe said. "To answer your earlier question, Lucy asked Abby out. Sort of. Abby and I were in the food court getting lunch when I told her I'd planned a double date. Lucy overhead and said something along the lines of 'May as well make it a triple,' looked at Abby, and said, 'You don't mind going with me, do you?'"
I dropped my face into my palms. "How much gibberish did she get out before she gave an actual answer?" Poor Abby. If she'd ended up speaking in tongues at Lucy, she was probably still mortified. She'd been so hung up on our sister-in-law since meeting her at the homecoming that she was probably going to kick herself for centuries for not visiting Hell before my demise so they could have met sooner.
"I answered for her, "Gabe assured me. "She's fine. I told Lucy I thought that was a great idea, looked at Abby, and Abby just nodded in response."
"Well, thank goodness for small mercies," I sighed. "Otherwise, I'd hear about it all week. At any rate, I'm game if everyone else is."
"It'll be fun. It's been a while since we've all had time to do something as a group," Stefan agreed, letting me lick the spoon again as he spoke. "But what are we doing?"
"You'll see," Gabe said, giving us another wide grin. "I'll come get you guys in a couple of hours. Lucy said she'd go pick up Abby."
"Hopefully Abby doesn't combust on the way to our destination," I said drily.
"One can hope," Gabe said as he headed for the living room and, assumedly, the front door. "Save me at least one of those cupcakes, will you, Stef?"
I smiled at Stefan, this time giving him a proper kiss. "Hi," I said when we came up for air.
"Hi," he said in return, his smile full of warmth.
"So what's this about cupcakes?"
Stefan gave me a toothy grin and pointed at the fridge. "As tempting as the thought of spending the evening licking frosting off of you is, I actually made Champagne cupcakes for this to go on. Want to help?"
A spoiler for you, despite the fact that I don't usually kiss and tell: Not all the frosting made it onto the cupcakes. As you can imagine, this meant both Stefan and I were in very good moods when Gabe and Stan showed up at the house. Gabe took one look at us and muttered, "Jesus H. Christ," before turning right back around and out the door.
"No, I saw him at work earlier," I called to my retreating brother. "He says hi, by the way." I looked at Stan. "It's not that obvious, is it?"
My brother-in-law patted me on the head. "You both may as well be wearing flashing neon signs that say, 'We just got laid.' Gabe will get over it."
Stefan stared at him briefly, eyes narrowed, before pulling out his phone to look at something.
"What are you doing?" Stan asked, confused.
"Looking to see if there's such a thing as a wearable neon sign," my boyfriend responded.
Stan cackled and steered us both to Gabe's golf cart. He was still using the lime green model he'd had when I first met him, and something about that made me snicker.
"What?" Gabe asked suspiciously.
"I was just thinking it's appropriate that even the vehicles in Hell don't die," I said with a grin as we carefully got into the back seat, careful not to step on Tempest. I was grateful for the fact that so far, he'd ignored Stefan tonight instead of threatening him. "Or have you replaced your original cart with an exact replica?"
This made Gabe laugh, and I was glad to see his mood lighten. Yeah, it was fun to tease him, but I didn't want to torture him. Or us, considering we had to spend the evening in his company. "This is, in fact, the same one," he said as he pulled out of the driveway. "I hadn't considered it like that, but you're right. Immortality is everywhere here."
After a few minutes of driving, the view shifted, and... "What is this?" I asked. The air was thick with a yellow powder that would have probably choked me if I weren't dead.
"Pollen," Stan told me. "Think about what this would do if you had allergies all your life."
I shuddered. "Yeah, okay, this makes sense. But will we still be wearing it when we come out the other side?"
"Thankfully, no," Gabe said. "Wouldn't that be a pain in the ass, though? Bad enough to work in this section; could you imagine having to take it home with you?"
"No thanks," I said. "I'm glad enough I don't molt and leave feathers everywhere."
"Oh, but imagine the comfy pillows we could make with them," Stefan teased, earning himself a playful shove. "Your wings are nice and warm on cold nights, too."
"I'm not a blanket," I protested.
"So where are we going, anyway?" my boyfriend asked, completely ignoring my proclamation of non-blankethood. "It's not the Vampire District. That's the other way from here."
"You can tell?" I asked. "How? The scenes are always shifting and moving."
"There's a pattern to them," Stefan told me with a grin. "You'll get the hang of it in a century or so."
"It only took me five decades," Gabe said, sounding smug.
"Yeah, because you were afraid you'd end up in the open sewer scene again," Stefan pointed out.
My brother shuddered but didn't comment, probably wanting to remove the memory from his skull. I couldn't say as I blamed him.
"At any rate, it just takes memorization of patterns," my boyfriend continued. "Are we headed for the Ghost District?"
"Wait," I said, feeling very confused by that statement. "Aren't ghosts just the spirits of the dead? So, potentially anyone down here who was previously alive?"
"Oh," Stan said, sounding surprised. "I didn't realize you didn't know. No, ghosts are a species of creature, like vampires. If they're in the living world, they're on assignment."
"So when people see their dead relatives...?"
"Spirits," Stan answered. "Totally different from ghosts. Ghosts are invisible in the living world, and we use them to gain intel on the living world. You know, what's considered scary or a punishment at the time, that sort of thing. Because yeah, we can watch the news, but sometimes they see things someone not a denizen of Hell would miss."
I supposed that made sense in a weird sort of way. The living don't really pay attention to the same kind of things that the dead—or those who've been close to the dead, really—would take note of.
"So, we're heading for the Ghost District why?" Stefan prodded.
"It's a surprise," Gabe said, sounding smug. He was lucky he was cute.
Our questions were answered when we arrived in what appeared to be a seaside community, and I had a sudden flashback of the sandworm incident. We weren't likely going to the beach, not after that. This theory was proven correct when we turned away from the probably monster-infested coastline and drove deeper into the city. Eventually, we reached a massive parking lot for what I supposed might have been fairgrounds or something. Except where a fair would have been set up, there was... "Are you kidding me?"
Gabe laughed as I gawked at the all-too-familiar red and white archway with the words "Welcome, Traveler" on it. "Right?" he laughed. "You should have seen how I reacted when they showed up right outside the office building after I arrived. Swear to god, it's like they know when someone they've affected ends up down here, and they come to see how the recently deceased is doing or something. I figured you might want to say hi to Madame Persephone at least."
"And get some caramel corn," I said with a snort.
"You're not wrong," my brother agreed. "I mean, it is right next to her tent."
"He's nothing if not predictable," Stan added with a fond smile. "I told Lucy to meet us at the archway."
I narrowed my eyes to get a good look at the crowd, but we were too far to tell if anyone there was the demon in question, which was kind of funny when I thought about it, given her bright orange-red skin. When every demon is of a skin tone not usually found on humanoids in nature, it's difficult to spot someone because everything becomes a metaphorical sea of bright colors. "Do you see them?" I asked.
"We're probably a little early," Gabe admitted.
"He's excited," Stan added with a grin. "Not that I blame him. We have a lot of friends here."
As we arrived at the arch, I recognized someone who almost seemed to be waiting for us. "You're?—"
"—still wearing Shakespeare cosplay, I see," Gabe interrupted, saying precisely what I had not been planning on saying. "Don't you get tired of it after a century or two?"
As I put a palm to my face and shook my head, the man I recalled was the owner laughed, apparently not bothered in the least at my brother's attitude. "It suits me," he told Gabe. "And at least I don't get mistaken for a huge Smurf."
"He's got you there," I pointed out.
"You hush," Gabe growled back at me. "So what are you doing here?" he asked the man. Aaron? No....Errante, that was it.
"I figured I'd say hello," Errante answered with a shrug. "I knew you'd be by, and it's been a while. A stop in Hell isn't the same if I don't witness your loving sarcasm firsthand."
"Well, we all have to be good at something," Gabe said with a smirk. "I just happen to be good at being an asshole."
I looked heavenward and sighed heavily. "I hate to tell you, but no one believes that," I told him. "We all know you're just as fluffy inside as Beelzebub."
"Don't tell anyone," Gabe whispered dramatically. "I can't ruin my reputation."
I snorted and shook my head. "You're so weird."
"How have you been?" Errante asked me. "I would have asked sooner, but your brother happened."
Gabe muttered something that was probably very rude under his breath. Errante and I both pretended not to hear him. "I'm okay," I answered. "It's been, what, a month since I died? I used to think it was a little weird that I kept forgetting Gabe was dead when I talked to him, but I get it now. There's not much of a difference aside from, you know..." I waved a wing. "I've even gotten to see my old mentor and some of the kids I worked with that passed before me, and I've been promised I'll be the one to greet any of them that come along from this point on, which is nice. Otherwise, I'm greeting the kids that weren't so lucky." I sighed heavily and shook my head. "At least there'll be someone here that cares about them."
Gabe looked at Stefan. "You're going to end up with so many adopted children."
"Probably," Stefan allowed. "I'm okay with that."
"I'm glad things worked out for you, "Errante told me. "And I've heard great things about the work you did while you were alive. But I've held you up longer than I should have." He waved at someone behind us. "It looks like the rest of your party has arrived."
We all turned to see Lucy and Abby heading toward us. Lucy looked smug, and Abby... Well, she kind of looked like a boiled lobster. She was still human, as she hadn't decided if she was ready to be a demon yet, but I'd never seen her so red in my life. I wasn't going to ask why because I had a feeling this was one of those 'may as well have been wearing a neon sign' moments Stan had mentioned earlier.
"Could you maybe have left that for after the date?" Gabe asked. "We have plans, you know."
"Oh, come on," Lucy said with a roll of her eyes. "I just kissed her. On the cheek. No tongues involved or anything."
I looked at Abby in surprise. My sister had gone that red over a kiss on the cheek? Huh. Maybe she'd finally stop giving me a hard time when Stefan made me blush. Or maybe not, knowing her.
We headed for the caramel corn first because of course we did. As we approached, a familiar figure was waiting at the cart. "Five more minutes," Madame Persephone told us. "How do you always show up when they've run out, Gabe?"
"It's a skill," my brother answered. "A stupid one. How've you been?"
"Okay," she said, though she had a worried look in her eyes as she turned her gaze to Stan. "I need to talk to you," she said, giving her tent a pointed look. "Though it can wait the five minutes. The smell's been making me hungry all day." She looked me over and smiled. "Has it already been that long?"
I nodded. "I thought it would feel like forever, but by the end, it seemed like it all happened in the blink of an eye."
"Time is mischievous like that," Madame Persephone agreed. "Now that you're on the other side, do you have any regrets? Would you have made the same choice?"
"I have a few regrets," I admitted. "None of which have to do with my decision and more with kids I failed to help in time." I looked at Stefan and squeezed his hand. "I'd make the same choice again. I needed the time to heal and make peace with my past. I won't lie; having an extremely long-distance relationship with Stefan was difficult at times, and there were moments when I asked myself if I should have just stayed in Hell. In the end, though, I know I made the right choice."
"Good," the fortune teller told me with a smile. "That's what I was hoping to hear."
Once we'd all loaded up on caramel corn, she looked over our group again. "I think you should all hear this," she said, gesturing toward her tent. We followed and crowded into the dimly lit space, Stan and Gabe taking a seat across from her at her table.
"So, what's this about?" Stan asked.
Without looking at the deck, Madame Persephone picked up her tarot cards and pulled a single card out, turning it for all of us to see. On the card was a man carrying away an armful of swords, leaving two behind as he snuck away, looking to make sure no one was following him.
Gabe sucked in a breath in shock, and Stan frowned. Lucy swore under her breath.
Madame Persephone looked at Abby, Stefan, and me. "Betrayal," she explained before turning her attention back to Stan. "Keep an eye on the old gods."
Stan's frown deepened. "All of them?"
Madame Persephone shook her head. "No. I have my suspicions about who it is, but no proof. The ghosts will give you a more detailed report, I'm sure. After all, they don't tell us everything."
"I'll schedule a meeting with them," Gabe promised. "Have they already left?"
The fortune teller nodded. "They told me new ghosts were being assigned. They'd been with us for quite a while, after all."
"That'll make things easier," my brother told her. "Thank you."
"Be careful," Madame Persephone urged. "I didn't sense immediate danger, per se, but that's no reason to be careless."
"Yeah, I'd rather not be held hostage and tortured again," Gabe said drily.
"We'll be careful," Stan promised.
"Good." She smiled, and the tension in the room immediately lightened. "We'll be here for a week," she told us. "Be sure to visit more than once."
It was a dismissal, so we said our goodbyes and left. The group was silent for a moment before Abby spoke up. "Well, I don't know about you all, but I'm going to ride the Gravitron about twenty times in a row."
I frowned at her. "Last time we were at the carnival, you heaved up your guts after three rides. And you only barely missed my shoes, too."
"I should have aimed better," she said with a grin. "I'm dead, doofus. It won't affect me anymore." She looked at Lucy and cocked her head. Her cheeks went crimson again, but she smiled. "Want to join me?"
"Fuck yes," Lucy said immediately, grinning widely. They linked arms and strode away.
"Have fun on the Barfitron," I yelled after them and heard Abby laugh.
"She's insane," Gabe said.
"Oh, absolutely," I agreed. "You could not pay me enough to get me on that thing."
"I always knew you were the smart sibling."
We ended up at the Ferris wheel, with Stan and Gabe taking one gondola and Stefan and I taking the one behind them. It was starting to turn to Hell's equivalent of night, and we could see the lights of the carnival and the Ghost District below us. "It's beautiful," I murmured.
"Yeah, you are," Stefan said.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere. That doesn't mean I don't like it, though, so please don't stop."
He laughed and leaned against my side, wrapping an arm around me and letting out a content sigh. "I'm so glad you're here," he said. "I love you."
I kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Stefan."
It had been a long, weird journey from abused kid to literal angel. A lot of it had hurt, but more of it had been about finding hope and learning what real family was. And there I was, so many decades later, surrounded by my loved ones. As Stefan and I stared at the scenery together, I felt only warmth.
I was finally home.