Chapter 30

30

E ighty-Four Years Later

I lay in the hospital bed I hadn't left in over a week and stared at the ceiling. I'd been disappointed to learn that being unable to get sick didn't mean I wasn't subject to the ravages of time. My body would still start to fall apart, even if I knew it wouldn't let me go until the appointed time.

I knew what was coming, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it to hurry up or if I wanted to hold off a little longer. I supposed I'd always feel like I'd left things undone. I'd felt that way since retirement, knowing I could have helped just one more person if I'd stayed a little longer—unfortunately, time marches on, and I wasn't given a say in the matter.

Gabe had shown up on my one hundred and second birthday two weeks prior—in person, no less, which had been a shock—wearing his human guise and proclaiming to be a second cousin twice removed who had only found out about me through an ancestry project he'd been working on. The nurses bought his story, happy to leave us alone to talk. Once they'd shut the door and walked away, my brother pulled out a familiar deck of cards, quickly shuffled through them, and held a single card in the air. "The Hermit," he said.

The walls of the room glowed for a moment, then everything went back to normal. "There, no one will be able to hear us, and we'll be left alone for a while," he told me before looking me over. "Jesus giggling Christ, you're old, kid."

I chuckled. "No, really? I hadn't noticed." I shook my head and grinned at him. "Honestly, in a way, you're kind of lucky you got to skip the part where your body starts to fall apart and betray you. Getting old definitely isn't my idea of a good time." I sighed, taking in his appearance. He hadn't changed a bit since the day I left Hell, and I was glad for that. It was a comfort. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. "Isn't it against the rules?"

"Calvinball," my brother reminded me. "The rules have shifted slightly, so I was allowed to come see you. Also, I may have threatened to end the entirety of Earth if they didn't let me."

"Again?" I said with no small amount of exasperation. "You really need to stop threatening them."

Gabe grinned widely. "No." He dug into the backpack he'd brought with him. "Where is it? I know I put it in here..."

"How is everyone?" I asked wistfully as he searched for whatever it was.

Gabe glanced up at me and smirked. "You mean Stefan?"

"No," I said, irritated. "Well, yes. But not just him."

My brother's expression softened into a deep fondness that warmed my heart. "We all miss you," he told me. "Honestly, I kind of want to cry just from finally being in the same room with you. You know, without you being asleep." He looked back into his backpack and cried victorious before holding a container aloft. "Here it is, no worse for the wear."

He stood from the chair he'd helped himself to at my bedside, set the container on the table crossing the bed, and pulled off the lid. Inside was a large square of vaguely green cake, smelling familiarly of pistachio pudding. A heart was piped over the usual frosting, along with the letters 'HBD'.

"He couldn't fit 'happy birthday' on it, so I'm supposed to tell you that's what the letters stand for." He glanced at me and chuckled before bending over to hug me. "Stop crying, old man. Stefan wanted me to bring this to you to make you smile, not cry."

"I can do both," I pointed out with a wet-sounding laugh. "Also, you realize I'm not supposed to eat this, right?"

"Oh please," Gabe said with a snort as he pulled a sealed plastic bag containing a fork out of his backpack. "We both know you're going to die at the end of summer, and nothing can stop that. If the cake kills you today, we get you back sooner. Either way, you get to eat Stefan's cake."

He had a point, and I took the fork he offered me.

By the time I'd finished the cake, my energy was already flagging. I slept a lot on the best of days and had some unexpected but much-appreciated excitement that morning. Gabe sealed the container and tucked it into his backpack. "Get some sleep, old man," he said, his voice soft and full of love, and I felt his hand brush my thin, wispy hair back. "See you soon, little brother."

My dreams were a little disjointed, flashing through my lifetime and reliving memories. I realized I didn't have control over them, so I just let them play, assuming that I was meant to watch them. Maybe it was Yahweh saying, 'Happy birthday and good job waiting for so long.'

I watched as I received my doctorate, just as I'd promised to do in Gabe's honor since he'd been so close to getting his when he'd died. I had become Dr. Zeke Rossi, having legally changed my first name from the dreaded 'Ezekiel' and my last name to the name that belonged to my grandmother and brother. My grandfather had been a little put out that I didn't use Zebub, the name he used as a human, until I pointed out that 'Zeke Zebub' sounded like a name a late-night radio DJ might use.

The dream shifted, and I flashed through decades of helping kids who had been in situations like mine, stuck with abusive guardians and feeling like there was no way out. Not everything had been a victory, but I'd done my best for those kids, and I hoped that whatever job Yahweh had in mind for me would be an extension of that.

Suddenly I was watching my years post-retirement, when I'd started traveling and seeing the world. The first place I'd gone overseas had been Turkey, to the site of the Stupidest War Ever. Aside from Abby and me, nobody alive at the time knew about it, but I'd been able to picture everything my brother had said about it. I told Gabe about my visit afterward, during one of his trips to bring others to my dreams. He'd laughed and told me I was an idiot. I agreed but said it was also kind of fun, like an inside joke we had that no one else in the world could understand. That had brought him to tears, and I'd laughed and told him I had no idea demons were such marshmallows inside. Which was a lie, because I'd always known and appreciated that Gabe was a softie.

I visited all the old churches I could in my travels but never attended another service. The architecture of the old structures was a sight to behold, and I felt a peace and a sense of being closer to the people I'd left behind in the afterlife when I toured them, but the thought of services made me uncomfortable. I was always worried I'd picture the faces Jesus made whenever someone mentioned worshiping him and have it make me laugh at inappropriate times. That was okay, though. Yahweh knew what was in my heart because we'd discussed it. He'd offered me a place as an angel if I wanted it. I figured I probably didn't need saving.

Intermingled with all this were occasional flashes of visits in my dreams from Stefan. Grandma had been right about it being enough when you knew it wasn't forever. We spent most of those dreams sitting in the conservatory, still one of my favorite spots, where he could enjoy the sun without triggering panic. We'd talk about what was going on in my life and what was going on in the afterlife. Once, he'd been allowed an extra visit during one of Gabe's regular visits. That was when they'd broken the news that Hell had received David and John, the two brothers who had also been living at home when our parents met their end. They'd been in a car crash together.

"I was the one to escort them to their retribution sites," he'd told me. "Honestly, I don't know them well enough to care, though they were horrified to find out I was their older brother, so that was kind of fun to rub in their faces. All I know is they treated you like garbage, and at least one of them should have been in jail for the rest of his life after helping your father assault children. Too bad your paternal grandparents got him such a good lawyer. If you want to see them after you get down there and want me to go with you, I will, but..."

Ultimately, it wasn't something that had to be decided quickly, and I put thoughts of the two out of my mind. Neither Abby nor I were invited to the funeral, but we wouldn't have attended even if we had been. Much like our parents, they no longer had any power over us. Which isn't to say we didn't spend decades in therapy thanks to our childhood, mind you. The scars were deep.

Abby passed at the ripe old age of ninety-one, leaving me feeling truly alone in the living world. She'd never found a long-term relationship that lasted more than a few years, but she'd been okay with that. "After all," she once said, "I apparently have quite the afterlife to look forward to. Who knows, maybe Joan of Arc is my soulmate and has been waiting for me all this time or something. Besides, I have to keep you out of trouble."

I didn't know if she'd ever gone to see either of our parents or the siblings who had passed before us, and neither Gabe nor Stefan ever told me one way or the other. I figured it was none of my business unless Abby told me herself when it was her turn for a monthly visit. Gabe and Stefan regularly visited her after her ascendance into Heaven, and they assured me she'd settled in well. She'd apparently requested a temporary apartment up there, letting it be known she didn't want to see Hell until I was there to show her around.

"You've had a good life," a voice I didn't know said. I looked around, able to do that much at least, but I could see no one else. It wasn't Yahweh's voice, so I wasn't sure who'd been watching this trip down memory lane with me.

"I have," I agreed, "but I'm ready for the next adventure."

"I'm sorry we had to do this to you," another voice said. "We had no choice. Things have to stay in balance."

Oh, this was the old gods. I didn't know how many of them were watching, if it was just the two I'd heard or if there were more, but they'd come personally. I was surprised when I felt no chill at the thought, just a passing feeling of wondering if I'd ever get to meet them properly. "I know," I assured them. "Yahweh explained."

"All is as it should be now," the first voice said. "They anticipate your return. You are very loved, child."

I laughed a little at being called a child, but comparatively, I was sure I seemed like an infant to them. "I am," I agreed. "And I can't tell you how grateful I am for it."

The final months of my life passed quickly, mostly because I rapidly reached a point where I was asleep more than I was awake. I could feel parts of my body beginning to shut down as if lights in unused rooms had been switched off, and if I hadn't known what was coming, I think it would have frightened me a whole lot more. Instead, I was just waiting for the time to pass.

Then, one day, I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night. I glanced at the clock next to my bed. Midnight.

"Hey."

I startled and squinted into the other corner of the room, where there definitely hadn't been anyone before. But now, my brother was stepping out of the shadows with an awkward, gangly youth in tow. The kid had long hair, way too much eyeliner, and the hood of his black hoodie pulled up.

"Gabe," I said, my voice wavering. It was part age and part emotion that made it unsteady. I could guess why they were there. I'd stopped paying attention to the days, so hadn't known my time was officially up. "Death is a teenage goth?"

"For now," Death told me. "Until I get tired of it. I've been around since the beginning of life itself, so I figure I'm entitled to a little amusement regarding my appearance."

I smiled and nodded in agreement. "It's time, then?"

"Yeah," Gabe said, his voice gentle. "It's time, old man. Everyone's waiting for you. Are you ready?"

I sighed, the sound full of relief and longing and contentment. "I've been ready for a long time now. Take me home, big brother."

Gabe moved to stand at my side and took my hand as Death pulled a pair of oddly glowing scissors from his sweatshirt pocket. "What, no scythe?" I joked.

"You try carrying one of those things around and see how much it inconveniences you," Death said with a snort. "Scissors are easier and get the job done." He reached above me and tugged on something, and suddenly, I could see a shining golden thread wrapped around his hand. He lifted his scissors and smiled at me, a warm smile that was at odds with his appearance. "I promise it won't hurt," he said.

"I believe you," I said, feeling Gabe's hand squeeze mine as the scissors snipped my life thread.

The next thing I knew, I was soaring upward. All the pain of age was gone, and I laughed with the joy of it. I looked to my side to see Gabe still holding my hand, his wings spread as he helped carry me up. "This is a very different direction from the one I took," he laughed. "Kind of nice that I get to experience this, too."

"Yeah," I agreed, surprised at how young my voice sounded. I looked down at my hand to see the wrinkles and age spots were gone. "How young am I?" I asked Gabe.

"A little older than when I met you," he said. "Probably your second year of university. Youth looks good on you, kid."

It certainly felt good to me. I'd forgotten what it was like to have joints that would move freely without screaming at me. "But why are we going up?" I asked. "Everyone I want to see is downstairs."

My brother laughed again. "You still have to check in first, obviously. Let them know you arrived safely. Then we'll go meet up with everyone. I promise I won't keep you from Stef for long, but we have to do things right."

I could accept that. I'd learned long ago the corporate nature of the afterlife, so it was important to do things by the book. Otherwise, we'd never hear the end of it.

"Do you regret it?" Gabe asked.

"What, living out my life?" I asked. "No. I wish it hadn't taken so long, but I helped a lot of kids. It was worth it. Hopefully, I can do something like that again."

"So... you've decided to stay in Heaven?"

"Not exactly," I said with a grin. "I'm going to see if I can talk Yahweh into a compromise." I'd been thinking about it for the past several decades, and I'd come up with something that I thought would make everyone happy.

Gabe grinned back. "Compromising with the Sky Daddy, huh? That's not something you would have considered when we first met, so you've come a long way."

"Literally," I said, looking below us to find nothing but clouds.

"Don't worry," he reassured me. "We're almost there."

To my relief, he wasn't wrong. I might have been dead, and I had the utmost confidence that my brother wouldn't drop me, but that didn't keep me from being afraid of heights. A floating island came into view, and we landed on the edge, right in front of a literal set of pearly gates. Gabriel and Yahweh were both there waiting for us.

"What, Peter's too busy for us now?" Gabe asked with a laugh. "Couldn't even be here to welcome my little brother? Is he still mad we cleaned him out at poker last week?"

Gabriel let out a snort. "No, you jackass. I asked to be the one to greet him because, unlike you, your brother is a great kid who I actually like."

Yahweh watched their banter fondly before turning His attention to me. "Welcome home, my child."

"It's good to be home, Father," I said, giving Him a slight bow.

"I'm only sorry you had to wait so long, but things are back in balance with this." He stared at me for a long moment, eyes slightly narrowed in thought, before His smile grew. "You've come to a decision."

"I have," I agreed. "I would be honored to do Your work, but..."

"But?" Yahweh urged.

"Can I commute from Hell?"

Yahweh burst into laughter. "I suppose I should have expected this."

"It's not that I don't like Heaven. The climate is great." I turned to look at Gabe and grinned. "But I find I prefer the company in Hell."

"That won't be a problem," Yahweh assured me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I look forward to working with you."

With that, I felt a soothing warmth surge through my body. There was a light so bright I had to shut my eyes for a moment. When it passed, I blinked. "What was that?"

"Uhh..." Gabe reached out and grabbed hold of something behind me. I felt him adjust what felt like a limb, but I shouldn't have a limb at my back. I turned my head, only to discover he was stretching out a wing. The wing was a shade of blue I instantly recognized.

"We match," my brother said with a laugh.

Indeed, the feathers were the exact shade of blue as my brother's demonic skin. "Is my hair black now, too?" I asked, only half-joking.

"No," Gabe answered. "It's blond. Like, nearly Stan levels of white blond. It looks good on you, though."

"I don't look old?" I asked. I'd had enough of being old for several lifetimes.

"You look like my little brother who got hold of a hair bleaching kit," Gabe teased, giving the wing he was still holding a gentle tug before letting go. "I mean, come on, you look like me. How could you not be attractive?"

"And humble," I said drily.

Gabe grinned at me. "Exactly," he agreed with a wink.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Let's have you start next week," Yahweh said, highly amused by the antics before Him. "I believe you have some catching up to do. I'll have you apprentice with Gabriel since you're already familiar with him, so once the two of you have figured out a schedule, just let me know." He patted me on the head, then turned to walk away. He paused after a few steps and looked at me over his shoulder. "And don't forget to invite me to the housewarming."

I looked at him in confusion. "Housewarming...?"

"Go away, you meddling old Sky Daddy," Gabe called, making a shooing motion. "Go threaten to flood the world again or something unless some guy builds a boat."

"Noah was just some fisherman who rescued a lot of animals during a perfectly normal severe flood that was definitely not an act of God," Yahweh huffed. "Keep that up and I won't let you come pet the dinosaurs again."

"Dinosaurs?" I asked, turning to Yahweh. "Seriously, did you never read Jurassic Park?"

"Saw the movies," Yahweh said. "All the dinosaurs up here are herbivores."

"We got the carnivores," Gabe admitted. "And trust me, they're much less fun to deal with. Cranky bastards."

"And on that note," Yahweh said with a chuckle before turning to leave again. "Have fun, my children."

"See you later, Sexy Sky Daddy!" Gabe called after him.

Yahweh made a gesture, and I squinted in disbelief at what I saw. "Did God just give you the finger?"

"Yep," Gabe said before yelling after Him again. "I'm not that kind of demon, Daddy!"

I covered my face with my palms. "Oh, Gabe..."

"He's gotten sassier every year he's spent in the afterlife," Gabriel said with a sigh. "But for some reason, Yahweh likes it."

"Because I don't worship him," Gabe said immediately. "I just treat him like the uncle I never had growing up, that's all. It makes him feel..." He made a thoughtful face. "Well, not 'more human,' per se, but maybe less divine. I think he likes that. It's much less pressure than being treated like he should always have the answers to any problem."

"That's fair," I said with a nod. "Can we go home now?"

"Come on," Gabriel said. "I'll give you guys a ride."

The moment we arrived at Stan and Gabe's house, I was pounced on by my brother-in-law and a hellhound. I was kind of relieved I'd already died because I was pretty sure Stan's hug would have managed to squeeze the life out of me otherwise. Instead, I squeezed back just as hard, glad to see him in person after far too long. When we finally let go of each other, Stan was wiping tears from his face.

"You're such a sap," Gabe said, his teasing voice full of love.

"Oh please, you cried for a week straight after you were given the scheduled date for Zeke's death," Stan shot back, making Tempest huff a laugh.

"I did not," Gabe said. He paused, then gruffly admitted, "It was three days, not a week."

"And then he threatened Yahweh into letting him go warn you in person," Stan said with a laugh and a sniffle as he finished wiping his face dry.

"Quit threatening God!" I yelled at Gabe.

"If it were actually a problem, he wouldn't have let me go," Gabe pointed out.

I sighed, then looked around. "So, where is everyone?" I asked. I meant Stefan, really, but it seemed polite to include everyone.

"Let's take a walk before you meet up with your boyfriend again," Stan suggested, giving me a knowing look. I could feel my face heat up because apparently, being older than God—metaphorically speaking, obviously—hadn't cured me of that. Still, he kindly ignored it and turned his attention to Gabriel. "We'll see you later?"

Gabriel grinned. "I'll be there," he said before giving me a quick hug and a promise to figure things out with work later. Then he was gone, and I was being pulled through the garden.

"This is new," I noted as I looked around. We were in the formal garden portion of the landscaping, but in a section I hadn't seen before, lined with large, colorful sculptures. Each piece was abstract but gave distinct emotions.

"You like them?" Gabe asked me.

"Yeah," I said, slowing my walk to take in each one. "They're beautiful."

"They're Stef's," Stan told me. "He took up sculpture after you left because baking made him kind of sad for a while, and he's been working on them almost the entire time you've been apart. Gabe thought you might like to see them as Stef intended, in a garden."

I sucked in a surprised breath. I'd had no idea Stefan had this kind of artistic skill, and the thought that he'd created them all for me made me want to cry, along with the knowledge that my departure had taken the joy out of one of his favorite things, however temporarily. I looked around again. Just how many were there? In this one section alone, I could see at least twenty.

"There are more," Stan told me. "He even made one that's down in the cavern, where the sun streams onto it through the portal. He said he wanted on there because being right under the opening made him feel like you were near."

I sniffled, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down my face. "I want to see him," I said.

"We're almost there," Gabe reassured me as he squeezed my shoulder. "Come on."

I followed behind them as we entered another section of the garden, this one also full of sculptures. The pathway in this section wasn't the straight path I'd see in other areas, but split in three, curving around various sculptures before reuniting at the end. At the other end was the garden wall, with a heavy wooden door.

"I was tempted to cover it in ivy, but I thought that might be a little too Secret Garden. If you want me to, though, that's easy," Gabe said with a grin.

It was tempting, and I'd have to think about it. Instead, I simply asked, "What's behind the door?"

"Everything you could have hoped for," Stan said. "Open it."

I reached out, pushed the door, and found myself staring at an old Victorian house, complete with an enormous conservatory jutting out the back. I knew the house well. I'd spent a lifetime in it. "How?" I asked, unsure if the lump in my throat would let me say more.

"Yahweh brought it here when you were admitted to the hospital, and we knew you weren't leaving there alive," Gabe admitted. "He'd apparently already guessed that you'd ask to stay down here. Hope you don't mind it being near Stan's, but we thought you'd like to be within walking distance from family. There's a different house standing where yours was in the living world now, and anyone who's ever known of your house's existence believes it was always the house that replaced it." He looked at me and gave me a sad sort of smile. "He felt horrible, making you live so long. This is kind of an apology. I changed the landscaping around it because I was bored, but if there's anything you want different, just say the word."

"You're going to overwhelm him again," Stan sighed at him before turning his attention to me. "Let's go inside," he suggested. "Make sure everything's the way you want it, that sort of thing."

I nodded, unable to string coherent words together, and headed for the front door without waiting to see if they'd follow me. Part of me couldn't believe it was real, even when I took hold of the doorknob and threw open the door.

Or even when over a dozen people in the living room of the house I loved so much yelled, "Surprise!" and threw confetti at me. I noted that Gabriel was there, so clearly, the walk had been to give him time to get there before us, but then my eyes landed on a short blond bloodsucker, and I burst into tears. He was crying just as hard when we crashed into each other, and I only barely heard everyone cheering as Stefan whispered in my ear. "Welcome home, Zeke."

The party was loud, chaotic, joyous, and kind of soggy, given how many of us kept bursting into tears. Happy tears, obviously, but it was still a lot of crying. The celebration lasted through the night, and the landscape was starting to lighten into Hell's version of dawn by the time the last of the guests—Gabriel, Tempest, and Stan—finally left, telling us to call them when we'd caught up on our sleep so we could get together for dinner. Abby had departed for Gabe's apartment next door to Stefan's, having decided she'd rather not make the trip back up to Heaven since it was so late. Lucy had offered to drive her, and my sister had agreed with metaphorical hearts in her eyes.

That pairing would either save the world or destroy it if it panned out, but I was glad to see Abby enjoying herself. She'd thought I was insane when I pointed out that her rooms in the house were still as she'd left them, and she told me she'd seriously consider moving back into the house we'd shared for decades. I had a feeling that even if it wasn't at the house, she'd find a new residence in Hell as soon as she could.

When silence finally descended, Stefan and I were left staring at each other.

"It's a little different than the dreams, somehow," he noted. "Or is that just my imagination?"

I shook my head. "No, this has more...substance to it, I guess. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to be able to communicate with you however I could, but..."

He smiled and gave me a nod of understanding. "I get it."

I yawned, nearly popping my jaw out of place with the force of it. "We should go to bed," I told him. "But first..." I smiled at him as he looked at me questioningly. "A long time ago, before I went back to the living world, I told you I thought I was in love with you."

The smile that grew on his face was so warm I might have been standing in a sunbeam, and the look in his eyes grabbed hold of my heart and wrapped around it. "I remember," he said. "I told you to tell me that again when you returned if you felt the same way, and I'd give you my answer." He took a step closer to me so we were almost touching. "Well? Do you feel the same way?"

"Sort of," I told him with a grin.

" Sort of ?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. I mean, after all these years, I don't just think I'm in love with you."

Stefan let out a snort, but a blush bloomed on his cheeks. "Cheesy."

I reached up and cupped his face, smiling softly at him. "I love you, Stefan. I've loved you for a very long time."

"Well, that's good," he said, his cheeky tone at odd with the tears gathering in his eyes. "Because I love you too."