14. HAZEL Present day

14

HAZEL Present day

"Hazel Madden?"

"That's me."

I rise from my chair in the waiting room and follow the nurse down the hall into the exam room. She takes my height and weight and hands me a cup to pee in. I step into the adjoining bathroom and do as she says, coming back out and handing her the cup.

She takes the cup then hands me a gown and tells me to strip down and hop on the table, advising that Dr. Hale will be in shortly.

I sit on the table, legs swinging, and try to narrow down dates in my mind. Working at Magnolia Point Clinic has been rewarding yet grueling, my schedule so chaotic I lose track of days, even weeks at times. I knew becoming a nurse would be hard work, but I never realized how much it would affect me.

Of course, a lot of it is my own fault. I accepted an internship in a city I never wanted to go to. I left on a whim not preparing myself mentally for the new state, new friends, new job and loss of Wes. Nina was still in Georgia, and I realized how selfish I had been by badgering her to come to Magnolia Point, only for me to turn and run away.

Even though I knew I was being stubborn, I dug my heels in, packed my stuff and left. I stayed in Boston for eighteen months too long and hated every day of it. I spent two brutal winters there before learning I'm not built to live with snow.

I'm also not built to live away from Wes. I pushed him to make a decision, and he did, though if I'm honest with myself, I made the final decision for both of us. I pushed for an answer I knew he wouldn't give, even if he wanted to. He was never going to put an ultimatum on me, he was never going to make me give up something for him. He never wanted to hold me back from what life had to offer me.

But life offered me him.

And I knew I'd never get another chance.

That's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.

I think back to the day I finally returned to Magnolia Point, warmth rushing over me at the memory of him opening the door to me standing there, tears streaming down my face. He didn't hesitate or pretend to not care, he reached out and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me inside. I sobbed uncontrollably, but still he held me, listening to me go on about how much I missed him. Then, once I managed to stop crying long enough for him to pull back he only asked me one thing.

"Are you home? For good?"

Even though I couldn't form any words he took my nod as confirmation enough and we soon fell into a familiar yet new routine.

"Hi Hazel. I'm Dr. Hale. How are you feeling?" The doctor's voice pulls me from my thoughts, so absorbed in that past that I didn't even hear the door open.

I chuckle nervously, "I'm actually feeling okay today. But the last eight weeks have been miserable."

"I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but yes, you are pregnant."

My heart contracts at hearing her say the words and a single tear runs down my cheek. But I smile. "I think I'm very pregnant."

Dr. Hale laughs. "Yes, let's go over your history and give me dates of your last cycle."

We talk for a few minutes before she says, "Let's see if we can get a picture of your baby, shall we?"

I lay back on the table, wishing I had told Wes because he should be here right now.The doctor rolls the machine over, gathering what she needs as my mind once again wanders.

"Hazel, I never wanted you to leave but you were too young not to experience more."

"I want to experience it with you, Wes. Can't you see that?"

"I do. And I'm a lucky fucking guy that you chose me. I just don't know why."

"Our hearts chose each other. We don't have to know why, they just did."

Coolness on my stomach jars me to the present, and I look down to see she squirted gel on my lower abdomen. An abdomen that appears far rounder than I remember from this angle earlier in the year.

She places the wand in the gel, moving around in search of a fetus, and then a soft whoosh, whoosh sound fills the room.

I bite my bottom lip, attempting to hold back the rush of emotion at the sound. Once again I'm angry I second guessed telling him, but even after all these years, I'm afraid he's going to push me away again.

Even though I know I'm the one who left us.

"Strong heartbeat. And by my measurements, it looks like you're already halfway there. Your due date is approximately December first. Looks like a Christmas baby to me!"

I groan, her announcement clearing up some of my wild emotions.

Because of course it's a Christmas baby.