13. Thirteen

I release a deep breath the moment my eyes settle on her.

There's still blood dripping from my knuckles and my adrenaline pumps from the brawl I just left behind, but the moment my gaze lands on her, the demons hush and peace fills my senses. The chill of my water gliding across my busted hands cleans away the evidence of what I did, not even an hour ago.

Fuck, even in her sleep, she calls to me like a lighthouse, guiding my way out the depths of darkness.

Watching my tiny Primary sleep cuddled up between my brothers may calm my rage, but it also causes the ache in my chest to multiply. I've been nonstop fading through the shadows, traveling the realm over the last few weeks, spying on the other shifter packs, prides, colonies, whatever the fuck they want to call themselves, making sure they haven't fallen down the deadly slope of the Mastery.

So far, I haven't seen any signs that the others are involved, but I'm sure those slimy fucks are in every territory, hiding, waiting like the damned roaches they are. Corentin ordered that I keep my distance, stay in the shadows since I have no backup with me, and before my little Primary, I woulda scoffed and told him to fuck off and truly went hunting, but now I know his order is coming from more than just a place of his own worry. If I were to screw up, it'd destroy more than just him and the other two.

I kept my word the entire time until my last stop. Checking the last city on my list, Pippa, a section of Pyrathia, I came across a group of centaur fuckers trying to take advantage of a little Pegasus girl while I was traveling the secluded, darkened streets looking for Mastery scum. She couldn't have been more than eighteen years old and couldn't force her shift with those pieces of shit groping her and tossing her around.

It wasn't until I killed all five of them that she finally shifted and flew off. I didn't get to check and make sure she was all right, but I helped enough. She survived. I just left that little mess for my dad to deal with.

Those types of shifters and creatures don't have an alpha like we see in wolf packs, but they all seem to herd together because of their horse-like similarities, so my dad will just have to deal with their counsel, maybe find the girl, get her side of the story. Regardless, I couldn't give a fuck. They deserved to die for trying to rape her, so that's what happened.

Since I've been out scouting, I've only been here for a handful of breakfasts, no dinners. I have just enough time to randomly pop up, check on her, check in with them, and then leave again, only to return when they're all asleep, and I take to my room, alone.

The time spent away from her has been wreaking havoc on me. My bond and demons fight one another constantly. When I'm near her, close to her, her light blinds them, keeping them at bay, but this time spent apart, it's been a fucking uphill battle daily not to listen to the lies they whisper in my mind.

Every time I feel them sinking into my thoughts about her, I cling to the way her body felt plastered against me as I moved us through the shadows. The way she wanted to tease Draken and wanted me to be a part of it. The look she gave me as I walked through the shadows to leave her and my brothers behind. She doesn't try to hide her feelings for me. She leaves her soul open for me to see always, even the dark and damaged parts that match mine.

When my mind gets too loud, I picture those silver eyes locked onto mine while Draken fucks her into oblivion, making those perfect tits bounce and beg for attention with every thrust. That day is so deeply imprinted in my brain, I grow hard every time I think about it. I don't even know the number of times I've beat my dick to the memory.

Every night when I come back home, I sneak in here and watch her sleep, run my shadows over her body, just to make sure she's okay. I know my brothers know I do this, but they've let it go. They don't push me to come join. And every night I try to tell myself to just crawl into bed, hold her the way they do, embrace her light completely, let it swallow me whole. But I don't.

I'm still fucking scared of how intimate that'll feel, but my sassy, fiery little Primary isn't going to let me continue to get away with it much longer. I see the defiance and determination in her eyes grow increasingly each of the few times I've seen her in the last two and a half weeks.

Stepping back into the shadows at the sound of one of their timekeepers, I move through the walls to the breakfast room. Tillman isn't going to make them all train this morning. There'll be enough of that throughout the day as we finish our preparations to leave tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

The time has flown by. I might've been gone the most over the last few weeks, but Corentin and Tillman have been working nonstop. Even Draken's been put to work getting the E.F. shifters trained up as well, and I can see the effect it's had on her. She won't complain. She knows how important this is, but I've observed the range of emotions she's been dealing with from crying to absolutely raging.

My brothers can fool themselves all they want that it's just the bond pushing her hard, which I know it plays a huge role. Now that she's fully bonded with one of us, the other bonds lying in her chest are going to ride her hard until she feeds them all, but that's not the only reason. I know her better than that.

I can see and recognize the darkness clouding her eyes when she doesn't know I'm watching; it gets thicker and thicker as the days tick on. Those visions of hers have shown her something daunting, and tomorrow isn't going to go as smoothly as we hope.

I've warned them of that, knowing we can't ask her directly, so they've been putting in as much time and effort to gather intel on the pack as they can and have put security and protection in place as much as possible.

I'll transport to the outskirts of the pack lands in a few minutes and get the final reports on the ten finalists from Rhett; well, nine as we don't need reports on Lyker. Then meet them back at the academy and go over them with everyone.

Corentin's the first to come into the breakfast room, and he's tense as shit. His body is pulled taut, his shoulders are raised defensively, and that little eye twitch he has when he's on the verge of snapping is working away. As soon as his sees me, his body drops a fraction in relief.

"I'm glad you came here first before heading to Terravile."

"What's wrong?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at his worried look.

"Willow's in a frenzy this morning. As soon as she woke up, she started asking for you. I thought we wouldn't see you till after you returned with the reports so that's what I told her, and she lost it. Be prepared, brother," he warns, but there's no heat in his words. He's amused, so I can only imagine a very pissed off Primary is about to walk in here.

Standing from my spot, I walk over to where he is, waiting for the others to join us. I can hear them down the hall. Draken's voice travels the farthest with his typical cheery damn tone. I give him a lot of shit for his happy-go-fucking-lucky attitude he always has, but really, it's my second favorite personality of his.

Right behind his murdering one.

"You're here." The strain in her sweet voice reaches my ears and I turn, preparing for the tongue lashing she's about to give me.

Fuck, at least that's what I thought was going to happen.

Instead, her delicate, curvy little body collides with mine. I don't even have to catch her or hold her up. The death grips her arms and legs have around me is holding her up fine.

I freeze for a second, taken aback by her reaction, fighting with myself not to push her off. She never comes to me unless I beckon her or I approach her first. She knows I need that control over how and when I'm touched, so for her to throw herself at me, she's struggling.

"Primary," I say softly, trying to get her to lift her head and look up at me. All that does is make her cry. Her whole body shakes as her tears soak through my shirt and into my skin.

A panic-stricken look crosses my face as I eye my brothers, silently begging for some help, and all they do is smile at me, silently laughing at my plea. I have no idea what to do right now. This isn't a panic attack I can fix by just whisking her into the darkness. This is her bond searching for me, pushing her to be as close to me as possible.

I've seen her do this with the others before, but never me. I've gotten sweet, understanding eyes, sometimes innocent come fuck me looks. Or the opposite, I've been called an asshole and had shit thrown at me, but she's never thrown herself at me in a fit of tears.

"Where have you been? Why don't you ever come see me?" She hiccups, causing my soul to clench painfully.

Little does she know, I come see her every free second I get. If I'm in that much of a hurry, I just transport in the shadows quickly, watch her, then transport back out.

"You know I've been busy traveling the realm, checking on the other territories," I remind her. I don't say it harshly, but by the grunt Tillman just let out, I obviously should've said something other than that.

"You don't even want to be around me." She wails, causing me to flinch and look at the others again.

Their returning gazes scream, you're on your own, you did this to yourself. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I know they're right. If I had just stayed in her room with her nightly, she wouldn't be breaking down like this in my arms right now.

"I want to be around you more than anything. I watch you from the shadows every free second I have. I come in every night and go straight to your room to watch you while you sleep. Every waking moment is spent with you on my mind, and you're the last thing I think about when I close my eyes, sweet Primary," I whisper as I sit her in my lap, cocooning her in my shadows.

I thought confessing that to her would help, but she just sobs harder into my neck. My element soaks up her wet tears as they flow down my inked chest. Reaching in my shirt, she lays her soft hand over my heart, covering the brightly and extremely detailed moon that mars my olive skin. From collarbone to hips, my body's a canvas that represents our Nexus.

A dragon in mid-flight with its wings spread wide. Scales painted and detailed in deep, rich auburn shades reflect the moonlight in flickering shadows. It's my interpretation of Draken's brightness in my darkened soul.

Beneath the dragon is a sprawling forest, much like the one outside that Tillman's worked tirelessly to take care of and fortify. The trees, some tall, some recede into the background, create a layered effect that adds to the details of their impenetrable strength.

Cascading rays cut through the darkness of the night. These rays are meticulously crafted to illuminate and wrap around the scars that litter my chest. Corentin's need to always protect me, pulling me out of the darkness before I completely give in.

And the center focus, the moon.

Its surface is adorned with craters and subtle textures, capturing the essence of a celestial body. It emits a soft light that feeds into the rays, cutting through the dark, and highlights the dragon and forest below. It represents the guiding light that brightens the path, revealing the beauty within the darkness. Every element of the piece seems to stretch toward it, vying for its light.

I never understood my obsession with its placement and perfection. I spent countless hours designing it and have gone back many times over the years adding even more detail until I finally decided it was complete. Now, holding my sobbing Primary in my lap as she falls apart, it's quite clear, my blackened heart knew she'd find me. She's my moon.

Her head pops up at the sound of my timekeeper going off in my pocket. My alarm to leave.

Fuck, this isn't going to go well. I already know. I didn't plan on her reacting like this, this morning, so the brief ten minutes I allotted for have come and gone in a flash.

"What is that? What's that alarm for?" she asks in a panic.

"Look at me, Primary," I order softly. Her bloodshot eyes swing to mine, and I nearly cave right then, but I have to go. I have to meet Rhett, get the files and a quick brief, then I'll be right back. I can't be late. It'll put Rhett in danger if he's spotted just fucking off right on the outside of the pack lands with a file on the possible soon-to-be alpha.

"I've got to get the report on the finalist. Rhett's going to be waiting for me. I won't take long, just a few minutes, and I'll meet you at the academy."

"No, you can't leave me. You've only been here a few minutes. No." She shakes her head, tears continuing to drip down her face.

"I know you're having a hard time right now and I'm not making it better, but I promise I'm going to be right back. I'll be with you at the academy all day." I swear to her as I watch her eyes shatter.

Standing, she immediately clings to me again, wrapping her arms back around my neck and her legs around my waist. I know she isn't going to let me go. I'm going to have to force her to, and that fucking breaks something inside of me. She needs me, and I have to leave her…again.

Once I can get back and spend enough time with her to get her out of this frenzy, she's going to feel humiliated. She always does after each time this has happened with the others. But the bond feeds and pushes on our own emotions, multiplying them, so deep down, she does miss me. She wants me here.

"Corentin," I grunt. My own bond now tries to rip me apart for having to pull away from her.

"Come here, princess," he says softly, wrapping his arms around her stomach, giving me a nod, knowing exactly what I'm going to have to do.

"I'm so sorry, little Primary. I'll be back." I give her a kiss on her cheek, then call my shadows, my body going incorporeal as I slip through her hands.

Her sob follows me through the shadows into the lawn, and I can still hear her cry ringing in my ears as I travel through the transport. Stepping out, I immediately call my shadows back, shrouding me in the darkness and out of anyone's line of sight as I collect myself.

Fuck that. Fuck this.

I'll never leave her like that again.

I'll let this motherfucker flood before I ever leave her when she needs me again.

I spot Rhett leaning against a tree for our rendezvous. Slinking my way to him, taking my time to make sure no one approaches him, I command my shadows to create a dome over us, blocking us from anyone's sight and hearing.

"I was getting worried. The infamous Caspian is never late," he comments lightly, but I don't have time for pleasantries.

"What have you got?" I ask.

"Here are all ten files. I threw one together for Lyker just in case I got caught, it wouldn't look like he was singled out. I still haven't spotted a single mark, so I don't know if they're just all lower-level recruits or something else is going on. But you can see the rift in the pack between normal pack wolves and the wolves that interact more with the non-wolf shifters. And they're cagey around me and my guys, as well as Lyker's and his."

"How many non-wolves will be here tomorrow?"

"As of now, there are seventy here that stay on the lands. I don't think any more will join. You can tell the pack is still run by the ‘outsiders can't come and go' rule. Lyker's the only lone wolf in the final ten," he emphasizes. Wolves are notorious for not letting outsiders in. This pack being the exception to that rule.

"How's he doing?"

Lyker's an oddball out in the shifter community. Wolf shifters only form a Nexus with other wolves. It's always been that way. He was a charge, found wandering the woods around the Terravile pack lines when he was a kid, so he was brought up here. He never formed a Nexus with anyone from this pack when his wolf emerged, so he went to a mid-level academy in the Central and never came back here. When he came to Vito academy, that's where he found his Nexus brothers, none of whom are wolf shifters, hence why he's a lone wolf.

"He's got a shot at this for sure. He's been taking down opponent after opponent. I think the ten finalists are split, a few Mastery members at least, normal pack members, and Lyker."

"Will he have issues with the pack members if he wins?" I question.

"No. I've been throwing support behind him, and he and his guys are getting along well with the half of the pack that isn't fucking off," he says confidently.

"Good. I got to go. Stay safe. We'll see you in the morning," I grunt as I step into my shadows.

I wait a few minutes and watch Rhett walk off, just to make sure he doesn't run into any trouble, and when the rest of his Nexus comes out of their hiding and join him, I transport directly to Corentin's office. It's been thirty minutes, but if she's still upset, they wouldn't have brought her to the command office in the training gym.

Stepping out of the transport, the sight in front of me damn near crushes me.

She's curled up on Corentin's lap, his dress shirt soaked from her weeping. He's shushing her softly, rubbing her back as she tries to choke back the steady stream of tears flowing down her face.

Tossing the files on his desk, I move over to her and lift her from his arms, cradling her to me as I sit on the couch between my brothers. As each of us lay a hand on her, she nestles into me deeper and lets out a breath of relief.

The longer she sits in my lap, the less stressed her bond seems. And judging by the way Draken's shoulders just dropped, her roller coaster of emotions must be letting up.

We all watch silently, the minutes ticking by as the baggy, bloodshot eyes that've haunted her this morning begin to fade, revealing her stunning silver diamond eyes. Her red, blotchy cheeks are now a shade of dusty pink, all the swelling gone, leaving her face a beautiful blush.

The tension in her body completely melts away as she continues to lie leisurely across my lap. We need to be better about feeding her bond properly. I need to get better. She never would've gotten this bad today if I had.

A pang of guilt shoots through me, knowing my absence plays a large part in her current state.

"Better, little one?" Tillman asks, brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Much. I needed physical contact and for you all to be here. I've been trying my best to fight it off, but it got to be too much this morning," she admits quietly.

"Why haven't you said anything, Willow?" Corentin asks disapprovingly.

He cuts his eyes to Tillman before softening them and turning back to her. "I'm sorry for how harsh that was. I just wish you had said something."

Tillman's never been able to broadcast anything to us, but since we all shared a connection through Willow and watched her meeting with Elementra through his mind, he's been working on it more and for the most part can send short snippets to us if he's touching us, and by the look he's shooting Corentin and the hand squeezing his shoulder, he just told his ass off for the tone he used.

"You all have been nonstop and I didn't want to interfere. Tomorrow is important."

"You'll always come first, princess. Don't ever put your feelings off for us," he orders gently and leans down for a kiss.

Her squirming pulls a groan from my mouth as my dick immediately stands at attention for her. I know she can feel it, and she turns those fucking innocent eyes on me. They aren't innocent, though. She doesn't fool me. She's a little temptress. An innocent, sweet fucking temptress I'm utterly obsessed with.

"Are you okay?" she asks me thoughtfully. I understand she isn't referring to my rock-hard cock that's stabbing into her hip right now. She's worried I'm upset with her for touching me today.

My initial mental reaction earlier was to get her off me, but I shoved that wave of fear far down, refusing to allow myself to treat her that way. And surprisingly, I'm okay, more than okay. My body's craving her more than it's ever craved another human being. I'd never want this from anyone else, though, only her.

"As long as you're okay, Primary, I'm okay," I tell her honestly.

"I'm okay. We should get to the command office. I'm sure everyone's wondering where we are," she says quietly, pulling herself up off my chest, but I hold on to her hips tightly, not allowing her to leave my lap just yet.

"Fuck everyone else, little wanderer. We can get there when we get there. We'll make sure you're okay then we'll go," Draken states, grabbing ahold of her hand.

"Really, I'm okay now. My bonds calmed down, and if I stick close to the four of you today, I'll be okay. Plus, I don't want to be there all night planning. I want to have dinner all together and then a good night's sleep in my bed." She eyes each of us, letting us know that's not a request, that's an order, and I can't help smirking, glad to see the fire and sass coming back in full swing.

"Then let's get to work, princess," Corentin declares, and we all stand, everyone still holding on to her as we transport to the training gym as one.

It's teeming with E.F. members, those preparing to leave tomorrow, and those here preparing to take care of the academy while we're gone. Between academy team one, which is Ry's Nexus plus another Nexus, his Primary and Jamie, our Nexus, Rhett's Nexus, and Lyker's, and the palace team joining us, we know for sure we'll have at least thirty allies there. The goal is to not have any issues but have the strongest amongst us just in case.

Willow's giggle draws my attention down to her, where she's still wrapped in my arms.

"What's so funny?"

I follow the path of her pointed finger and find her Perfecta Anima laying into Ry, Nikoli, and San. All of them in uniform, and all trying to give her tips at the same time. Jamie's standing off to the side, arms crossed, shaking his head. Both my Primary and her Perfecta Anima are little spitfires.

Lifting my hands to cover her ears, I let out a piercing whistle, gaining the attention of everyone in the gym. When Oakly whips around and spots Willow, she drops her argument with her guys, leaving them to trail behind her.

"Everyone, listen up," Ry bellows as he and Tillman step in the middle of the madness in this gym. "Anyone who isn't going to Terravile tomorrow, outside to your post or the training field. Vince will be taking over E.F. training in our absence. Don't let me hear shit about you fucking off while I'm gone. That goes for student recruits as well. Get a move on."

"Damn, he's so fine when he gets all growly and bossy like that." Oakly leans in and whispers to Willow.

"Yeah, until he turns it around on you, then you flip your shit. I like 'em silent and deadly, personally," she whispers back, shivering from my hum of approval.

"Bad Primary. Pay attention," I tease, and she gives me a flirty little smirk over her shoulder.

"I am paying attention. You're distracting me."

"Gross, get a room. You're both distracting me." Oakly makes an exaggerated gagging noise, drawing my Primary's attention away from me.

"Oakly, pick one of your Nexus to partner with. You're running these drills and getting them all or you aren't going tomorrow," Tillman orders.

"Aw, can't I run them with Willow?" she whines.

"No. Now move. You too, Willow, pick a guy and let's go." He turns on his heel, not even giving the girls the chance to complain nor acknowledging the lethal glares they're shooting him.

"Go whip the dragon's ass, Primary." Giving her a little push, I raise my voice loud enough for Draken to hear me. The devilish look in his eye matches his mischievous smirk, both of which say he'll gladly take on that challenge.

Shaking my head at him, I walk over to where Corentin, Tillman, and Ry are spreading the ten files out on the table. We won't waste any time on Lyker's, but I can appreciate Rhett's thinking, not wanting to draw attention to him if these would've been confiscated somehow.

"Ry, let's go run these drills with Oakly. If she isn't ready, that's gonna be your ass and mine, so we need to make sure she's okay. We'll be back in a few to look through these with you two," Tillman says as he walks past me, clapping me on the back.

All these fuckers have gotten so much more touchy-feely since she's gotten here. I can't say I absolutely hate it, but there are times when I want to break their wrist.

"How are they looking?" I ask Corentin as he scans through a couple of them.

"Rhett got good information. Their elements, length of time they've been in the pack, information on all their jobs, hobbies, and families. Other than if they wear a mark or not, he was able to get everything else," he says appreciatively.

Thirty minutes into looking over a few of the files, my Primary's loud cheering filters through my single-focused mindset. Looking up, I see her jumping up and down, cheering Oakly on as she spars with Nikoli. He isn't giving it his all, no doubt his bond keeping him from doing that, but regardless, she's holding her own.

"Finish him, Oakly. Bring him to his knees," Willow shouts, causing laughs to sound around the gym, but it's obviously the push the other Primary needed.

Spinning out of reach of Nikoli's outstretched hands, she turns toward him and kicks his knees out, following up by jumping on his back, hollering her victory.

Looks like my Primary's Perfecta Anima will be joining us.

"That's your third yawn, little wanderer. Bath and time for bed," Draken announces, pulling her up with him to stand.

After Tillman decided Oakly was ready enough to join us tomorrow, they celebrated for a moment before we hit the files hard. Memorizing every little detail, down to the number of hairs on the heads of the nine finalists.

Willow took a keen interest in Lyker's file, even though we didn't need to, and my mind's been racing ever since, trying to figure out why. I hate the fact that she can't tell us, and I hate it even more that I really want to ask her regardless. I won't, of course, but damn I want to.

"Caspian." At the sound of my name, whispered from that sweet little mouth, I look up at her questioning eyes, knowing what they're asking. She holds my gaze for a long time, searching for an answer before a defeated little sigh falls from her lips.

"I'll see you in the morning."

She slinks from the room, the rest of the guys trailing behind her. They're all letting me off the hook, once again, and unlike any other time they let me get away with my shit, this time it bothers me.

I want one of them to yell at me, tell me to get my shit together. Let me blame one of them for forcing me into her room, into her bed tonight, rather than just making the decision on my own.

It's unfair, cowardly, and I know this, but I can't help it.

It's fucking awful of me to admit that the main reason I've been able to change for her is because she's been through something just as bad, well, even worse than I have. I never would've given some posh ass, stuck-up, never broken a nail, spoiled rich brat the time of day, not even for my brothers. But my Primary's different. She knows misery just like me.

And I've come a long way. With her help and understanding, I'm leaps and bounds from the man I was when she stepped foot into this realm. If she had never claimed Tillman, planted the seed that she was our Primary, the man I was on the first day she arrived would've flipped her over, fucked the shit out of her, and left her there a withering mess, not even caring what her name was.

She never would've looked at me in the eye longer than two seconds or even had a real conversation with me because I wouldn't have allowed it, and she sure as fuck would never have laid her hands on me.

One day, and one day soon, we'll have to talk about my kidnapping. I know she's seen me tortured, beat nearly to death, just to be healed back up and have it done all over again. She knows I was just a kid, barely fifteen, and she knows those scars run so much deeper than my skin.

She just doesn't know; it was a girl, well, woman, who put me there. And I've let that betrayal, that hatred, fester and brew ever since.

Pushing myself out of my seat in the lounge, I shadow straight to my shower and turn the water to scalding, letting the burn distract my mind from thinking about that bitch who nearly destroyed me.

It's not easy, though, once the memories sink their fangs in my veins.

My mind clouds over, just the way it always did when they forced the vials of highly potent intoxicators down my throat. The darkness takes hold, changing the water running down my skin to my blood.

Every stab, every slash, every cut from the enchanted dagger, slicing my body, leaving permanent scars, my daily reminders of the things that were done to fifteen-year-old me. Young, dumb, na?ve fifteen-year-old me.

Hervoice rings in my ears. A tone higher pitched than a hyena's laugh, bounces around my mind, rattling every nerve and echoing down to the depths of my blackened soul.

Making the boy who still lives trapped there shrivel up in his corner, where I keep him locked away, protected. The mischief creating prankster, who laughed freely and smiled constantly, flinches away from the power-hungry hands that are reaching for him.

No, she can't get to him again.

She'll never touch him again.

Divert.

Bliss.

I've tried for many years to create a diversion spell that worked. Since the weeks following my return when Gaster and my uncle first taught it to me, I've tried countless times to create a diversion strong enough to outweigh the bad and it's never worked, until now, until this moment.

Silver eyes brighter than any star in the sky penetrate the darkness, reaching in, gently caressing the teenage boy sitting there petrified, making him smile a devious little grin.

Wild, light brown hair, an absolute mess from a fitful night of sleep, paired with angry eyes, stare down my smirk as I tell her to get out of bed, no more sleeping. I hear my laugh echo as a pillow comes flying at me. Despite her being completely pissed at me, I was awestruck with her beauty. The raw, undone, just been awoken look is by far my favorite. It's when she's her most authentic self.

"She is not your demise. She is your salvation."

Her moans of pleasure, begging for more, more, more before she falls apart.

"She grew you a whole tree just for a little shade."

"I'll meet you in the darkness, Cas." Her raspy, two-day unused voice was music to my ears.

The touch of her soft lips against mine was like the first sip of water after living in the desert for days. The way her elements stroked mine as they flowed through her body rejuvenating her as she came back to me.

I cut the water off and hang my head, breathing through the emotional wringer my mind just went through. As the haze begins to clear, all I can do is thank my sweet Primary. She has no clue that once again, she's saved me.

Piece by piece, she's saving me.

I can't deny it, and I need to stop fighting it.

Commanding my element to dry me off, I step into my spacious, bare room. The only comfort here are the books that line the walls. The bed isn't even good enough to give me four to five hours of uninterrupted sleep, but I know where will, and if she'll have me, then that's where I'll be.

Dressing quickly, I shadow to the corner of her room, the one I always watch her from and stop, grinning at what I'm witnessing.

"Draken, I'm not gonna tell you again, stop spooning me. I'm about to tie you to the end of the damn bed," Tillman yells as Draken attempts again to reach over him.

"First off, that's some freaky shit. The only one getting tied up is little wanderer. Maybe she can tie me up. I don't know, we'll see. Secondly, I can't reach her over your massive fucking body without cuddling you," Draken yells back, sitting up looking at Willow for back up.

"Draken, you slept beside me last night. It's Tillman's turn." She laughs, shaking her head at him.

"I'm not saying I have to sleep beside you, but I need to be able to touch you, and he's in the way." He throws his hands up, offended she isn't defending him.

Stepping through the shadows, they all turn their heads to me.

Fuck, I didn't expect it to be some sort of spectacle.

"Any room left for me, Primary?" I ask teasingly, trying to hide the ball of doubt trying to lodge in my throat.

"Fuck yes! Tillman, move your big ass," Draken hollers, hopping up and attempting to roll Tillman away from Willow, causing all of us to laugh.

"Calm down, Draken. I'll move," Corentin offers, leaning up and giving her a kiss on the cheek before scooting over to make room for me.

Always the same with Corentin. I'm thirty-three years old, and he still sacrifices everything for me, for us, just like when we were kids. I have no doubt he'd move this whole fucking realm if it meant taking care of us.

Crawling in, I give his shoulder a squeeze, my silent thanks for being here for me. I can feel her gaze drilling into the side of my face, and I know if I look at her right now, she'll see right through me, she'll see I needed her as badly as she needed me.

"You're really staying? The whole night?" Her words are choked, and I know she's about to get emotional over this.

"I'm not going anywhere, Primary." Pulling her into my arms, I gently kiss her forehead, taking a minute to breathe in her sweet coffee scent.

Like the perfect Primary she is, she doesn't question it, doesn't ask if I'm okay or if I want to talk about it right now. She just looks at me like I hung the moon for her and slowly cuddles into my chest.

Letting my eyes drift shut, as the noise in the room quiets down and her breathing becomes deeper with her soft snores blowing on my chest, I fall into the most peaceful sleep I've had in eighteen years.