12. Twelve

"What are you reading, Primary?"

"Fuck, Caspian." Me and Oakly shriek and my journal goes flying out of my hand, hitting Gaster's office floor with a loud slap.

Stepping out of the cover of darkness, Caspian's dressed from head to toe in black, blending in darkly, drop dead sexily, with the shadows that cling to him. That dangerous look in his eye mixed with the smirk on his lips has me both pissed that he scared me on purpose and squirming from his playfulness.

"I was reading up on the portals before you scared the shit out of me. What the hell are you doing creeping out of the walls?" I ask sarcastically.

"Will you give us a minute Perfecta Anima?" he asks Oakly rather than answer me.

"You know I have a name and it's Oakly," she snarks, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm aware. I need a moment with my Primary," he replies, just as snarky.

I snort as Oakly gathers her stuff, muttering how he's an ass, and she takes it personally he won't bother calling her by her name. I'm pretty sure he does it on purpose just to piss her off because of her blatant favoritism to my guys, and needless to say, he's not the favorite.

"Why do you do that?" I snicker.

"Do what?" he asks, raising a curious brow.

"Not use her name. You don't even say my name unless I'm in trouble," I muse.

"I use her name, just not out loud," he vaguely replies.

"But why? And what about me?" I ask.

After a moment of rigid silence, I get the picture that, for some reason, I've pushed a sensitive topic. I guess it never truly occurred to me that it was an issue because I've never seen him interact with any females, aside from me and Oakly. He avoids most people like the plague besides me, the guys, and Gaster. He tolerates Oakly's Nexus at best.

Willing to drop this subject for now since he's obviously not ready or willing to talk about it, I lean down to pick my journal up, but his shadows block my way, gathering it up and moving it out of my reach. Whipping my head up to look at him, the serious expression he's wearing dries any words I may or may not have thought about saying next.

"For the longest time, I haven't addressed any female by their name. It makes them a real person. I address her as your Perfecta Anima because it's just what I'm used to. And you…" He pauses, running his shadows across my skin, wrapping me up and pulling me to my feet.

"When you first arrived, I didn't want to acknowledge you as real or as anything more than another female. Names carry power, and I didn't want you to have that power over me, so I refused to use it, and I addressed you as anything but. Her, she, the girl, the spy, anything but your name. Then you became more, so much more than just Willow. You became my Primary. The highest, greatest, most powerful blessing, so I hold you in such regard. You are my Willow, but more importantly, you're my Primary."

My mouth falls open and closed as I ponder his words. I'm not sure how to respond honestly. The possessive way he says it makes my heart flutter in my chest and my bond glows from the recognition. I've just assumed this whole time he calls me Primary as a pet name, like all the guys have given me one, but this seems so much more coming from him.

"Tell me what you were reading," he says, distracting me from the multitude of things I want to say and questions I want to ask. It's evident from his tense posture and haunted eyes that there's more to his reasoning, but he's not willing to explain further, and that's okay with me for now.

"Portas Regnorum," I answer.

"Ah, the Portals of the Realms. Why's that caught your attention?" he asks as he guides us to sit back down on Gaster's couch.

"I found the physical copy at Gaster's when you all were interrogating Jarod and something about it has stuck to me ever since. The Mastery has to have some sort of means to be traveling between the realms. Either by a portal or by someone like Gaster," I explain. His curiosity trickles in slowly through our bond, making mine pique even more. If it's caught his interest, I know I'm onto something.

"Gaster explained to you the portals closed and why we believe they did?" he asks.

"Yes, he did. But read this. I really believe there's some sort of connection between the blood magic and the portals," I declare.

When he hands me my journal back, I quickly recite my search spell to bring me back to the page I had just finished reading before he made me lose my place. Once the pages reveal, I quickly skim back over the passage I want him to read. This was written in a time when the portals were still open, this knowledge is both old and so enlightening.

As the portals began opening one by one across the fabric of existence, the price of passage had to be paid by those willing to travel the distance. Where a mixture of magic can predominantly be found in all the realms now, powering the crossing of the portals, there was a time when there was no mixing of beings across the lands.

Each realm held their own source of power that had never mingled with any other. The only connection to any of us was the similarities of our life essence, thus creating the payment for passage.

Turning the book around to him, I point to the paragraph and wait to see what he thinks about it. Impatiently tapping my foot after a few moments because I swear, he must've read the damn thing a hundred times by now. After my second huff, he smirks and hands me my journal back.

"I do believe you're onto something, Primary. There's a connection between the dagger, the gem, and the portals. And it has something to do with their blood," he concludes.

"Yes, exactly. You think that too?" I ask excitedly.

"I think there's a very big possibility," he, not as enthusiastically as me, agrees.

"What are you doing with your day? Do you want to stay with me during my free period and keep looking into the portals?" I ask casually.

Internally, I'm freaking out like a damn teenager with her first crush. Between his confession and the closeness of his body to mine right now, I'm pathetically swooning. It's getting harder and harder not to touch him anytime he's near me. I want so badly to go to him freely like the others, but I don't. I know he wouldn't receive it well. And it takes everything in me not to pressure or push him.

"That's one of the reasons I came to see you. Corentin's changed your schedule up after yesterday. You'll be working with Vince, Walker, and Draken now during this free period rather than staying in the shifter class," he tells me.

"Did he, really?"

"Yes. It'll be better for you and your dragon to work with the strongest amongst them. The others are a waste of space and your time. We have a lot of work to do before traveling to Terravile and you need to be ready."

His mentioning of Terravile instantly cools the pissiness I felt creeping up from Corentin changing my schedule without at least discussing it with me. They may not have any idea what could possibly happen at the Alpha trials, but I do, and he's right, I need as much help as I can get just in case.

"Fine. You said that's one reason you came to see me. What's another?" I ask sweetly, hoping he'll say something cute.

I mentally snort at the thought. Cute isn't a word I'd use to describe anything about Caspian. Teasing, mischievous. Sometimes, those are rarities sprinkled out over his serious demeanor but never cute. The smile that's lingering on my face thinking about him slowly melts off as I gaze into his darkening eyes. He's about to say something I won't like, and the hairs standing on the back of my neck are not the only indicators of that. I feel his apprehension.

"Just say it," I demand lightly.

"I'm leaving to go check on the other shifter groups across the realm. I need to scout and see if the Mastery's infiltrated them as well. It's going to take up a lot of my time from now until we leave for Terravile," he spits out.

I try hard to shove my bond down, suppress the frantic beat it's starting in my chest, but I have a million questions running through my mind right now that are not helping. The last time he left, although we weren't on good terms, he was fucking taken. Despite my mental urge not to bombard him, the questions fall from my mouth faster than I can process them.

"When? Why you? Where are you going? Who's going with you?"

"Look at me, Primary," he commands, no doubt sensing the rising panic in me. "I'm leaving in just a minute, alone. I'm going because I'm the stealthiest and fastest. My gift allows me to transport in and out of the darkness faster than anyone, as well as use the shadows to move certain distances without even needing to transport. I'll come back and check in as much as possible."

His assurance does nothing to calm my bond down, but I bite my tongue, literally, letting the pain distract me from my turbulent emotions. I know they all have roles, jobs, that are going to put us in situations like this. I just didn't expect it to affect me as much as it is.

As the tears begin gathering in my eyes, I look away from him and blink them rapidly, forcing my burning nose to ignore the building pressure. I can't say or do anything that's going to make him feel bad about leaving. He has to do this, and he's obviously, I guess, the best man for the job. When I compose myself enough to look at him without crying, I turn and nod.

"Come here," he says, but the command is pointless since he's already pulling me to him with his shadows.

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he covers us in darkness. Instead of hurriedly whisking us through the shadows like he usually would, he takes his time, walking us back slowly through Gaster's walls.

He stops only a few feet behind where Nikoli is perched on the desk Oakly's using in the library, neither the wiser we're sitting here watching them. As we move through the rows of shelves, he brings me just a few feet from where Gaster is showing a student two different texts. His momentary pause and the quick glance up lets me know he in fact does know we're here somewhere.

The weightlessness that comes with traveling like this has always put me off, but I think that's because he never gives me time to get comfortable. Typically, he's whisking me away and spitting me back out just as fast. Now that he's giving me time to adjust and appreciate this, it's amazing, liberating. No one can see us, bother us, harm us. It's just the two of us, moving as one. Coming through a wall in a part of the castle I've never been to, my ears immediately pick up on the voice of my most cheery of men. Following the sound, I snicker when my eyes find Draken taunting six classmates in his fire elemental class.

"You fuckers seriously thought it would only take six of you to beat me. Now how are you going to get out?" he chastises, shaking his head disappointedly at them.

"Can he hear us?" I whisper to Caspian.

"Only if I want him to," he says in a normal voice.

"Don't. Let's see if I can mess with him." I laugh, and the rumble of his chest at my back lets me know he's perfectly okay with my plan.

Focusing on Draken, where he's still standing there both picking on and giving directions to his classmates on how to get out of his ring of fire, I send a big hit of lust right down our bond and straight to him.

His back shoots ramrod straight, and he turns on his heel, searching the area for me. Me and Caspian both laugh as he confusingly rubs his chest and shakes his head. I give it a minute, letting him settle back down and focus back on the students, then I send an even bigger hit. This time, his eyes flash rapidly as he begins searching the room, pacing back and forth.

"Whoops. Might have been too much that time," I admit.

The visibility in front of me drastically improves from the darkened haze that I've been viewing out of, to clear perfection. I steel myself for the weightlessness to drop, but it never does because Caspian only lowers his shadows enough to show our faces.

"Get his attention, Primary," he whispers in my ear.

Once more, only a little, though, I hit Draken with my lust, and this time when he turns in a circle, I giggle, and he immediately spots us. His confused scowl morphs into a huge smile as he starts charging toward us, making me squeal.

"Race you to Corentin's," Caspian shouts, covering us again fully.

We move through the walls and the throngs of people undetected, Draken's laugh carrying behind us. Caspian could've easily already had us there, but instead, he keeps shooting Draken with shadows and water, letting him know where we are until we hit the admin building, and he flies us through Corentin's office, depositing us on the couch. The sudden shift in my bodily structure has my head spinning and everything sways as I sink into Caspian with a grunt.

"You okay, princess?" Corentin asks as he kneels in front of me.

"We got a fired-up dragon on our heels." I smile, hearing his footsteps trampling down the hall.

"What did the two of you do?" The tone of his voice sounds serious, but the softness in his eyes and slight tilt of his lips deceive the fact he finds whatever we did funny, despite having no clue.

"Little wanderer, not cool. You gave me a raging boner in front of the whole class," Draken says the moment he slams through the office door.

I try to cover my snort with a cough when Corentin's eyes swing to Draken then to me, the softness gone, in its place, displeasure. I can see the scenarios coursing through his mind now. Draken's ass busted in here, making it seem like I was feeling him up in front of a whole group of people or some shit.

"It's not as bad as he just made that sound. I was hiding in the shadows with Caspian, sending lust down the bond. I didn't truly do anything in front of anyone."

He tries to hold onto the serious scowl on his face, but the more my mouth tilts up in a smile, his fractures, and when Caspian lets out a surprised laugh behind me, he breaks.

The four of us sit there for a good minute laughing, the noise growing louder as Draken starts reenacting the whole thing for Corentin. Of course his version is more exaggerated and explicit, but it still has us rolling.

"What's going on here?" Tillman asks, startling us all into silence for a second before our laughter breaks out again over his confused face.

Not liking being left out of the loop, he focuses on one of us, not sure which, and figures it out on his own, his rare, deep laugh bursting from his chest.

"Fuck, I needed that. That's why I couldn't find you, Caspian." He chuckles.

The second he says it, my whole body tenses against Caspian's, my laughing cuts off, and my smile evaporates. Reality seems to slam back into me with the force of a wrecking ball. The whole reason we even took the trip through the shadows was because I was upset he was leaving.

"Primary," he says softly.

"I'm fine. It's okay," I say unconvincingly. He knows the truth, but he won't push.

Standing with me in his arms, he passes me off to Draken. Leaning in slowly, he lays a soft kiss to my temple, and I have to force the waterworks back.

I know the bond is causing this rise in emotions, but underneath that, it's my own feelings it's feeding off of, so no matter how much I'd like to blame it all on the bond, I can't. I'm really upset and worried about him going to check on the other shifters alone.

After a quick nod and a shoulder squeeze to Draken, he moves to Tillman then Corentin, who mutters, "Remember what I said." If I wasn't fighting with myself not to cry, I'd ask what he was talking about, but as Caspian's eyes travel back to me, I don't. I just watch quietly as he gives Corentin a firm nod, then walks through the wall.

The second he's out of sight, I let the dam burst.

All three of the guys surround me, laying their hands on me, kissing me, and whispering sweet nothings.

"He's going to be fine, little wanderer," Draken swears.

"Everyone said that last time."

"A griffin? A basilisk?" Vince asks for the hundredth time. That last one finally catches my attention.

"Those are real?" I shrill.

Fuck me, I thought that was only in Harry Potter.

"Well, I guess since you didn't know that, then you're not that," he comments, completely ignoring my shocked expression.

"Enough, Vince," Corentin chides.

"What? Even if I guess, you all won't tell me?"

After my huge breakdown over Caspian, everyone decided they needed to be here with me for my new shifter class. I'm calling it shifter class 2.0.

"No," Corentin remarks.

"Will knowing what my animal is improve the way you teach me in any sort of way?" I ask, arching a brow. His curiosity doesn't faze me in the slightest. I'm just as bad and if the situation were reversed, I'd be doing the same thing.

"Not necessarily improve. I'm going to treat you the same either way, but it would help so I know where to focus on most and how to approach teaching you. How your animal typically reacts to other animals, its fighting techniques, its hierarchy on the shifter tier, are all attributes that could help me sharpen your skills more," he reasons.

I look over at Tillman, knowing good and well he's reading his thoughts. When his eyes meet mine, I know he didn't hear anything alarming.

"Draken," Tillman hollers, calling him over. "Give us a minute, Vince."

"What do you want to do, Will?" he asks as soon as Draken comes to stand with us.

"I mean, I think it's hilarious letting him continue to stew in his nosiness, but at the same time, will him knowing really hurt anything or will he be able to help me more knowing what I am?" I ask.

"What did you hear?" Corentin asks Tillman discreetly.

"He's loyal to the bone, as he's always been. He's just genuinely curious and he has the best intentions of teaching her," Tillman answers confidently.

"And what about the gator? Should we be concerned he's already said something about her power?" Corentin follows up and Tillman shakes his head.

"No. He's more concerned about her than anything. His friendship with Draken has given him a sense of associated worry over her."

"Aww, how sweet," I comment sincerely, earning myself three stern looks.

Jealous damn men.

"Are you comfortable with them knowing, little wanderer?" Draken asks.

"I have no issue with it as long as you all don't. I'm not really the one who truly understands the dangers of being a powerful being here, you all are, so I just follow your lead."

I'm not na?ve or ignorant when it comes to the fact that my level of power, my Memoria stone, and being their true Primary definitely puts me in a top spot for some interest to the Mastery, but how the rest of the elite work and move in Elementra is still something new to me. I really have no clue how it'll affect me. I just know the guys don't want them to know.

"Fine. He may be our close friend, but you'll keep tabs on his thoughts when it comes to her," Corentin orders, to which Tillman looks at him like an ass for stating the obvious.

"Now that that's settled, how should I tell them?" I ask eagerly, bouncing on my toes. I love a good surprise.

"You can shift, kitten. Well, not a full shift, not here, but you can partially shift," Draken says.

"I've only ever done that twice. Both times she brought that on."

"Well, that can be his first lesson," Corentin declares, steering me over to where Vince and Walker are standing.

"All done with your secret meeting?" Vince asks sarcastically.

He's apparently very comfortable with the guys because gone is the professor persona from yesterday, and in front of me is just a normal laid-back guy.

"I'd like for you to teach me to partially shift," I say nonchalantly. His eyes widen for a split second, giving away his own excitement, then they narrow, looking for the trap.

"If you do that, I'll know your animal."

"We're aware," Corentin replies sternly.

"Okay then. Have you ever partially shifted before?" Vince asks enthusiastically, rubbing his hands together.

"Yes, but neither time did I initiate it, she did."

"Good, then your body already knows the feel of it. Partially shifting isn't the difficult part. The difficult part is making sure your animal doesn't push a full shift on you. Sometimes their excitement to get free can overwhelm your senses. So your intentions need to be clear and stern. Take a minute and focus on that, set a firm boundary with your animal," he instructs.

Blocking everyone out, I focus on my dragon. She perks her head up, almost like she knew I needed her. Doing as Vince said, I push my intentions toward her, but not being stern or firm like he said. So far, our relationship has truly been one of understanding each other. Those two times she did take over, were both with high emotions. Possessiveness and lust. Right now, she's calm, ready to go with the flow.

A feeling of understanding filters from her to me, and I nod at him. I already know. I can feel it. She's not going to push. She's going to be right here to guide me with him.

"Good, now call your animal forward and picture your skin being coated with their skin, your hands shifting into their paws or what have you. When they come to the surface, infuse their presence with your magic and let the transformation take over, but don't let it go further than what I just said," he directs.

Taking a deep breath and shaking my hands out, I call her the rest of the way to the forefront since she was already sitting there idly, waiting on my command.

Blowing out my breath, I close my eyes and let my magic flow through her presence and across my skin. The two forces meet in the middle of my chest gradually, companionly, then spread. It's almost like when we fully shift, except then, my magic usually comes pouring out with her. It's large, electric, and extremely powerful. This is still powerful, but not as forceful, not as rapid.

My skin pulls tight, a subtle vibration skimming over it as the powers combine to shift the outer layer into the hard armor that is my scales. The slight growing pains in my fingers, paired with the pinpricks that embed faintly in my palm, indicate my nails have shifted into claws.

I keep my eyes closed for a second longer, allowing them to shift fully before I look up at Vince and Walker. I know this is about to be a shock to them and I want to give them the full show.

My purple slits stare hard at the pale lion shifter in front of me. Having my dragon's sight at the head, Vince's features are so keen, I could count out the stubble on his chin if I wanted to. Turning my gaze on Walker, he's shocked, but not nearly as Vince. He almost seems relieved that I revealed as something so powerful.

"Might want to pick your jaw up, Vince, you're going to catch a fly," I sass teasingly.

"A dragon… She's a fucking dragon, and you all didn't think I should know this," he whisper-yells, his eyes shooting from looking me over to scowling at my guys.

"It was need-to-know. Now you know. We're not sure if it's because she emerged so much later or other factors. Regardless, she catches on extremely quickly, typically only needing to be taught something once, so teach her. She has far more control than Draken did when his gift emerged," Corentin comments, making my dragon purr.

I try my damnedest to hide the sound since we're in the company of two other powerful shifters. The last embarrassing-ass thing I want to happen is them hearing me purr, for God's sake.

Vince glances back at me, thankfully ignoring the noise that came out of my mouth, then he starts to circle me, observing all of my features. It's not an intimidating thing, more so he's trying to absorb everything he can about me.

"How many times have you fully shifted?" he asks.

"Twice. The first when I emerged. The other…" I trail off, not willing to explain why I shifted then.

"And neither time you had trouble?"

"The first time, yes. I didn't know what was happening and it was excruciatingly painful, but Draken guided me through it, then it was fine. I was a little wobbly on my first flight, but then we raced, and I got my balance during our flight." I smile, recalling the whole ordeal. It was scary as shit at first, but now, it brings me so much joy, no doubt it'll always be one of my fondest memories.

"Raced?" he asks.

"My little wanderer is fast as fuck," Draken brags, winking over at me.

"Well, we won't be able to test that here. We'll have to plan a day at your house for that, so for now, shift back for me and we'll work on your dominance. No wonder you sent the entire class to their knees. A dragon." He shakes his head like he still can't quite believe what he's seeing.

Shifting back is way faster and in a second flat, I'm back in my skin, looking through my normal silver eyes. Vince nods at me, like he both expected me to be able to do it but is also impressed it happened so smoothly.

"Will partially shifting always take that long? Or did it take longer because it was my first time intentionally doing it?" I ask.

Instead of answering right away, Vince turns his palm over and faster than my eyes can follow, his hand turns into a golden paw that could easily cover my whole face. Five toes stretch out. Claws as sharp as daggers force their way through the fluff, retracting in and out as he curls and uncurls his paw. I stare, fascinated, reaching out slowly to touch one, but before I can, my hand is jerked back.

"Let's not touch the cat, okay, kitten," Draken warns.

"Sorry, got a little distracted." I apologize. I tend to get a little tunnel vision when I hyperfocus on something.

"Your partials will get faster with practice. And we'll be practicing daily," Vince declares, shifting his hand back.

For the next hour, we run through a series of drills. We quickly work out that my dominance has been coming out of me at my dragon's insistence and guidance. Anytime I've used it, she's been leading the way rather than me using the ability without her, so that's what we spend the most time on.

It's more difficult than I thought to call on my dominance without calling her up with it. When it just comes out of me at her command, it feels and sounds natural, but my first few tries, it sounds forced, the rumble coming up my throat like I'm trying to hack up mucus and it sends me into a coughing fit at least three times.

I've always been one to quickly grow frustrated if I can't seem to get something, and that's exactly what I'm feeling currently. Frustrated as fuck. No matter how many times Vince explains it, I can't seem to grasp how to make the rumble start in my chest and move up and out my mouth.

Ridiculous.

"I just don't understand. How do I separate the dominance when it comes from her? I wouldn't have this ability if I didn't have her," I argue, throwing my hands in the air defeatedly.

"You should still be able to separate the two. Just like you and her are one, you're also two completely different beings." Vince once again tries to explain.

"Are your animals not like right here?" I ask, tapping on my chest. "Like can you not clearly communicate with them and understand them?" I ask, eyeing him, Walker, and Draken. Corentin and Tillman as well, although they don't have animals. I just want someone to agree with me right now.

"You and your animal talk to one another?" Walker asks, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I mean, not like we're talking right now, but I can ask her things and she sends me feelings or impressions back that I can understand."

"Draken, do you and your dragon do the same? And is he always at the forefront when you use your dominance?" Vince asks.

"Yeah, to both for the most part. But he's far less cooperative than Willow's dragon when it comes to communicating and honestly, I've never paid much attention to how my dominance comes out. It just does," he admits, attempting and failing to produce a growl now that he's focusing on doing it without his dragon. The same gurgling, hacking noise that I made comes out of him.

"See, it's not natural." I point at Draken's surprised face.

"Interesting. Willow, try again without her taking over, but with you," Vince orders.

Without asking for her guidance, I solely think of the power and dominance we wield as one and like a fine-tuned guitar, my growl rolls smoothly right off my tongue, aimed directly at him.

He immediately uncrosses his arms, balling his fist to his side as his body shakes, fighting off my command. Thinking with the intention of letting him go, I cut off the sound and his body instantly stills.

"Most animals aren't like that. Most of us can separate the two easily, like an extra gift. It seems dragons are a little more intermingled. It's no surprise that the two of you are different, though. You're the only two in existence. We've never had your kind to study to figure out the inner workings of your shifter nature," Vince states.

That's so crazy to think about. I mean, I obviously knew that, but hearing it said out loud, it's so trippy to acknowledge that in this entire realm, in all the realms, the two of us, standing side by side, are the only two of our kind.

Lacing my fingers through Draken's, I give him a tight squeeze. For fourteen years, he was completely alone in this. Now we're in this together and I'll forever be by his side.

"I don't feel any separation from her. I mean, other than the obvious. She's me and I'm her. Working with her feels far more natural than trying to fight against her or push her to the side," I explain.

"Same. Me and my dragon work seamlessly, unless something's wrong with Willow, then he tries his hardest to take over," Draken states.

"Then going forward, we'll switch our training up to doing everything together with your dragon at the forefront with you. If you work best together, it's going to be your greatest strength," Vince declares, nodding and looking between me and Draken like his most prized pupils that he can't wait to mold into beastly perfection.

"That's enough for today. We need to get Willow some lunch," Corentin announces, coming to stand behind me. As if he knew it was coming, my stomach growls not a second later.

"I've worked up an appetite with all this hard work," I joke.

"Come on then, princess, let's get you some food before you go to combat."

Ugh, I still don't like that class.