7

7Jude

When Jude reached the kitchen, he could see Jace had once again outdone himself. Spread out on the table were two charcuterie boards, one loaded with fresh fruits, crackers, and cheese and a second that featured cured meats, PBJ finger sandwiches, and nuts. The kids sat around the table, urging each other to try something they liked.

"Jace, this looks amazing." Jude grabbed two plates, one for himself and the other for Cope. He didn't know how long his husband would be and didn't want him to be stuck with the multigrain crackers everyone was avoiding like the plague.

"Is Cope okay?" Ronan whispered when Jude sat next to him.

Jude hoped so. Their last trip to Arizona hadn't gone so well. "He's just getting his bearings. I know he's been worried about me and how being here would affect my mental health."

"I wondered the same thing." Ronan reached for a chunk of pepperoni. "You know that if those jerks who gave you trouble growing up try stirring the pot again, we've all got your back."

Fitzgibbon and Jace nodded in agreement.

"I appreciate it, guys. I really do. After all these years, I would hope people would have matured, but you never know. My cousin Abel, Wolf's uncle, is looking forward to seeing us." Jude had never had a good relationship with Abel. He'd been much closer to his brother, Jacob, who was Wolf's biological father. Thankfully, they'd been able to bury the hatchet before he and Cope had left the reservation, taking baby Wolf with them. They'd kept in touch over the years through email and text.

"Oh, wow!" Cope said when he walked into the kitchen a few minutes later. "This looks amazing."

"I made you a plate," Jude said, pointing to the seat next to him.

"Thanks." Cope brushed a kiss against Jude's head.

"Ewww! Kissing!" Wolfie made a face. The other kids chorused along with him.

"How about we talk about something more important than kissing?" Jude asked, getting out of his seat. He grabbed his backpack and pulled out a safari hat, which he stuck on his head.

"Uncle Jude, that's a bad look on you," Everly said with a grimace on her face.

"You think so?" Jude asked, pushing out his bottom lip to make a sad face.

"I don't!" Wolf said. "I think Daddy looks like Safari Sam."

"Who's Safari Sam?" Aurora asked, looking at Everly, who shrugged like she didn't know either.

"Santa Claus brought me all his books. Sam is a kid explorer who talks about animals and saving the planet." Wolf shot Jude a proud look.

Jude had fallen in love with the books and bought himself and Wolf matching safari hats to wear while he read the books at bedtime.

"Why haven't I ever heard of Safari Sam?" Aurora asked.

"Maybe because you're not going to be a famous explorer when you grow up like I am." Wolf puffed out his chest.

Aurora's face crumpled. "I want to be an explorer like Woofie!" She hopped off her chair and ran to Jace, who scooped her up.

"We're all going to be explorers this week," Jude said quickly before Ezra and Everly had the chance to complain along with Aurora.

"We are?" Aurora asked.

"You bet your biscuit." Jude held up his hand for a high five. Aurora slapped his palm but looked dubious about becoming an explorer. "We're all in a new place with new animals and plants that you may not have ever seen before, so we need to talk about things to avoid so you don't get hurt."

"How can a plant hurt me?" Everly asked, looking curious.

"Cauliflower hurts me all the time!" Wolf crowed. His hands went to his throat, and he made gagging sounds before falling dramatically off his chair.

Jude rolled his eyes at his son's antics. Cauliflower was his least favorite food too, but he kept that under wraps. If Wolf knew Jude hated it, he wouldn't eat it either. He had no idea the hardest part of being a parent to a budding first grader was dealing with what Wolf would and would not eat. "You all saw the giant cactus on the way here, right?"

"Right," the kids agreed.

"Instead of having leaves, cactus plants have sharp spikes that protect them from danger. So we need to be careful around them so we don't get pricked."

"There's nothing worse than a sharp prick," Ronan said.

"Takes one to know one," Fitzgibbon muttered back.

"Okay, kids," Jude began, shooting Ronan and Fitz a dirty look, "let's talk about rattlesnakes."

"Rattlesnakes are the coolest!" Wolf said.

"They are pretty cool, but they're also very dangerous. The rattler has venom, which it injects into you, which is very painful and can kill you." Jude looked around the table at the kids. Everly and Aurora's eyes went wide. Ezra reached for another cracker while Wolf wore a serious look.

Jude grabbed his phone and played a video he'd found of the rattle. "This sound means the snake is scared. It's a warning that if you don't move away, you're going to get bitten." The table was dead quiet, with everyone focused on Jude's phone. "Snakes don't have ears, so they can't hear you coming. They can sense vibration, so they'll be able to feel your footsteps."

"Like when Dad thumps around upstairs like he's the 'Credible Hulk." Everly rolled her eyes. "The whole house shakes."

Jude snorted. He'd stayed with Ten and Ronan after he'd been shot several years ago and remembered how heavy-footed Ronan was around the house. "In this case, your dad thumping around is a good thing because it tells the snakes danger is coming."

"Thanks, Dad!" Everly grinned at Ronan, who'd been wearing a sour look on his face.

"A couple of last things about rattlesnakes. Do not lift up rocks or fallen wood because the snakes like to sleep where it's dark. If you hear the rattle, run away. Got it?"

"Got it!" everyone chorused back.

"Okay, on to the Gila monsters." Jude held up a picture of the pink-and-black lizard.

"He's so cute!" Aurora gushed. "Daddy, I want a healer monster!"

"Me too!" Everly agreed. "I'll name her Barbie!"

Jude bit his lip to keep from laughing. The girls were absolutely adorable, but they were missing a key fact or two about the cute lizard. "First of all, Gila monsters are wild animals, and they don't belong in the house."

"Why not?" Ten asked. "I get to keep Ronan."

Jude snorted. He was waiting for Cope to agree, but he only shook his head. "Another reason we can't keep them as pets is that they're endangered. There's not a lot of them left."

"'Cause everyone has them as pets," Aurora said, sounding like an expert.

"Actually, it has to do with habitat loss, but that's beside the point. The main reason we can't have one as a pet is because they're poisonous."

"Like those cute little frogs!" Everly gushed.

"The little red ones look like they're wearing jeans!" Aurora chimed in.

Jude had made the mistake of showing the kids a YouTube video about the colorful but poisonous frogs of Central America. Not only did the kids think the little strawberry blue jean dart frogs were adorable, but they wanted to get some in case they ever got bullied. Jude admired the idea but had told the kids the frogs would be sad if they had to live away from their mommies and daddies.

"When did poisonous animals become cute?" Ronan asked. "Is there a cartoon I missed?"

"We're straying from the point." Jude sighed. His safety talk was being overrun by the kids cooing over the animals. He hoped to change that with the last animal on the danger list. "Keep your eyes peeled for tarantulas." He held up a picture of the giant spider. From where he was standing, he saw Ronan and Fitzgibbon recoil. Jude crossed his finger that none of the kids would want one as a pet. "These spiders are about the size of the palm of my hand." Jude held it up for everyone to see. "The tarantulas aren't poisonous, but don't try to pick them up or handle them."

"Those spiders live here?" Everly asked, looking scared.

Jude nodded. "You most likely won't see them, but I wanted you to be aware of them. If one comes near you, blow on it, and the spider will go away."

"Daddy killed a spider in my bathroom yesterday." Aurora shivered in the warm room. She hopped out of her seat and grabbed Fitz's hand. "Will you check for spiders in the bathroom?" The little girl sounded as if she were on the verge of tears.

"Okay, let's go look." Fitzgibbon headed for the stairs.

"I'm going too!" Wolf jumped out of his seat and took the girls' hands.

"I'd say that was a pretty successful briefing until you scared our kids half to death." Ronan slapped a hand on Jude's shoulder. "It's good to know that a blow job will make those ugly assholes fuck right off." He started up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Ten asked.

"To check our bathroom for spiders. Maybe under the bed and in the closets too." Ronan's arms spasmed with a full-body shiver.

"I'll come look with you," Ten said, sounding resigned to his fate.

Jude turned to Cope, who wore an uneasy look. "Maybe we should take a peek in the boys' room? You know, just to be sure."

"Yeah, let's go do that." Jude's attention landed on Jace, who was the only adult left at the table. "Are you coming too?"

"Nope. I'll stay down here with Ezra and Lizzy B." Jace reached for a pile of pepperoni slices. "Besides, these snacks aren't going to eat themselves."

Jude laughed. He couldn't argue with Jace's logic or his appetite. As he climbed the stairs, he hoped that the only creatures the kids found under the bed were dust bunnies.