12

12Cope

The Grand Canyon's Mather Point absolutely took Cope's breath away. The bright midmorning sun showed off the layers of red, orange, and purple sedimentary rock that comprised the canyon walls. A chill shook his body as he marveled over what his eyes were seeing.

"You okay?" Jude asked from beside him. He had Lizbet strapped to his chest. Wolf and Eagle were several feet away, chatting together.

Cope shook his head. "No, I don't think I am." He couldn't pull his eyes away from the scene in front of him. "I've seen hundreds of pictures of this place, but standing here, seeing it with my own eyes, is something else. I don't think there are words to describe it. Magnificent, amazing, and stunning all seem too small, you know?"

"I do know," Jude agreed. "I came here for the first time when I was thirteen. It was only a few months after my father died. At that point, I hated everything and everyone. Eagle knew I was struggling, and he brought me here. The grandeur of this place made me feel so small in comparison, which helped me to see that my troubles weren't as big as I thought they were."

"What do you think he and Wolf are talking about?" Cope pointed to where Eagle was making elaborate hand gestures and Wolf wore a mesmerized look.

"Eagle is telling Wolf the story of the great flood, how our people survived it, and how the water created the canyon." Jude wore a wistful smile, which surprised Cope.

"Living on the reservation wasn't all bad," Cope said, leaving his comment open-ended, hoping Jude would open up a bit more.

Jude opened his mouth, looking as if he had a quick comeback locked and loaded. Instead of firing it off, he sighed. "Yeah, it wasn't all bad. I learned so much from Eagle but allowed that to be eclipsed by the way the rest of our people tried to shun me." He picked up Cope's hand and led him over to Wolf and Eagle.

"I want to learn more about our family," Wolf said. "Daddy said we'd talk about my other parents."

Jude's panic-filled eyes widened. With a sigh, he turned to his grandfather. "I think now's a good time for that, don't you, Eagle?"

Nodding, Jude's grandfather walked Wolf back to a nearby bench. Cope and Jude sat on the other side of their son.

Cope knew all along that this day would come. Wolf knew from an early age that he'd been adopted. He and Jude had agreed early on that they wouldn't hide anything from Wolf but hadn't settled on a time when they'd tell Wolf his own origin story.

"What do you know about your parents?" Eagle asked gently.

"I know that they're in heaven, right, Daddy?" Wolf turned to Jude, who nodded.

Eagle reached for his phone and tapped the screen. He turned it around to show Wolf. "This is Jacob and Sue."

Wolf's dark eyes lit up. "They look just like me!"

Cope, with his blond hair and blue eyes, knew this day was coming, when Wolf would see everything his biological parents had in common with him. He took a deep breath and wrapped an arm around his son. "You have your mommy's smile." He grabbed his own phone and pulled up a shot of Wolf smiling for the camera.

Looking back and forth between the two pictures, Wolf nodded. "We're just the same."

Eagle smiled at Cope, and in that moment, he realized how much the two of them had in common. Both of them had raised a child that wasn't biologically theirs. The only difference was that Wolf had no memory of his parents, while Jude spent thirteen years with his father.

"You have many things in common with Jacob and Sue, just as you do with your parents."

Wolf's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Eagle nodded. "You're sweet and caring, just like Cope. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, just like Jude. You're a good friend just like Uncle Ronan, and you love to bake like Uncle Tennyson."

As Eagle spoke, Cope felt tears sting his eyes. He loved his son with his whole heart and wished Wolf could have grown up with his parents but had vowed to himself that he would be the kind of parent his son needed. Cope had never been vain like his mother or selfish like his father. He'd given Wolf the freedom to make his own choices but would always be there to catch him when he fell or when things didn't go his way.

"I'm also brave and strong like you, Granpa Eagle." Wolf wrapped his arms around Eagle and held on tight. Cope could see the old man's eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

"Can you send us the pictures you have of Jacob and Sue?" Jude asked.

Eagle nodded in return. "If one of you can show me how to send them."

"Can I have one in my room?" Wolf asked.

"You sure can." Cope would print and frame one when they got home.

"Woofie!" Everly called, walking toward them. "We're gonna get ice cream!" She waved her arms. "Come on!"

"Can I get ice cream?" Wolf asked, looking as if all talk of his biological parents was forgotten.

Jude reached into his pocket and handed Wolf some cash. "Go crazy. Get all the toppings."

"Thanks, Daddy!" Wolf snatched the money and took Everly's hand.

"We'll find you in a few minutes," Jude said to Ronan.

Cope watched as the kids skipped off together with Kaye, Ten, and Ronan right behind them.

"I'm going to get all the toppings too," Eagle said, getting to his feet. He set a hand on Cope's shoulder. "You did great."

Cope nodded, feeling as if he'd done anything but great.

"He's right, you know?" Jude said when Eagle was out of earshot.

"Who's right about what?" Cope felt like he was losing his mind. Eagle had made a lot of good points; so had Wolf.

"Eagle was right when he said Wolf has something from all of us inside him." Jude wrapped an arm around Cope's shoulder. "People put so much emphasis on what a child looks like. Does he have my nose or your weird toes. Eye color and smiles don't matter, babe. It's what's inside that counts. We gave Wolf a safe home to grow up in, where he's free to be a little boy. To laugh and learn and have fun with his friends. Not only that, but we've given him a family who would do anything for him. He's got more uncles and crazy cousins than he knows what to do with. We've done the same thing for Lizbet."

Cope laughed. "We both grew up as only children. I always wanted a sibling or cousins, but it was always just me and my mother."

"I had relatives on the reservation, but they didn't welcome me into the family." Jude took a deep breath. "Our kids will have the exact opposite childhood than we had. I have no doubt that Ronan would do anything for them. Same goes for Ten, Jace, and Fitz. I never had that. From an early age, I knew I had only myself to rely on."

Cope's heart always broke when Jude talked like that, but if he were being honest with himself, he'd gone through the same thing. "My mother loved me but was always busy with her magic and her sisters. As I got older, I spent more time alone. My father wanted me to be his little carbon copy, and when I refused, he washed his hands of me."

"We'll never do that to Wolf or Lizzy B." Jude grinned. "Our kids will have our blessing to be anything they want to be. Unless it's an accountant. There's no one more boring than that."

Laughing, Cope got to his feet. "Agreed. Now, let's go get some ice cream before Wolf and Eagle eat all the toppings."

Jude joined him. "You did good today."

"So did you," Cope said. "You didn't roll your eyes once when Eagle told the story about the great flood.

"What can I say, I'm growing." Jude laughed at himself.

"I'm serious."

"So am I. When Eagle stayed with us at Christmas, I decided to listen to him without the filter of my childhood coloring his words. It is important that Wolf learn our culture and our ways, especially without my bias. If I react badly or roll my eyes, he will too. Wolf deserves to make his own decisions about our culture, same as he would about the kind of job he wants or who he dates and marries."

"Damn," Cope said with a grin. "You really have grown."

"It's all because of you. Thanks to your love, I have a safe place to explore my feelings and my childhood memories. You were the one who got me to speak to my mother when her spirit came to visit. Without you, I never would have listened to a word she said. Talking to her made me feel whole again. All of the hate in my heart turned to love. I don't think you understand the power of your love, both as a husband and a father."

Jude had a point. "When Eagle was talking about Jacob and Sue, I wondered if Wolf thought he would have had a better life with them instead of me."

"I know you were."

"You weren't. You never think like that." There were so many times when Cope wished he could be more like his husband, less emotional and full of confidence.

"I don't," Jude agreed with a cheeky grin. "I know I'm a damn good father. I know you are too. What happened to Jacob and Sue was tragic. No child should grow up as an orphan. Wolf became our son the second I held him in my arms. I promised him I would do everything in my power to keep him safe and to give him the kind of life he deserved. I've been too busy over the last five years raising our son to worry about if someone else would have been a better father. We both have."

Cope nodded. "You're right. I don't know why I was so worried to have this discussion or why it hurt when Wolf asked to have a picture of his parents in his room."

"You're worried about losing him, but I'm here to tell you that will never happen. Same with Lizbet. These are our kids, and we are their parents. End of story."

"End of story," Cope agreed. "I'm starving. Let's go grab some ice cream."

Jude took Cope's hand, pressing a kiss to his palm.

As they walked toward the food pavilion, Cope heard Wolf's laugh rise above the chorus of other voices. He whispered a prayer for Jacob and Sue and thanked them for trusting himself and Jude with their precious child.