Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

HIRO

After making dinner, the three of us relocate to the living room to catch each other up on what’s been happening.

“You still have no idea who’s after you?” Maddox asks.

“Nope. But coming here seems to have cancelled their ability to kill me off. Must be someone too poor to follow,” he decides.

“Or unable to follow for a different reason,” Maddox says.

“Or,” I suggest, “they’re waiting for you to return.”

“Maybe they saw me trip over that pigeon and went, ‘You know what? He seems like a rather nice guy. I’ll let him live,’” Shion decides.

Maddox cocks his head as he thinks about that. “I’m kind of surprised you’re still alive with your outlook on everything.”

Shion considers that jab for a bit. “I’m unsure whether I should be offended or not.”

Maddox simply shrugs.

Shion turns to me. “So the first time you saw this huge collection of ghosts was on the airplane, right?”

“It was. They weren’t fixated on a single person like they are right now, though.”

“Is it safe to assume they’re all people who died because of something to do with this?” Shion asks. “Would that make sense?”

“Well, ghosts are intrigued by death. If someone is about to die, they rush to them. But this is very different. These ghosts are… fixated to the point where they won’t even interact with or talk to me. It’s like they all know something but can only think of one thing. The moment Maddox opened that email, they knew it was bad, so it does make me think all of them have been killed by similar means or at the very least are knowledgeable about it. But what makes them so different from all of the other ghosts I’ve come across is that they stay in that state of fixation constantly. Ghosts are generally only in that state either when they first die, or when something triggers them about their death. Whereas these ones… are like… constantly caught up in that state of mind. I can’t communicate with them or interact with them at all.”

Maddox nods. “Which leads me to believe they’d all been impacted by the same thing. So we suspect there’s between twenty to thirty people who have died because of this.”

“Since we’ve already seen two cases involving it, it’s clear that they were not all killed by the same person,” Shion states.

“We’re thinking the connection is not with the killer but with the person messaging those who have been sent out to kill,” Maddox says. “It makes sense that a vulnerable person would be open to listening to someone and could be pushed into doing something that they would never dream of doing on their own. The person behind this could be going through the posts on this forum and looking for people who aren’t responding well to encouragement. They could be grooming them and making it seem reasonable for them to attack whoever is causing them harm. This person could be feeding into their insecurities and their pain and suffering to make it sound like this is the only way out.”

“It would also make sense why those who have been groomed want to protect the person they’ve been interacting with,” Shion says. “This person would almost be like a savior to them. He or she is ‘helping’ them. So the victims don’t see the issues.”

“It’s easy to latch on to a single voice when they say all the right things,” Maddox agrees. “Back when we were teens, my brother Ben got involved in stupid shit because our parents were so toxic. He ended up friends with this guy who seemed to have all the answers that he needed… but in the form of drugs. I’ve seen firsthand how vulnerable people latch on to things that sound or feel right.”

It makes me wonder again what kind of upbringing Maddox and Ben had.

“If you received a message sent to your email, then do you believe the person knows who you are?” Shion asks.

“They have to,” I say. “I believe that’s why the ghosts are going after Maddox. It’s too much of a coincidence that we ended up involved in this as outsiders at first and now directly. I firmly believe the person behind this was at the subway station that night. That’s why the ghosts got quite upset. The person orchestrating this knows we were there.”

“There’s a chance they were at the park that night too. They sent that text. So they could have been present or at the very least knew what was going to happen,” Maddox adds.

“So… it might not even be someone I know who’s after my head,” Shion says.

“I would agree if it weren’t for the ghosts leaving you as you came over here,” I respond. “I feel like if this person has no qualms about dealing with Maddox over here, why did you leaving and joining us make them go away… I guess unless they don’t realize you’re here yet. Or they could be gone because something about their last attempt made them stop or draw back. I suppose if things change soon, we might have a better answer.”

“It depends on how closely they’re watching us,” Maddox says. “You could be anywhere in the world and figure out my email.”

“That’s true,” I agree as my headache rages on. I press my hand against my head, squeezing it in an attempt to relieve the pain. It’s really making it hard to focus and think. It’s such an absolute pain in my ass that it has to be like this. I suppose I can at least be thankful that it’s gotten better over the years as my ability has shifted and grown.

“Have you had any reaction at all to your posts?” Shion asks.

“Just standard reactions. People trying to help. Hiro’s been replying to them in different ways. On his post with kindness, and on my post, he makes it clear he doesn’t ‘understand.’ He’s been on there day and night trying to say something to get some reaction but still nothing.”

“I’ve made two more accounts and nothing,” I say. “But if they sent it to your email, they wanted a reaction out of you . So now that we’ve given them one, they refuse to respond? It makes no sense.”

“Maybe they’ve realized we’re onto them,” Maddox muses.

“But how? What would have changed between the email and today?” I ask.

“We went to the community center.”

“But the ghosts were already on you before that,” I say. “I mean, unless they have a way to watch us from inside the house, I’m not sure how else they’d know.” I take a deep breath as I try not to give away how badly my head hurts. “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you go sit away from me for a bit?” Maddox asks.

“What? Just want some alone time with Shion?” I tease.

Maddox gives me a look. “Shion looks half dead. I’m assuming he’s going to sleep.”

Shion gives us a half-dead nod in confirmation. “I could sleep right here at this moment. Aw, look, a cat. Maybe a cat can revitalize me.” He seems quite excited but the second he stands up to greet her, Stella gives him a look of disgust and scurries off.

“That’s how most people act when I stop to talk to them,” he says, making me laugh.

“Bandit’s around here somewhere. He’ll love you,” I assure him as I head into the bedroom where the cat had been so deeply asleep that he’d clearly never heard us get home. He’s thrilled to see me, like he couldn’t have seen me for the past two hours we’ve been in the house. I grab him and hand him off to Shion, who finds a feather toy the cat loves to chase. While he’s playing with Bandit, I get the spare bedroom ready for him. We don’t have guests often, but the bed’s made up for when my niece Libby or Maddox’s nephew Jonah stay over, so it isn’t hard to make sure everything’s ready.

Once that’s all set, Shion gives Bandit a final pet and heads off. I turn to Maddox who still seems quite awake, even if I’m wanting to go crawl in a dark room somewhere.

“What if you go in the bedroom and just read a book for a bit and I’ll stay out here?” Maddox asks.

But the very idea of that sends anxiety swirling through me. What if every minute with Maddox could be my last? And I chose to go sit in my bedroom instead of spending every second with him? Just because of a headache?

“No, that’s okay,” I say.

Maddox gives me a look. “Hon, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know that,” I answer quietly.

His expression softens as he comes over to me, and I want to curse these goddamn ghosts. But it’s sure as fuck not their fault. Hell, they could be helping me. They could be saving his life. I would never have guessed someone was after him if it weren’t for them.

“Hiro, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“You can’t promise. Do you not remember fucking dying ?” I ask. “Because I sure do… I have dreams about it… I think about what would have happened if they hadn’t gotten there in time. I think about how the second you had a bad feeling, I should have run with you back to the car. I think about how if we hadn’t followed that fucking ghost because of my suggestion, you would never have gotten hurt. And then I think about how fucking easy it was to be happily living with my mom and dad one day and the next having to crawl through that destroyed car with their… blood everywhere. With their bodies in the front seats and their ghosts next to me.

“Just like that, they were gone, and I was alone. And then Sean died… and I’m fucking surrounded by death, Maddox. And now…” I wave toward the ghosts surrounding him. “You don’t understand how scared I am.”

Maddox looks pained that I feel so upset. I don’t want him to feel like it’s his fault. I just… I want him to be safe.

“I’m so sorry, Hiro. I understand how hard that has to be. I wish I could fix it all for you, so you never have to feel that pain again.”

“I’m not… I know… I’m aware that’s not… how things work. I just… I can’t lose you.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he promises as he squeezes me in tight and kisses me sweetly. “I’m right here. I love you so much, Hiro. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get married and we’re going to grow old together.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just… having anxiety,” I say.

“I don’t blame you.”

“How are you so confident about all of this? How are you not as terrified as I am?” I ask, unsure why he’s acting like it’s nothing.

“Maybe I’m just that damn confident in our abilities that I think we’ll be okay. Or maybe I’m pretending that everything is perfectly fine in the hopes it makes you feel better. Do you want to watch TV or read?”

“I’ll do whatever you want,” I say.

“Why don’t we just go to bed early and read? I think doing something quiet will help your head,” he suggests.

“Okay,” I say as I head back to the bedroom. We get ready for the night before crawling into bed hours earlier than we generally would.

“You sure you don’t want me to sleep elsewhere?” Maddox asks.

“Yes, positive.”

“Okay. But I want you to be able to sleep.”

“I will,” I say as I tuck myself against him. He pulls me close, and while it’s not the most comfortable position to read in, being flush against him makes it my favorite position. The issue is that my head is pounding, so every line I try to read in my book, I find myself struggling to comprehend what is being said.

I close my eyes, but every time I start to drift off, I lose my concentration on the ghosts and get jostled back awake.

“Where are you at?” Maddox asks.

“Hmm?”

“In your book, where are you at?”

I show him and he begins to read. For someone who doesn’t read much, he’s quite good at it, rarely fumbling, and I find myself loving every second of it. It soothes my aching mind as I listen intently, finally able to forget a bit of what’s going on around me if I keep my eyes closed. “Make the love interest more rumbly.”

“Oh, making requests now?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Fine, fine,” he says, making his voice deeper.

“Ooh, and that guy there is definitely the villain. I figured that out like a hundred pages ago. Make him squeaky.”

“You want me to just get you the audiobook?”

My eyes snap open at that horrible idea. “No! I love your voice. I love this. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I close my eyes and listen. After a while, he seems to think I’m asleep because he shuts the book and turns the light off. I’m exhausted, but every time I start to drift, one of the ghosts slams into me. I’m caught in this delirious state of my head hurting horribly, fear over what could happen to Maddox, and feeling like I just want to cry.

Learning how easy it is to lose someone fucks with you, and being surrounded by the dead doesn’t help.

My head hurts so much that even though I don’t want to pull away from Maddox, I have to drag myself away before the pain makes me nauseous enough that I’m forced far from him. I take my pillow with me and carry it over to the door. I can’t get myself to leave, so I park myself in front of the door so I can still see him from where I lie. I lay my pillow down and curl up on the floor as I stare at the bed in a likely unhealthy fixation.

My head feels a fraction of relief when I drop my hold on the ghosts, but I feel even closer to the brink without him next to me. I’m stuck there, just imagining what it’d be like to never have him next to me again.

“We’re watching the shit out of him,” Keaton says as he slumps down to his butt next to me. “Reggie and Natalie are prowling around the exterior. They’ve enlisted people they claim are their friends. I’m positive the others came to help because you’ve helped them or their loved ones, and it has nothing to do with Natalie or Reggie. There is absolutely no one who’s going to be able to get into this house unless the killer is Nakamura, and you let him in through the front door. Even if someone tried busting in, you clearly have that fixed by sleeping against the door instead of going to sleep on the couch or somewhere comfortable.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

He leans against the wall. “I owe you so much, Hiro, you don’t ever need to thank me.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I see these lost souls just… stuck in despair with nothing left for them… and I realize that if you hadn’t found me, if you hadn’t dragged me after you… that would have been me. You’ve helped every single one of us. So rely on us, alright? Go to sleep before you make yourself sick.”

“It might already be too late,” I say, but I close my eyes. The problem is that my headache is so bad that I can’t think of anything other than it. But after some time, I finally sink into sleep.