2

Cope

The party was well underway. The kids were splashing each other in the paddling pool, and Cope couldn't help thinking how much fun it would be to have an inground swimming pool like Fitzgibbon. Jude, Ronan, and Fitz were standing together laughing at a story Ronan was telling, while Ten and Jace sat together at the large table, undoubtedly enjoying the calm before the storm.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" Jude clapped his hands together as he called out. "I have a big announcement."

"What's going on?" Ten asked Cope. "Are you two adopting another baby?"

Cope grinned at his friend. "No. Our family is complete. This is something else entirely." That was the understatement of the year.

"Should I be worried?" Ten looked as if he already was.

"You know, I'm still not sure myself." Cope sized up his friend. Ten didn't seem like the type to gobble watermelon competitively, but stranger things had happened.

"Last year, Ronan outdid himself, bringing a pony to the party, so I decided to take that a step further." Jude's grin widened as he spoke.

"Did you get a unicorn, Uncle Jude?" Aurora asked while bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"A unicorn!" Everly screamed. "I can't believe it. All my dreams are coming true!" She jumped around with Aurora. Lizbet joined them, landing on her bottom after two jumps.

"No, wait. That's not what I meant." Jude shot Cope a helpless look.

"You dug your own hole. Time to dig yourself out." Cope bit his lip to keep from laughing. If there was something he could do to dig his husband out of the hole he created, Cope wouldn't hesitate, but for the moment, he couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next.

Jude held his hands up. "Hold on, girls. You're not getting a unicorn."

"What?" Aurora folded her arms over her chest. She looked as if she were seconds away from melting down completely.

"We're having a contest," Jude said.

"And the winner gets the unicorn?" Everly asked. She patted Aurora's shoulder.

"No, the winner gets a trophy," Jude said lamely.

Ronan stepped up to Jude and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Let's all put our listening ears on." He made a motion as if he were putting on headphones.

"Thanks," Jude whispered. "We're going to have a watermelon-eating contest, and there are trophies for the winner of each division."

"Okay, let me get this straight," Everly began. "We're not getting a unicorn. Instead, we're gonna eat until we barf?" She shivered in the warm sun. "Great plan, Uncle Jude."

Ronan barked a laugh from behind Jude.

"Gee, I wonder where your lovely daughter gets her sarcasm from." Jude rolled his eyes. "In the Detective Division, there's Ronan, Fitz, and myself. Jace, Ten, and Cope will be competing in the Philanthropist Psychic Division, and lastly, Wolf, Aurora, and Everly in the Kid Division."

Groans sounded all through the party.

Cope felt bad for Jude. He'd done his best to outshine Ronan but was falling far short. "It's going to be fun. I promise. I'm obviously going to win, so the rest of you can suck it!"

"Yeah, suck it!" Wolf shouted. "I'm gonna win too. My daddy says I eat like a bottomless shit!"

"Uh, that's pit. Bottomless pit ," Jude said, but no one seemed to be listening. Instead, they were shouting the reasons they were going to win.

Cope grinned at Jude from across the yard. It seemed that he'd gotten everyone's competitive juices flowing, which he knew was what Jude had in mind to do, until his speech was shot down by the nonexistent unicorn.

"Is this like the hot dog contest?" Ronan asked.

"Similar rules," Jude agreed. "The adult divisions will last five minutes each, while the kids will have only two minutes. The person who eats the most pieces wins. All of the red flesh has to be gone from the rind for it to count as eaten."

After Jude showed Cope the hot dog contest video, he'd watched several others on his own. The other big rule was that you couldn't throw up during the contest. He'd seen several videos with contestants spewing like Mount Vesuvius and hoped that wouldn't happen here. Maybe he should grab some kind of a barf bucket, just in case.

"The Detective Division is up first." Jude ducked into the house. When he came back a moment later, he was carrying a large Tupperware container with sliced watermelon pieces cut into wedges, like a pizza. On top of the lid was something red and white checked.

Jude set the melon on the table and handed out plastic bibs to Ronan and Fitz. He kept one for himself and tied it around his neck. "Everyone, grab your first piece. When we're ready to go, Cope will set the timer for five minutes."

"I'll record it," Jace volunteered as Ten snapped pictures with his phone.

Cope grabbed his phone and set it for the correct amount of time. His eyes wandered over the three contestants. Fitz looked like he thought this was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard of. Ronan wore a cocky look. He obviously thought he was going to win. Jude, on the other hand, looked nervous. "Is everyone ready?"

All three contestants flashed a thumbs-up.

"On your mark. Get set. Go !" Cope hit the button to start the countdown. He whispered a little prayer that Jude would be victorious.

Each of the men grabbed their first slice of watermelon. Ronan gobbled his in two bites while Jude took three. Fitz, upon seeing the competition was real, picked up his pace, taking huge bites.

Jude and Ronan reached for their second slice at the same time. Both had juice running down their chins and onto their bibs. Jude practically inhaled his piece, taking bites but not swallowing until his mouth was full. He reached for slice number three before Fitz and Ronan finished their second.

"Two minutes to go!" Cope called.

Jude sped up with Cope's announcement.

Cope counted five slices in front of Jude, while the others had only three. Ronan seemed to be tiring, and Fitzgibbon's bites had gotten smaller. Jude, however, was eating like a man possessed, as if this were his final meal before a date with the electric chair. Or worse, like his life depended on his victory.

"Ten seconds!" Cope called out. "Nine! Eight! Seven!" The others joined in the countdown. "Three! Two! One! Melons down!" Cope breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone was still breathing on their own. "Jace, count the rinds."

Jace stood behind each man, counting each contestant's tally. "In third place is Fitzy, with four slices." Jace applauded for his husband, and Aurora gave a mildly annoyed golf clap.

"In second place is Ronan with seven!"

"Rats!" Everly shouted, sounding as if she'd had money riding on the outcome.

"And the winner, with an astounding twelve pieces of watermelon, is Juicy Jude!" Jace slapped his back. "Congrats, man!"

"I won?" Jude's eyes widened. He started singing a warbling rendition of Queen's "We Are The Champions." None of the other participants joined him.

Jude scooped Cope into his arms. His juice-stained face splatted against Cope. "Jace was right. You are Juicy Jude!"

"Christ, I'm stuck with that, huh?" Jude laughed, looking like it was a moniker he'd wear with pride.

"I'm afraid so," Cope agreed.

"We'll do the Philanthropist Psychic Division next! Contestants, get ready!" Jude rushed back to the table and cleared away the evidence of his victory.

While Jude cleaned up, Cope gathered Ten and Jace for an impromptu PP meeting. "Okay, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen with my own eyes."

Ten and Jace laughed. "It was worse than the day Everly accidentally tried spicy mustard and practically exploded. We had to throw away her pajamas." His nose wrinkled at the memory.

That was a little TMI for Cope, but he knew what Ten was saying. "I've got a plan." He gathered the others closer and whispered what he thought they should do.

"Okay, Psychic Philanthropists, take your places!" Jude shouted.

Cope couldn't help but admit his husband was born for this. It was as if he'd been a carnival barker in another lifetime. He took his seat, the same one Jude had occupied, offhandedly wishing it would bring him a victory as well.

"Contestants, grab your first slice," Jude said.

Again, Cope obeyed. He saw that Jace and Ten were ready to go. He winked at them. Butterflies flitted around Cope's gut, which was ridiculous. It was only a backyard watermelon-eating contest, not the Olympics. Although, knowing Jude, if there was such a thing, he would have entered himself already.

"On your mark. Get set. Go !" Jude cried, with Ronan tapping his phone, presumably to start the countdown.

Each man reached for their melon and took a bite. A regular-sized bite. Not the pterodactyl bites the others had taken. Cope chewed slowly, swallowed, and took another bite.

"What the hell is this?" Jude said.

Ronan snorted. "Not fair, guys."

"You run your race your way. I'll run my race my way," Ten said with a giggle.

Each of the three contestants reached for their second piece of melon at the same time. Ditto for the third piece a minute later. They kept pace with each other for the first four minutes of the race.

"One minute to go!" Ronan called.

Cope watched his friends carefully. Each of them was sticking to the plan. Jude didn't have three trophies for each of the psychic philanthropists, but Cope didn't mind. He'd beaten his husband at his own game.

Jace reached for his next slice of melon and inhaled it, much like Jude had done in the first round. He grabbed another and did the same, then a third.

"What the actual fuck?" Cope asked Ten, who was too busy laughing to answer.

It seemed that there was a bit of competition in Jace after all. He was three slices ahead of Cope, who decided he needed to catch up. He dove into his next slice and was grabbing the next one when Ronan shouted there were ten seconds remaining.

Cope turned on the gas, barely chewing and swallowing as fast as he could. Jude had been right: the melon was mostly water anyway.

"Three! Two! One!" Ronan shouted. "That's it. Melons down."

"Traitor!" Cope accused Jace.

"Me?" Jace set his hand on his chest. "You were the one getting ready to stuff your face. I saw the look in your eyes and decided to fight fire with, er, watermelon."

"In third place is Ten with four slices." Ronan patted his husband's shoulder in a you'll-get-'em-next-time gesture. "Second is Cope with an impressive eight slices. Which means the winner, with an incredible eleven slices, is Jace!"

Cope crossed his arms over his chest. "How the hell did you pull that off?"

"We used to do this back at Harvard," Jace said proudly.

"You had watermelon-eating contests at the most exclusive college in the United States?" Cope asked. It was hard to believe kids at that school would act like something out of Animal House .

"Yup! Only we shot the melons full of vodka before we ate them on silver platters with our pinkies in the air." Jace held his hands over his head, shaking them like a boxer.

Cope laughed. It was hard to picture straight-laced Jace cramming his face full of spiked watermelon.

"Stand by for the highly anticipated Kid Division!" Jude grabbed three plastic bibs and handed them out to Everly, Aurora, and lastly, Wolf. Cope watched while Jude knelt in front of their son and seemed to be giving him pointers. Ronan and Fitz quickly joined in with their kids.

"Eye of the tiger, Wolfie." Jude pointed to his eyes and back to his son's.

Wolf's usual smile fell from his face. Left in its place was a serious look Cope didn't often see. The more mature version of Wolf usually came out when someone was unkind to his friends or when someone suggested the little boy couldn't do something or another.

"Contestants, take your places!" Jude called, heading for Cope. He slung his arm around his husband. "Wolf's gonna kick ass and take names."

"How do you figure that?" Cope asked, curious to hear Jude's thought process.

"Well, Aurora won't want to get dirty. Everly will take ladylike bites. Wolfie eats like a rabid wolverine on his slowest days. He's the absolute favorite."

Cope had to admit Jude's logic was sound. He noticed the upset look on Aurora's face when Fitzgibbon helped her onto her seat. Jude had nailed her weakness perfectly. Everly had her game face on. She reminded Cope so much of Ronan when he was in the middle of a case and was determined to solve it at all costs. But even with Everly's head in the game, there was no way Wolf wasn't going to win. He was about to ask if any of the other parents wanted to place a bet on the winner when Fitzgibbon did something that completely changed the odds.

The former cold case captain pulled a pair of gloves out of his back pocket and helped Aurora put them on. The gloves had made a world of difference for the little girl who didn't like to get dirty. With her gloves, Aurora could dig in the dirt to garden, eat s'mores to her heart's content, and now, apparently, compete in the watermelon-eating contest.

"Oh, shit," Jude muttered under his breath. "I thought Aurora was going to be the weakest link, but now she looks pissed off."

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have promised her a unicorn." Cope snorted and pulled out his phone.

"Et tu, Cope?" Jude asked, quoting Shakespeare. He snarled his top lip like Billy Idol and headed toward the table. "Ronan, will you keep time?"

"You got it." Ronan tapped his screen and turned his attention to Everly. "Good luck, little miss! You're gonna win."

"I'm here to slay all day!" Everly shot a triumphant smile at Jude, as if she were coming for him once she polished off her competition.

Fitzgibbon pulled out his phone and started recording.

"On your mark. Get set. Go !" Jude cried with Ronan tapping his phone, starting the countdown.

Wolf was a machine, munching bite after bite. In between slices, he growled like a junkyard dog, but neither of the girls paid him any attention. Everly tore into each slice like a great white shark, single-minded in her purpose to emerge victorious. Aurora, seemingly emboldened by her gloves and dry hands, chomped her watermelon like a piranha. Her small, white teeth gave no mercy.

"One minute to go!" Ronan shouted. "They're neck and neck," he whispered to Jude.

Cope didn't quite see it that way. Everly wore a determined look on her face. She might have eaten the same number of slices as Wolf and Aurora, but she was hungrier for the win, which would push her over the top. If Cope had learned anything from his headstrong niece, it was to never count her out.

"Three! Two! One!" Ronan shouted. "That's it. Melons down."

"Phew!" Wolf sighed. "I couldn't eat another bite." He patted his belly and let out a burp that echoed through the yard. Aurora did the same, but not Everly—she sat quietly with her eyes on Jude. If looks could kill, Jude would be six feet under.

"Here are the results," Fitz said. "With five slices, we have Aurora! Next, with seven slices, is Wolfie! And our winner with nine slices is Everly! Congrats, kids! Great job!"

Everyone cheered for the kids with the exception of Everly. She sat stone-faced, looking at Jude.

"Are you okay, honey?" Jude asked her. "Do you need me to grab a bucket for you?"

"No, Uncle Jude. I'd like the unicorn you didn't deliver." She offered him an icy smile. "No, make that two unicorns. Pink for me. Purple for Aurora. You have two days." With a yank, Everly pulled off her bib and headed inside the house. Aurora and Wolf were hot on her heels.

"How do you like that?" Jude asked. "You try to do something fun and end up getting extorted by a pint-sized godfather."

"I wouldn't cross her if I were you," Ronan said, shaking his head. "One word of advice: bigger is better."

Jude opened his mouth, looking as if he had a comeback for Ronan, but didn't say a word. He simply nodded.

"Looks like we're going to the toy store tomorrow." Jude slung an arm around his husband.

"What's this we? Have you got a mouse in your pocket?" Cope laughed at the very confused look on his husband's face. "Bring Wolf along too. Stop for ice cream on the way home. Make an afternoon of it."

Jude grumbled at Cope's suggestions. He knew Jude would do that exact thing, which would give Cope time to plot his revenge.