8. Serenity

“Iknow theres been a lot of talk about us not making it to the Super Bowl this year,” Gareth said, a raised glass of champagne in his hand as he stood next to our table in the restaurant, looking over the room filled with members from his Cougars team.

“But I’m proud of you all. You busted your asses all year, at each game, at each practice. And you’ve only gotten better and better. You played hard. You fought hard. To me, that’s a win. The difference between us and the Super Bowl was one game. I cant think of a single play that caused us to lose. I’m damn proud of the season weve had.”

Applause erupted in the restaurant Gareth rented out for the night. The Cougars had been incredibly close to making it into the Super Bowl, and I thought it was an uplifting speech hed given, especially when I’d overheard several of the players blaming themselves.

Gareth nodded, sipping his champagne before reclaiming his seat to my left. Our table was surrounded by his closest friends, including Asher and Daisy, Weston and Brynn, as well as a new couple I’d just met, Hendricks and Savannah. It was wonderful to meet people outside of the poker game who were friends with Gareth—Hendrix being the Cougars star wide receiver, and his lovely counterpart, Savannah, who happened work for Ethan, had immediately acted as if we were the oldest of friends in the world. It was as jarring as it was thrilling, seeing as how this was my first public outing with Gareth that had nothing to do with shopping. Even more shocking was the ease in which Weston, Asher, and their wives had accepted the news about us. Gareth had talked to the guys shortly after new year’s eve, but seeing the support in person meant so much to me.

After dinner, which was absolutely delicious, Gareth, Asher, and Weston headed off to work the crowds, Gareth ensuring that he spoke to every player who was in attendance. He was quite marvelous to watch, looking like the human version of temptation itself, dressed in an all-black suit that only complemented his dark hair and pale green eyes.

Wed been in Charleston for a week, and Id been sleeping in Gareth’s bed since the first night we arrived.

He hadn’t touched me since that first night, either. It’s not like Id asked him to, though.

I wanted to, especially after what he’d done to me. He’d blown my mind in ways I didnt know were possible. And now that I’d gotten a taste, it was practically all I could think about. If this was the way things were in relationships, I dont know how any of these women got anything else done.

But I was tired of asking, tired of begging. There was only so much rejection I could take, even when I knew it had nothing to do with attraction or physical chemistry. Wed already proven we had truckloads of that.

Gareth’s refusal to take things further between us came down to some misplaced honor in protecting me, and quite honestly, I was just…so tired. I may crave him like I craved my next bite of mint chocolate chip ice cream, but there were only so many times I could be told no before I gave up.

“So, Serenity,” Savannah said, smiling at me mischievously. “Now that its just us girls, do you mind if I ask you a blunt question?”

Brynn and Daisy giggled, but my eyes widened.

Was she going to ask why I married Gareth on such short notice?

Was she going to judge me about it?

“Sure, go ahead,” I finally said, resolving myself to fully dive into the new social freedoms I’d been afforded.

Her smile deepened. “How is it climbing that tree?” she asked, motioning across the room to where Gareth, Asher, and Weston spoke with some players. “Dont get me wrong, I love my tree.” She waved a hand to where Hendrix was waiting at the bar for more drinks. “But Im just curious about your tree.”

The question had me laughing with relief. Was this how easy girl gossip could be?

I took a deep breath, sighing almost nostalgically as my mind cast back to our first night here. To the way Gareth had handled me, had extracted every exquisite ounce of pleasure from my body possible and yet somehow still hung on to his determination to not sleep with me.

“Hes a fantastic tree,” I said, and our table erupted into a fit of giggles that were so infectious and freeing.

“I’m so happy that you two were able to stop dancing around each other,” Brynn said, and Daisy nodded her agreement. “We called it two years ago.”

My lips parted open, a little shock fluttering through me. I honestly hadnt been sure what exactly Gareth told his friends, and subsequently their wives, but it seemed they were under the impression that this had been by choice.

And that was probably just as well, especially with the stakes revolving around our marriage. The less people knew, the more protected they would be. Thats another reason, despite being forbidden from making friends outside of our contacts, that I’d kept myself mostly closed off whenever the girls approached me during the billionaire’s game. Sure, we’d exchanged some kind words, and I listened to their gossip with rapt attention, but I never gave up anything of my own.

Because I couldnt.

Because I knew that with the life I lived, bringing civilians into it was a dangerous game.

At least I could be completely transparent with Gareth. Hed been in the game longer than I had.

“I like it,” Savannah said. “It looks like youre perfect for him. Ive seen him smile at least three times tonight, and thats three times more than normal.”

I laughed softly, my eyes tracking Gareth across the room. He turned and looked at me, like he could feel me watching him. I didnt dare break my stare, instead offering him what I hoped was seductive smile to let him know exactly what we were talking about. I may not want to keep asking him for that kind of attention, but it didnt stop me from flirting occasionally.

“Hes not as scary as he looks,” I said, taking a sip from my drink and finally returning my attention to the girls.

Daisy and Brynn begged to differ, but Savannah agreed with me.

“Sometimes the scariest-looking ones are always the biggest pushovers,” Savannah said.

“Whos the pushover?” Gareth asked, suddenly at my side and looking down at me.

“Apparently, you are,” I said, feeling as confident as I ever had before.

Maybe I was getting used to this sort of lifestyle. The one where I could make my own choices, whether that be food or clothes or entertainment, or even passion projects. Not that Id landed on one yet, but Gareth told me that if there was something I wanted to do, all I needed was say it. Of course, the one thing I really wanted to do was the one thing he constantly denied me.

Pushover, my ass.

Gareth grunted at that, then smoothed his hand over the exposed skin on my back, the cream-colored dress I wore dipping low. The touch was familiar and welcome and it always gave me so much hope. He was affectionate in public, barely even allowing me to be out of his sight for more than a few minutes at a time. And while I could chalk that up to his protectiveness, there was more to it. I would go as far to say a steady friendship had built between us. Our nights were spent talking and laughing, watching reality shows that made me cringe, or shopping online together just because we could.

And yet every time we went to bed, he’d give me a chaste kiss on the forehead before firmly turning over and falling asleep.

At least I slept easier in his bed. Something about his presence kept the nightmares away.

After the event finally wound to a close, I said goodbye to my friends, happy to have that settled feeling in my heart knowing the girls genuinely were my friends now.

“Did you have a good time?” Gareth asked me on the ride home.

I smiled at him from where I sat in the passenger seat of his car. I really loved Charleston’s version of Gareth. He was more at ease here, not using a driver or hiring staff for his home. He was less ready to jump in front of a bullet at a moment’s notice here, and when we went home, it was just the two of us.

“I really did,” I said. “I gave the girls my new phone number. Im going to have texting friends now.” I bit my lip. “What if I don’t text the right way? What should be my first text to the group chat?”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t text them like we have before,” Gareth chuckled as he turned into the drive of his Charleston home. “Unless you plan to contend with Hendrix, Asher, and Wes.”

I laughed at the joke. He so rarely made them.

“Most people start with hi,” he continued.

“You dont think I should open with a story? Something interesting?” I asked as I got out of the car and we headed into the house.

“You could do that,” he said. “Whatever you decide will be great. They all love you.”

His words made my heart expand.

“This is all so new to me,” I admitted. “Im worried about making a mistake. I’ve never had real friends before. I don’t want to push them away.”

“You wont make a mistake. They’re good people. They dont know everything about your background, but they know enough. They’re not going to abandon you.”

I nodded, lingering outside the hallway that led to Gareth’s room. He’d seen right through my panic, understanding the worry immediately.

Everyone in my life had abandoned me in one way or another. My mother, even though she lived with me. My father, even though he spent almost every waking hour dictating me. My cousins, never once offering help when they witnessed the abuse. My supposed friends, children of allying families, who kept me at a distance because of my father’s historical rage.

I chewed on my lip, trying to push those thoughts away. Daisy, Brynn, and Savannah weren’t like that.

I was more than ready to get out of this dress, and I was almost feeling confident enough to ask for help?—

“I have to catch up on some work,” Gareth said, shutting down the thought immediately. “What are you going to do?”

“First thing Im going to do is get out of this dress,” I said. “Then Im thinking TV in bed.”

“What a rebellious angel,” he teased.

Gareth leaned closer to me, giving me another one of those soft forehead kisses. They were nice, but not exactly what I needed. “Dont wait up,” he said before heading toward his office.

I stood outside his door for a little too long, contemplating stomping after him and making him see me.

See me like he had that night a week ago. Like a flesh-and-blood woman instead of a delicate piece of glass he needed to protect. See me like he had when he’d texted me that night, guiding me straight into an orgasm, making me realize I truly had everything I needed to get myself off.

But I really did want to get out of this dress, and after so many nights of sleeping together without being touched, I was starting to believe that he didnt want anything more.

He’d certainly been fine after it, and it didnt seem to bother him much in the days since. Maybe it was only as world-shattering to me because Id never experienced that before.

I contemplated that while changing into PJs and climbing into his giant bed. I turned on the TV, but after trying and failing to find a show that would distract me, I finally shut it off, and shifted lower in his bed. I shut my eyes, but sleep evaded me, my mind whirling with red-hot thoughts I couldn’t shake.

Gareth’s lips.

His teeth grazing my breast, marking me enough to show. The jolt of pleasure that rippled down my spine at the primal claiming.

Goodness, I couldn’t get him out of my head. Couldn’t get the ache to relax between my thighs.

I tossed and turned, finally kicking the covers off because my skin was too hot, too tight, too something. A throb pulsed between my thighs, a silent urging to be stroked, soothed.

Blowing out a breath, I glanced at the closed door. I hadn’t heard a whisper from the other side, Gareth clearly engrossed in his work across the house.

I was alone.

I could…explore. Attempt to ease this incessant need. To recreate what Gareth had so easily unleashed in me.

The moment the idea took shape in my mind, anticipation sparked in my veins.

I closed my eyes, trailing my hand over my breasts, pretending my fingers were his. I moved them lower, beneath my silk shorts, doing everything he’d instructed in those texts before.

Gareth’s scent surrounded me, only enhancing the fantasy as I imagined him above me, his massive frame settling between my legs as he kissed me. As he slowly inched himself inside me.

Every touch, every stroke, I felt him. Pictured him. I worked myself up in a way I never had before. I was consumed by thoughts of him and used every visual I’d treasured since we took our vows to push me closer to that edge.

The one I was desperate for him to fall over with me.