10. Serenity

Sleep clung to me like a heavy, comforting blanket. I awoke slowly, sitting up in bed while still feeling like everything was a dream.

I held the sheet around me, blinking the exhaustion away and glancing around.

I was naked, and the bed was empty.

A knot formed in my throat.

Memories from last night flashed through my mind, desire fluttering through me. Gareth…we’d…slept together.

He’d been so perfect, like he’d been studying my body for years instead of weeks.

That man…God, he’d shaken me to the very fibers of my being. There was no getting better than that. I knew that without having been with anyone else. We fit together. And not just on a sexual level—even though a pleasant soreness throbbed between my thighs—but on a personality level too. We made each other laugh, which I hadn’t known was possible with how stern hed usually been in the poker games. And I could sit in silence with him, without ever worrying about having to fill it. He made me feel like a worthy person instead of a piece of property.

I bit back my smile, hope filling me so fast it almost hurt.

And then it did hurt as reality crashed down on top of me.

I’d gotten what I wanted.

I’d worn him down with my requests to take my virginity. To wipe away the one thing that made me valuable to my family and to potential allies.

I wasn’t valuable anymore.

The one thing I’d been raised to covet and protect at all costs or risk shaming the family was now gone. Irrelevant.

My stomach sank, not because I felt ashamed about losing my virginity, but because now the favor I’d called in was done.

Gareth had no more reason to keep me here, to stay married to me. I was no longer in need of his protection because I would now be seen as worthless to the family.

Tears stung my eyes, and I jumped out of bed, throwing a robe on, angry with myself for getting so settled in Gareth’s life. I’d gotten so comfortable in the freedoms he’d offered me, the space he’d given me to start the healing process and find out who I was underneath all the bullshit my parents piled on me. I’d gotten attached to him in irreversible ways.

I’d let myself hope.

I’d let myself envision a future.

One that I damn well knew wasn’t within my grasp.

Silly, foolish, na?ve girl.

I shook my head at myself, my heart aching. This wasn’t Gareth’s fault. Of course, he wouldn’t have been there when I woke up. The favor was done. He’d held out as long as he could, which was more gentlemanly than I think he’d ever admit about himself, and then I broke him.

And in doing so, I’d sealed my fate.

He would send me packing now.

Well, I’d get started for him.

I would keep my head high and not show him how badly I didn’t want to leave.

Was it healthy to want to stay under the wing of safety and happiness he offered? I wasn’t sure. He kept saying I’d traded one monster for another—my family, a network of monsters who’d kept me cloistered and in the dark about so damn much, and my…Gareth. The broody prince of a rival family who’d made me feel more at home in my own skin than I ever had before.

That didn’t sound monstrous or toxic to me. That sounded a lot closer to…

No, I wouldn’t even think it.

I had no right to.

I couldn’t be angry with him. I’d put myself in this position, and I’d gotten exactly what I asked for.

I’d start my own life now. Somewhere. Somehow. I just had to figure out how to do that.

I grabbed my suitcase and laid it open on the bed, rapidly shoving clothes in it that I assumed he wouldn’t mind I took, even though he’d purchased them. God, as much as I appreciated him providing all the safety and luxuries he had, I hated that I had nothing of my own at the end of all this. No net to catch me as I fell.

Pity party for one? Yep.

I’d get a job somewhere. I had friends now, so maybe Savannah or Daisy could give me some advice? I could text them…no, call them and?—

“Where are we going?” Gareth’s voice sounded from the doorway.

I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t even heard him come in.

I quickly swiped the tears from my cheeks, willing myself to stand tall even though the sight of him literally made me want to crumble.

“I’m no longer an asset,” I said, shocked when my voice didn’t crack. “You’ve been nothing short of amazing by taking care of me, Gareth. No one can say you didn’t thoroughly carry out the favor I called in. So, thank you. Honestly, you saved my life. But I know you need to get back to living yours.” I blew out a breath, hurrying to zip my suitcase, giving my hands something to do. I hauled it off the bed, turning to face him. “I’ll see myself out.” I’d worry about changing out of the robe later. I couldn’t stand there a moment longer.

I felt like I was breaking myself into pieces, putting on this brave face. And how was that possible? I’d only officially been with Gareth a little over a month…but it felt like so much longer than that. It felt like…forever. Like I could live my days with him forever and still not get enough.

That was intense, I totally knew that. And maybe my future therapist would call me out on my almost too-dependent attachment to my would-be savior, but that was for future me to worry about.

Gareth stood like a statue, a muscle flexing in his jaw as he lingered in the doorway.

I swallowed hard, sucking in a sharp breath as I grabbed the suitcase and rolled it, walking toward him, willing him to move so I could leave.

He didn’t budge.

“Do you want to leave?” he asked, his voice the kind of cool calm that would scare most people.

“I’m no longer valuable?—”

“Do you want to leave, Serenity?” he asked, softer this time. “It’s a simple question, angel,” he continued when I struggled to spill the truth. “If leaving is what you truly want, then you know I’ll never stop you. I’m not some captor who will chain you to my bed…” He tilted his head back and forth, a darkness churning in his eyes that made a warm shiver dance down my spine. “Not that I haven’t thought about tying you up and marking more of that smooth skin of yours, but that’s beside the point.”

A gasp left my lips, and he stepped closer.

“If you want to leave,” he continued. “I’ll set you up in a place of your choosing, with security guards and cash and whatever else you need. If you need to distance yourself from me, I’ll respect that. People have kept you prisoner your entire life. I will not be one of them.”

My bottom lip trembled, but I held back the emotions storming inside me.

He read something on my face and reached out, cupping my cheeks as he looked down at me. “You are valuable,” he said. “You’re worth more than any alliance, any monetary value, any favor, or any deal. You have no idea the power you hold, Serenity.”

“I don’t want to cause you any more trouble,” I admitted. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

“Tell me something, Serenity,” he said. “Did you come to me only because you had my favor chip?”

I shook my head. “I could’ve gone to any room that night,” she said. “I could’ve asked Crossland to fly me somewhere safe. I could’ve asked Asher or Weston or Ethan. I know any one of them would’ve helped me get out of that hotel.”

“But you came to me. Why?”

“Because you’ve always seen me,” I answered. “You’ve always made me feel safe, even when I felt like I was drowning. The certainty that I’d see you at every game…it’s kept me going for far longer than you even realize.”

His pale green eyes guttered, and he smoothed the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. “I wasn’t lying to you,” he said, “when I told you that you’d traded one monster for another. I’ve worked hard to go legitimate, but you know I have a past. One I can’t guarantee won’t ever be an issue, but one I can guarantee means I don’t deserve you.” His eyes fell to my lips, then back up again. “But if you want to stay with me, then stay with me. Just know that you’ll never be rid of me if you make that choice. You’ve owned me for far longer than you know. If you choose me, I’m yours.” He dropped his hands from my face and took a step back, giving us space. “If you need time to think about that, I understand, and if there is ever a time in the future you decide you need to be on your own, I’ll make it happen?—”

“I don’t need time,” I said, heart racing. “I know what I want.”

He waited, studying me.

I let go of the suitcase, holding my hands out toward him while I shrugged.

“I don’t want to leave. Your past doesn’t scare me. Not being with you does,” I said.

Gareth spanned the distance between us in one stride, hauling me against his warm, hard body while he dipped his head down and captured my mouth with his.

I gasped, falling into the kiss with as much desperation and hunger as he gave. I clawed at him, emotions rising to the surface like a tidal wave. I needed him on a level I couldn’t quite fathom, but in that moment, I didn’t care to stop and try to understand.

I gripped his shirt, frantic and starved, ripping it open without regard to the buttons.

Gareth jerked out of the kiss, eyes falling to where his shirt was torn open for all of two seconds before he yanked the rest of it off.

My fingers were immediately on his skin, relishing the lines of ink covering his forearms and reaching up to his biceps, some of the art spreading over his muscled chest. I trailed them over his abdomen, marveling at every glorious inch of him in the early morning light. I reached his zipper, quickly undoing his pants and dropping to my knees to slide them down his thick thighs.

He helped step out of them, and I was already in such a position…

I trembled as I pulled at his boxer-briefs, his cock springing free in all its slightly intimidating size. I had no clue what I was doing, but I gripped him, stroking him while I looked up.

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” I whispered.

He tipped my chin up, shaking his head. “You couldn’t,” he said. “Ever. You’re?—”

I wrapped my lips around the thick head of his cock, swirling my tongue around in an exploratory way, moaning slightly at the feel of him in my mouth.

“Fuck, angel,” he groaned, his hands flying to my hair.

I took him in my mouth a little more, stretching wider to try to fit him all the way in. It was impossible, so I continued stroking his shaft and used my mouth to play with the tip.

“Goddamn,” he said, and I flicked my eyes up to him. “You look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth.”

I shivered at the words, at the praise, my body responding to everything about him. I flicked my tongue over the slit, and he thrust his hips, diving deeper. I whimpered, pleasure snapping through me at the dominating move.

I did it again, and he gave me the same reaction.

Heat pulsed in my core, my mind whirling with the pleasure building beneath my skin. He wasn’t even touching me, but I was…consumed by him. Devouring him. It felt powerful, just like he’d told me I was.

I liked it.

I gripped one of his thighs with my free hand, urging him to move in and out as he pleased.

He groaned, gently pulling out of my mouth. “You want me to fuck that pretty mouth of yours, angel?”

I nodded, licking my lips as I caught my breath.

“Open up.”

The demand sent a razor-sharp thrill of pleasure straight down my spine.

I obeyed, and the look in his eyes as he slid his cock into my mouth?

It was my undoing.

Because I might’ve been taking orders from him and absolutely loving it, but the look he gave me told me I was the one holding all the power here.

I opened wider, and he slid in and out, pumping into me like he had last night. I whimpered, my entire body sparking to life with each thrust, each tightening grasp in my hair as he lost himself to the way it felt. His eyes stayed on me, watching, gauging every reaction. I dug my nails into his thighs, letting him know how much I was enjoying this, being this for him, being wanted by him this much.

God, I loved it.

Gareth groaned, pulling out quickly.

“Up,” he demanded.

I rose to my feet, and he untied the sash on my robe, prying it open, his eyes raking over every inch of my bare skin.

“So many pretty places I can mark,” he said, looking at me. “Which spot do you want me to mark first, angel?”

I shivered with anticipation, then pointed to my breast. The mark he’d left there a week ago had faded.

“Again?”

“I want it back,” I said.

A low growl rumbled from his chest, and it was his turn to drop to his knees, giving him the perfect angle to suck?—

“Oh!” I gasped, bracing my hands on his broad shoulders as he sucked on a tender patch of skin on my breast, the pain-laced pleasure zapping through me like a lightning bolt.

He pulled back, admiring his work, and I did too. Adrenaline made my head spin at the sight of the red mark, his mark. Warmth pooled between my thighs, and as if he could sense it, he slid his hand between them, stroking through my wetness.

“You’re so ready for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I said, gasping as he dipped his head lower, licking up my slit.

I almost lost my balance, but one second he was on his knees and the next he was standing before me. He spun me around, walking me toward the bed before he bent me over the side.

“Mmm,” he murmured, sliding his hand along my spine in smooth, possessive touches. “Your perfect at every angle,” he said, his hand gliding around my hip and between my thighs.

“Gareth,” I gasped as he slid two fingers inside me, pumping rapidly as he dug the heel of his palm into my aching clit. There was no slow edging this time, only brutally beautiful pleasure that built and built with every thrust of his fingers, his teeth grazing my back as he bent over me. “I want you,” I begged, rocking against his hand.

“Don’t worry,” he said into my ear. “That slick pussy will get my cock the second you come on my fingers.”

Damn, when he talked to me like that, I felt wild.

I felt unhinged.

I felt?—

He curled his fingers, pressing against my throbbing clit with the perfect amount of pressure to set off a chain reaction that had me convulsing, a moan ripping from my lips as my orgasm tore through me.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he said, pulling his fingers from me. In seconds, he had a condom on and was sliding into me with such a gentle ease I trembled.

He paused once he sank to the hilt, filling me, stretching me, the burn so damn delicious.

I fisted the sheets, my desire amplified after having him in my mouth, having his hands on me, his teeth, his marks. Pushing back, I started the movement, and his hands flew to my hips.

“I’m fine,” I assured him when he continued to hesitate inside me. “You feel amazing, Gareth. You don’t have to be gentle?—”

He thrust into me, taking firm control as he rocked into me with agonizing slowness, his full, thick length dragging in and out of me with such teasing that my thighs shook.

“Gareth,” I groaned, the shift in pace so different from the fast orgasm he’d delivered moments ago. “Take me,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

He smirked, his eyes deliciously lust-hazed as he looked down at me. “I am,” he said, gently smacking my ass.

I fluttered around him.

“You want it harder?” he asked, going slow, the sound of my arousal evident between us.

“Yes!”

He bent over me, his bare chest against my back, his lips at the shell of my ear. “Tell me specifically, Serenity.”

“Fuck me harder, Gareth,” I demanded, a thrill rushing through me at the control he was giving me even with me bent over the bed. I didn’t want him to hold back with me, not now. Not ever.

“Fuck, that mouth,” he said.

“You already did,” I fired back.

I caught his smile over my shoulder before he stood back up, and then he thrust in so quick and hard, I moaned, dropping my head forward as I gripped the sheets.

“Like this?” he asked, upping his pace, his hands clutching my hips.

“Yes, like that,” I answered, pushing back against him with every thrust so we clashed together over and over again.

He went fast and hard, snapping some leash he’d held himself on, and I couldn’t get enough. Pleasure was a sharp edge inside me, Gareth walking me right up to it again and again.

“Fucking perfect,” he groaned, and the sounds of him slamming into me from behind made my clit pulse harder.

Slipping his hand around my hip, he dipped his hands between my thighs again, all while maintaining his pace, and rolled his fingers over my throbbing clit.

I cried out, the combined sensations otherworldly.

“Gareth,” I said, my walls fluttering as my release built.

“Goddamn,” he groaned, pressing down on my clit until I shattered completely around him.

I saw stars, my head dropping to the bed as I came so hard my entire body trembled.

Gareth followed me with his own release, bending over me as we caught our breath.

Just like the night before, he was gentle when pulling out, and then retrieved something to clean me up with. His touch was so tender, so careful. Such a contrast to the way he’d just rocked and marked my body.

I loved it.

Was wholly addicted to it.

To him. To the way I felt more alive and myself than I ever had before when I was with him.

We tumbled into bed, him holding me, showering my bare skin with soft, lazy strokes as we recharged.

“So,” I finally said, tracing one of his angular black tattoos over his peck. “You’re saying you don’t want me to leave?” I teased.

He shifted, looking down at me. “I don’t want you to leave.”

I released a blissful little sigh, tucking my head against his chest.

“Good,” I said, continuing with my almost sleepy study of his too-good-to-be-true body. “Because I like it here.”