Chapter Nineteen

I came to and was instantly bombarded with sound. Terrible sound. Crying. Anxious voices. One ear was waterlogged, making part of the noise hollow. Someone was saying my name over and over.

“I'm all right,” I said groggily. “It takes more than a bump on the head to keep me down.”

“Vervain,” Odin said with relief. “You need to get up. Now .”

I blinked. He wanted me up? Right away? That couldn't be good. I sat up and frowned. We were at home. I was in bed. Dry. That wasn't so surprising. Anyone with air or water-based magic could have dried me off in seconds. Even fire would have done the trick. What was odd was the amount of people in my bedroom. Yes, even more than usual. And the wailing hadn't stopped. What was even worse was that it came from my children.

Mother instincts kicked in as soon as I registered their cries. I zeroed in on them, my arms opening. “I'm okay. Come here.”

“Mommy!” my babies cried and rushed me. All of them.

It was a tough squeeze, but I got them all in on the hug, mainly because the twins put away their wings so they were small enough to fit. And they were the ones crying the hardest. I'd never seen them so distraught.

“Shh,” I cooed. “It's okay. I'm fine. ”

Then Sebastian wailed, “Daddy!”

That's when the somber faces of the adults registered. And the lack of one of them. I looked from the helpless stares of my husbands to the bed beside me, stretching my neck to see around the kids. Someone was lying there.

“Azrael,” I whispered, my chest going tight. My breath lodged in my throat as my instincts to comfort my children fought with my need to get to my husband.

“Come, Lesya,” Kirill said and took her from me.

“Vero,” Trevor did the same with our boy.

But no one was going to be able to take the twins. They clung to me desperately. Their soaked eyes squeezed shut over and over, tears pouring down their red cheeks.

“Shh,” I said to them as I tucked them to one side and crawled over to Az. “I need to see your father.”

That finally got through to them, and they sniffled into little whimpers.

“Mommy,” Dominic said. “Fix Daddy.”

“Daddy is going to be fine, baby. He's strong.” I was trying to convince myself of this too, because Az wasn't looking so good.

It wasn't just the fact that he was passed out cold. It was his form. He was still Death, his bones showing through his skin, so white they were practically glowing. Only the bones showed—as if there was nothing else inside him. Normally, his eyes would be a cluster of blazing stars set in the dark sky of his eye sockets, but with his eyes shut, nothing showed. His lids were still there, just like the rest of his flesh, and they covered the sky inside him. No sparks fell from his eyes to burn whatever they landed upon. Death appeared dead .

Azrael's beautiful midnight wings were folded beneath him but also around him, their joints curved together to form a hood over his head and a robe around his shoulders. His hair was lost in the darkness of that feathered hood, but I felt it beneath my hand when I stroked his head. I didn't know what happened to make him like that, but I was guessing no one else did either. So, I didn't bother to ask the others. I just sent my senses down the line between us and felt for myself.

Az was still there. Not dead or dying. That sent relief shooting through me. But he couldn't wake up either. Couldn't even speak to me through our link. I called out over and over to him with only silence in response. A terrible silence. I shuddered as I pulled back into myself. My boys had started crying again, and I cuddled them.

“Daddy is just fine,” I said. “Shh, now. I checked on him. He's sleeping. He's been through something very strenuous and needs his rest. He's all right.”

My words finally broke through their fear, and the twins sniffled as they focused on my face.

“Daddy is sleeping?” Sebastian asked.

“Yes.” I kissed Sebastian's cheek. “He's sleeping. We shouldn't disturb him. How about you go with your sister and brothers and have some ice cream while I keep Daddy company until he gets up?”

“Ice cream?” Sebastian asked.

Dominic wasn't so easily swayed. He frowned and looked back at his father. “Why does he look like that? Bond Daddy never sleeps.”

“Bone Daddy is the one who got the most tired today, so Bone Daddy has to rest.”

“Oh. ”

“Is Uncle Az really okay?” Lesya asked.

“Yes, baby,” I said brightly. “He's just fine.”

The lie gave my stomach an acid burn, but I had to get my kids out of that room before I lost my shit and started screaming. I could feel my eyes twitching and my throat started to burn.

“Mommy knows best,” Trevor said. “She's got a magic link to Azrael and she can see inside him. So, if she says he's okay, he's okay.” He paused to grin at the kids. “Let's go get ice cream!”

Usually, the kids would have cheered, but even they couldn't recover that quickly from being that scared. They looked from me to Az and then, finally, smiled. Black feathered wings burst into being on Sebastian and Dominic, and they crawled to the side of the bed. Kirill put Lesya down to help the twins off the bed, then nudged them toward Trevor. Trevor gave me a heavy look as he led the kids away.

I waited until I heard the elevator moving before I said, “He's not okay.”

“No shit,” Pan drawled. “What the fuck is wrong with him, V?”

As I mentioned, there were more people in my bedroom than usual. The entire God Squad to be specific.

“I don't know. He's in there, and he's not dying, so that's good. But he's not responsive either. It's like he's in stasis. I reach for him, but he can't reach back. He won't respond to anything I say to him telepathically, either.” I looked at Kirill. “This has to be a result of using your Death Magic together. What were you thinking? You didn't train with Az. And Azrael could have handled that shifter in seconds! Why would you bother using that magic? We didn't want to kill him! He was right to send that wave to us. He had to defend himself.”

“Shh, now, La-la,” Re cooed as he slid onto the bed behind me and wrapped his arms around me. His skin heated, and the warmth sank into me, soothing me. “No one wanted this.”

“Fuck,” I whispered. “What the fuck happened?”

“You sent Torrent to fetch me,” Odin said. “But I arrived too late. You went over the side of the dam with Kirill and Azrael. We couldn't catch you. Had to chase the three of you down the river. When we finally pulled you out, all three of you were unconscious. Kirill came to first, and then you woke up, but Az has been like this ever since.”

“Kirill,” I growled. “You are the one I want answers from.”

Kirill crawled onto the mattress and laid his head on my lap. “I'm sorry, Tima. I failed you.”

It had been a long time since Kirill had treated me like his Tima. Not that he disrespected me. He would never. But he had gained confidence after becoming the Lion God of Winter and Death. He was more aggressive now. More alpha. And that was a good thing, considering how broken he'd been before. Dying and coming back to life had helped heal him, but it was godhood that really made him epic.

That god was gone now. Kirill was back to the man he'd been when I'd found him—chained and beaten down into submission. It hurt to see him like that. It hurt enough to get me past my anger.

“Don't do that,” I whispered as I wrapped myself around him.

Re eased back to let us have a moment.

Kirill shuddered and turned toward me, bending his knees to curl around me. “Ve vere too cocky. Ve tried to bind the beaver vith Death. Only bind, not kill. But it vas too complicated. I pulled out of spell ven it started to go vrong, but Az . . . ”

“All right, stop that, Kirill,” I stroked his long hair. “I'm not your Tima anymore, remember? You're god to my goddess. And you are bound to Azrael now too. You don't get to lay this at my feet and ask me to fix it like one of the kids. You're going to help me fix this because that's what gods do.”

“Vervain,” Kirill whispered.

“Fuck, I can't watch this. This is brutal,” someone in the Squad muttered. I think it was Morpheus.

Whoever it was, the God Squad eased back as a whole and moved over to the kitchenette. Enough distance to give us some privacy until Kirill got his shit together. But they weren't leaving. They knew they'd be needed.

“I'll make some coffee,” Viper said.

Yeah, my husbands had gone with the Squad. All but Odin, who sat on Azrael's other side, holding his hand.

“Get up, Kirill,” I said, my tone going harsh. I was getting angry again. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew he needed something else from me. And that pissed me off. I wanted to be the one who got to fall apart. I needed that right then, but he took it from me. “Get up!” I hissed.

Kirill sat up, blinking his wet eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“I know. But I don't need you to apologize. I need you to connect with Az and Odin.” I waved at Odin. “I tried to reach Az, and I couldn't. Now, you two need to try.”

“She's right,” Odin said. “Take his hand, Kirill. We can look into Azrael through our bond. Maybe we'll be able to sense something that Vervain couldn't.”

Kirill swiped at his cheeks, then moved to sit beside Azrael's hip. He took Azrael's hand, bent his head, and closed his eyes, his hair falling around him. Odin nodded at me, then shut his eyes too.

Then came the waiting. It seemed as if they searched within Azrael for hours, but it was just a few minutes. I know because they came back just after the coffee pot chimed. Kirill and Odin blinked out of their trance at the same time and looked at me.

“Son of a bitch!” I hissed, reading their expressions.

“That doesn't bode well,” Blue said from his seat at the table beside Que.

“Let's go talk with the others,” Odin said as he climbed out of bed.

“One second,” I growled and got out of bed too. I made a beeline for the bathroom, shut the door, went to the far side of the massive room, and screamed into a towel. Again and again and again. I screamed until my throat burned, my eyes burned, and my hands burned. I screamed until the towel literally caught fire and dissolved into cinders. Then, panting for breath, I stared at the ash on my hands.

Azrael. Lost in himself. It seemed impossible. He had become the strongest of my husbands. Stronger than me. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah, probably. He had control over the Wild Magic and Death. He couldn't shift into a dragon, but he practically ruled the world. Okay, now I was trying to distract myself. That would help about as much as the screaming. And Az wasn't dead. He needed my help. I just had to figure out what that help was.

I didn't rush out to speak to Kirill and Odin. I didn't need to hear what they'd seen inside Az to know that the Angel of Death was in a personal purgatory. Something they did triggered this. Azrael and Kirill. But I didn't think Kirill was the key to waking Azrael up. At the moment, there was only one option I could think of. It was a long shot, but I was a faerie. Partially. I had to try .

I washed my hands, then left the bathroom to find Kirill and Odin waiting outside the door. They parted for me as I headed back to the bed. I crawled up beside Azrael again, said a prayer to the Elements and the Great Nine Magics, and then bent over my enchanted lover. As I kissed his cold lips, I pulled on the element inside me. The Fey part of me. Not to warm him. I just needed its support. Because this long shot was inspired by fairy tales. It sounds crazy, but fairy tales are all based on facts. Fey facts.

So, I kissed my Prince Charming and hoped that true love would break the spell that kept him asleep.

Everyone went silent. They knew what I was doing. Instead of scoffing, they hoped right along with me. I could feel their hope pressing in on me as I lifted my head and focused on Azrael's eyes. A minute passed. Another. I cursed. A love goddess-faerie-witch thwarted by a broken Death spell. That was a fairy tale gone wrong.

“It was worth a shot, Vervain,” Horus, of all people, said.

I screamed. I screamed like a wild thing and slapped Azrael's skeletal cheek. I pounded on his chest. I shook him. Tears poured down my face. I kept screaming. Madness loomed. I could feel the dark rising. I didn't fucking care. Anything would be better than this cold fear.

“Holy fuck,” someone said.

“For fuck's sake, you assholes!” a woman screeched. “Help her! Go to your wife!”

Suddenly I was surrounded by men, strong hands easing me back. They didn't need to use more force than that. As soon as they touched me, I went limp. True love—told you it had power. Crumpling backward, I fell into their arms and wept more softly .

“I don't know what to do,” I whispered over and over. “I don't know what to do.”

“It's going to be all right, Vervain,” Odin said firmly. “Azrael is strong. Whatever this is, he will get through it. We just need to figure it out.”

“It's the trickster.” I sat up and swiped at my eyes. “He had something to do with this!”

“I don't think so, Vervain,” Odin said. “Kirill and Azrael were playing with a powerful magic that they hadn't tested as a unit. This is not a part of the trickster's game. This is their mistake.”

“I think you're wrong.” I pushed away from my husbands and climbed out of bed.

I went past the table of gods to the coffee pot and poured myself some coffee, feeling stronger with someone to blame. Messed up, but true. It gave a focus to my fear, and that mellowed it.

“It's him.” I turned to face everyone. “A magical backlash would have hurt Azrael, but this? This isn't normal. The trickster did something to Az when he lost consciousness.”

“If that were true, there would be some kind of trace of his magic on Azrael,” Odin said.

“No, there wouldn't. The trickster's magic would be hidden along with every other trace of him.”

Odin scowled from me to Kirill.

Kirill shrugged. “It's possible. I didn't feel anyone else zere, but zat doesn't mean he vasn't.”

“Starlight, you were so insistent that the trickster has good intentions,” Viper said. “How could this be good? ”

“I don't know. Everything he did before seemed bad at the time,” I said.

“So, we're just supposed to trust the process?” Brahma asked.

“No,” I said. “We're going to hold the course. That beaver got the better of us earlier, but he won't do it again.” I looked at Torrent.

Torrent grinned. “And we know where he lives.”