Chapter 3

Gabriel

I want to facepalm myself over the whole coffee incident after the barista’s clear embarrassment. I didn’t mean to do that, but in my defense, it wasn’t great the first time around. Grayson and Hartley said theirs were fine, so obviously I’m the jackass for speaking up.

Still, she’s cute. I’ve got eyes.

I wonder who she is, and I’m about to ask Gray when my fucking phone beeps again.

It’s Geraldine, reminding me I’m picking up Trinity after kindy as she has a doctor’s appointment.

That reminds me. I need to send a message to Skye, then call Travis and find out when we can catch up for a drink. It’s been a while since I saw him last.

I thumb out a text as I listen to Gray talk about building on Coyote Run; the blessed land he’s had forever and where he plans to build his dream home. It’s all my brother talks about, and now that his cabin has burned down, it’s all the more reason to get things moving fast. Luckily, Hartley has a townhouse that they’re both sharing until the construction can begin.

Me

Hi. I got your number from my sister, Georgia. It’s Gabriel Bassett. I’m CEO of Bassett Brothers Distillery here in Stoney Creek. I heard you may be looking for some nanny work while you’re in town. Call me if you’re interested. We can set up a time to talk? I will need references.My daughter Trinity is five, so I need some before and after kindy care. Thanks.

Okay, it’s lame texting, but when I tried to call earlier, the phone just rang and I hate leaving messages because I sound like a dork.

I slide my phone back into my pocket and resume the conversation.

Now Gray’s nasty divorce is out of the way, he’s a free agent. As much as he annoys the shit out of me, and we both rattle each other’s cages, he deserves to be happy. Having your ex do what she did isn’t any feat to get over. I’d be put off women for life, and have been, after my marriage breakdown. I couldn’t even keep the mother of my child happy. The thought of a permanent woman in my life nauseates me at times, yet I miss having someone to come home to. I never brought any of the chicks I’ve slept with into my home.

I do have some moral ethics.

It’s my daughter’s childhood home.

Fucking in bathrooms wasn’t exactly my claim to fame, but it worked for a number of years until I woke up to myself.

I shake my head at the memories.

“How long is the building going to take?” I ask, as I sip on my new coffee. It does taste a lot better.

“We’re hoping to be in by next summer,” Gray replies.

I glance at Hartley. “You guys are all in.” It’s not even a question. They’re so loved up it’s not even funny, so I don’t even bother suggesting it may be a little too soon.

Gray has always known what he wants, and he’s never wavered from that. He’s not one to just jump into things, so I know what he has with her must be pretty special. I’m still trying to get to know my brother more, and after the recent spat we had some months back, the fire incident has brought us closer together and we’re no longer bickering.

Hartley smiles. “Looks like I’m here to stay.”

“Well, I’m glad,” I tell her. “Gray is a lot more compliable when you’re around.”

She laughs. “Does that mean I have to sit in on all your meetings?”

Gray scoffs. “Not if you don’t want Gabe to bore you to death.”

I’m tempted to flip him the bird, but that would be rude in front of Hartley, so I refrain.

“He’s definitely less moody, too,” I add. “So thank you, Hartley. I owe you one.”

“Then all we need to do is find you a woman too?” Hartley waggles her eyebrows suggestively. “If that’s all it takes to make you Bassett brothers happy.”

I laugh now. She’s good. Very good. But me and women… That’s a different story.

Aside from my one-night escapades — which I haven’t indulged in for quite some time — I’ve focused the last few years solely on my daughter. I can’t say it’s been an easy road, but I’m grateful for my family and friends, and the community. When they heard what Tiffany did, they all rallied around to help where they could. For that, I’m forever grateful.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow; my wife chose her career over her family. Neither me nor my daughter deserved the cards we were dealt. Least of all, Trinity. She was just a baby.

Explaining to her about her mom when she asked as she grew older was the hardest thing I”ve ever done. She’s only five now, so she doesn’t understand, but I know she missed out on so much with not having her mother in her life.

Tiffany never made it truly clear why she never wanted to come back. I guess her career was way more important than her family was. I can recall some of the conversations over and over on replay in my head like they were just yesterday, but none of it brought us any closer to reconciliation, or peace for that matter.

The burning question still remains; how could she leave us?

“Gabriel, I just don’t think you understand,” she said. It’s been a couple of weeks since she left and there is no sign of her returning. “There are things I need to do. I’m just not feeling like myself being at home all the time.”

I hate how she has to do this over the phone. “But you’ve started back at work part-time, you’re not at home all the time.”

“Being a mom isn’t enough. I’m sorry, but it isn’t. You always knew I was career-minded, Gabe.”

I get that she still wants her career, and I was always okay with that. I didn’t expect her to just give up who she was because we now had a child. But it’s only been a few months since Trinity’s birth.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Tiffany, she needs you. We both need you. You need to come home so we can sort this out.”

“I can’t. Not right now. I need to sort out my head.”

I didn’t even want to bring this up with her being a doctor, and I didn’t want to sound like an asshole. “Maybe it is postpartum depression, Tiff. It happens, I’ll do whatever it takes. We can work it out together.”

“I didn’t mean to sort out my head because I’m depressed. It isn’t that. I’m sick of you saying that.”

“How do you know it isn’t that?”

“Because I would know. The pregnancy came as a huge shock, you know that. I wasn’t ready for it. And I don’t know if I ever would’ve been ready. I didn’t feel what you’re supposed to feel.”

I feel the lump in my throat. My body drained from her words. She’s slipping further and further away, and my resentment for her is growing.

It also stuck in my mind that she’d already taken her wedding rings off.

Was it always her intention to never come back?

“It was meant to be. Look at how beautiful Trinity is!” How could she not see it?

Clearly, she wasn’t well. She couldn’t just not love us anymore. I refused to accept that.

I’ve been going out of my mind since she left. My parents came over and Mom helped with Trinity because I was too shocked and overwhelmed to deal with anything. Brooklyn gave me a shit ton of help since he also has a daughter and knows a lot more about this than I do.

But at night when I’m alone, I lay in our bed listening to the rain on the roof.

My baby resting on my chest with a bottle in her mouth.

“I can’t, Gabe. You need to accept that.”

“When are we going to see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’ll be in touch soon, I promise.”

I’ll be in touch? I’d never felt so out of my depth and so alone in all my life…

“You know, it takes a little more than that,” Gray cajoles with Hart and snaps me out of my reverie. When I look up, he’s watching me. “You’re thinking hard over there.”

“You know me, my mind is always on the business,” I lie. No one really needs to know the depths of my pain. I don’t need to wear the reflection of complete and utter despair on my sleeve.

I’d like to believe I’ve hidden it well over the years.

Maybe that’s why I’m such a hothead and tend to lose my shit easily.

I”ve designed my life the way I wanted, so letting someone new in could potentially disrupt things. Do I want to live alone like this for the rest of my life?

Only having work to fall back on?

And while I love my daughter more than anything in the world, it would be nice to have a woman to share it all with, too. I miss that. Not just being close to someone, but enjoying their company. And kissing. I’m a kisser, and I haven’t done it in way too long.

A big part of me worries what that would do to the dynamic of me and Trinity, and the world of two we’ve built over the past five years.

My mom is always telling me I have so much love to give. She sees my heart and she knows what I have inside that often feels like it’s bursting to be let out. It’s something I wished Tiffany could have had; a mother’s instinct. Her only instinct was to abandon us and never see us again. I don’t understand how someone could be so heartless.

I shake off the bitterness.

“You work too much,” Gray says, surprising me. “When did you last take a vacation?”

I glance up at them both, stirring the spoon around in my coffee absently. “I can’t say I remember,” I admit with a shrug. “Trin and I visited Georgia when she was three.”

“Two years ago?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Something like that.”

“Maybe it’s time,” Hartley says.

“Maybe.” They make a good point, but I have no intention of doing that right now.

“And before you say anything, I’m not after your job when you go,” Gray adds.

My mouth quirks into a smile. Yes, we’ve been feuding for months over that.

I was more than a little sensitive about my big brother heading back to Stoney Creek and taking my job away from me. Now I can see how ridiculous that is, because not only did Gray admit to me he wants nothing of the sort; I can see it for myself now. His focus is entirely on his future at Coyote Run, as well as running the exports for the distillery. He’s really shown no inclination to take over things.

We all have input, but someone has to be at the helm. And I trained tirelessly for years with my dad, learning all the ropes from being out in the field where we grow barley and rye on the property, to production down in the cellar where Brooklyn manages a team. And everything in the back office, from marketing, accounts, staffing and budgets, to the tasting room, customer service and working in the retail store. I’ve done it all. No one can say that the role of CEO has been handed to me on a silver platter.

“Good to know, brother.” I smile to myself.

He grins, too. I like how my brother has mellowed since Hartley came along. He was so fucking broody before. The love of a good woman…

“Anyway, I have to get back to work. I have to pick Trin up at three.”

“You know if you ever need a hand with pick up or drop off, I can help out,” Hartley says. She works in her father’s law firm in town.

“Thanks, Hart. That’s nice of you. Sometimes I do get stuck. I don’t suppose you want to be a nanny, too?”

She laughs. “I think I’d better stick to family law.”

“Are you still looking for someone?” Gray frowns. He knows what a hardship this is.

“Don’t you start. Me and Geraldine had a good thing going, then she had to go and ruin it.” I will get over it someday. The woman has every right to retire. I just love her to pieces, and she’s been so good to us. It’s hard when things have to change.

So fucking hard.

“How selfish wanting to retire at her age.” Gray looks at me pointedly. “But I get where you’re coming from. It’s a big loss.”

“I have someone in mind,” I say. “Nannies aren”t easy to find in small towns.”

“I’ll keep my eye out, and if I hear of anyone, you’ll be the first to know,” Hartley says.

“Thanks.” I smile appreciatively. “Good help is hard to find around here.”

“Anytime.”

I glance up. The cute girl from behind the counter has gone.

I reach for my phone as I stand. “I better head out. Got a bit to get through today.”

“See you later,” Gray says.

I nod to Hartley.

“Bye, Gabe.”

As I’m leaving and heading toward my truck, my phone beeps.

Skye Hendry

I’d love to chat. What time works for you?

I smile to myself.

Today might just be a good day after all.