5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Steve was next to question Alan, but he understood. “Boss, that guy is good. But this isn’t what he wanted to do, right?”

Alan was at his desk, once again looking over Gabriel's choices. “He’s good. Shouldn’t that be the end of it?”

Steven sat in front of Alan’s desk, laughing. “I’m not on you about the guy. I like him. And I saw his brother. Talk about a cute little bugger.”

“He’s, yeah, he’s adorable.”

“My Mama told me to be careful of getting with women who had kids.”

“What?” Alan stared at him like he’d lost his mind.

“Not in a bad way! Just because they are a package deal. If you can’t love the kids, don’t try to make the mother love you because you aren’t right. The package is big, it’s not easy, and it will take a lot more from you than love.”

“Who in the hell said I was thinking of dating him?”

Steve laughed more. “Wow, you need to take a mirror to yourself when you’re around the guy. It’s written in plain ass language.”

Alan could deny it to everyone he’d ever met, but he couldn’t deny it to himself. “Steve…the second I saw him at the mall, and there I am, dressed as Santa, that little kid coming and telling me he wanted…the look on the guy’s face? He has so much love for those kids and, come on! You or me? If we were twenty-five and raising two little kids, we’d be out of our minds. Him? He just rolls with it, like he not only owes it to his mother, but he wants to give them what she gave him. All that love.”

“And knowing you, you want to give him the same thing. You wear your heart right there on your sleeve, man. I get it and admire it, but listen to my mother for a minute. That dude is a great big package. If you think, for a minute, you couldn’t handle the ready-made family deal, then back off now, be his boss, and end-of-story the rest.”

What no one knew about him was that besides wanting a good man to share his life with, the thought of being a dad, even stepping into a similar role, could make his life better than anything he could imagine.

“I’ll keep all that in mind, Steve. I promise. You know me. I wouldn’t hurt him or those kids for anything.”

“I know. Believe me, if anyone could, it would be you. I think what all of us who love you worry about is you getting hurt. If those kids don’t want you around, he’ll pick them. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t want him anyway.”

“Wow, I never thought of that, but you’re right. I wouldn’t have a bit of respect for him if he chose me over the kids, but I’d never ask that.”

Steve smiled warmly and agreed. “No, I know that. Shit, if anything, you’d step away at the first sign of trouble. But there’s a weird line there. Don’t step away unless you have to if you decide to go for it.”

“I haven’t decided anything.”

“Yeah,” he said, getting up and heading for the door. “Like I said, get that mirror.”

He sat back in his chair, staring at nothing in particular, waiting for Gabriel’s face to drift into his mind. It had since the mall, haunting him like a specter of something that could be if only he put himself out there.

The way he was raised, he wanted to help people. His mother still volunteered in soup kitchens, and she could barely get around with her arthritis. His dad worked at church fairs, gave to set charities every year, and helped neighbors mow their lawns and clean their gutters.

Once he found out Gabriel needed a job, it was his first impulse to help the guy without thinking about how much he was attracted to him. Had he just backed himself into a corner?

No. If he never asked the man out, so be it. Gabriel was good, coming out of the gate kicking ass. With two little boys deposited into his lap, he had to make money. He needed to feel like he was doing something good for them.

Downhearted, Alan resolved himself to think of Gabriel only as a man who happened to work for the company. That’s it. That was the extent of it.

Forget those beautiful hazel eyes so shiny that he seemed always on the verge of tears. Forget those soft lips and how they’d feel against Alan’s…

He could forget all of it. The wisps of hair that hung down low on his brow just ever so slightly curled. Surely, he could forget the soft but masculine voice that hesitated often from his lack of confidence.

No! Alan could wish for Gabriel to find a guy that would hold him, love him, and protect him from all the bad things in the world, just as he was trying so nobly to do for his brothers. To make him feel special, beautiful, and worthy of only the best that life had to offer.

Wishing for someone to sweep Gabriel off his feet and make him smile every single day and never bring a truly sorrowful tear from those haunting eyes…

“God, Alan, you’re pathetic. If you saw a guy doing that, your first impulse would be to kick their ass to get away from your guy. What the fuck do I do now?